i suppose

i love my scars

because

they have

stayed with me

longer

than most people

have

~ nikita gill

you wake up to the feeling of kisses all over your face, you open your eyes and see spencer hovering over you with a big smile on his face.

"well good morning" you say smiling at him

"good morning beautiful" he whispers before giving you a small peck. he rolls over on your bed to lay on his side, he looks at you and smiles. "how did i get so lucky to have you" he admits as he strokes your cheek.

it had been two months since the night spencer came to your house crying, ever since then you both had been spending a lot of time together. spencer would come over after cases and you guys would do pretty much everything, but have sex, you both weren't ready for that or at least you didn't know if he was.

when it came to sex you never wanted to push anyone and you could tell that he didn't want to either, sometime times the sexual tension was unbearable but you guys never pushed it.

"i'm lucky to have you, i have never met anyone like you spencer reid" you whisper. he moves to kiss you, his lips brushing yours softly.

"what do you want y/n" he asks softly "tell me what you want"

"you spencer, i want you" you say softly looking into his eyes.

with that he kisses you, the kiss is slow and passionate. your body feels like it is on fire as his lips move against yours, just like every other time he kisses you.

as he kissed you he moves from beside you to on top of you, he moves his hands to the hem of your shirt but doesn't pull it up. he breaks the kiss to look at you in your eyes, his facial expression soft yet concerned.

"are you sure y/n" he asks softly, looking into your eyes

"i've never been more sure spencer" you say smiling at him. with that he takes your shirt off and throws it across the room leaving you in your lace bralette and white silk shorts.

you see his eyes rake down your body, admiring mark, scar, crevice, and curve he sees. you know he's going to remember this forever and that scares you a little.

"god you are beautiful" he says breathily before his lips meet yours again.

after a minute he breaks the kiss to move down to your neck, leaving small hickeys in his wake. once he reaches your bralette he reaches behind your back and unclips it, throwing your bra across the room.

he attaches his mouth to your right nipple and swirls his tongue around it, pleasure rushing through your veins. as he continues to suck and bite on your nipple he takes the other one in between his fingers, pulling and rolling it. once he's finished he shows the other one the same amount of attention.

he kisses his was down your body but stops once notices the scar on your lower abdomen. he doesn't say anything or ask any questions he just kisses it before kissing his way down the rest of your body.

once he reached the hem of your shorts he looks up at you asking for permission, you nod giving him permission. he pulls both your pants and underwear off throwing them across the room, he opens your legs and lets out a breathy groan at the sight of your wet pussy.

he moves his head down i between you legs and licks a thick stripe of your pussy, you let out a small moan at the feeling of his warm tongue. he licks another stripe up your pussy before sucking your clit softly, you move your hands to his hair pulling it he gently sucks your clit.

you feel his middle and ring fingers at you entrance teasing you, you whimper as he teases your entrance with his fingers. after minute he slowly pushes his fingers in hitting your g-spot, your back arches has he starts to move his fingers in a "come here" motion.

"spence im close" you moan out.

he picks up the pace moving his fingers in and out of you as he licks an sucks at your clit. you feel your walls uncontrollably clench around his fingers as your orgasms hits you, spencer finger fucks you through your orgasm before he removes his fingers and puts them in his mouth.

you sit up and kiss him as you kiss him you can taste yourself on his lips, he moves his hands to cup your face deepening the kiss. you move you hands to the hem of his shirt pulling it off of him revealing his toned torso, you grab his face and pull him down with you as you kiss each other. you feel him laugh against your lips as he falls on top of you, his laugh is like music to your ears.

he breaks the kiss to take his pants and boxers off revealing his hard dick, you looked down and your eyes open in shock at his size he's definitely like nine to ten inches. he chuckles at your reaction before he leans down to give you a quick peck.

"we can go slow and if i'm ever hurting you please tell me" he says softly. you feel your heart flitter at his words, no one has ever been this caring or gentle with you during sex. "are you ready" he asks softly, you nod in response.

he slowly pushes into you little by little making sure you are ok each time, once he fully in he waits a minute letting you adjust to his size before he starts thrusting into you. his thrust are slow and sensual sending shivers down your spine, he leans down to kiss you muffling your moans. the kiss is passionate exactly like every other kiss you guys have shared, as he kisses you he moves once of his hands to hold yours tightly as he thrust into you.

you wrap your legs around his waist allowing him to hit your g spot each time. his thrust have stayed the same pace since you guys have started and you already feel your orgasm building, he senses it and moves his hand down to you clit switching from circle to side to side sending pleasure through your body.

as he continues to thrust into you he looks you in your eyes, squeezing your hand every so often. you have never felt so close to someone, the intimacy shared between the two of you was rare and felt irreplaceable. you feel the knot form in your stomach as he continues to work on your clit and thrust into you.

"spence im c-close" you whimper out as he pick up the pace on your clit, you feel your walls clench around his dick and your legs starts to shake slightly.

"go ahead pretty girl, come for me" he whispers into you neck before litters kisses all over your neck.

you throw your head back as your orgasm hits you, you have never had an orgasm as intense as this. you body feels like it is on fire as he continues to thrust into you, he fucks you through your orgasm reaching his as he thrust into you. as few sloppy thrusts later he reaches his orgasm letting out breathy high pitched moans as he shoots his load into you.

when he goes to pull out of you you stop him wanting him to catch his breathe after his orgasm. while he's laying on you you notice a scar on the left side of his neck and another one on his right arm, you run your finger over it feeling his breath hitch. he pulls out of you, its a little painful but not painful enough to where he could see your reaction.

he gets up and walks to your bathroom before quickly returning with a wet rag, he wipes in between your legs cleaning up the mess before walk back in the bathroom. you get up and walk into the bathroom a pee, you really don't care that he's in bathroom with you, you just really don't a uti. when you're finished you flush and was your hands, you walk back into the room and grab you t shirt and underwear and put them on.

you get in the bed an sit next to spencer hoping that you didn't upset him by touching his scar.

"spence im sorry i-" you try to apologize but he cuts you off.

"it's ok y/n, i shouldn't have reacted that way its just that these scars have been with me for so long that i sometimes forget that they are there but when i do remember it reminds me that they have been there longer than some people" he says softly

"i get it that scar that you kissed was from when i got stabbed at a club a couple of years ago, i everyone that i went to that club with stopped talking to me after that night and i have no clue why but hat scar is a reminder that in my lowest moment i had myself" you whisper looking down

"you're strong y/n, i don't know how many people could do that" he says smiling at you

"you are too spencer, you may not know it but you are i can see it you've been through a lot and each time it has made you stronger" you say looking up at him

"how did i get so lucky again" he asks making you giggle

"i guess we'll never know"

_______________________

hey heyy

i may or may not have cried writing the chapter because one soft smut is just everything and more, and the hand holding please i just hey myself writing this chapter but it's cool. i wanted to thank you guys for all of the love and support in this book, it means the absolute world to me. i really hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it

love

brielle <333