I woke up before Sam, a couple days into our break, and quietly left the room to get breakfast. A gallon of milk and boxes of cereal were set out on the kitchen table for the children in case they couldn’t stomach the grits and cheesy mushroom omelets my grandmother cooked. One of my cousins groggily entered the kitchen and gestured to help him pour the milk into his bowl. I said, “Nothing better than sugar to start the day,” to which he simply grunted and lifted the bowl for me to start pouring.

I sat beside my grandfather in silence as he was watching the news; the crawling text on the screen warned of a coming mana storm. While it was of no concern to me, there were some in the family not resistant to mana, so I was encouraged to stay home all the same; trying to keep things fair to my cousins who were now stuck inside for the foreseeable future.

Having my fill of grits, and a bit of omelet, I went back to the bedroom—half expecting Sam to still be asleep. How unfortunate it was for me to enter when I did, as Sam was actually in a state of undress.

“Eli!” Sam’s voice cracked. He stood in clear view of me with an arm covering his chest and a white towel imprinted with red fish around his waist.

I froze. His meek frame and pale skin turned something in my chest. I looked him in the eyes, which were still their usual brown color, but with a faint glow. His brown hair lost color at the root where it parted in the front. Even his face was a bit different, carrying a gentler complexion, but still recognizable.

“Why are you staring?” he asked, red in the face, but relaxing a bit.

“Your eyes,” I choked.

“I know. I’d like to get dressed, first… Unless you plan on watching.”

“Right…” I closed the door and turned my back to it.

Sam spoke softly through the door shortly after. “Okay. I’m ready.”

I reentered the room with Sam fully dressed for the day. He smiled, his eyes glowing like a blue ember wanting to spark into a full flame. He lifted his shaggy hair to reveal his ears which were starting to sharpen at the edge.

“Shit.” I got a bit frantic. “I’ll help you pack, and we’ll go—”

Sam grabbed the back of my shirt as I rushed past him to gather everything up. “Don’t worry,” he said in an uneasy tone. “I can take care of myself.”

I shook my head. “Sam, you’re going to the hospital. You’ll become an abomination if you don’t get help.”

The glow in his eyes died down seemingly by his sheer force of will. “Seriously, it’s fine. I kinda expected this to happen… I was just hoping until after Christmas. Don’t make me go yet… I can handle it a bit longer, I promise!”

I frowned. “What if you enter a coma?”

Sam laughed. “Then you’ll have to drag my unconscious ass back to Sorrow. No point in worrying about it until then.”

There was already reason to worry. He should’ve already been in a coma if he was far enough along to physically change. Still, in the back of my mind, I knew it could very well be the last time I’d see him alive and didn’t have the heart to deny his request.

“Fine. A couple more hours. But I expect to be back in Sorrow before sundown.”

Excitedly, Sam packed his things as we discussed what to do with what little time we had left. My family was surprised to see us leave the house, especially with a storm coming, but a single look at Sam told them all they needed to know.

❦ ❦ ❦

I took Sam to the nearby Bavarian-styled town for a couple hours of leisure. The town was quite festive as Christmas decorations adorned the trees and lights had been strung up on the fascia of the buildings. Sam wore a Santa hat and sunglasses to hide his more obvious changes—to not alarm anyone we might meet.

Sam said, “My parents used to take me here when I was younger,” as we started crossing the bridge along the main street, a river rushing below us. “They always talked about living here near the river. I think it’d be pretty nice, but way too expensive. Your grandparents must be pretty wealthy to actually live nearby.”

“I suppose. They’re thinking of selling off all their property and moving to Florida, though. It all depends on if I end up running the company or not.”

“Is that what you’re gonna do after you graduate?”

“I’d like to. Otherwise, I might be stuck in Sorrow forever.”

Sam laughed. “You and me both.”

For me, it was enough to see and listen to the river. Sam wanted to walk around and shop, however, so I let him lead. The shopping area wasn’t as crowded compared to the summer months; the local tourism was mainly based around outdoor recreation—and the soon-to-be inclement weather certainly didn’t help.

When we got towards the center of town, Sam said, “I always try to visit this place first.” He outpaced me and went into the prominent candy shop which had been there since the seventies. I enjoyed watching Sam point at all of the candy on display and comment on his preferences. “Gummi raspberries!” he exclaimed in a half-whisper to not disturb those around us. “My favorite.”

Sam purchased a bag of red and black raspberries along with some fudge. The cashier, a human, reminded us of the weather and asked us to stay safe. Sam merely nodded and shook the bag of candy at me with a big smile as we left. “I’m going to eat all the red ones. You can have the rest.”

I shook my head. “I’m not one for sweets.”

“Then your heart is like the black ones. Probably tastes like them too.”

We eventually found ourselves in a store filled with imported goods. Wooden clocks were on display along with a multitude of beer steins and nesting dolls. Sam was specifically interested in the nesting dolls, as he was quick to take one apart and examine its contents. While many were what I would consider traditional, there was a display of contemporary ones that caught my eye. They were all depictions of the pre-Convergence races, mainly therians and valkyries, along with a photo of a four-piece devil family. I thought it’d be a good gift for Blinds despite him not celebrating Christmas, but the biggest doll, the father, was missing from the actual product; so I decided against it and continued browsing alone.

High up on a neighboring shelf was a nesting doll depicting a wolf girl in a white wedding dress. The painted brown fur reminded me of Lyca, so I took it down to get a better look at it.

Sam walked over to me and said, “That one looks pretty cute. I wonder what’s inside?”

“Only one way to find out.” I twisted the wooden doll apart to reveal a wolf boy with gray fur wearing a tuxedo. “Another therian,” I said and quickly opened the next. Inside was a fox girl that looked strikingly similar to Vivi dressed as a bridesmaid. “Look who came after all,” I joked.

Sam wasn’t so pleased. “There’s another one inside it.” And he was right. It was a cat therian with ragdoll patterned fur, though I couldn’t tell the gender.

“A ring bearer,” I said while looking it over.

Sam pointed out a barely visible crease in the doll. “Another one.”

The final doll was a rabbit girl with pure white fur—evidently the flower girl with her red rose petals. “A five-piece wedding set,” I said. “I think Lyca will appreciate it.”

“You’re getting it for her? Really?”

I put the dolls back together and looked at the price. “It’s a bit steep, but maybe she’ll accept it as both a Christmas and birthday gift.”

“Hm,” Sam grunted without speaking his mind.

I went up to the register with no one in sight. A sign on the counter told us to ring the bell for service. I hit the nearby silver bell which let out a satisfying ring. A man’s voice then came from the back room in response: “Ah! The bell!”

I was surprised to see a mothman with light fur across his entire body and pitch-black eyes coming to greet us, bending two of his four arms towards his chest in a bow. A bunch of bushy white fur covered his neck and lower body, leaving his chest and extremities exposed. The tuft of fur on his head was shaped into a simple human hairstyle with two feathery antennae coming out above his eyes.

Sam was quick to identify the monster: “Wow! An actual iigaahkr!”

The mothman stared plainly at Sam after his butchered pronunciation. “Soloth will suffice, human.” He turned towards me and asked, “You are here to purchase, yes?”

“Yeah.” I placed the nesting doll on the counter. The gentlemanly moth used his upper pair of arms to wrap up the doll while his lower arms worked the register. I handed him cash while he bagged my purchase.

“You have good tastes,” he said. “That one is of my creation.”

“You make nesting dolls?” asked Sam.

“I take the blanks and give them purpose. Each one unique.” He tore off the receipt and handed it to me. “Treat them well.”

I gave him a nod. “I will.”

The gentlemanly moth bowed once more and said, “Happy human holiday,” before returning to his craft in the back room.

Sam and I left the shop and crossed the street to continue our walk through town in reverse. The air was noticeably warmer, the sky churning above us. Radiant specks and tiny crystalized bits of mana were starting to form in the air, almost like snow, but never falling.

I looked to Sam to see if he was really okay with staying outside. He simply gave a smile and continued on, saying, “You know, Eli, there’s a coin flip for every emergence.”

“A coin flip?”

“Yeah!”

“Like how some lose their humanity?”

Sam paused. “Well, beyond that.”

I sighed. “You’re gonna have to explain.”

He scratched his head. “Ah, you see, like… imagine a caterpillar in a cocoon. Everything gets all mixed up during emergence. You’re never really sure what comes out. There’s a chance that I’ll… well…”

“Look different?”

Sam looked down the road and furrowed his brow. “Yeah. Look different.”

“I imagine you’ll look like an elf—like how most who retain their humanity turn out. Your ears and eyes are already looking the part.”

He shook his head. “That’s not really what I mean, Eli. I just… I hope you’ll still be my friend after. Because I’ll still be the same person.”

I felt a tinge of sadness in his voice, causing me to worry a bit more than I should. “Of course,” I responded. “Of course—”

Sam suddenly threw all of his weight into me in a hug. He leaned his head into my shoulder and stayed there for longer than I was comfortable with. “Time to go.”

A black van approached us from the bridge, and our path was cut off by a ginger-haired man and woman in riot gear coming from the alley between the stores beside us—agents of the Arbiters. For a brief moment I thought they had come for me, yet the two pointed their rifles at Sam instead.

The man said, “Vacation’s over. You’re coming with us.”

Sam let go of me and frowned. “It’s okay, you two. I submit.”

The woman came towards me, still pointing her rifle at Sam, and pushed me out of the way. The man forcibly grabbed Sam’s arm, scattering his gummi raspberries on the ground, and handcuffed him.

“Hey, I just bought those!” yelled Sam. “Damn, these cuffs are cold...”

The black van pulled up beside me, the driver stepping out. He was an unusually tall black-haired devil, wearing the Arbiters’ standard suit and sunglasses. He observed the situation and said, “You’re breaking my heart, Sam—making me come all the way out here.”

Sam was laying on his knees and smiled. “Long time no see, Arbiter Sid.”

The arbiter waved his hand at the two agents. They lowered their guns and grabbed Sam between the arms. “Perhaps I was not clear when I told you originally. You are not to leave Sorrow until your condition resolves itself. For any reason.”

“It’s not like I left the state,” Sam said with some smugness. “Tomorrow’s Christmas. Can’t you let me off with a warning?”

“Hm… I am feeling a little festive. I’ll consider it, but you still have to come with us.” He pointed at Sam’s wrists. “Consider that your gift.”

The two agents walked Sam towards the van. And in their forceful movement, Sam’s Santa hat fell off his head.

“Hold it,” said Sid. He pulled off Sam’s sunglasses and checked his ears. “Seems like Christmas came early.”

The female agent spoke up, “Change of plans, boss?”

“Yeah. Take ‘em off.”

The male agent sighed and undid the cuffs. Visible marks were left on Sam’s wrists that quickly faded away as he rubbed them.

Sid placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Surprised you’re not in a coma.”

“About that,” said Sam, before losing consciousness and collapsing onto him.

The arbiter sighed. “This kid is such a damn headache.”

Arbiter Sid easily carried Sam into the van with the two agents following him inside. None of them acknowledged me, obviously occupied with their duties, leaving me standing alone with the scattered candy. I reached down to salvage what I could of Sam’s bag and felt a raindrop on the back of my hand. When I looked up, the sky had become a distortion of color with an aurora much larger and more vibrant than any mana storm I had seen before. The glittering stillness soon came pouring down and trapped me between buildings with nothing to do but watch the black van drive away.

❦ ❦ ❦

When I returned to the villa, Rosa was waiting outside in the mana storm. She wore a brown robe which repelled the rain, refusing to become wet, and concealing all but the lower part of her face. She floated gently above the ground so as to not allow herself to stand in the newly-formed mire, coming over to my car so that she may sit with me in the driveway.

“Your grandmother called me,” she said while pulling back the hood of her robe, her crimson hair materializing and falling into a mess. “How is your friend?”

“The Arbiters took him away.”

“I’m sure he’s in good hands, then. He’d already be dead if it was a problem.”

Rosa’s form was visibly in flux as she fixed her messy hair. The body parts that were concealed by the folds in the robe were black at the edges. It was as though she was the robe itself with nothing inside of it, merely manifesting her body as needed. It was a phenomenon I thought to be similar to how shades form their bodies despite having no true physical existence. So I asked her, “What do mara normally look like?”

“A mirror,” she said matter-of-factly.

“A mirror?”

She nodded as though it didn’t need any further explanation.

“I don’t understand.”

The realization soon came to her. “Oh! I mean that we reflect those around us. We mara, by our very nature, can only exist in context. Which is to say that we don’t know what we look like, either.”

“Then… how you look now… is that only how I see you, or everyone?”

“Depends. I do have some control over that, but it’s just an illusion. Your brain will fill in the blanks, so there’s a chance I look slightly different to someone else. But I should mostly be the same person… if that makes sense.”

“And without the illusion, then…?”

“I’d be a reflection of what you want to see. Probably a regular human in your case. Maybe a chimera. Or maybe your worst nightmare.” For a brief second, her eyes turned red, and everything outside the vehicle became black, then everything returned back to normal. “Whatever it is, it would also have an effect on my behavior towards you. I prefer being me, though. It’s how I want to be; even if it is an illusion.”

“You, but better,” I said, thinking of Sam.

“I’m already the best ‘me’ I can be.” She stretched her arms and adjusted her back in the chair. “But I am starting to get old-fashioned. The younger, more ‘hip’ mara all appear as devils with wings now. Alps they call themselves! It’s ridiculous.”

“I heard they’re—” I placed a hand on my chest in response to a sudden pain, sputtering a bit of white ooze from my mouth. “Damn.”

“You alright there?” she asked without much urgency.

“Yeah.” I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. “I’m worried about Sam.”

“And I’m worried about you. You still haven’t told your friends, have you?”

“No. I’d rather they remember as I am. I don’t want to worry them with the inevitable.”

“It would give them time to prepare. A human can bounce back pretty quick, but I don’t think Beth will be able to handle it.”

“She’ll survive. She’s strong like that.”

“I won’t be too happy when it happens, either.”

“I know—that’s why I put up with you.”

The rain became heavier on the roof of the car. It was near impossible to look out the windows, the sparkling radiance obscured everything beyond the glass. Our conversation ended; Rosa’s mere presence was enough for comfort. And I thought to myself, that whatever comes next would have to wait until the storm is over.