Ana

Gavin and I stood in the back of the church, both frowning down at the dark floor. The funeral was packed and I was completely shocked. For a town that hated Justin and his family so much, you wouldn't expect the whole town to come and pay their respects. I doubted half of these people had ever even said a word to Richard. But it was a small town and who would really want to miss all of the gossip at the hottest event of the season?

I wouldn't say I wasn't sad for Richard. Death is death and when it happens so suddenly, it's hard to wrap your head around. I couldn't believe he was gone and that Justin was the only one in his family left.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." I muttered over to Gavin, sliding through the line of people next to me.

I was running my hands under the faucet when one of the stall doors popped open. Emily, of all people, stepped out. It was almost comical. The last full conversation I'd had with her was in a bathroom.

"Ugh," She fluffed her hair up after washing her hands. "Funerals make me feel so empty." She sighed.

"I would have thought you had better things to do than express condolences to the town psychopath."

Emily looked down at her nails. "I'm not that heartless."

"Are you sure about that?" She didn't say a word. "It was nice of you to come." I muttered, brushing past Emily and walking back out into the church.

Justin was still standing in front of the casket. He looked awkward in his suit-the same suit he wore when we went to the dance last year. When he had the tie loosely hung around his neck and the first few buttons undone. Now, the shirt was done up to the top and if the black tie were any tighter, it'd be strangling him.

He stared down at the open casket with those dead, empty eyes. He continued staring, even when they shut it. His expression didn't change as they carried Richard through the church. I couldn't help but wonder who Justin was now and how this would change him.

--

"So the Mob huh?" Gavin mutters to me at the cemetery after we watch Richard's casket get lowered into the ground. A large group of dark-jacketed men surround the grave, paying their last respects and expressing their apologies to Justin.

I raised an eyebrow. "How do you-"

"The guy's been staying with me for the past week. We've been bonding." Gavin shrugged. "He's a good guy."

An older man walked up next to Justin, embracing him. "Justin."

"Hi Dimitri, it's good to see you again." He shook the man's hand.

"I'm so sorry for your lost. Richard was...an exceptional man."

"Yeah, he was..." Justin looked down. "Something else."

"Let's take a walk."

I watched Justin walk away with Dimitri, head bowed. His hands were shoved into his pockets, shoulders slouched.

"Yeah, he is a good guy." I said to Gavin. "He really is."

--

Justin drove me home later on that night. We were pulled outside of his house, just sitting in idle silence.

"I've been to two funerals in the last month." I stared up at the foggy sky.

He leaned his head back against his seat. "I have to go back to that house alone. I don't know how I'm going to bring myself to look through all of his things and pack them up. What am I even supposed to do with it all?"

I watched as tears filled in his eyes. He quickly raised his hands to wipe at them, angrily slamming his head back again. He was breathing heavily, like he was trying to contain his sobs. "Why is the world so cruel, Ana?"

"I wish I knew." I whispered.

"I can't be alone tonight."

I bit my lip. "Go inside." I said. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

It was well past eleven. After the burial, Gavin, Justin and I sat on Gavin's living room floor eating our way through three pizza pies. Gavin offered to let Justin stay as long as he wanted but Justin resisted for tonight. He couldn't avoid the house forever.

I'd barely seen Dad or Lisa all week. I felt guilty, yeah, really guilty. I couldn't even remember where the problem began. But now I didn't even know how to fix it.

"So do you even live here anymore?" Dad was sitting in the kitchen when I tried to quickly move up to my room. I paused, unsure what to say. "Because we've barely seen you this whole week. We've gotten a few texts, that's about it."

"Justin's uncle died, Dad. I wasn't just going to leave him alone."

"And suddenly your family didn't matter anymore?"

"He has no one, Dad. You know what, I don't have time for this." I threw my hands up, running up the stairs two at a time. But Dad didn't let up.

"What are you doing?" He asked, watching me pull a duffle bag out of my closet and fill it with clothes.

"Justin needs me, Dad. I'm sorry."

"There is no way in hell you're spending the night alone with him."

"You can't stop me."

"I don't know when you started thinking you run things around here." Dad was yelling now. Lisa opened the door across the hall, stepping out. Grams was out of her room moments later. "I've tried my hardest, Ana. I've tried to treat you like an adult and be patient but I've had enough. You've walked around here like a zombie since the moment we moved here, allowing that kid to take over your entire fucking life. I tried. I tried to do what Marie never could-"

"You mean control me like Marie never could? Well, Marie's dead."

Dad let out an exasperated breath. "You know what, Ana, do whatever you want. But if you walk out that door, don't come back."

Lisa gasped, "Paul..." Grams protested to.

I turned around, looking Dad straight in the eye. I should stay. I should continue to live in this house, going to work every day and never escaping. I should yet again be intimidated by my father, who held the fact that he took me in over my head like a threat.

I threw the bag over my shoulder. "I'm sorry I've wasted so much of your time." I said, pushing my way out into the hall and downstairs. Lisa and Grams came after me but I ignored them, shutting the front door quietly so that I didn't wake my little brother.

--

Justin left the back door open for me. He was standing in front of Richard's open bedroom when I climbed the stairs.

"I'm going to find so many things in this room that I'd never known before." He said. "And now there's no one to stop me."

"My dad just kicked me out, I think."

Justin's eye shot over to me. "What?"

I shrugged like it was nothing. "I lost control of my life such a long time ago. I don't even know how to make things right."

Justin hung his head. "My mom always told me, that when things go wrong, to always put my trust in God. But how am I supposed to believe in a God that allows all of these shitty things to keep happening."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm really tired, Justin. And you must be too. Can I have some blankets to bring downstairs?"

He looked up with furrowed brows, shaking his head. He leaned over to pick my bag up for me and then took my hand, leading me to his bedroom and shutting the door.

--

"So are you and Justin back together?" Gavin asked, helping me restock shelves at work. He handed me a pack of candy, kicking the empty cardboard box over.

"It's complicated. I don't know. I don't think a relationship is what he needs right now. But I'm not going to push him away anymore."

"What about Nate?"

"We went on that one date and I don't wanna lead him on but I really need this paycheck. Especially if I have to start paying rent. Are you sure you're really okay with me moving in?"

"I mean, I have to get rid of my workout room to make space for you but..." Gavin grinned. "Of course I'm okay with it. But are you sure you're really okay with leaving your family?"

I frowned. "I've been talking about making changes for months. I really don't want to live in that house anymore."

It was a slow evening. After Gavin left, I took my spot at the register, flipping through a magazine I grabbed from the back. I smiled politely when Nate came back with a coffee for me.

"Maybe we could grab a movie this weekend or something." He smiled, leaning against the counter towards me.

"Um, maybe. I'm in the middle of moving right now so things are a little crazy."

He nodded. "I had a lot of fun last time. I'm still thinking about it."

I forced a grin. "That's-"

"Natey!" A girl squealed from across the store. Nate turned around to face the girl before laughing and meeting her halfway to pull her into a hug, swinging her around.

"What are you doing here? I've missed you so much." Nate laughed again like he couldn't believe it. He set the girl down but she kept her hands on his shoulders, grinning up at him.

"Your Dad's in town too. He wants to come visit you tomorrow, I think. He wanted us to surprise you after he finished with his business but I just could wait to see you." She looked past Nate, directly at me. Then she looked down at my nametag and back up at me, face forming a huge smile.

"The Ana?" She squealed again, walking towards me. "The Same Ana that I've been hearing about for months?" She giggled and Nate's face turned red.

"Hi..." I said shyly, having no idea who this girl was. She was tiny and cute and Nate was beaming as he watched her move.

"Ana," He said, putting an arm around the girl's shoulders. "This is my stepsister, Gianna."

This chapter was written on my phone and wasn't edited at all so I'll probably do that next week.

I'm still in Florida visiting my mom and siblings. My brother has been really, really sick for the past year or so and I've been going through a lot trying to spend as much time as I can with him until I go back to NY so I'm sorry if I'm not online as much in the next few days.

twitter: @bugattibiebxr

ig: @supersabrinaa

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