《Pilgrims and Fulcrums》Penguin Angst
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So cute,
cuddly,
black and white -
who could resist that
waddling walk or those
flightlessly flapping wings
Me. I could.
They scare me.
Don't show me
baby penguin videos,
penguin documentaries,
or that picture of the widowed penguins
who always watch the sunset
together.
Because
to me, penguins
have everything
I can't have.
I'd do anything
(almost)
to go where cuddliness
is valued -
where some cute fella
would give me a pebble
to be my always.
I would even live in the freezing cold.
I would even... wear black.
(Okay, maybe that's taking it too far.)
Give me the cartoon penguins that
slap each other and
cause explosions and
eat junk food -
and make my monster seem
less scary.
Because it's not the happy endings
that scare me - it's that
it's not the end.
What happens when
always-pebble-guy leaves
on a fishing trip and never quite
makes it home?
What happens when
our precious-baby-egg
freezes on the ice?
What happens when
my pieced-together-heart
breaks all over again?
Penguins remind me of
the day creation Fell -
Fell and broke - that
all creation groans
in the brokenness.
Broken means
not quite together - even when
side by side.
Penguins are scary
because they seem perfect, but
they're not...
and just like me,
they wait for the day when
we can reach out and
truly hold.
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