I've found it hard to eat recently. Besides the pork roast I had with Sean, I haven't had much of an appetite for anything. I've lost quite a bit of weight, evident by my rapidly thinning frame. I haven't been sleeping well, either. Despite this, I've been giving my best efforts to stay strong. I truly believe Sean and I will get through this.

When Sean fell asleep during the evening I decided for the first time in a while to try driving again. I had been walking or using public transport to get from place to place, but I knew that I couldn't just avoid driving forever. We had taken Liz's car that night, so I was able to use mine. I went out to the driveway and entered my vehicle. I put the keys into the ignition, slowly turning it until I could hear the hum of the engine. Taking a deep breath, I shifted the gear into reverse and backed out of the driveway.

Deciding I would get off to a slow start, I drove through my neighborhood streets at a low speed. The car methodically made its way down the road, and I eased up a little. I was getting comfortable driving again. Mustering up a little more courage, I turned onto a public road, so I could practice driving among other vehicles again.

My hands started to tremble, so I gripped the wheel tightly. I turned on my hazard lights. I needed to pace myself and keep my cool. I applied a little more pressure to the accelerator. My body stiffened as the car picked up speed, and I responded by slowing my breathing. Doing so allowed me to loosen my body, and I pressed down on the accelerator even harder.

I lowered the windows and felt the wind blow against my face. Horns beeped all around me. The noise of chattering pedestrians and restaurant music was omnipresent. I remembered the feeling of driving down the road at night in my car. The way the breeze flowed through my hair, the way the paved roads felt underneath my tire. As I looked into my rearview mirror, I almost thought my eyes were betraying me. I was smiling. Not just a smirk, but a full-on grin. I released my grip on the wheel and simply drove.

For miles I traveled, not having a care in the world. Oh, how I missed cruising along towards the horizon. That liberating feeling coated me in pure bliss. As darkness enveloped the environment, I flicked on my headlights. Peering into the night sky, I saw the millions of stars sparkling above. Momentarily pausing to appreciate the serene view, my attention was drawn to an alternative source of light ahead of me. The headlights of another vehicle rapidly approached.

I defaulted back to clutching the wheel. Those lights... They flooded my vision just as memories flooded my mind. Remembering to be calm, I once more inhaled a surplus of oxygen, letting it stir in my stomach before a prolonged exhale exited my nose. For a moment, the light covered my entire vehicle. In a split second, it was over. I observed my rearview mirror once more, watching the car travel down the road behind me. Pulling onto the shoulder, I put the car into park and leaned back into the seat. I let out an audible sigh of relief, followed by a single sentence.

"I did it."