《I am a Spy》Better late than dead
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Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Vini's peaceful and restful sleep was interrupted by the furious sound of his cell phone vibrating on his wooden desk. Overwhelmed, he had the deep urge to throw it as far away as possible, but realized that this would be foolish. After all, the machine was not to blame. And whose fault was it? Well, we already figured it out.
- What is it, Enzo?
- Have you spoken to her yet?
- Enzo, it's 6:34 in the morning. 6:34! It could be the Princess of Sweden and I wouldn't answer.
- What time do we get the bus?
- Nine o'clock. Try not to be late. Which I assume you will be.
Vini was correct. Enzo would not know punctuality even if it hit him in the face with a baseball bat. So, Vini already knew what to do. He texted Julio, one of the many bus drivers on the Lake that exclusively served students from the neighborhood schools.
- What time are you off? - asked Julio.
- Nine o'clock.
- And Enzo?
- I told him I was leaving at nine o'clock.
9:10. Julio couldn't wait any longer. Of course, Vini was, again, right.
- Are you waiting for someone?
- It's complicated. I have a friend who is never on time. - Vini justified, as if Julio didn't already know about Enzo's nonsense. - And it's overtime. So, may I leave him behind?
- Yes, but do you really wanna leave him behind?
Vini smiled mischievously.
- I kinda do. - he replied.
- Great. At your service.
Julio turned the ignition key and gradually stepped on the gas. About 20, maybe 30 meters back, Enzo had a vision of hell as he watched the bus slowly pull away down the street.
- Hey, Vini! - Enzo yelled. - You idiot!
Vini put his head through the window and looked at Enzo, showing a pulse.
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- Nine o'clock, you idiot!
- You're leaving me behind?
- We're not the americans, Enzo! We leave men behind!
So, Vini did what only a loyal friend would do. Instead of waiting just another ten seconds and telling Julio that Enzo still had a chance to catch the bus, he simply decided to leave him in the middle of the street.
Two hours later, at school, Vini found him again on the third of the six classes of the day. And, obviously, Enzo was not happy at all. Still, Vini smiled when he saw him for the first time in the classroom, sweaty, disgruntled and tired.
- You have arrived! - he said.
- Better late than dead. - Enzo replied.
- The proverb is better late than never.
- Fuck the saying, Vini!
- You know I tried to warn Julio, right?
Enzo smiled wryly.
- Yes, I know. I know.
- Look, when class is over, I'm going to talk to Belgium.
- Do you know what I found out? - Enzo abruptly changed the subject. - Pacifier's mother changed her car.
Pacifier was one of the students in Vini and Enzo's class. Fat, arrogant and a show-off, the big gossip was that his father made a lot of money from drug and illegal gun trafficking, but nothing was ever established against him or the family. Although the son was a pest, Pacifier's mother was very kind and good-humored.
- What's wrong with that? - Vini questioned.
- Pacifier was bragging about his new car for a week, remember? And now another one arrives, even better looking and more expensive.
Enzo was right. Suzane, Pacifier's mother, showed up in the parking lot behind the wheel of a magnificent Jaguar F-Pace, considerably expensive even by neighborhood standards, but not so expensive by school standards.
- Get ready for the Pacifier's bullshit show. - Enzo moaned. - Today is going to be a shit show.
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And it didn't take long. Only this time, Pacifiers crossed the line. He appeared in the room wearing a gold chain, a pair of black tennis shoes and a colorful jacket. Maybe he was coming out of a Snoop Dogg concert or a Village People cover.
- Hello, losers. - said Dummies to Vini and Enzo.
- Hello, Pacifier. - Vini answered, not very cheerful, looking at the parking lot. - Nice car out there. The traffic must pay very well.
Chupeta didn't take the teasing lying down. He simply ignored the comment and went on with his life. Out of the corner of his eye and for a second, Vini noticed red marks on Pacifier's fingers. Sure, Vini knew about the bad in that family, it was not a secret. But a bully? That was a new thing. And having the sensitivity for this kind of situation was one of his qualities. He found the situation strange. So he called Enzo into a corner and asked for a few minutes of his time.
- Enzo, look at Pacifier.
- Couldn't you give me a better suggestion? You have so many of those. Belgium, the red-headed teacher...
- That you slept with... - Vini added. - But, focus! Look at his hands.
Without much enthusiasm, Enzo obeyed, but found nothing relevant.
- Use your superpower.
- You say that my superpower is useless.
- And it is useless. So use it for something meaningful.
From a young age, Enzo developed an incredible supervision from a distance. While visiting the Urca hill with the view of the national airport on a sunny Sunday day, Enzo was able to see the number and letters identifying the aircraft from meters away. From that day on, Vini called Enzo's vision one of his two superpowers.
- I'm telling you, Enzo, there is something wrong with Pacifier.
- There has been something wrong with that fatass since his birth.
- I'm serious, Enzo.
So was he.
- So am I.
Belgium stepped up behind Enzo. With a quick hand movement, Vini asked Enzo to shut up.
- Hello boys. - she said nicely.
- Hi Belgium. - said Vini, a little awkwardly.
- So, when are you guys going to get together?
Vini froze instantly, like the troops after the helicopter crash in The Day After Tomorrow. Belgium just thought it was cute and laughed, but Vini, if he could, would have killed Enzo with his bare hands.
- If it depends on him, never. - Belgium was direct.
- You see, Vini. It's your fault. Again.
But Vini was in a rage.
- Enzo, the only reason I don't shoot a box in your head is because it's not heavy enough to kill you.
- Belgium, we have been here for four chapters and thirty-three pages in Word without anything relevant happening and nothing Vini could talk to you about.
- Enzo... - Vini tried to interrupt him.
- Ah," Enzo raised his voice and finger. - You had your chance, slowpoke. - Belgium, will you go out with Vini tonight?
- Well... fine by me.
- And Vini, will you go out with this genuine... Person?
Vini smiled wryly.
- I do, you idiot.
- Well, then I declare us, coward and... chick in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Enzo was efficient. In the end, Vini could thank him, but instead...
- You didn't help at all.
- Oh, I didn't really mean to. But look on the bright side. You got a date.
- Yeah, but now Belgium thinks I'm desperate.
- Aren't you?
- Yes, I am. But I didn't want her to know that!
- Oh, Vini, you silly boy. Ladies have a sixth sense for these things. They can smell lies, cheap perfume, and deep psychology.
- Deep psychology?
- Don't argue with my logic, Vini.
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