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"Hey baby"

She sets her phone down, "Hey"

"How's the trip" I ask

My door suddenly opens, "Enzo he's not letting me use the computer"

"Stop being a pussy Matty, Enzo can't solve everything!" Santiago calls out from downstairs

I roll my eyes before giving him my laptop, "Now go away"

He takes it happily before running out, "What happened" Sienna says amused

I look back at the phone. "My brothers, sorry you were saying?"

"Well we were having a party but we had to run out of the main house because of Cadell"

Typical seventeen year olds

"You cheated on me yet?" I ask as she wipes off her makeup

"Yes, I've fucked a lot of guys in the space of twenty four hours"

I snort, "I miss you" She then says

"I miss you too"

I then sigh, "How's my sister"

She frowns, "Zo and I came to Aaron's bunk after leaving the party but I haven't seen Carmen yet, she's probably wasted"

"Has she at least been happy?"

"It's hard to say" Sienna replies

I narrow my eyes, "Why?"

"Carmens a closed off person, yeah she'll tell me and Zo everything but if somethings really bothering her then she'll keep it to herself.... She doesn't like trusting other people. It's clearly a trait she picked up after June stupidly decided to dump her as a friend"

I don't think it's ever been explained to me in this way, but I never really thought that Carmen would still be hurting after she and June stopped talking to each other

-

Got rid of my makeup, changed into another pair of clothes and I've pretty much been crying in bed ever since.... Pathetic I know. I've never felt so defeated, especially by Eliza. I think it's definitely ok for me to confirm that she's the spawn of Satan, only someone so evil would do something as cruel as her.

"Carmen" A soft voice says

I freeze as the person sits down opposite me on the floor. The brunette that left me months ago is now trying to comfort me, I don't know how to feel. "What happened" June asks quietly

I keep staring at the wall as she rests her hand on mine, "You can tell me"

"She's gonna ruin my life" I finally whisper before sniffing

She frowns, "Who Eliza?"

"What did she say to you?"

I just pull the comforter up to my chin, I'd rather not go over how she basically called me an anorexic and a bulimic whore. "Carmen you can tell me" June says softly

"Why would I trust the girl who left me for a complete whore" I frown quietly

She sighs before getting up, honestly that was rude of me to say but it's the truth. I hear her footsteps descend before the door to the cabin closes.

-

Carmen hasn't been this low since fourteen and I'm a little worried. She prefers not to cry in front of other people because she thinks she'll look vulnerable, so if she was really crying now then that means Eliza must've done something really bad. I walk up a few steps before knocking on a cabin door, it's opened by Dylan. "June" He says surprised

I look past him, "Hey um.... is Zoe or Sienna here?"

He looks back into the house, "Zo, Si!"

"What!" They both call back

"Junes here for you!"

Zoe narrows her eyes as she comes towards the door and Sienna frowns. I look back at Dylan and he nods slowly, "I know when I'm not wanted" He walks back into the cabin before shutting the door behind him

Zoe folds her arms as I tuck a hair behind my ear, "Look I know you guys probably hate me, and rightfully so"

Sienna gets straight to the point, "What do you want"

"Um it's about Carmen....-

"Where is she, is she with Carter?"

I shake my head and they both frown at each other, "She's at you guy's cabin and she's really upset"

"How come?" Sienna asks me

"I tried asking her but she won't tell me anything..... all I know is that it involves Eliza"

"Eliza?" They both say confused

I nod as Zoe looks back at her, "Let's go back"

I take that as my cue to leave, I may not be able to help Carmen but hopefully these two can.

-

So June obviously left but I know that she went to get Zoe and Sienna, thus why they're sitting in front of me right now trying to figure out what Eliza could've done. "Did she threaten you?" Zoe tries

"No" I whisper

"What did you guys argue about?" Sienna asks softly, I just stare at the wall

"This is fucked up" Zoe scoffs at her

"And that's exactly why I'm not about sit by and do nothing-

"Don't go up to her" I say almost too quickly

They both look at me, "Why not?"

"Because everything's fine"

"Clearly not C, your crying" Zoe says annoyed

I understand why they're annoyed, I do. But this is my issue and Eliza asked for something small, so I'm gonna do it. "I just need sleep, I'm fine"

They look at each other unconvinced, I'd love nothing more than to tell them what really happened but I can't risk Eliza exposing me. All I have to do is stay away from Carter which should be easy since we're not talking right now anyway.

Later in the evening Cadell came round to everyone's cabins and said that nobody was allowed to leave due to the fact that we didn't follow the rules and we partied. Whatever activities the teachers had planned for us were cancelled, which is fine by me since I don't want to move anyway. Lights had to be out at 8:30, in other words.... This trip was a waste of time and 130$.

The morning came quickly and I still remained quiet, I can tell my best friends are worried but they're choosing not to say anything. I got changed in the bathroom this morning and weirdly, not once did I take a glance at myself in the mirror. Since it's a little windy today I've resorted to the number one outfit that I always go with when not in the brightest of moods -oversized clothes-.I can't wait to leave this dreadful place...

-

"He's pretty for sure" Macey says amused

"Yeah but June already called dibs" Eliza replies

I've been leaning on the doorframe for the past couple of minutes, thinking. Carmen may not want to tell me what happened but I can't help but think about how she was right, I was a complete idiot for deciding to stop being friends with her. "Isn't that right Junie?" Eliza looks back at me amused

I look up, "Hmm?"

"Logan?"

"Oh right, yeah"

"You ok?" Macey asks

I sit down on Eliza's bed, "Yeah I was just thinking about the party yesterday"

She scrolls through her phone, "That was the highlight of the day"

I look back at Eliza, "You left a little early, where did you go?" I question

She closes her compact mirror, "Back to our room, I needed the bathroom and I was not about to use the one up at the main house" She says with disgust

"That's funny, I saw you outside....With Carmen"

She doesn't even look rattled, "That whore speaks to anyone when she's drunk" Eliza mutters

"She's not a whore"

Eliza narrows her eyes at me, "Why are you defending her?"

"Why was she crying?"

"Have you been speaking to her?"

"Yeah I have actually, but she's not telling me anything which is why I'm asking you what happened" I say annoyed

"She was drunk, she's obviously not gonna remember anything" Eliza snorts

She keeps dodging the question and it's pissing me off, "Eliza" I say seriously

"It was just her bragging about Carter and I told her it wouldn't last, then she cried and walked away" She shrugs

I believe that it involves Carter, but if Eliza thinks for one second that I believe she's the victim in all of this then she's more delusional than I thought

-

I haven't spoken to Carmen since Friday, I'd say that it's not bothering me but it is. Maybe I shouldn't have suggested that she tell her family, I'm just worried about her

It's only now that I realised she took a photo of us when were on the coach two days ago, I was asleep and she had her tongue stuck out. It might just be my new favourite picture

Speaking of Carmen, we've all gotten on the coach and this time I'm sat with Aaron. I spot her walking along the aisle with her hood on, she looks miserable as hell. I'm hoping its not because of me, however when I notice the sympathetic look that June just gave her, or the concerned looks that Sienna and Zoe have given I realise that maybe it's something else. Aaron and I frown at each other as Carmen sits towards the back by herself, she lays against the window before closing her eyes.

Somethings definitely up

I look across at Zoe and and Sienna, "What's going on?"

Zoe sighs, "You'd have to ask Carmen"

"Or June" Sienna says

June?

I frown as I sit back

Aaron sits back, "Have you spoken to her since-

"No but I will when we get back"

We both look over, "What do you think happened"

"No clue" He gets up from his seat before heading over to the back and taking the seat besides Carmen, Zoe pauses from her conversation with Sienna to watch

I couldn't quite catch what was being said, but I know that Aaron did most of the talking. C didn't even look at him as she uttered her responses, "If anything I'm sorry for giving you the edibles" I then hear him say softly

She finally looks at him, still with that miserable look in her eyes

"Have you got any more?"

He frowns as he looks at Zoe and I, I narrow my eyes. "Uhhhh no"

Carmen goes back to resting her head against the window without any responses given and Aaron sighs with defeat before coming back over, "Thank you" Zoe mouths at him

He gives a soft smile before sitting down

"I think it's me" I say whilst looking down

"Nah this is something else"

"Like what?"

"I don't know man, but something tells me this involves a lot more people"

I don't miss how he stares at a certain brunette with annoyance and suspicion, honestly I don't even know what to think anymore.

But I doubt that June has anything to do with this

-

I didn't miss the looks that my friends or my ex best friend were giving me during the ride back home, I slept for most part of the journey. Then finally after an hour, we all got out and collected our bags. I'm absolutely exhausted and I can't wait to go home and sleep, "C" Carter says from behind me

At first maybe I thought I could play it off like I didn't hear him but then I heard him run towards me, "Carmen" He says, softer this time

Don't get me wrong I love looking at that face of his, but somehow today I just can't. "Why won't you look at me?"

I sigh as I finally do, he narrows his eyes. "Hey did something happen?"

"No I'm just tired"

"I can tell when your lying"

"Carter I don't have time for this"

"I just-

I take a look behind him and watch as Eliza pauses from her conversation to look at me, "I've gotta go" I say quietly

He takes my arm as I turn to leave, "Carmen"

All I can think about is that Instagram post waiting to be exposed, I breath shakily. "Please.... Let go Carter"

He finally does as I ask and I walk away before going over to Zoe's car, she watches as I put my bags in the backseat. "You know I'm always here when you wanna talk right?" She says softly

I look at her before nodding and she pulls me in for a hug, one that I didn't know I needed.

-

I was quiet during the ride home, I had my arm leaned against the window as I mentally counted every street lamp that we passed by. Zoe understood that I didn't want to talk so she didn't pressure me into saying anything thankfully.

It was pretty much just me alone with my thoughts, but luckily I was saved from going deeper into my mind when Zoe pulled into park.

She turns to face me, "You gonna come to school Monday?"

I open the door, "I don't know"

I take my bags from the back seat before walking up the porch steps of my house, dads probably waiting behind the door. But honestly I'm ready for all the shouting and the telling off, I deserve it.

As I step into the house everybody goes completely silent, my mother shakes her head before continuing to chop up onions, Matty just watches me from the island with Daniel and Enzo. Lola, Santi and Adri are all in the living room.

Then there's dad. The one person who used to be my favourite being in the whole world, he's now turned into another member of my family that I've grown to slowly hate.

But let me just say that right now, he looks beyond pissed. "Estás mentalmente bien?"

-are you mentally ok-

I don't reply, "Two days Carmen! No phone call, no text. Debes pensar que puedes hacer lo que quieras"

-you must think that you can do whatever you want-

You can tell he's really mad by the fact that he keeps switching between Spanish and English, every one of my siblings are listening. "That trip better have been worth it" Mom says from the kitchen, I don't even look back at her. I want this to be over with so I can go upstairs and sleep

"Dame tu telèfono" Dad demands

Enzo raises his eyebrows because he knows that dad has never taken my phone before.

"I'm serious"

It's dead anyway

I reach into my pocket before handing it over and he takes it, "You go to school, you go to work and that's it"

Oh yay I get to keep going to school

Adriana and Santiago watch as I walk passed them and head up the stairs, "She's brave for coming back, I'll give her that" My mother mutters

Fuck you Isabella

I'm starting to wonder if I have a heart because right now, I feel nothing. I guess there's only so much hurt that a person can take, eventually you just don't feel anything from the comments being thrown at you. I tried sleeping but that didn't work, instead I ended up staring at the wall for god knows how long. Im wishing that my dad could just see that I'm hurting, see that the whole trip was a waste of time and something happened, understand that his daughter is not as confident as he thinks, know that she's sorry for not being the good little girl that he thought she always was.

The weight of my mattress goes down and I wished that it was him even though I knew it wasn't, I'm familiar with all of my siblings' scent.

"Was it fun at least?"

I look up to avoid crying, "I hear you guys had a party" Enzo then says

Still I don't talk, "Sienna says you were upset this morning" He says quietly

"I'm fine" I finally whisper

"But if things weren't ok then you'd tell me....Right?"

I look back at my brother before nodding, "Is everything ok with you and Carter?" He then asks

No

"Everything's fine"

"I hope he's not the problem C, I don't know what he was doing but every time I'd see you with him-.... Shit you actually looked happy"

Enzo you're going to make me cry

"And I know how mom is, I didn't mean to say what I said back at the hospital. I see it now ok?.... I promise" he says quietly

Finally, one sibling has opened their eyes. I didn't expect it to be Enzo of all people but I'm glad that he's aware of how our mother acts towards me.

I sit up before hugging my brother, my god he smells of weed, he hugs me back, "You feel really light" He says surprised

Trust me Lorenzo.... I'm well aware

"I think I'm gonna sleep" I mumble

He pulls away, "Come down soon though ok?"

I sigh, "No promises"

Enzo gets up before walking out of the room and I pull the comforter over me before closing my eyes and letting the tiredness take over

Hopefully the darknesses consumes me

😭