J U S T L I K E M Y D R E A M

W O R D C O U N T:

My apologies for the mistakes. I had my exam today and I wrote this chapter in half an hour. 😘

"I love you Uzair." A smile captured and incarcerated my lips but I couldn't assimilate as to why did his body stiffen and his muscles grew tense.

At once my eyes ruptures open. I shudder and convulse at the thought of him not being Uzair. Who was I kidding. This wasn't Uzair. I had just made a death wish.

I was bewildered and nonplussed. My rapidly beating heart refused to calm down.

His arms had already left the side of my waist but I was shocked and whammy, he didn't push or yank me away considering the mistake I had just committed.

What was I thinking? I am married. This Is cheating. No matter what he does, I am responsible for my own actions.

The guilt and culpability in my heart only grew even more as I moved further away from his embrace. He wasn't looking at me. Humza's face was a devoid of any emotion. His eyes were still rufous and puffy. He clenched and unclenched his jaws.

I sat there with parched lips, falling short of words. I Braced myself for yet another fight. I knew he had been bad to me for as long as I could remember. I would have shouted at him for coming to my room but this time I was at fault and I knew it.

Without even sparing me a glance, he rose from my bed where he was seated for about past 10 minutes. He then trudged away without any other word.

Ouch!

I wanted to apologize but what would I say. This was so complicated. I felt embarrassed and sheepish, even more because he didn't say a word. It was also quite amusing though.

I sat there on my bed thinking about what just happened. Was I In the arms of the mighty Syed Humza Junaid and did it soothe me?

I face palmed myself. Allah please fix this.

For the entire day I kept on thinking about the possible reasons of Humza not reacting to my revelation.

The twinge around my neck had abated and now it only pained when touched. I hadn't seen Humza the entire day and when the night dawn upon us I heard the 'oh so good voices' from the room next door.

Whenever we have a fight, He does that. I have figured it out now. I had told Ahad everything and he refused to believe me.

Can you believe it? He refused to believe me.

May I quote, he said "That man is a gem. There must be some misconception."

I roll my eyes at my best friend.

That man is a curse. What sin has he not done? He drinks, he sleeps around, I have never seen him praying salah, not even on Fridays and he also takes drugs.

He is such a sinner.

I even told Ahad about it and he was too shocked to hear about his list of sins.

I glanced upon my watch. It was past 2 now. By now Uzair must have made it to his home. I wondered what his reaction would have been when they told him about my marriage. For all I know, he would never ever take it lightly.

Humza ignored me today as well. I didn't even see him once. He barely was at home. I had offered my obligatory prayer and was now seated at the kitchen counter, watching the old lady working faster than I could have in a whole week.

"How is your pain?" Bibijaan interrogated.

"It doesn't pain much now." I flashed my brightest smile to assure her.

"Bibijaan I wanted to ask you something." This question had been at the back of my mind since yesterday and It didn't even allow me to sleep properly.

"Yes off course." She sliced the potato as she spoke to me.

"Ummm I was thinking of asking you... Ummm.. What if.. Ummm... a person is a really big sinner. I mean he has committed a lot of grave sins and he doesn't even realize it or maybe he knows it but it doesn't matter to him. So.. Uhhh..Will that person go to jannah? Does ALLAH still love him?" I played with the keys that were placed on the counter trying to act as if I wasn't really keen on getting an answer.

From the corner of my eyes I could see Bibijaan smiling.

"You know Anaabiya there is this strange thing about the love of our rab. His love is limitless. He has compared his love to that of 70 mothers combined and amalgamated. Do you think your mother would stop loving you if you committed a sin?" I looked at her quizzically waiting for her to explain further.

"So does that mean that the person would go to Jannah despite committing grave sins?" I asked her.

"The door of tauba never closes Anaabiya. I'll tell you a A heart touching hadees of the time when prophet Musa (pbuh) wandered with bani israel in the desert, an intense drought befell them. Together, they raised their hands towards the heavens praying for the blessed rain to come. Then, to the astonishment of prophet Musa(pbuh) and all others watching, the few scattered clouds in the sky vanished, the heat poured down and the drought intensified. It was revealed to prophet Musa (pbuh) that there was a sinner amongst the tribe of bani Israel who had disobeyed ALLAH for more than 40 years of his life. 'let him separate himself from the congregation.' ALLAH told prophet Musa(pbuh) 'only then shall I shower you all with rain.' Prophet Musa (pbuh) called out to the throngs of humanity. 'There is a person amongst us who has disobeyed ALLAH for more than 40 years. Let him separate himself from the congregation, only then shall we be rescued from the drought.' The man waited, looking left and right, hoping that someone else would step forward, but no one did. Sweat poured forth from his brow and he knew that he was the one. The man knew if he stayed amongst the congregation all would die of thirst and that if he stepped forward he would be humiliated for All eternity. He raised his hand with a sincerity he had never known before, with humility he had never tasted, and as tears poured down his cheeks he said, 'O ALLAH, have mercy on me! O ALLAH hide my sins, O ALLAH forgive me.' As prophet Musa(pbuh) and the people of bani Israel waited for the sinner to step forward, the clouds hugged the sky and the rain poured. Prophet Musa (pbuh) asked ALLAH 'O ALLAH, you blessed us with the rain even though the sinner didn't come forward.' And ALLAH replied 'O musa, it is for the repentance of that very person that I blessed all of bani Israel with water.' Prophet Musa wanting to know who this blessed man was asked, 'Show him to me O ALLAH.'

ALLAH replied, 'O Musa, I hid his sins for forty years, so you think that after his repentance I shall expose him?' Subhan ALLAH. You see Anaabiya ALLAH has a remarkable way of calling you back to him. Allah's capacity to forgive is far more than your capacity to sin. Often we become judgmental about someone else's sins. It's easy to laugh at the person who has fallen down but the difficult part is bending down to help that person get back on his feet."

I was baffled as I blinked back the tears that now threatened to spill from my eyes. This hadees was so heart warming that I felt even more guilty of judging Humza and calling him a sinner. To add to it I even discussed it with Ahad whereas I was supposed to keep it a secret just the way I would have protected my sins. Ya Allah I am doomed now.

I prayed to ALLAH so he forgives me for this huge sin that I had committed.

Well we all sin, the ways though are different and the sins are different in magnitude but they are sins none the less. I made a promise to myself that I would never judge a person for his mistakes. I made up my mind to help Humza in every way possible to take him closer to ALLAH.

I was now adamant.

"Bibijaan you have no idea what you've done today. I feel like I had been astray for so long." I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

"I am happy you gained knowledge." Bibijaan smiles genuinely from ear to ear. I wanted to discuss more but Maliha beat me to it.

"Your phone was ringing so I brought it for you." Maliha extended my phone and I immediately took it.

My phone was flooded with messages as soon as I opened it. I read the first message after which my senses seemed to have paralyzed.

NABIHA

AnaabiyaUzair left the house in a fit of p

My body had gone into a state of frenzy. I can't face him. Ya Allah no, this can't happen.

"Anaabiya." A male voice echoed in the foyer and my heart beat sped up at his voice. The hoarse shout cut through my benumbed senses. Bibijaan looked puzzle.

"Anaabiya." It was his voice again.

I strode and tramped hurriedly towards the foyer. The moment I entered it, my gaze ceased at him. My eyes connected with his. He stood near the door looking tired. The corner of his lips had a fresh bruise. It was slightly bleeding as well. He still was the same. Just like he had left.

The love that filled his eyes had me rooted to my ground. He was panting like he had run a marathon. I could feel the presence of Bibijaan and Maliha behind me.

I looked at him shell-shocked and too dumbfounded to say a word.

I didn't even realize when he almost ran towards me, engulfing me in a bone crushing hug. It was as if all the air from my body had been sucked out. This has never happened.

He hugged me tightly like his life depended on it whereas I couldn't gather the courage to hug him back. Fear consumed me. Where was Humza?

"Ya ALLAH Anaabiya I can't believe you are fine. I Thought I lost you. Why didn't you wait for me?" For a second, I thought he was weeping.

I shut my eyes trying to muster up the courage to push him back. This wasn't permissible. This is wrong.

"Hands off my girl." My eyes immediately flew open to find a very outraged Humza in front of me and a silver metallic pistol in his hands, pressed up against Uzair's head, just like my dream.

Vola! I updated and might I tell you, it was only because of your messages. Tired now. Please reward me with a vote and comment beautiful people ♥

ALLAH

on 26.1.2018