She hugged me very tightly and because I wasn't used to it, it made me feel different. Better. She let go and went into the house with her big bag.

"Wow, nice house" she said smiling up at me. I smiled back, not really knowing what to say.

"So, I am Masara. I am married to this idiot Hamza, don't ask me why" she said, trying to break the ice. I smiled and mentioned to her to sit down.

"You really look beautiful in that abaya and scarf" I said quietly. I didn't know where it came from. I really didn't, but I needed to say it. I felt the need to start a conversation even though she was already talking.

"Oh, really? Thank you. Well, I wasn't like this before. I mean, before marrying Hamza" she said looking away. I got curious but decided not to ask further since I didn't know her.

"Are you hungry? Or do you want to drink something?" I asked standing up.

"I am not hungry, thanks, but I would like to have some tea" she said and I nodded. I went to the kitchen to make some tea.

"So, how long have you been married to Aneel?" she asked. I thought for a moment.

"I guess six months now" I said not looking up at her. I just could feel her nod.

"You're really quiet, aren't you?" she said. I looked up at her, trying to find out if she meant it in a bad way, but couldn't see anything.

"Yeah, I mean.. I've never really had someone to talk to, other than Aneel" I said smiling a bit. I didn't want to look up at her face. I didn't want to see guilt.

"Oh, I know what you mean. Come on, hurry up I am going to tell you my love story" she said grabbing the cups of tea when I was taking out some cookies. We went to the living room and sat down.

"So, I was this bad girl. The darkness of the family. Everyone was perfect, except for me. I was this badass girl who never gave a damn about anything. I went out, hung out with everyone, smoked- did everything. I was muslim by name. I never knew how to pray or how to fast. The only thing I knew was not eating pork and not giving the only thing I have to someone else. Not that I would've given it anyways. But one day, I had this friend who was a boy. We were hanging out and then this boy came up to us. He was my friend's friend" she said looking like she was living it all again When she came back to senses she laughed at me.

"Sorry. Anyways, this guy talked with my friend, but I was talking something important with him too so I just yelled at him for 'being an idiot for interrupting', so we argued. He said stuff, I said stuff but he was the whole time calm. He never swore at me or said something inappropriate. That made me really mad so I just pushed and pushed. After a while he just shook his head ignoring me and walked away. I had never experienced something like that before, that's why I was thinking about it the whole time. A few days later, my brother came up to me and said that a guy asked my hand in marriage. I was really shocked, because I never thought someone would want to marry me. I had these dreams and stuff too but I had never hope. I just knew no one would want me, because I was the bad one. I had a bad reputation. So I decided to meet the guy who wanted to marry me, I mean why would he want to marry a messed up girl, right? So I went to meet him, and guess who it was?" she said looking at me mysterically. I thought for a moment. How was I supposed to know? She just smiled at me.

"It was Hamza! When I saw him, you should've seen my face! I first thought he joked but when I saw his expression I knew he was serious. So the first thing I said then was 'why?' and he just laughed at me" she said smiling. I smiled too, being curious to his reason.

"Why?" I asked her to carry on.

"He said that he was seeing me every night in his dreams. He said he saw the good in me but it was very deep and needed a light to be found. So we talked for a few weeks and I accepted his proposal. When we were married, we talked a lot. Really, a lot. He inspired me. He told me things I never knew about this religion. He made me believe in Allah. And Alhamdulillah, that Allah sent him to me" she said. Wow.. that was really beautiful. I thought immediately about me and Aneel. Will he ever change too..

"Well, I guess I am not so lucky then" and when I said it my eyes widened and my hand went to my mouth. Did I really said that out loud?!

"What? Why?" she asked sitting up straight. What do I do now? I closed my eyes. I just- I needed the voice back. I tried to concentrate but it didn't work.

"You can tell me anything Sahra, we are friends" she said. I smiled a bit. Friends.. 'Trust her. She will be your help to find it. Don't be scared. She has beent sent for good. You will be alright' I heard the voice I was waiting for. I opened my eyes and tried to take all my confidence up.

"Well.. I don't really have a story as yours" I said. She just looked up at me, wondering what I was going to say.

"I.. My parents forced me in this marr-" before I could finish I heard Masara gasping.

"You serious?! How?! Why?! W-"

"I know, okay?" I said and sighed. I couldn't do this. It was just too difficult. But I needed to, that voice said that I needed to. I knew that I needed to talk about it with someone if I wanted to stay sane.

"They forced me in this marriage. At the beginning, it was like hell. But it was better than there. Aneel was just.. he was mean to me, said all those things but I just.. I just knew that he was upset about what had happened to him. He went through a lot, so I was always taking a step forward when he pushed it. At the beginning, I was really lost. I even.. I even tried to end it all" I said the last part with a broken voice. I couldn't control it and it was the first time that I talked about it with someone. She came over to me and sat down beside me and took my hand in her lap. That made my heart flutter. The way she looked at me looked like she really cared.

"You can tell me anything. I am there for you. You are a sister of me, how could I not?" she said softly, trying to give me a reason to trust her.

"But I didn't. We went through a lot. We had fights. He had fights. There were days where he just came home all bloodied and bruised because he was out fighting. Afte a while, I don't know what happened but he.. he started trusting me. He told me why he was like that. Its just.. we are good now. But he just- he doesn't want to believe.He doesn't want anything to do with Allah and it's hurting me" I said, feeling the tears drop down. Masara didn't say anything. I guess she couldn't even register what happened.

"And.. and your parents? How d-" I didn't let her finish.

"Oh, they didn't even care. I was happy that I went out of there. They beat me up every day. It was just.. enough you know. At a point, it had to be enough.. But I don't care anymore" I didn't know if I had to say this. I closed my eyes.

"They are not even my real family.." I said. I opened my eyes and looked at Masara. My eyes widened. She was crying.

"Why are you crying?" I asked her. She just smiled and wipes her tears away.

"I just- you just can see it in your eyes how much you've been hurt. Its just bad what happened. I don't even have the words for it. But Sahra, I don't know you but you are the strongest girl I've ever met" she said smiling at me. I frowned out of confusing. Strong? Me?..Why?

She then stood up and grabbed me by the arm.

"Come on, let's pray" she said. We did our wudu and I told her where to to pray. When I said 'Allahu Akbar', it felt weird. Good weird. When I pray, I feel it always. But I've never felt it this strong before. I've never felt the happiness this strong before. It was.. it was amazing. I can't just tell how blessed I am to actually know how to pray and pray. When I went to the sajda, I closed my eyes. When I said countless times 'subhanerabbiyel'Ala', I made dua at the same time. It felt good, so good..

"I've never prayed this good" Masara said smiling the whole time. I nodded at her and we made our way to the living room. Just when I was about to ask what she wanted to eat, the doorbell rung. I looked at Masara, to know if actually Hamza was going to come, but she shook her head. I went over to it and opened the door, seeing a mirror of mine standing there.

~~~~~

Final Editing Done (02-11-2016)

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