CHAPTER 4

The bistro was okay but not great. The museum, on the other hand, was a blast for both Niko and Kelsen, as they got to learn all about Doxen’s history, from battles to discoveries and more. There was even a new section all about Moccs and Latia meeting, and Doxen’s pivotal role in the trade and travel between them increasing. They were all delighted to find that the docent in charge of the exhibit was actually a Moccan herself, and they spent a good while chatting with her and a few other interested patrons about coming to Latia. There were two kids in this group, but both were well behaved and asked Niko questions politely, clearly seeing him as a person and not a toy or museum piece. Kelsen was feeling a bit too shy to participate much, but he gave them a wave when they separated to check out the rest of the museum.

The old district was more relaxing than anything. Due to the way the area was colored, the late afternoon sun made the buildings, many of which were already impressive design wise, become absolutely stunning. They held an old-school charm that none of the modern, mass-produced structures Niko and Kelsen were accustomed to could ever hope to even mimic, let alone match, and were of course on a scale barely even comprehensible to either. As they looked around, Ralia and Pakos told them exactly what they were looking at; some were old government buildings, constructed when Doxen officially became a democracy, while others were museums dedicated to subjects far more specific than the national history museum they’d just been to, like the Museum of Aviation, or the Museum of Archaeology. Both Moccans had a passing interest in seeing those at some point as well, but knew it’d have to wait for another day, or, more likely, another visit, seeing as they were only on Latia for a few days.

As the sun set, they slowly walked away from the old district, talking animatedly. Even Kelsen was having a good time. He was still nervous, of course, but he wasn’t hiding as much, and joined in the conversation from time to time.

Pakos checked his phone. “I don’t need to be anywhere anytime soon. You guys have dinner plans?”

“Not really,” Niko responded. “Wanna find a place?”

“Sounds good.” They looked as they walked, though they also used their phones, searching for another restaurant that served Moccans as well as Latians. It took them a solid fifteen minutes to find one that way, and another twenty to walk there. On the way, Pakos asked, “So, what’s with you guys and walking? I like to be fit as the next guy, but there are buses in the city. And don’t you have a car?”

Ralia looked over. “Well, taking public transportation is kinda complicated with Moccans. They don’t take up a seat—necessarily—but they’re still people on the bus or train or whatever. It’s not entirely consistent between cities or even districts as to whether they have to pay, and that’s an argument I’d rather not get into. More importantly, what if we have to stand, and then the bus slams on the brakes? I’d have one hand holding on for dear life, and the other trying to make sure these two didn’t go flying.”

Kelsen shuddered. “Please don’t put these images in my head.”

“Sorry, sorry! I guess I should have just said it’s a safety issue. But, third, lots of people aren’t prepared to run into Moccans, and I think it’d be weird to be in a confined space with someone who got surprised like that.”

“Huh? You talking, like, xenophobes?”

“Well...sort of, I guess. Overall, I just want to be in control of the situation, you know?”

Pakos chuckled. “Ah. That part I get.”

“Hold on, go back.” Kelsen looked up at Ralia. “Xenophobes? Like, racists? I mean, I guess I knew there’d be some, but there’s enough that we need to be worried?”

“No! Of course not. Especially if we’re careful. Which we are. It’s all right, Kel. No one’s gonna do anything.”

“Remember all the people we’ve seen,” added Niko. “Most have been excited or interested to see us, and a bunch were even too shy! Hell, I’m probably the only one who needs to worry, what with the apparent homophobes around here.”

“Hm?” said Pakos.

“Oh, we were doing a thing earlier, and Ralia told me that lots of people here on Latia are still hung up over who fucks who, like it’s any of their business. Super weird compared to Moccs. Not sure how I never noticed it online, though.”

“Well, you see the best in people,” Pakos said, a little too gruffly. “I mean, you’re too nice for your own good, you know?”

“Heh. I’ll take that as a compliment.”

The conversation stalled for a moment as they ordered their food, but continued after they sat down. “Anyway, Kel, trust us. We’ll be fine. We honestly probably need to worry about Pakos and Ralia more than anyone else.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, you bet your ass.”

Niko laughed. “Exactly. I’m more worried about your ass sitting on me by accident than I am of some racist breaking my kneecaps or whatever.”

“Careful what you wish for.”

“Oh, get a room, you two,” Ralia said, grinning.

Pakos just laughed, but Niko muttered something under his breath to Kelsen, who snorted uncharacteristically. “What? What’d you say?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, out with it!”

Niko deactivated his Micz and turned to Kelsen, who followed his lead. “Hey, man. You seem to be doing a lot better now.”

“Yeah?”

“Well...are you comfortable with Ralia?”

“Mostly, why?”

“You think you can get by for a day or two without me?”

“I...maybe. Are you going to…?”

“I think so.” Niko muttered something to himself. “C’mon, gotta just do it. Just gotta say it. Just gotta try.” He seemed to be trying to psych himself up.

“Hey, if you think it’ll make you happy...go for it,” said Kelsen.

Meanwhile Pakos had cupped his paws around his mouth. “Heyyy, Latia to Niko! Let us in on the joke!”

Niko steeled himself and turned his Micz back on. “I uh, I said...I said, ‘Bitch, we might!’”

Pakos laughed, and Ralia seemed somewhat amused but more shocked. Pakos’ laughter soon petered out, though, and he leaned back and eyed Niko. “Wait, what?”

Running a hand through the fur between his ears, Niko coughed once and went for it. “Well, I mean, what are you doing—what do you think if we—you got space for a Moccan in your apartment?”

“Dude, that was three different attempts, and you botched them all. Spectacularly.” Pakos’ smile was sarcastic, almost biting, but eventually let up. “How about this—you want to ride in my pocket for a while?”

Niko gaped. “I mean—I’d—I want—yes! Yes, let’s try that. And, you know, see what happens.”

...

After they’d finished, they talked about what they might do next, as the night was still somewhat young. Pakos suggested they catch a movie—there was a popular Latian film in theaters that wouldn’t be available to Moccans for months, and which Kelsen in particular was excited to see—but Ralia suggested they avoid it for now, for similar reasons to her wanting to avoid using public transportation.

“It’s not really the same,” Pakos argued. “These aren’t people on their way to work—they’re there for the movie, same as we are. And everyone is going to be quiet, facing the screen—I doubt anyone will even notice.”

“It’ll be pretty dark in the theater,” offered Niko. “And even if we’re not taking up a seat, we’ll buy tickets. So we’ll have just as much right as anyone else to be there.”

“I don’t know...”

Kelsen looked up. “I’m willing to give it a try. If we’re careful.”

“Oh, all right,” Ralia finally relented.

They cleaned up their things, and then Ralia put her paw down on the table for Kelsen to climb. Pakos had other ideas, and simply scooped Niko up as soon as he seemed ready. “Wow, shit, dude,” Niko said.

“What? You didn’t like that?” Pakos asked, setting Niko into his jacket pocket.

“No, I just—a little warning next time?”

“Sure, sure. If you want to be a pussy about it.”

Ralia raised an eyebrow and Kelsen frowned, but Niko just laughed. “Yeah, sure. I’m a total pussy because I want a little warning before someone picks me up.”

“Yeah, exactly. A real man desires no warning.”

“So a real man has no concern for his own safety?”

“Exaaactly.” The two of them laughed again.

It was a short walk to the theater. Both in line and at the ticket desk, Latians, including staff, stared at Kelsen and Niko, but thankfully no one said anything—until they went to the concession stand, at Kelsen’s request, because “You can’t go to the movies and not get popcorn.” Not that Kelsen often went to the movies, but when he did, he insisted on getting popcorn. However, unfortunately for him, they found that not only did the theater lack seats specifically for Moccans, it didn’t make food for anyone their size, either. Ralia ended up getting a medium sized bag for sharing with him, but as the cashier—a young looking badger—handed it over, he paused, staring at Kelsen. “Uhhh...are they...Moccans?”

Kelsen nodded shyly and sank down a few inches, and Pakos snorted. “No, they’re just really, really short.”

The cashier was unmoved by the joke. “I, uh, I dunno if Moccans are allowed.”

Reaching over a little further than should have been necessary to take the popcorn, Ralia smiled, though Niko noticed it wasn’t quite genuine. “Do you have any specific rules, safety, or health concerns concerning Moccans at this establishment?”

“I...dunno.”

She pressed harder, one hand coming up to shield Kelsen, who had completely retreated into her pocket at this point. “Well, then, seeing as Moccans have been ruled by Doxen to share the same rights as Latians, I don’t see why they wouldn’t be allowed.” She glared at the cashier. “Unless your worry is something more personal? You wouldn’t have any misplaced concerns about who is and who is not allowed to patronize your establishment that a superior would need to hear about...would you?”

The badger shifted back and forth, before looking down. “Enjoy the movie,” he muttered.

As they headed for the room their film was to be shown in, Niko whistled. “Damn, Ralia, you scary,” he said with a chuckle.

“Hardly. But it was clear he had some personal issue with Moccans...what a jerk.”

Pakos shared a look with Niko, but what he meant to convey with it was lost on the mouse. “Hey, Kensen. Coast is clear now.”

“It’s Kelsen.”

“Right. Did it again, huh? Anyway, don’t be a wuss. Guys like that aren’t worth your time.”

Niko mockingly punched Pakos’ chest. “He’s not a wuss. But hey, Kel, Pakos is right. That guy isn’t worth worrying about.”

“Mm.” Kelsen gave a wordless grunt from within Ralia’s pocket, and didn’t peek out until they’d entered the actual theater and found their seats near the back. It was a good thing he didn’t, as looking over the railing would have shown him a dizzying drop. It was hundreds of feet from the floor of the bottom step up to the ceiling. Not that the room seemed small from where they were; the room wasn’t quite so large as a football field, but it was certainly massive, easily the largest single room the Moccans had seen on their visit so far, barring a few special rooms back at the museum.

As they sat through commercial after commercial, other patrons entered and found their seats. One middle-aged tiger and his family sat down one row ahead, and as they took their seats, glanced at Niko and muttered to his wife, “Didn’t realize they allowed pets in here.” She laughed, and the kids, completely ignoring their parents, got up and began running around the theater, disturbing other moviegoers. Neither parent seemed worried.

Kelsen ducked back down, letting out an almost imperceptible whine, and Ralia gave the back of the man’s head a severe look. Niko was opening his mouth to say something when Pakos laughed. Niko glowered at him. “Wha—dude, not funny!”

“It’s a little funny.”

“No! It’s not!”

“Jeez, sorry. It hurt your feelings? You want me to show this guy a thing or two?”

“No. I can handle myself.” Niko raised his voice. “They must allow pets, if your kids got in here, huh?”

The man turned. “What did you say, you little pest?!”

“Hey man, I’m sitting here with my friends, waiting to watch a movie, minding my own business, and your rude ass comes in and takes a shot, while your kids start screaming and bothering everyone. Who’s the worse pest?”

The tiger stood, and Pakos stood as well. Ralia was clearly worried, but Pakos seemed...almost excited, as if interested how this would turn out. “I won’t be spoken to this way by a Moccan insect!”

“Mouse, actually, asshole. Did you lose your eyesight when you lost your manners? Or, wait, did you ever have either to begin with?”

Ralia stood as well. “Niko, maybe we should—”

Pakos cut her off, jeering. “God damn, you’re being told off by a Moccan smaller than your paw. How’s it feel, old man?”

In response, he jumped over his own seat and approached Pakos, stopping only a few inches away, looming over both Pakos and Niko, who put on a brave face despite looking like he regretted getting in over his head like this. “Another word, and I’ll knock you out cold and get rid of your mouthy little pet there,” he growled.

“Holy shit,” muttered Ralia, grabbed Pakos’ arm and pulled him back. “Guys, let’s go.”

Pakos sputtered. “What? If he wants a fight, I’ll give him one!”

“Not with Niko and Kelsen here! Come on. We’re leaving. This is exactly the kind of thing I was worried about.”

The tiger didn’t follow, and on their way out, they stopped by the concession stand again, this time to report the tiger. When they asked the still irritated badger for a manager, he tapped his name badge.

“Oh,” said Ralia, feeling dumb for not noticing earlier. But when she reported the situation, the badger just shrugged. “Unless there was a physical altercation, I am not required to take any action.”

“He threatened our friend!”

“And you admitted to threatening him.”

“Standing up for my friend isn’t the same as a threat, jackass,” said Pakos.

“So, what? You’re not going to do anything at all?” The badger shrugged again. “Fine then. We’d like a refund for our tickets. Please.”

“Your dissatisfaction is by no means the fault of the theater. I am not required to grant your request.”

“Oh my god,” Ralia muttered.

“Let’s just go?” asked Kelsen from the bottom of her pocket.

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s go. I think we’re done here.”

Outside, Pakos put his paws in his pockets. “Well, that was shitty.”

Niko hung his head. “Sorry. That was totally my fault.”

“Hey, he’s the one who was an asshole.”

“Yeah, but I escalated it. If I had just let it go, we could have watched the movie in peace.”

“Not too sure about that. The longer we were in the room with a guy like that, the more likely he is to lose it. Trust me.”

Sighing, Niko shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. At least we got out without a fight.” He scratched the back of his neck, still feeling guilty. “Should we try anything else, or call it a night?”

“I’m thinking we call it a night,” said Ralia, just a little coldly. “Are you coming back with us, or going to Bonaco with Pakos?”

“Oh, um...” Niko was clearly embarrassed.

“He can crash with me.”

“...Thanks.”

“All right. What about your stuff?”

“Oh, um.” Niko reached under his jacket and took out a small bundle. “Fresh clothes, charger, and a couple other things.” Pakos looked down at him, amused. “What? You can’t spend as much time around Kel as I do and not try to think ahead. Plus, this morning I was, uh...”

“You were what?”

“Never mind. Hey, Kel, Rails—we’ll see you around, yeah? Hopefully grab food and find somewhere cool to be tomorrow.”

Ralia nodded. “We’ll be in touch. And...don’t do anything stupid, you two.”

Pakos put a paw to his chest. “Please! I am a paragon of wise decision-making.”

“Uh huh.” With a wave, she started heading home.

...

Averting the temptation to simply drop onto the couch and slump, Ralia eased down onto it to avoid jostling her passenger, then carefully checked on him. Kelsen had been silent ever since he asked for them to leave the theater. She found him curled up at the bottom of her pocket, covering his head with his paws. At her opening the pocket, he glanced at her, then looked away. “Please don’t look at me like that.”

She was genuinely surprised. “Like what?”

“Looming. Staring down at me. Like I’m a thing.”

“Kel, honey, you know I’d never think of you like that.”

Kelsen trembled. “Those guys at the theater did. Your neighbor did.” He paused for a minute. “Pakos does, kinda.”

“Kel, those guys were jerks. Not worth thinking about. Next time we go out, we’ll be more careful.” She sighed. “But...I am worried about Niko. I still don’t feel like I know Pakos very well. What if he’s different in person than online? God, I hope we didn’t just abandon Niko.”

“Before the theater...I told him to go for it. I thought I was being supportive. But after the theater...” Kelsen shifted. “Am I a bad friend?”

“Of course not!” As she had many times before, Ralia wanted nothing more than to scoop Kelsen up and nuzzle him half to death, to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. But she knew as well as Niko not to make Kelsen’s anxiety worse by thrusting him into unfamiliar situations too quickly, and, especially now, it sounded like he was worried about the unfortunate physical power dynamic between Latians and Moccans. Not that she could blame him; she’d been afraid of the tiger herself, and could hardly imagine what must have been going through Niko’s mind, let alone Kelsen’s.

“Kel, honey, it’s hard to know if letting him go with Pakos was a good idea or not, but it was his choice. For now all we can do is be here and be willing to help if, god forbid, anything goes wrong. And as for the others...some people are going to be like that. It’s not something we can change overnight.” She peeked at him. He was no longer trembling, but clearly distressed. “Kel...can I pick you up, please? I promise I will be very gentle and careful.”

“I...I dunno...wh-what are you gonna do?”

“I just want to talk to you, face to face.” She gave him a small smile. “It’s hard to hear you, all muffled down there.”

“I…I...okay, just...take it slow.”

“Of course.” Opening her pocket wide with one paw, she cautiously reached in and curled her fingers around him, waiting until she had him in a good grip and position—one in which he was basically half sitting, half laying down in her paw—to lift him out. He seemed torn between wanting to withdraw into himself and wanting to hang on for dear life; it would have been a bit cute if she wasn’t sad to see him upset. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, she brought him up to roughly face height, and smiled. For his part, Kelsen started to calm down, just a little bit. But then she shifted—not entirely on purpose, only to get more comfortable in a position that required her to hold a paw up to her eyes—and that jostled Kelsen, and brought him too close to her face.

Kelsen panicked. He started struggling in her paw, which was holding him very loosely in the first place, and managed to roll over the edge. In a slight panic herself, Ralia reached to catch him in her other paw, but being gripped like that only made things worse. He struggled harder, hurting himself in the process. “Let go! LET ME GO! Please!” His desperation was painful to hear. Bringing up her other paw, she did her best to make sure he was secure without being so tight as to prompt him to struggle, and she jumped off the couch and leaned down towards the Moccan room she’d furnished for him and Niko. “Here, here, Kelsen! You’re okay! It’s me! You’re all right!” Placing her paws in front of the room, she released him. “Here, will this make you feel better?”

He fell, rolled, tumbled, and staggered to his feet, then dashed inside and slammed the door behind him—as far as he could slam the cheap plastic, anyway. Ralia heard the beginning of a sob, and then couldn’t hear anything at all. Feeling awful, she slumped against the couch. A minute or so later, her phone sounded, then again and again. She took it out, and saw three messages from Kelsen.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

...

Pakos hailed a cab to get himself and Niko back to his place. Pakos spent most of the ride on his phone, saying little, and Niko stared out the window, trying to still his heartbeat. He’d done it—sort of, anyway. He’d managed to get some time alone with Pakos. And the way Pakos went along with it, it seemed that he had similar feelings. Hopefully, they’d get to know each other a lot better over the next few days. Perhaps they could even work up to some of the ‘quality physical contact’ Ralia had joked about sharing with Kelsen.

Niko leaned back against Pakos’ chest. The jacket pocket he half stood, half sat in was warm, and he could hear Pakos’ heartbeat if he listened close enough. He closed his eyes and focused on it, letting it drown everything else out, leaving him alone with the steady drum and his thoughts.

In a way, going with Pakos was potentially dangerous; he had only known the guy online before this trip. But he’d always sensed something beneath the wolf’s lazy, almost condescending sarcasm—a sort of intensity, a longing for a certain kind of emotional contact with someone, and Niko felt the same way. It wasn’t that he wanted to be dependent on a Latian; rather, he wanted to be able to depend on them. And, if he was correct, Pakos didn’t want to care for him; he wanted to care about him.

It was a little weird, a little different, but was it so crazy? Moccans and Latians could be that with people their respective sizes, too. This was just more...pronounced. Less subtle. And if it made the two of them happy, who cared what anyone else thought? The same could be said for Latia’s apparent homophobia.

It was strange to consider that being gay was thought of as wrong by any more than a few fringe weirdos. Like he’d stepped into the past, and had to fight that battle all over again, as people had had to decades and centuries ago. What was next? Arbitrary sexism? Speciesism? Would someone say he and Pakos didn’t belong together because Pakos had fangs and he didn’t? It seemed crazy.

Pakos moved, and woke Niko from his introspection. Only then did he realize that they had arrived, and Pakos was getting out of the cab. They’d stopped in front of an apartment building that was far different from Ralia’s; while hers was all indoors, these apartments were outdoors, and the only way to reach the higher floors was via the stairs. All in all, it seemed far older.

“Better buckle up,” Pakos said with a grin as he began climbing. Every step jostled Niko in the pocket, and by the sixth step, he had completely lost his balance and was sprawled on the bottom. Still, the shaking continued. “What, are you having a bad time?”

“Can’t—you—take it—a little—slower?”

“Nah. We’re almost there, anyway.” The tremors finally stopped, and Niko clumsily made his way to his feet, hanging on to the pocket’s edge with a vice grip.

Inside, Pakos’ apartment was certainly more cluttered than Ralia’s. There were some cast off clothes in the main room, and the kitchen counter was covered in papers, magazines, and electronics. The sink was full of unwashed dishes. The couch was scarred and beaten, and missing a cushion. Niko tried not to judge; he suspected his apartment would look somewhat similar if Kelsen wasn’t such a neat freak.

To his surprise, Pakos headed straight for the bedroom. Flicking on the light, he emptied his pockets on the nightstand next to his bed. Unlike the front room and kitchen, the bedroom was mostly tidy, except for the bed being unmade and for the random sock in the corner, which had missed the laundry basket next to it. Without a word of warning, Pakos reached into his pocket and plucked Niko out.

“Dude!”

“What?”

Niko shifted, making himself more comfortable in Pakos’ paw. “I know we were joking about it before, but you seriously need to tell me before you up and grab me.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Uh, I am a person, and you are picking me up unexpectedly. And I asked you not to.”

“Okay, sheesh. Sorry. I’ll let you know.”

“Good. That’s all I wanted.”

Pakos set him down on the floor. “Anyway, bathroom’s over there if you want.” He nodded toward the room’s other doorway and started shrugging off his jacket.

“Oh. Um. Shit, I didn’t think about that.”

Pakos took off his shirt next, apparently intent on changing. “Check it out. You might be surprised.”

Puzzled, Niko did as he said, and inside the bathroom, found a small Moccan-sized room—more of a shack, really—against the same wall as the Latian-sized sink and toilet. “Wait, you have one too?”

“Just the bathroom. I had...someone else staying with me for a while. But he left.”

“Another Moccan?”

“Yeah. Duh. Anyway, had that installed while he was here.”

“He not around anymore?”

“No. He had to go. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“All right.”

A minute or so later, Niko was shaking his hands dry and exiting the bathroom when he saw Pakos—more specifically, he saw Pakos in his underwear. “Wow,” he said, mostly trying to avert his eyes. “You sure like to get comfortable when you’re at home.”

“What?” Pakos turned to regard him, staring down with surprising intensity. “Why are your clothes still on? We doing this or what?”

“Doing...this?”

“What are you, twelve? Do I gotta spell it out? This was your idea.”

Niko’s ears turned bright red. “O-oh, oh. Wait. Hold on.” He found himself overwhelmed. He had wanted to get to know Pakos better, but this…

“The fuck do you mean hold on? Take off your pants and get over here.”

Niko hadn’t thought he could blush deeper, but somehow, it happened. “W-wait. Pakos, man, I think you uh, I think you misunderstood. I wanted to come hang out, yeah, but this is...not what I was implying.”

“Implying? You literally asked me to take you home. And here we are. It doesn’t get any more blatant than that.”

“I-I just meant we should hang out more, like, one on one! Get to know each other better now that we’re in person. I mean, maybe I could see something like this somewhere down the line, but not yet!”

The look Pakos gave him was chilling. “You’ve been flirting all day, and you as good as asked me if I wanted to fuck, and now it’s all a misunderstanding? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

Niko sighed. “It really was. Pakos, I like you. A lot. And I could see us being...intimate, sometime in the future. But I’m not ready for that. It’s too much. I only know the Pakos online. I want to get to know the real you.”

There was a tense silence. “Fine. That’s cool, I guess. But I’m tired as fuck. I’m going to sleep.” He sat at the edge of the bed, then held his paw out. “Is sleeping on the pillow next to me too much for you?”

“N-no.” Niko stepped forward, and allowed himself to be lifted up and set on the pillow. Pakos quickly turned out the light and lay down, and seemed to fall asleep within minutes. But Niko found himself staring at the ceiling long into the night.

What have I gotten myself into?