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I had absolutely nothing to do on Saturday or Sunday except for binging a bunch of random shit on Netflix. That's my weekend summed up, literally

It's Monday now and since I'm not allowed to go anywhere without my dad taking me I've resorted to doing sit ups in my room. Exercising is probably something I haven't done in awhile and I think I would've gone crazy if I didn't at least do something. Yeah I'm pretty sure I could've gone to the gym but I don't like the idea of my dad sitting in the car park waiting for me.

I'm being forced to go to school despite how tired I'm feeling, todays another lazy day: ripped jeans, hair out and a baggy sweater, I feel a lot better when I wear clothes that are big for me.... It makes me feel skinnier

I sit at the island with my head rested against the surface, if it were up to me I would've left a long time ago but my dad has taken it upon himself to drive me to school. He's dropping Matteo and Santiago too so we're waiting for them to hurry their slow asses up

Finally after what felt like years it was time to go, "Let's go mi hija"

I trail behind the three of them as we leave the house, Matty runs towards the car. "Hurry up dad!"

He chuckles before unlocking the doors, "Wanna sit at the front?" Santiago asks me

I open the back door before sitting down and resting my head against the window. In the last twenty four hours the only thing I've had is a bowl of cereal, so yeah I'm exhausted. Dad looks back, "Where's your bag" He asks me

"I don't need it" I mutter

He sighs before starting the engine and pulling out of the driveway, I could sense Santiago glancing back at me every now and then but I was too tired to even comment on it. We dropped Matty to school and then reached ours five minutes after, "I don't want any phone calls about you" Dad warns

Santi takes off his seatbelt, "Yeah yeah"

I open my door and he looks back at me, "Straight home with Enzo"

I shut the door behind me before following my brother towards the building, I then stop and Santiago frowns as he looks back at me. I watch as our dad drives out of the parking lot before turning away.

"Carmen"

If Santi thinks I'm going into that building then he's just as delusional as the next man. He grabs my arm, "C wait-

"Get off" I say seriously

He raises his hands with surrender, "I just...-

"Just what?" I scoff

He looks down guiltily, "I wanna apologise-

"If your expecting me to smile and say that I forgive you then let me tell you now, that's not what's about to happen"

"I know" He says quietly

"Just pretend I don't exist like you've been doing for the past few days" He frowns as I walk away

-

I don't know the time, I don't know how long it's been, but I know it's been awhile. After ditching school I decided to go to the park since I don't exactly have anywhere else to go to, I've been sat on the swings for god knows how long and I'm pretty sure I fell asleep at one point.

I play with the pink scrunchie on my wrist as I slowly push off on the swing. To sum up everything I've thought about is pretty simple, I thought about my conversation with Eliza on Thursday, the fact that I'm having to stay away from Carter too and also how he'll probably be the one to end up telling Zoe and June my secret.

"Carmen?"

I turn around before half smiling, "Hey Gracie"

She runs over to me before wrapping her arms around my waist and I hug her back before lifting her up to sit on my lap. She slides her legs through so that they're hanging down on the other side of me, "Why didn't you look after me?"

"I was on a school trip"

"With Carter?"

I nod, "Are you watching me today?" She then asks

"Of course" I smile as I swing us back and forth

"Carmen?" A surprised voice says

Melissa comes into view, I can tell she must've had an early meeting by her attire, she's got on a white top with a white blazer, a crème coloured pair of trousers plus heels and a purse to finish off her look

"Hey" I say awkwardly

She frowns as she takes her shades off, "Why aren't you in school?"

Grace looks back at me curiously, "I don't think that schools the best place for me to be right now" I say hesitantly

She gestures for us to get off the swing, "You look pale honey, let's get you something to eat"

I get up before taking Grace's hand and the three of us leave the park

-

I don't know what's going on, she won't answer my calls or my texts. And it turns out the same things happening with Zoe, "I texted her five times yesterday"

And she's not even here so that makes it even more concerning, "Santi"

He stops after Zoe calls him, "Yeah?"

"What's going on with your sister?" I ask

He sighs, "Honestly.... I don't know. She's only been talking to Enzo and Matty"

"Why isn't she answering her phone?"

"Dad took it"

Zoe frowns, "How come?"

"She didn't tell anyone about the trip" Santiago replies before walking away

This is so fucked up

"You know what I might just go over to her house"

I narrow my eyes at a certain brunette as she types away on her phone, somehow I think she knows more than she's letting on

"Anyway, see you at lunch"

I wave at Zoe before making my way over to the lockers, "June"

She picks up her bag before turning around, "Carter" She says surprised

"What was wrong with Carmen at the trip?" I ask

She sighs, "Look I don't know"

I call bullshit

"But apparently your the one who got to speak with her" I can tell she doesn't wanna get caught in the middle of this, but she should've thought about that before she decided to speak with Carmen

June looks around before walking towards an empty classroom and gesturing for me to follow. Why is it so hard for her to speak in the hallway?

I close the door behind me before looking at her expectantly, "I don't know whats been going on but I know it involves Eliza"

I frown, "What?"

"I saw them speaking whilst we had that party at the main house, then Carmen walked away looking upset and defeated"

Defeated?...

"Obviously I asked Eliza what had happened but she lied to my face. She said that Carmen was just drunk and she was bragging about you"

Doesn't sound like C

"But what about when you spoke to Carmen"

She shrugs, "The only words that she said to me were she's gonna ruin my life"

I narrow my eyes, "As in Eliza?"

June nods, "Now I don't know what the fuck she has against her but I've been trying to find out"

"I can ask Carmen later"

"Whatever you do, don't say anything to Eliza. Sienna wanted to already but Carmen practically begged her not to, it'll make things worse"

"I won't say anything..... for now"

-

I smile as Grace dips one of her nuggets in ketchup before eating it, I love seeing her get excited over food. The only thing I ordered was a coke, Melissa tried to get me to order food but I insisted on just a drink....it's better than nothing I guess.

She brings me out of my thoughts, "So what's the real reason your not in school"

I sigh, "Just... Drama"

"It doesn't involve Carter does it?" She asks wearily

I shake my head, "No it doesn't really involve any guys"

Who knew lying could be so easy

"Have you been threatened?"

"No I actually could've gone to school, it's just I didn't see any point" I say truthfully

Relief settles in her, "I do hope your ok to work today, Grace wouldn't stop asking about you to Julia" She says amused

I half smile, "I will be"

I twirl my straw around the ice cubes, "Honey why don't you get yourself some crayons" Melissa says softly

There's a little table by the window where little kids can get drawing books for free, she'd still be in our eye line so we can keep an eye on her. "Be careful" I say as Grace slides out of the booth

I do wonder why Melissa sent her away, "One thing I've noticed about you Carmen is that you don't always say what's on your mind"

Well damn

I play with my hands a little, "When your ready" She nods

I sigh as I play with the scrunchie that Grace gave me, "I just think....- I don't know, I feel like I should resign from this job. And it's not because of Grace because man I love that six year old. It's me, I'm unorganised, my life's a mess. I mean god, my dad took my phone away from me for the first time ever because I didn't tell him about the camping trip, I'm just in a weird place and I don't think i'm the only one seeing the problem here" I let out

Melissa doesn't reply for a moment, but then she nods slowly. The silence was so loud and I sat there waiting for her to say something back.

Fially after another second she spoke, "I don't accept your resignation"

What in the uno reverse...

I frown as she drinks from her cup of coffee, "What?... you heard everything I said right"

"I heard every word Carmen, I just don't accept your resignation" She says amused

I sit back helplessly, "Why?" I ask quietly

She turns her head, gesturing for me to look with her. "What do you see"

I frown, "Grace"

Melissa turns back round to face me, "That child has never spoken more than a hundred words in one day"

"Until you started babysitting her"

I focus on the ice cubes in my glass, "You know what the first thing she said to me was after the first day you looked after her?"

I shake my head. "She said mommy I want to talk to her"

I already told myself I'm not crying, "She had Julia show her what she could do to make sure you knew that she liked you as a babysitter"

Suddenly my vision is blurry, "And so Julia told her to smile and try to draw images"

I remember the first picture that Grace drew for me, "We've all got shit to deal with Carmen, but it's how we choose to handle it that matters the most"

I sniff, "No offence but I don't think I've had that much of an impact on your lives" I mumble

"You don't see it but we all do. I don't know what it is that you've said to my son but he hates me much less than he used to.... And for that I'm grateful"

And cue the tears, "Call me selfish Carmen, but we really do need you" Melissa says softly

I wipe my eyes, "And if that lecture wasn't enough then I don't know what else to tell you"

I laugh a little before sniffing, "I'll stay" I say quietly

She smiles, "As I thought"

I smile a little, "Now why don't you come back home with Grace and I"

"Oh I would but my dad thinks I'm at school and he's-

Melissa waves me off, "Don't worry about it. I'll call him at 3:30 and tell him that I asked you to come early"

What a big relief

-

She was on the phone with him for quite awhile actually, I was wondering what was taking so long.... I swear I even heard her laugh too. But then eventually she ends the call, "Your father is a funny man" She says amused

"Did he sound mad?"

She shakes her head, "Just make sure that you get home as soon as your done putting Grace to bed"

I sigh, "Alright-

"I mean it Carmen, I don't want you to keep getting yourself into trouble" She says seriously

I nod, "I will-.... Grace come on let's paint" I cover the table so that we don't get any mess on it and Melissa smiles before walking back into her office.