《I am a Spy》Copy that, FBI
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Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
After a long day and many explanations to the bus driver - as the biometric identification showed Enzo and Vini with unrecognizable faces and clothes - the two finally got back to Lake, their home. The doormen didn't understand the clothes and makeup either, but Vini explained that they would soon have an explanation, if that was even possible.
Instead of going home, Enzo stayed at Vini's apartment. He didn't even think twice and lay down on the couch. In other circumstances, Vini would have kicked him out without even questioning, but this day had been so stressful, so weird, that he repeated the gesture. He went to the kitchen and brought out a cigar and two glasses of ice-cold Matte.
- This has been the longest and strangest day of my earthly life. - said Enzo.
- Tell me about it! At least the main objective was achieved.
- Screwing Pacifier's mother?
- Very funny. Almost made me laugh. You're delirious.
- I mean it. She's really hot, you've learned quite well.
- What are you talking about?
- Beautiful women have no age limit.
- Copy that, FBI?
Enzo frantic faced.
- Now you are the one delirious.
- Wait a minute. - Vini remembered, for some reason. - You said you were dating on the club's enrollment questionnaire.
- What about it?
- Who the hell are you dating?
- Oh, you want to argue about this now?
- Yes.
- I'm dating Italy. And sleeping with Russia.
- That makes so much sense that I'm going to need a linguist.
- Romantically, I am with Italy. We go to restaurants, we walk in the woods, we meet at school...
- In other words, all the crap you hate to do.
- Yes, pretty much, but she likes it.
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- And why's that?
- Have you seen her legs?
- All right, all right. And Russia? Where does she fit into this sick freak show?
- As I was saying before I interrupted my train of thought, with Italy I do all these fluffy things. But for the night, I stay with Russia. It works.
What?
- What?
- I fuck Russia and keep Italy. Happy?
- Not really.
- Do you want me to explain it again?
- Not exactly.
- Do you regret asking?
- I certainly do. I will make an appointment with my shrink thanks to you.
- Be careful what you wish for.
- But I'm glad this bizarre thing is doing you good.
- A little of what you fancy does you good, the saying is true.
- And they don't care?
- Not at all. I know that I won't be able to take Italy to bed because of Russia. I also know that Russia is not interested in doing all the silly things I do with Italy. It's a win-win situation.
- Are you conquering any other names in Europe that I'm not aware of?
- Not even Napoleon could dominate Europe, with an entire Army to himself, how could I do it just armed with my pen...
- Oh, oh, oh! I don't wanna know, dammit!
- You're the one who cares. And how's the Belgium thing going? Is it the same?
- We went on a date and that was it. Oh, and she put makeup on me, it must mean something.
If he says so.
- And she'll do it again on Wednesday. - Vini added.
- Vini, I don't know about you, but I'm a little worried about this dinner.
- Why are you concerned? Are you feeling intimidated?
- Stop talking gibberish. It's just that.... It's awkward.
- If we got into this, there's no turning back now.
- You got us into this, moron. - Enzo remembered - You'd better get us out of this mess.
Enzo wasn't going to miss the opportunity to throw it in his face. Still more so when none of it was his fault to begin with.
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