"Was bittersweet to say the least

One life begins, one comes undone"

✦

"So do you live alone?" Harry was still ahead of me, leading me up the stairs and to a very un-lived in bathroom.

"Um, no." I live with my husband. Why didn't I tell him? Why didn't I want to tell him?

He left the door open when he walked in and then plopped down on the toilet seat.

I caught my reflection for a moment. The hair peaking under the towel around my forehead was a mess of frizzy baby curls and my face had a slight sheen to it. I frowned at my bloodshot eyes and the irritated pink skin under them; unlike my red nose, it was obvious the rain wasn't the only source of discomfort. I tried to be as discreet in my self check as possible, not wanting to come off as self absorbed or something.

"You can take a shower if you'd like, it hasn't been used," he offered.

"Oh no, it's okay—I mean I pretty much just took one, right?" I internally face palmed at whatever attempt at a joke that was.

When I looked up from my feet I found Harry with a tiny smile on his face, his teeth shyly peeking through his lips.

He ran his fingers through his hair and drummed his others on the toilet seat in no particular order. "I guess so."

Neither of us said anything for a beat of time.

He cleared his throat. "Let me go grab some clothes for you—"

"It's really fine, I'm fine." My hands subconsciously started to wave in front of me.

"Don't sweat it, I'll just grab some of my girlfriend's pajamas. And before you say anything, she won't mind, trust me." Oh right, Rose.

Before I could protest further he scurried past me and into the dark hall. I sighed and leaned my back against the counter, not wanting to see myself anymore.

The sound of his knuckles rapping against the wood of the threshold snapped me out of my mindless droning. His smile faltered when I faced him.

He put the stack of clothes on the counter beside me. "Here." While pivoting around he paused, but quickly recovered, closing the door with his exit.

Rose's clothes were a bit tight, but not unmanageably so. She was quite thin and frail based off the foggy image I had of her. Petite, like she could just blow away into the wind.

The cotton tee and joggers only slightly hugged my chest and thighs. After changing I threw my soaked clothes in the tub and unraveled the towel from my hair and let it fall in a damp chaotic manner down my shoulders.

I was nibbling on my bottom lip when I opened the door back up with a creek. The towel awkwardly hung off my forearm.

There was a neon pink sticky note plastered onto the wall in front of me. It read, come downstairs. Kind of odd, but I went down anyways.

Harry was sprawled on a sheet-less mattress in what would be the living room. It was the lone piece of furniture in the room and a couple blankets were strewn across it.

He sat up once my footsteps neared. "I felt a bit like a weirdo waiting outside the door, so I came down here," he explained. "Everything fit okay?" He eyes did a once-over of my body.

I slid my bottom lip out from under my teeth and nodded.

His hand patted down beside him. "Only spot in the house."

"I can see that," I said while looking around the desolate place.

My movements to sit beside him were stiff and robotic, but Harry didn't seem to notice. His legs were laid straight out in front of him and I sat criss-cross applesauce style.

"Oh—I, uh, wasn't sure what to do with this." I raised the forgotten towel in my hands. "I can wash it if—"

I stopped when Harry ripped it from my grasp and tossed it carelessly behind him. "Don't worry about it."

"Okay," I peeped. "My stuff's in the bath, since it's all wet, if you don't mind."

He shook his head a little in what seemed to be disbelief. "So, Evdoxia," he pronounced my name slowly, accentuating and stretching each syllable. "Or shall I say the thrower of rocks?" One of his eyebrows shot up and the dimples in his cheeks came out from hiding.

I felt my cheeks heat up and I couldn't help the groan that made its way out of my throat.

"Sorry 'bout that," I apologized, scrunching up my nose.

"Am I really that bad of a singer?" He joked and mocked offense, easing his way into breaking the ice.

I resisted the urge to splatter onto my back in embarrassment. "No, it's not that..." I racked my brain for an excuse, "I just really don't like that song." Playing with a loose string on the bottom of Rose's shirt, I tried not to tug it hard enough to unravel the seam.

"You are so beautiful," he said, catching me off guard.

"What?" I sputtered out.

"The name of the song I was humming, by Joe Cocker."

"Oh right, yeah. Duh... sorry," I apologized sheepishly. "Where's your dog? Bear, I think you said."

His quiet chuckle made it obvious how painfully aware he was at my desperate topic change.

"Not sure." He rubbed his chin and then let out a low whistle. The scratching sound of claws hitting the floor gradually amplified. "There he is," Harry bubbled and grinned when low and behold, Bear strutted into the room.

The hefty dog plodded over and leisurely dropped right in between us on the bed. His massive body spanned across the entire length, creating quite the border. Harry laughed and I awed at the dog's antics. I began to stroke his fur.

"You know, when you called out his name, I thought you were warning me of the actual animal," I tittered just to say something.

His teeth grew more exposed, causing a slight crinkle in the skin by his eyes. "What were you doing out there anyways?"

"Well, I just heard his crying and came out since it didn't stop after a while."

"Thanks, for comforting him I mean."

"It's nothin," I dismissed.

"Are you painting your house?" He really was not letting that night go.

"Something like that," I shrugged. "What are doing humming in the street at night?" I hadn't thought about how strange that was until now.

"Stargazing."

My free hand that wasn't draped across Bear was tangled in a blanket, swirling the fabric around. "Astronomer?"

"Something like that," he shrugged.

"...When'd you move in?"

"This past week. Hopefully I'll be getting some actual furniture soon."

How had I been so oblivious to people moving in right next door?

"Yeah..." This small talk was uncomfortable, but I didn't know what to say and I don't think he did either. Maybe he wanted me to leave but felt too bad to ask. And I didn't want him to think there's something wrong with his company so I didn't want to say anything either.

We both sighed at the same time, gazing around the dimly lit space as if there was something interesting to look at like us, Bear, and the mattress weren't the only things here.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out suddenly without a second thought.

"Why are you apologizing?" He tsked.

I tucked stray strands behind my ear and pondered over how to answer because I didn't completely know what to say myself. "I don't know."

"You do that a lot, don't you?"

My ring finger's cuticle was burning and bleeding. "What?"

"Apologize for things out of your control; things unnecessary to apologize for." He stated his thought as if pointing out the time, affirmative and matter of factly.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "I don't think so," I said meekly.

His smile was wry and he loudly exhaled through his nose. He didn't move a muscle, only his eyes which seemed to be trying to meddle into my brain to read my jumbled thoughts.

"I don't want to be anymore of a hassle, I should go home... I'm sure moving has been tiring." I shifted to stand up and he did the same. "I'll just go grab my clothes." I speed walked away to escape the tangible tension; it hung in the atmosphere, making the air feel more solid than gas.

I met back with Harry at the front door, holding sopping fabric.

"Thanks again," I murmured before slipping outside. Harry didn't say anything.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

I woke up in cold water.

After I left Harry's I had to go through my muddy backyard to get back inside cause I hadn't taken a key to the front door with me. It was drizzling and my feet were dirty again.

When I got inside I went to go take a shower. I passed Matt crunched up snoring on the sofa on my way. Previously, I would have stifled a laugh at the tall man awkwardly curled to squeeze between the armrests of the couch, but now it was just sad; a reminder of the void on the right side of the bed where a synchronized heartbeat had once lay.

I was taken aback when I saw him asleep in the living room—not out of shock for where he decided to rest, but out of shock for the innocence disguising him in that state. It was the most childlike and young he had looked in weeks. His lips weren't locked in a frown, his eyes weren't rolling, his light hair was tussled up, he just didn't look stressed. He looked serene and content, like he used to everyday.

The only difference was his finger. Instead of the stripe of a silver band, the stripe of a fading tan line wrapped around his ring finger. His left hand hung over the back of the couch as if he'd gone to bed with the purpose of me seeing it.

I sharply inhaled and then went upstairs. Once I finished rinsing off my feet, I sunk into a warm bath. With how rigid I had been it seemed as if it was ice cold.

Then it was the next morning. The sound of my teeth chattering functioned as an alarm. I'd fallen asleep enveloped in heat only to wake up arrested by the cold. My skin was pruny, my body violently shivered, and I knew my lips were stamped blue.

When I woke up I leaned up, clutching the edges of the tub so hard my knuckles were white, and stared into my disfigured reflection from the faucet. I looked monstrous and ghastly, all my pallor features sunken in and rotting.

Besides the jerky trembles ricocheting through me, I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. The icy temperature of the air only worsened my condition, but I couldn't move.

Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt.

I heard the front door shut and shot out of the bath. Throwing on an old terrycloth robe, I didn't mind the dripping tips of my hair or the dripping water down my legs and on my feet as I sprinted down the stairs and to the door. He was reversing out of the driveway when I swung it open.

My feet were rested in a puddle. Matt's hair was styled and gelled. My lip was between my teeth. Matt's face was in a scowl.

His countenance eased once the tires hit the street and he was off the property.

"Hey!" A voice shouted.

My attention didn't leave the SUV until it turned the corner and was out of sight.

Then I noticed Harry stood on the sidewalk. The ringlets on his head were especially prominent that morning, in addition to his grin. His beaming rivaled the sun, bright and almost alarmingly so.

He held a leash attached to Bear who tugged on it in impatience. His other hand was busy waving at me.

I waved back feebly and began to enclose myself back inside but he stopped me before I could.

"Wait!" He hollered. At this point Bear had given up and slumped down on the ground lazily so Harry's grip on the leash loosened.

I opened the door more but didn't say anything. I just waited.

"Wanna come with me?"

We both spoke with raised voices. It kind of mirrored the situation we had been in last night, except the sky was cerulean and cloudless, and Harry was outside with the dog instead of me.

In both scenarios I was somehow wet.

"Where?" I inquired, nervous at the idea of spending more alone time with him.

He smirked. "Not sure, wherever this guy takes us," he motioned to the large dark lump of fur.

"I'm in a robe." And I had no shoes. And I looked like a corpse.

His dimples appeared. "I can wait."

"Okay." I wasn't sure if he heard me, but I shuffled back inside to put on the appropriate attire.

I'd just have to see if he did.

⇢ ⇢ ⇢

I like this chapter solely

because of how much Harry

is in it plus Bear tbh.

things are kickin off ;)

thanks for readinggg

peace out ☺