I had spent the entire day in my meadow, enjoying the solitude. Only when I was alone, was I able to fully be whom I had become. I could allow the walls to come down then, and let the dam of tears I always barely had under control, release into a raging torrent. They would cascade down my face like rapids in a river. Unyielding and violent. Here, I could let the pain take over my body, before building the walls again brick by brick, until there was no trace of the agony I bared alone. No one else to help support the weight of it, that was slowly crushing me.

Once the sun began to set, I got up and began the trek back to the pack house for dinner. I wanted to enjoy the last few years, or even months I had left with my brother. The only living blood relative I had left. We had lost our mom and dad when I had been 15, and my brother at 20. We had always viewed our parents as indestructible and a permanent anchor in which we were attached to. And with two small silver bullets shot from a gun in a hunter's hand, we had lost them and been cast adrift. Overnight, my brother had to grow up and mature. He had went from kid to guardian in a blink of an eye. He became my pallor of strength, and became my interim parental figure. Without him, I would have probably been more foregone then I am now. He was the reason I was holding on to my sanity. He was the only reason for me to hold on. My brother, my protector, my family. I had been so happy for him when he had found his mate, Abby. I hadn't even flinched when he asked if it would be okay for me to move into the main house, so that Abby could move into the house we once shared as siblings. For him, I would do anything. Even if that meant subjecting myself to more pain in being closer to my mate. He had given up so much for me for years, I could give up a little comfort for his benefit.

As I stepped out of the forest, I noticed that the backyard had Christmas lighting shewn about from the sparse trees still located in it. There were numerous tables that appeared to be able to seat the entire pack of over a hundred Lycans. And in the front, was a platform build about 3 feet from the ground, with a round table that looked to be able to only seat about six people in total. It was covered in red linen, with decorative plates and forks, and a beautiful center piece of exotic flowers in red, golds, and whites. It seemed to be a celebration of some kind, but I hadn't remember being told of any upcoming events at the weekly pack meeting Damien held. It was too extravagant in nature to have been quickly thrown together. I watched curiously as final touches were being applied to the tables, until I spotted my brother approaching me from the back door.

"Lei, there you are! I have been looking for you everywhere! You have about 30 minutes before the party starts, you need to get ready. Wear something semi-formal." I heard him say, while ushering me inside.

"What's going on Alex? What's this all about? Did I zone out at the meeting last week about this?"

"Oh no, no, no, no. This was a surprise and secret from the pack. Damien set it up, and didn't tell anyone of this until few hours ago. I would have been able to tell you to give you more time to get ready, but I couldn't find you. Go now, get ready, and be down in 30 minutes, no later."

I ran up the stairs to my room as fast as I could, and proceeded to get ready for the party. I momentarily panicked, realizing I had nothing to wear to the party, until I noticed a beautiful black dress laying on my bed. The black material was covered in beads and rhinestones, and the light twinkled off of it. I picked up the note that lay on top of the dress, to discover my brother had bought it for me, when he had went into town to pick up a last minute tux for the party while I had been gone. He always thought of me, no matter what, and him knowing me so well, he had found the perfect dress for me. I quickly hopped into the shower, only cleaning off my body, leaving my hair untouched. Looking at the clock on my nightstand, I realized I had only 20 minutes left before the party started. I quickly donned the dress on my bed. At first I was worried that the low back of the dress would reveal the bruising I had this morning, but hours had passed and the once prominent bruises were now faded and barely visible.

I ran over to my make-up and lightly touched up my face with a splash of coverage powder. Swept some blusher on my cheeks in a light pink color, and ran my upper lids in black liquid liner. Giving myself a thick cat eye liner. I filled in my eyebrows a tad bit darker, swept some white colored shadow to highlight the arches in my brow. Placed a fresh coat of mascara on my thick lashes that surrounded my grey eyes. Last, I completed my look as I chose a deep burgundy red lipstick. With still 10 minutes to go, I had time to loosely curl my hair, pinning one side up with a diamond clip my mother had owned. I rushed to my closet and debated for a second between black or red heels, before choosing the latter. Taking one last look at the clock, I realized I was already three minutes late for the party. I quickly exited my door, and proceeded downstairs, being careful not to trip and fall down the stairs in my heels.

As I reached the landing, I noticed that the foyer was filled with members of the pack. All of whom were currently mingling and socializing in their finery. Everyone looked so handsome and beautiful. And for the first time in a long time, I genuinely smiled at the elegance around me. Truly happy for a moment to be apart of this group of Lycans. As I begin making my way through the crowd, searching for Alex to thank him, different members of the pack greeted me and commented on how beautiful I looked. I smiled back at them, thanked them, and returned the compliment. As I was thanking one last pack mate, I spotted my brother with his mate, Abby.

"Alex! There you are! Thank you so much for the dress!"

"You're welcome, but you should be thanking Abby for choosing it, I just paid for it."

"Abby, thank you so much. I love it."

"You are very welcome Leilani, and I just knew the dress would be perfect for you. You look breath-taking."

I blushed, "Abby, you look radiate in your dress, and I am so glad my brother found you."

I leaned into both of them, hugging each of them with both my arms, and placing a kiss on both their cheeks. As I released them from the hug, I noticed that most of the pack members had ceased talking and their eyes were turned upwards. That was when I noticed Damien and Rachel slowly descending the staircase. Midway down, both stopped and smiled at one another. Damien leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. And with that simple action, my happiness dissipated in an instant. My brother noticed my mood shift, and the slight tensing of my body before I was able to mask my pain. I watched as a worried expression crossed his face, and gave me a look as if asking me what happened. I shook my head slightly, and plastered a smile on my lips, and turned back towards Damien. I had no choice but to look at him, I could not control of my body when it came to him. He was the shining light in my darkness, a beacon of hope and dreams. I watched as he whispered something in Rachel's ear, causing her to giggle slightly. I took him in at that moment, in all his glory. Dressed in a single button tux, with only a crisp white button-up shirt with the top two buttons left open, his hair fashionably disheveled, and a 5 o'oclock shadow resting on his jaw. He was devastatingly handsome. I then looked at Rachel, her silver blonde hair in an elegant chignon, wearing a white silk A-line dress, with a discreet slit up both sides of her legs. They looked the picture of a perfect couple, and it broke my already broken heart more.

"Welcome all of Mountain Meadow Pack. On behalf of Rachel and myself, I want to thank you for attending this celebration on such short notice. If you can all continue on to the backyard, dinner will be served shortly, and I will announce the reason behind this affair to you.", Damien stated in a strong voice.

With that, all the members of the pack begin ushering out the back door towards the tables I had seen being set up less than an hour previously. Name cards indicating where people were to seat were located on the plates on each table. I had been in the process of trying to locate my own spot, when I heard Abby calling for me.

"Leilani! Your up here with Alex and I."

I looked over, and noticed she was standing at the table that had been situated on the platform. The table that was decorated more extravagantly then the other tables located in the main sitting area. Confused a bit about why I would be sitting up there, I walked over to Alex and her. And sure enough, I saw my name card next Alex's seating. I looked to the left to see whom would be sitting next to me on the other side, when my heart plummeted to my stomach. Sitting there on the plate was none other than Damien's name, and next to his was Rachel's.

"I had Rachel seat you up here with us, even if you are unmated, I thought you would rather sit next to Abby and I tonight. I know how you feel about sitting with people you don't quite know. I hope you don't mind it, Lei."

I took a deep fortifying breath, and plastered on a fake smile and turned to my adoring brother.

"No, I do not mind. Thank you for always looking out for my best interests Alex. You will never know how much I love you. Always remember that, okay?"

He looked at me a bit confused with my last statement.

"Of course I will remember that. Besides you're gonna tell me everyday for the next fifty years or more."

I smiled at him, and nodded yes. Even-though I knew that it wasn't the truth, but I would protect him from it for as long as I could hide it.

At that, I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up in attention, indicating that Damien was in close proximity. I turned my head around, and noticed Rachel and him walking up to the table. Our eyes locked for an instant. And I swear for a second, I saw the same love and lust I had returned back to me from his eyes. I adverted my eyes, knowing what I had seen was just an illusion. I had recently started to begin hallucinating about people long gone, or hearing imaginary voices around me. At first, it had terrified me, but I soon realized it was just symptomatic issues that were arising from my current situation. I had to be ever more careful not to indicate to anyone that something was wrong with me. I had been able to ignore the visions and voices I heard up until now, but there would be a time I could not, and the people I loved would see my well hidden secret. Hopefully before I deteriorated to that state, and became an unwanted burden in their lives, I would be gone. I know Alex and Abby will be sad for a time, but I also knew their bond was strong and they would have each other to lean on once I was gone. And I could leave, knowing the people I loved would be alright.

"Evening Alex, Abby, Leilani." I heard him state.

All three of us turned towards Damien in unison, and stated 'evening' back at Rachel and him. I watched as he first slid Rachel's chair out for her, before sliding it back in once she was seated. He had not even thought to do it for me, leaving me to seat myself. Alex had done the same for Abby, as Damien had done for Rachel. This night was sure to be taxing on my nerves and heart. I wondered to myself what havoc this night would have on my fragile psyche. I would deal with it later, in private as usual. It was time for me to play the best night of charades I was physically capable of.