Aslam o alaikum guys

Hoorain's pov :

"I'm still concerned for you my child" Ami said as soon as baba went from the room. Tears made their way through my temples as I was laying on my mother's lap.

"Ami you know I've danced in the rain of his love yet it took time for me to realize it but trust me now that I'm madly and deeply in love with Fahad, I can't see him in pain anymore and if I would live with him, he will die everyday. My past will not let us live in peace, just think how would he able to forget the fact that some random man had raped me thinking it was him and most importantly how would he forget that he was forced into this mess and he had nothing to do with any of the damages which were done to me. I want him to marry someone more pious and beautiful girl who would love him unconditionally" I sniffled, alone thought of Fahad with someone else was tearing me apart and here I was talking about marrying him to someone else.

"But you will die everyday after divorce and I can't see you in pain either" Ami's voice cracked at the end. I sat up straight and quickly wiped my tears and smiled widely in front of her.

"Look ami I'm smiling and trust me you and baba are the biggest source of my happiness.... I can't be selfish anymore. You should be glad that your daughter is changed now, she thinks of other people's happiness before her's and this is the time I think of Fahad's." I squeezed her hand in mine as if reassuring her but in reality I was giving a false hope to myself that I would ever be contented living without him.

Ami gave up on arguing with me due to my stubbornness.

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"Did you watch the news Nageen" Murtaza asked his wife to which she shook her head while shrugging her shoulder.

"What happened now in the country that made you so upset?" She yawned and started doing her night routine before sleeping.

"Whole nation is talking about famous business tycoon Ismail Fareed... He is no more" Murtaza whispered to which Nageen's eyes went wide.

"What happened to him? "

"Suicide. He committed suicide yesterday" There was a complete silence for few seconds.

"I think we should go there to pay condolence" Murtaza said.

"Murtaza are you in your right mind? You know how much havoc would be created there on our presence like years ago" she scolded her husband..

"Murtaza you are forgetting that you went to apologize to Ismail five times after your accident and every time he insulted you and kicked you out of the house, then why do you think that his son will accept your presence on his father's funeral" She reminded Murtaza.

"Try to understand, I know Ismail's son will insult us but I want to apologize to him for ruining his and his Father's life , maybe that way I will find peace which had disappeared from my life long ago" Regret was eating him up. Nageen was unsure but eventually Murtaza persuaded her.

"Tommorow we will go there" Murtaza suggested.

"But tommorrow we are shifting from here"

"Our flight for Lahore is in evening, we can go to Ismail's place in morning" Nageen went silent again thinking about Hoorain.

"Should we take Hoorain with us? Faraz had been a brother like figure in her life. When you were in Coma, he took her to the hospital to visit you and helped me with finances, although I was reluctant but he was persistent on helping me....She will be highly disappointed if we do not tell her about the incident" Nageen said.

"Okay but what if she refuses to go fearing to face Fahad. It is highly anticipated that he would be there with his friend"

"She will have to face him one day then why not tomorrow. We will not tell her anything before going her"

"Nageen I understand all this but please right now I don't want her to be disturbed by another thing, we should give her some time"

"Ok then we will make some excuse to her and go to Faraz's house in the morning"

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"Are you both going somewhere" I asked as I entered in the TV lounge and sat on the dining table to eat the breakfast.

"Yes we are going for some shopping. Do you need something, we will buy it" Ami said as she finished her tea and stood up taking her purse from table.

"No I don't need anything but remember today we have a flight to Lahore in evening so please come early" I said to them. Baba nodded and patted on my head.

"Yes don't worry we will come in an hour or two" He assured.

"Should I pack your bags for you? " I asked as they were about to go.

"No I had packed them" Ami smiled and they both went.

I closed the main door and continued to eat breakfast but felt nauseous in the middle so I stopped eating, quickly ran to bathroom as I puked. I washed my face and brushed my teeth again.

Suddenly I felt all energy been drained from me so I sat on the floor outside the washroom heaving a breath, there thoughts of vulnerability hit me hard.

How long would I be able to hide my pregnancy from my parents. It had been 2 days since I left Fahad's home but still he made no contact with me, hurt was the small word but that feeling was rapturing my heart.

Does he loathe me so much ,that he didn't even call or messaged me.

Yes he now doesn't love me otherwise he would've waited for me at hospital, but his business meetings were more important than my health.

My parents will know about this child in few days but I'll make sure that Fahad doesn't know anything about pregnancy, I don't want this child to create any problem in his life. Fahad deserves to live with someone better than me. This child is mine only.

All these hurtful and negative thoughts were roaming in my mind, stinging my eyes.

"Mrs. Fahad you are pregnant..." I blushed and genuinely smiled after seemed like ages, Fahad would definitely be happy to listen that. I thought. But my contentment didn't last long as Dr spoke again.

"Were you pregnant before? " She asked. I nodded.

"Yes but I had an miscarriage in a fifth month about 3 months ago" I replied earnestly.

"Look Mrs. Fahad five months miscarriage is never a easy thing, it seems like you had an operation and it's been only 3 months and you are again pregnant" She sighed which only accelerated my heart beat.

"your pregnancy is complicated, you should've taken a break of at least 6 to 7 months before getting pregnant again but Allah knows the perfect timing of every thing. Hope for the best. You need complete rest and no stress at all. Allah has bestowed you with a blessing then He is the one to protect you and your child" She smiled and to be honest when Dr took Allah's name, it provided me relief that no matter what Allah will protect this child for me and for Fahad.

Tears fell as I sobbed and cried, now it was only me and my baby.

Ya Allah help me. How will I face this society again? I've no guts to hear any negative word about my character and my child....

I silently prayed and tried to stand up, by taking support of wall I walked to my room to eat the medicines because I was not feeling well.

The most disturbing thought that was giving me severe headache that how would I be able to travel to Lahore in this condition.

********

Sometimes life throws you in such difficult circumstances where you don't realize what you are doing until you do it and when you ponder over it, time slips from your hands leaving you empty-handed and lonely.

This is what I felt after so many years of misunderstandings.... I was very proud that no-one could hide their true characters and feelings from me yet I failed to read the ones who truly loved me.

My dad always tried to be friend with me and I always hated him for the thing he never did, I gave the punishment of my mother's act to my father who was already suffering.

Dad left the note for me before committing suicide which I had read numerous times that every word of that note was clear in my head.

Faraz my son,

Some times I think maybe I was not a good husband that's why your mother cheated on me but forgive me my child for not being a good father either . I snatched your love from you even though I had also gone through this phase but still didn't stop myself from ruining your life.

When I used to come to Karachi to meet you, there one day almost 2 and half years ago I saw Murtaza with his wife and daughter Hoorain, they were looking so happy together which made me infuriated, I was fuming with rage that how Murtaza was living a beautiful life after devastating my family's life.

Then and there I took oath to make him face what he put me through years ago. After a month or so in Islamabad I was doing dinner in a restaurant when I overheard the conversation of young couple although I didn't want to but the topic was worth listening. Boy was blackmailing girl to give him money that he wanted otherwise he would leak her inappropriate pictures. Girl was pleading him but he wasn't listening anything.

At first I was offended by this boy's vulgarity but then my mind clicked that why not make him do the task in which he was skilled. Blackmailing... Girl got so emotional that she went from there but boy was still there smirking and cunningly smiling at her back. I left my table, sat on his table in front of him and introduced myself to him. He frowned because he didn't know me.

His name was Aaliyaan, I offered him handsome money and in return gave him the task to ruin Hoorain's life, he agreed. Murtaza's information, his address, his daughter's university address, her mobile number, these things weren't hard for me know. Coincidently Fahad also studied in that university but I didn't know. After sending Aaliyaan to Karachi I asked him to make Hoorain fall in love with him and then play with her life like her father played with mine.

I arranged an apartment for him in Karachi....

He used to stand outside Hoorain's university, send her gifts, text her so she eventually fell for him. Any girl of her age would do that. They were engaged soon, it was our plan that on their wedding day he would rob Murtaza's house and leave his daughter. There came a change in our plot when one day I came to meet you and by chance I saw Naila's pictures in your laptop, then I realized your way of looking at her.

It was obvious that you liked her so I decided to move her out of your life because I wanted you to get married to Hania, Ibrahim's daughter.

One day you invited Fahad and Naila, while you and Fahad were playing table tennis, Naila was sitting in living hall, I took my chance and talked to her about her business then I asked her to keep one of my trusted friend's son on job in her company which was lie, she without question agreed because she trusted my words and gave Aaliyaan the job without checking his background.

Upon my request she didn't tell you about this that it was my recommendation to keep Aaliyaan for job in her company.

Aaliyaan played his charms infront of her and it was his luck that Naila also fell in his love. Do you remember the day when you and Fahad went for five day trip to Hunza. I was in Islamabad and Naila was in Karachi alone so Aaliyaan took that as an opportunity and called her at his place lying that he had fever. She immediately went for his help and there he served her drugged juice after which she wasn't in her senses for what happened to her. She still blindly trusted Aaliyaan when he lied her again that someone had drugged their drinks to make them unconcious.

I was so enraged at him for taking her virginity but Aaliyaan seemed careless, according to him it was best idea to get half of her property easily because his greed was increasing day by day. On the other hand he used Hoorain to make friendship with Fahad, I was not worried for Hoorain but only for Naila because I wanted to move her out of your life but Aaliyaan destroyed her completely.

After that I stopped giving him money, threatened him to go far away but he was more clever than me and didn't take any of my threats seriously.

My unluck started from that point when you saw Aaliyaan and Naila one day together and it was also planned by Aaliyaan so he could threaten me, it didn't make me worried but I didn't know you were collecting proof against Aaliyaan otherwise I would've been more careful.

He murdered Naila, kidnapped Ahtisham's sister and made him do such crimes which I never imagined to do. He completely ruined Fahad's and Naila's life including my son's life in process and I couldn't do anything to stop him because I never wanted him to tell you that I started this all mess.

When he was in lockup, he called me through some source telling me if I didn't bail him he would do more destruction to my son, that day I came to know, he had a gang which was doing all his tasks but he had not enough money to bail himself. I could've killed him but he had some proofs against me which he was able to leak even after his death through his men.

I was so scared Faraz to even imagine the reaction from you if Aaliyaan told you anything so I bailed him out of lockup and immediately arranged your engagement to Hania so that you could move on and forget Naila.

Hoorain's accident on your engagement day frightened me for Aaliyaan's intentions, I felt helpless that's why I asked you to marry Hania soon.

To be honest I had no remorse over what happened to Hoorain. On your second day of marriage I was going to Islamabad but I overheard Hoorain that she wanted to visit her parents so before them I reached to Murtaza's house to show her father's true colors to Fahad.

I was pretty impressed that Murtaza had hid his past from her daughter too, that was my last blow to them because Fahad left her at her parent's house and went from there.

I was so much into this hate and revenge that I forgot I was indirectly destroying my son's life.

Forgive me Faraz. I was the one who snatched all your happiness and your love. Today I'm taking my life because I've no guts to face my son.

I know that Aaliyaan had kidnapped you and Hania. He sent me pictures of both of you in vulnerable states. I've told Mr. Bilal everything including my sins but before police arrests me and I see hate in my son's eyes, why shouldn't I end my life.....

Allah Hafiz just pray for me...

Your ashamed and guilty father...

Tears slipped when I came to know that it was my father who was behind everyone's destruction but I didn't hate him for that because I was somewhere behind his behaviour, if only I had believed and respected my father the way he deserved, if only I had listened to him once when he tried to make me understand that it was not him who left my mother instead my mother cheated on him.

I wished to bring back the past and settle the things between my dad and me where we could've loved, understood and respected eachother.

We both repelled eachother, only considering one's own feelings which made us oblivious of the fact that this Father son bond like other relations needed some foundation of trust and believe which was immensely lacking from our relationship.

Bed dipped beside me breaking the chain of never ending thoughts.

"I need to change your dressing" Hania whispered as she grabbed my forearm and started removing the old bandage. I was staring her like trying to access the emotions but found none because I was absolutely numb. She cleared her throat making me sigh audibly.

"Your wound is getting worse day by day, I'm taking appointment with doctor for evening" She said when she was done with changing my bandage. Keeping all things back in first aid kit she stood up to go.

"Indeed this wound will heal but there are many deep open wounds which would never heal" I responded to which she halted in her steps while I stared her back. Slowly turning around she stepped forward and again sat beside me.

"Are you still angry with Uncle Ismail? " She asked softly to which I chuckled humorlessly, she frowned.

"Who said that I'm angry with dad?"

"You are silent since you've read this note which is still in your hand" She gulped as she eyed my fisted hand from which one could easily see the paper.

"I'm not upset with dad Hania but I've pity for my father that he ruined so many innocent lives just to satisfy his Ego. He destroyed his own hereafter. I'm in deep agony that how my father will face Allah. Maybe I'm somewhere the reason behind his sins, maybe my rude behaviour towards him was reason of dad's mistrust...." I stopped to take a deep breath as tears again glistened in my eyes.

"When I agreed to marry you now then trust me Hania if dad had ever asked me to marry you when Naila was alive then I would've choosed you over her because my dad's happiness was everything to me but I failed to show him that. I failed... " I sniffled

"He was my Father who sacrificed his youth for me, who raised me, gave me all kind of luxuries, if I'm successful today it's just because of my dad. He could've remarried but remained single for me so that he could keep me happy and secure..... How can I hate that man? How can I be angry with such father? Just because of his one mistake I can't forget his years of sacrifices and comprises..." Tears streamed down Hania's face as she she nodded.

"You are not angry with Uncle Ismail but you are upset with him for dragging Naila into the frame" She spoke after several minutes to which I was speechless but I had to clear everything to her not fearing the consequences.

"Dad's way of handling that situation was utterly wrong. He thought he could force the emotion of love for you in my heart when I had already developed that for Naila. No matter what, one can never induce this emotion into someone's heart but Allah. Only my Lord have this superior power to change the hearts..... Why parents do this to their children? Why they force the pure relationship like marriage without their children's consent? I've no control over my feelings. She's still in my heart Hania" I sobbed in front of her. She remained silent.

"I've understood that Naila was not in my destiny this way or other but what about this heart? My heart still cries for her.. Forgive me please forgive me.... Help me to move on" I cried as I sat on the floor before Hania and joined my hands together to ask for her forgiveness.