《Her love & her regrets》Last chapter (unedited)

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Aslam o alaikum guys

I rang the bell but I had to wait little and door opened presenting my so intelligent wife (sarcasm), immediately I stood before her and her frown changed into shocking expressions.

I really wanted to smirk at her for opening and closing her mouth like a gaping fish but my stony expressions were enough for her.

She was about to close the door at my face but I quickly grabbed her arms, slammed the door shut and pinned her to the wall beside it.

"What do you want" I growled in cold and low voice because literally my patience was running out.

"Fahad" Tears glistened in her eyes, my heart melted but what she was getting in hurting me.

"What is this nonsense? " I yelled as I pulled out the note out of my pocket and threw it on the floor. She flinched.

"Fahad you are hurting me" She said as she tried to push me away but I pulled her even more close.

"Now my touch hurts you what about the other day when you embraced me with all your senses" I asked in fury but she only wriggled in my grip.

"Now it does, your touch hurts me. Stay away. I hate you" She spat, I sucked in a sharp breath as my hold loosened, she pushed me making me stumble back.

"You are just talking about me don't you want to talk about your behavior? The truth is that you are fade up of this relationship and you are here to scream at me to cover up your actions. Fahad if you really loved me then you could've waited for me in the hospital but No! your business meetings were more important than me, you never contacted me in these two days, now suddenly your conscience awakens and you are here to ask me what I want? " She shouted as she kept her index finger on my chest in accusing manner and then grabbed my collar. I was listening her venomous words.

"I want to move out from your life so that you can live a beautiful life without me, so that you can move on from me... You and I, we both know that this is the best option" She whispered as she moved away and wiped her tears. I humorlessly chuckled as I nodded.

"You've always done that Hoorain, it's not a new thing for me. I'm habitual of your mistrust and doubt on my love. You've always insulted me and my intentions....."

"You mistrusted me when you were planning against Aaliyaan because you thought I will accuse you, then you assumed by yourself that I would not love you anymore if I knew about Ahtisham.. Like seriously? Now you are doing the same. Did you ask me once why I wasn't able to wait for you.....

" Uncle Ismail had committed suicide, he is no more in this world that's why I suddenly went from hospital, my phone was not charged due to which I wasn't able to contact you, how can you expect me to call or even text you when whole house was crowded and I was incharge of every little thing. Faraz is not in his senses how can you expect me to leave him in this state but still I managed to come to take you but then I heard that my wife has decided to leave me.... Look at my clothes, they are worn out and from two days I'm wearing these clothes" I desperately explained to knock some sense in her, her eyes went wide as she was surprised to listen truth.

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"Uncle Ismail... Suicide?" She whispered to herself, not believing her ears. I sighed as I rubbed my temples to lessen the pain and sat on the nearby chair.

"I'm going home to change clothes, if you don't want to come then it's okay" I finally spoke as I was tired of making her understand.

"I'm coming with you" She finally spoke as she sobbed and brought her long veil to drap on her shoulders. I nodded and waited for her outside in the car while she locked the house.

Fahad was one to ascend from the car when we reached home. He slammed the car door shut and went inside while I also followed behind. Sitting in the living room I texted my mother that I was with Fahad. She replied okay. I thought to explain everything to ami after going back to ami's place.

He quickly put on casual clothes and we were on our way to Faraz bhai's house.

************

A week later

When judge declared Aaliyaan's death sentence, his family was not present but Hoorain, Fahad, Faraz and Hania made sure to see him going through punishment. Police officers were taking him to a dark room where he was going to be hanged to death, he saw these both couples on his way and realized that he was defeated when Faraz interwined his hand with Hania's and Hoorain grasped Fahad's forearm as she inched closer to him.. Aaliyaan failed because everything which he had broken and tried to destruct was mended instead he was shattered completely that there was no one to bring him to whole, even his family loathed him.

With slumped shoulders and tied hands he made his way towards his torturous death....

When police officer put rope in his neck, he saw something which already almost took his breath, he saw a girl in white maxi, her back was facing him, her long brown hair were hanging loose on her shoulders, she turned around while tugging her hair behind her ear but she was shyly gazing down. She slowly looked up at him and he forgot to blink, tears glistened in his eyes. She was Naila who was looking ethereal in white clothes with her natural beauty. Once dark room was illuminated by her light of purity, by her presence. Her smile made him realize something but it was very late and in that very moment support from under his feet was pulled away and rope against his neck tightened snatching his last breaths, with him hanging lifelessly the image of Naila also disappeared.

Ahtisham was also hanged to death for rape, his sister and mother were there crying for him, government announced to take responsibility of expenses of his family.

************

I had cancelled my flight to Lahore that very day when I went to Faraz bhai's house. He told me everything that it was his father who hired Aaliyaan and apologized to me, I immediately forgave him because it was not his fault at all and Uncle Ismail was not anymore, so how could I hold grudges against someone who is gone from this world.

My parents were happy with my decision that I was going to make my marriage work again, that is what I told to them and went to my home but was afraid because Fahad was completely ignoring me like I was invisible. Coming at late night that even I wasn't able to wait for him, going early and if by chance he faced me he would busy himself in the study where he would order Nafeesa that no one disturbs him.

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He was playing with my heart by keeping himself away from me , was giving me pain which was unbearable but this is what I had done to him.

Fahad was still oblivious to the fact that I was pregnant so were my parents, because I thought to tell him first about his child and then we both announce it to everyone but he was upset with me and I promised myself to bring back my Fahad and wipe out all disappointments from his heart.

I was realizing with the passing days that living without Fahad was impossible for me, I was stupid for even thinking of divorce, he loved me with all his being but only I was blind to see that.

Today I thought to wait for him even if he comes at dawn. I wore a beautiful black Saree and did very minimal makeup, F❤H necklace adorned my neck which I had never put off and wore the diamond ring which Fahad had gifted me.

I kept the baby clothes and little baby shoes on the centre of the bed and covered them with two heart shaped baby pink and sky blue cushions. After decorating whole room with red flowers I dimmed the light and waited for him in the balcony.

It was so tiring because it was almost 3:00 am and Fahad was still not home, I was about to call him but that way he would know I'm still waking up and he wouldn't come. I thought and kept my mobile aside praying silently for him.

I was about to doze off when car pulled in the garage and Fahad got out of it. My all sleep vanished as I quickly rushed towards mirror in the room to set my hair and Saree. Soft clicks of his boots were heard and very slowly and noiselessly he twisted the knob of the door, If I were sleeping then I would've never known of his coming. very clever.

He halted in his steps when he looked around and his gaze fell on me, I thought he would be happy to see this all but Fahad immediately turned around to go, my heart broken into pieces yet I was not going to give up this time so quickly increased my pace and tightly grasped his wrist.

"Fahad please" I beseeched, he without turning or looking at me unclasped my hold from his wrist.

"Stay away, my touch will burn you" His cold voice ran shivers down my spine. With that he took a step to go again but this time I hugged him from behind.

"Any thing can burn me but your touch, I love it" Tears glistened as I tightly clung to him, he sighed as his tense muscles relaxed a bit.

Her words were still lingering on my mind when she pushed me and warned me to not touch her then I thought why not I keep myself away from her. She knew I loved her but still she managed to give me pain and suffering. Living without her was worst.

I intentionally used to come late at night so that I had not to face her otherwise I might have lost myself. I used to kiss her forehead and gaze at her sleeping form for hours. After taking my clothes from wardrobe I used to sleep in another room so that I do not disturb her.

I admit that she tried hard to get my attention whenever I was in front of her but I refused to give in.

Today she amazed me with her struggle to vanish my anger. Although I was so much glad to see that all but still showed some attitude.

She was looking so Beautiful and ethereal in black Saree, like always she managed to impress me in a new way. Now she was spoiling me with her new tactics to appease me.

Suddenly Hoor hugged me from behind which I never expected she would do, I was tensed at first but when she admitted herself that those hurtful words were not true my body became relaxed. I was still hurt by her but when she was trying hard to please me then I thought to not be so much tough.

"Fahad I love you more than anything. I'm sorry for disappointing you but please don't leave me like this" I felt the wetness on my back as I realized she was crying, which wrenched my heart. Taking her hand in mine I softly kissed on her knuckles and turned around to face her.

"I'm not leaving you Hoor. Don't cry. It's okay" I spoke as I wiped her tears with my thumb and hugged her while kissing at the crown of her head.

She nodded and smiled.

"I have a surprise for you" she grinned and closed the door behind us which was opened awhile ago.

Hoorain switched on the lights of the room to make the view of room clear.

"Keep them aside, there is something hidden for you under these cushions" she spoke with small smile playing on her lips as there was a spark in her eyes.

It must be something special

I chuckled and removed the cushions, there were baby clothes and baby shoes. I almost reached there but still I didn't believe until she nodded after placing her hand on her stomach.

Huge grin followed by blooming laughter escaped my mouth as I again engulfed Hoorain in my arms.

"Are you serious Hoor" I cupped her face, she giggled.

"Yes you are going to be a father" She affirmed.

"Are you Happy?" we both asked in unison and laughed it out.

"I'm more than Happy. This child is lucky for us" I said while making her sit on the bed.

"I hope I'm the first one whom you told this good news" I asked expectantly to which she nodded making me more happy. Suddenly I was feeling guilty for leaving her alone and not taking care of her when she needed me the most.

"You're my life Hoorain, there were few things going between us but that doesn't mean we would live without eachother. You are my wife, my companion, only mine to live with. I love you and can't even imagine to live without you. How could you even think of divorce"

"I'm sorry for leaving you at your parent's house when you needed me the most but I was so messed up Hoor. Never in million years I can be fade up of you. I'm sorry for not clearing anything before but we should promise to keep our trust on eachother rather than being silent and moving away" I softly made her understand while holding her hand.

"I promise you that In Shaa Allah (If Allah wills) I will always keep my trust on you after Allah" She said making me proud husband and lover. She kept her head on my chest.

"You know where I find the real peace and feel safe? " She asked

"Where?"

"In your embrace" She replied, swelling my heart with contentment.

I silently prayed for our love and relationship.

"Alhamdulillah " I whispered, showing gratitude.

***************

On Hania's persistence I agreed to go to Psychtrist although I didn't want to but everyone was noticing my worse emotional and mental condition. Fahad and Hoorain used to come daily to give us company or to take us outside. They were going to be parents and I was very happy for my friend and sister.

Hania was taking care of me best and always tried to make my mood better but my silent treatment was scaring her up. I don't know where was I taking myself, because nothing seemed to bring back my personality, like I was slipping into oblivion or maybe my senses were numbing with passing time.

Today was the 3rd session with psychtrist and it was somehow better from the first session. First time was hell difficult for me but Hania persuaded me somehow to continue going there.

As we came home, Hania's friend Ayesha was there along with one young man. I frowned but as Hania saw him she shrieked with excitement and happiness.

"Oh my Allah is that you Junaid?" Hania shrieked. I mentally rolled my eyes at her, she was asking even though He was in front of her.

Junaid had also huge grin plastered on his face but there was something in eyes when he looked at my wife which made me clench my jaw, so I took hold of Hania's hand. She smiled at me warmly.

"Junaid He is my husband Faraz and He is my childhood friend Junaid" She introduced us both. I nodded at him while he took out his hand from his pocket to shake it with me. We both shook hands, then Hania made them sit.

"He is our childhood friend but had to go America for studies and settled after getting married there. He comes two times every year but couldn't come to your wedding" Ayesha told me.

Ayesha, Junaid and Hania fell into easy conversation, Although Hania was addressing me in every other sentence to keep me in conversation but I felt out of place so thought to give them some time and excused myself. They all nodded.

"In whole world you found this arrogant man to marry? Don't tell me you love this grumpy man" As I came out of room I heard Junaid. Of cource he was talking about me. Something in me forced me to stand there and listen to Hania's answer.

"Junaid? " Ayesha said in a disbleif tone.

"Ayesha don't say anything to Junaid, it's just my Faraz is more handsome and has cool personality so he is just being jealous" Ayesha laughed while instant smile appeared on my face and I silently walked from there.

"Excuse me please calm down... I'm not jealous...." He defended while other voices faded away as I reached upstairs in my room.

Deep sigh escaped my lips when again I was going into my horrible thoughts. So shaking them off I walked over to mirror and stood there staring at my reflection.

Am I handsome and cool

She is lying I'm the ugliest person

Be positive Faraz

But I can see that I'm becoming worse

Hania shouldn't have loved me. She doesn't deserve me.

I stirred and sat down on the bed with hands in hair, I could feel my breath uneven.

Slight knock on the door got my attention.

"Who's there? " I asked annoyingly

"It's me Hania" I in an instant got up from the bed, brushed my hair and put on a big smile on my face and opened the door.

I didn't want to ruin Hania's day today due to my insecurities and complexities. I really wanted her to enjoy with her friends after a long time.

"Why you came here. Come downstairs" She suggested as soon as I opened the door. I knew she was worried about me and I hated that because she was also a human being, how many times she would pick me up and how many times I would shatter down again.

"It's just I came here to freshen up" I said smiling whole heartedly leaving myself shocked because a while before fake smile was plastered on my face.

"You are looking happy today? " Hania asked unsurely.

" Because my wife is happy today" She blushed as I kept my hand on her shoulder and we made our way downstairs.

We pulled apart as we entered in drawing room where Hania's friends were present. Sara was also there talking with Junaid.

"Why are you blushing" Ayesha winked at Hania to which I chuckled while she glared at Ayesha.

Ayesha and Sara both had good sense of humour which made my day, on the other hand Junaid had that annoying stern expressions. I tried to talk to him for the sake of my wife so that she doesn't think bad of me but Junaid had no good thoughts about me so I also kept my mouth sealed when it came to him.

*********

r

We both used to live in one room and on one bed but used to put pillows between us, it was on Hania's persistence because she didn't want me to sleep on couch.

On the first days of my father's death, she used to sleep in another room but I had so many nightmares that I had to keep myself awake all night. Hania noticed that and I also requested her to shift in my room.

Thankfully she agreed, nightmares didn't stop even after that but atleast I had her by my side so it was somehow easy for me to sleep again.

Today again I had nightmare where my dad was shouting at a person before him and then he committed suicide.

I jolted up in the bed, sweat covered my forehead, my heart was beating fast. With trembling hands I took glass of water but it fell from my hands, jerking Hania in her sleep. I silently cursed myself. She immediately switched on the lamp and moved towards me in the bed.

"What happened Faraz? Are you alright? " She was tensed up as I rubbed my face.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you from your sleep" I apologized and stepped out from the room to sit in the lawn.

I was gazing at stars while thinking.

All colors from my life are fading away. Sometimes strong feeling of hatred grows in my heart for my mother but then I think what's the use of hating a person who already had destroyed her life with her own hands.

I don't know what my mom got from all this, because as much as I remember Murtaza uncle is also happily living his life with his family, he didn't die in my mother's memory, he tried to make everything better and mend the broken hearts unlike my father who in revenge turned into monster and shattered everything around including himself and his own son.

I was fade up of being positive. Whenever I struggled through my thoughts, negative ones used to win and rule over head.

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