Chapter 3

Jan. 29, 1999–

Damien sat idly in his seminar lecture. His face was morose; dull and disconnected from his professor’s words. He tapped his pencil at the edge of his notebook and allowed his thoughts to consume him again. Aaliyah was the only face he could see. Her low, hooded eyes of dark amber, lips soft like cotton candy, and skin smooth like cocoa butter shea. She was beautiful in his mind, but ugly in his heart.

Once his seminar professor wrapped up the lecture for the class, Damien was the last to leave the room. He followed a brooding crowd of college students through a wide corridor inside the Communications Building. He was alone amongst a sea of youthful intellects, but he didn’t care. Damien was only now getting used to being alone.

The student union was packed. Hundreds of UW students and personnel migrated back and forth like mindless zombies in a ventilated box. Damien was among them; a lost agent filled with only despair that clouded his judgment. And to that despair, he had shockingly come face to face with it.

“Damien,” Aaliyah said strikingly.

His face went numb. He could barely feel the warm breath of heat leave his nose to cool his pulsating heart. It was like he was staring at a ghost. No words spilled from his mouth, but only a quick, heavy sigh to calm his agitated nerves.

“Hey,” he said in a low, hummed voice.

Aaliyah caressed the side of her arm to relieve the awkwardness between them. Her eyes often drifted to avoid prolonged contact with him. She too couldn’t find any words to say and hoped that he would find the arrogance to walk away.

“How are you?” he asked.

Aaliyah held her tongue and gave an uncomfortable chuckle.

“I’m good,” she said almost unsurely. “How have you been?”

Damien too hesitated for an answer. He wanted to be honest with himself but found discomfort in giving Aaliyah any indication that he was afflicted more than she was.

“I’ve been good,” Damien said as he cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’ve just been working. You know. School.”

“Yeah, no, I feel you,” Aaliyah said as she held up one of her textbooks.

And there it was again. That awkward silence. The one that slowly peeled away at their sanity and made it difficult for them to seem normal. As if anything was ever normal between them. They stood in the middle of traffic which dragged for a while. Students started to question whether or not they would move to a less claustrophobic space.

“Maybe we should move,” Aaliyah suddenly suggested.

“Oh, yeah,” Damien said as he pushed himself to the side. “Do you wanna sit down somewhere?”

She hoped he wouldn’t say that, but a part of her wanted to chat a little, to see how he was.

“Sure,” she said.

Damien could tell she was pressed for an answer; as if she had to say yes. But he didn’t care. He hadn’t seen her in months, and to finally be able to confront his problems was an opportunity he didn’t want to give up. He walked around the crowd and found tables in the east corridor. It was a small, comfortable spot where students would sit, eat, study, or wait for their next class. They sat between two tables occupied by students, pretending they were just meeting for a casual conversation.

“Did you just get out of class?” Damien asked.

“Yeah, I had my analytics class this morning,” Aaliyah said. “What about you?”

“Communications,” Damien said. “It was boring.”

Aaliyah nodded, unsure how to respond to that. Damien immediately saw her disinterest. He knew the small talk was only a ruse to distance himself from what had been bothering him since the breakup. He tried to ease his way into that conversation but subconsciously stopped himself.

“Were you still looking for a job?” Damien asked.

“Uh, not really,” Aaliyah admitted. “You know with school just starting and picking up so many classes, I don’t know if working is a good idea for me right now.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Damien said.

Aaliyah could tell he was trying to be genuine.

“Are you still working at Skate Palace?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Damien said almost disappointingly. “But I’m thinking about finding another job. I want to move out pretty soon and get a new place downtown. I already have some spots I’m looking into.”

Aaliyah rolled her eyes discreetly. She knew he was trying to appeal to her with how he’s been doing, but she didn’t want to discredit anything he was saying, mainly because she had no reason not to believe him.

“Nice,” Aaliyah said. “It sounds like you’re really focusing on yourself.”

Her tone seemed envious to him. Damien wanted her to know that he was doing better, but was almost scared he would push her away if he continued to act egotistical.

“Well, I mean, I’m trying,” Damien said. “It’s not easy, ya know.”

Aaliyah assumed he was referring to their breakup. She tried to avoid that avenue of talking about what happened three months ago, but not enough time had passed to safely escape that conversation completely. It was still fresh like an open wound.

“But you always knew how to keep yourself busy,” Aaliyah said in a genuine, sarcastic tone. “I remember how crazy you were after high school on getting a job. I mean sure, Skate Palace wasn’t at the top of your list, but you made it work, ya know.”

“Yeah, I also remember you clowning me for wearing my prom suit to the interview,” Damien said in an embarrassed chuckle.

Aaliyah cracked an enforceable grin as she thought about his prom suit.

“You looked good, though!” she said genuinely. “And I bet it left a really great impression on your manager that day.”

“Oh, see, now you’re just mocking me,” Damien pleaded.

“What?” Aaliyah said in a shocking whisper. “No, you really did look good. And besides, weren’t you the one mocking me about not knowing what a corsage was?”

“How did you not know what a corsage was?” Damien asked.

“I don’t know,” Aaliyah said. “And you didn’t even know what hand it was supposed to go on, so don’t come at me like that.”

“I still can’t believe you dropped it in the toilet,” Damien laughed.

“I still can’t believe you tried pop-locking to disco,” Aaliyah rolled her eyes with a smile.

They both laughed to themselves, finding amusement in their most embarrassing moments together. Damien showed a subtle charm that brought Aaliyah out of her comfort zone. As they sat back and reminisced about the early years of their relationship, both Damien and Aaliyah found it unexpected they shared a moment of clarity with each other. A moment had passed when they looked into each other’s eyes and saw their younger, more naive self that still shared the same love and commitment as before. But somewhere in that moment was a bell that went off in their heads. A bell so loud yet so inaudible it made for a traumatic reminder about what happened three months ago.

Aaliyah’s eyes moved down to the table. Damien had done the same. They sat there in awkward silence, both unable to look at each other. Damien wondered what was going through her head. He was eager to know how she was feeling and it tortured him the longer he was left in suspense. That opportunity to express everything he felt about her was no longer there, but he was too insecure to see that. Damien swallowed his pride and looked back at Aaliyah.

“I miss you,” he said.

Aaliyah felt the woozy sensation of butterflies fill her stomach. It was so intense that she had to fix herself in her seat, and as she tried to counter his emotional plea, her throat swelled shut.

“Damien,” she said softly.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, Aaliyah,” Damien confessed boldly. “I can’t stop thinking about us and what we had. Everything we’ve been through together. It’s like every small detail that goes on in my life reminds me of you and how much you really mean to me–”

“Damien, please,” Aaliyah urged.

“And I can only wish there was something I could have done differently to make you stay but–” Damien continued as he suddenly lost his words. “I feel like I’m nothing without you.”

Aaliyah sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.

“I know it might sound crazy to hear but it’s the truth,” Damien insisted.

“But it’s not, Damien,” Aaliyah countered. “You knew exactly what we had together, and you didn’t even consider trying to make things work when everything went bad.”

“I know and I’m sorry for that,” Damien said. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Yeah, I know,” Aaliyah said as she folded her arms.

“But I’ve changed,” Damien insisted. “And if you could give me a second chance to prove that–”

“Are you serious?” Aaliyah said firmly. “Do you really think I would give you a second chance just because you said you’ve changed in the last three months? Your words don’t mean shit to me, Damien. You know that.”

“Then what do you want me to say?” he asked sternly.

“I don’t want you to say anything,” Aaliyah said. “You always try to manipulate me into feeling sorry for the mistakes you make and I’m over it. You and I are not a thing anymore, Damien. I’ve moved on and I think you should do the same.”

“Oh yeah because it’s that easy, right?” Damien asked sarcastically. “I bet you’re already fucking some dude who probably doesn’t even give a shit about you.”

“And what if I am?” Aaliyah asked. “Why would you be mad about that? We’re not together, remember?”

“What’s his name then?” Damien asked. “How long have you guys been seeing each other for?”

“That’s none of your business,” Aaliyah affirmed. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“And there you go again trying to act entitled like you’re some sort of bitchy celebrity,” Damien said.

“What the fuck?” Aaliyah slurred.

“You always used to keep things from me to avoid hurting my “feelings” when actually it was just to hide your fucking insecurities,” Damien expressed harshly. “Always wanted to play the victim and keep shit to yourself. Maybe that’s why I had trust issues when it came to you avoiding conversations you knew I would get mad about.”

Aaliyah paused and glared at Damien wrongly. She couldn’t believe what he had told her and wanted to lash out about everything that was wrong with him. However, she knew if she did, it would only fuel his ego, and there wasn’t anything she could do to stop him from continuing the argument.

“Wow,” Aaliyah said with a broken smile. “You really haven’t changed at all.”

“You don’t know what I’m going through,” Damien said. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“No, you’re right, Damien, I wouldn’t understand,” Aaliyah said. “And I think that’s the problem between us. We don’t understand each other. We never did. And us breaking up was probably the best thing we could have done for each other.”

Aaliyah grabbed her things and stood from the table.

“Bye, Damien,” she said hastily without looking at him.

Aaliyah left Damien alone in the middle of a crowded room. He sat there, quiet, and thinking. His head was spinning as he replayed her words over and over again. Everything he had predetermined about their breakup was true. She had no love for him and believed they were no good for each other. Damien clenched his teeth as tight as he could and leaned into his chair, foolishly slamming the table to grab the attention of other students around him. He composed himself momentarily and eventually left the student union for his next class.

The day felt like an eternity. Once his studies were over, Damien returned to his apartment. He was exhausted. As soon as he entered his place he slammed the door shut and threw his backpack against the wall. He paced around his absent-colored living room with his hands balled up into fists. It wasn’t long until he threw quick, heavy jabs into the wall which slightly cut his right knuckle. His skin peeled, a sting of blood dripped to his fingertips. Damien ignored the pain as he was already tortured mentally.

He sat down on the couch and thought. He tried to alleviate the tension that brewed in his mind by breathing steadily. It was difficult, however, and it only made it worse for him. Damien suddenly had an untamed urge to pick up the phone and call Aaliyah. He dialed her number recklessly without watching the numbers; occasionally getting a line that was disconnected. He eventually dialed her number correctly and waited. Each long, grueling ring heightened his anxiety, terrified that Aaliyah wouldn’t answer his call. He tried over and over and over again until it finally went to voicemail. Damien violently slammed the phone into the line and sat back on the couch.

His eyes feverishly watched the telephone from a distance; waiting for her to call back. All the while he continued to let his thoughts eat away at him. The idea of her moving on and finding someone else got to him. Damien couldn’t stand to think that there was another guy she was giving her time to. It was a selfish thing to think about, but Damien didn’t care. She too expressed an amount of self-centeredness that made him believe he wasn’t good enough. Aaliyah knew what irked him and how to make him feel sorry about himself. Everything he once thought beautiful and serene about her was now a wreckage that transcended into a cluster-fuck of madness. Damien only saw hate and jealousy as it slowly brewed inside him. He tried not to let it consume him when they first broke up, but now, he allowed every ounce of malignity to take control of his well-being and it turned him into something ugly.

The night quickly descended over the city. The moon glittered atop the black buildings near Elliott Bay. Countless shards were dispersed onto clouded dust as sedans and SUVs barreled down the gates of the West Seattle Bridge. In the distance, the metropolitan city struck bright in the cold sky.

Trinity was the scene for the night. It was a sprawling venue dedicated to house-music, Asian themed cocktails, and plush VIP lounges for residential celebrities. An exotic spot that separated itself from the city. Everyone who lived in Seattle knew of how popular it was, as well as how pricey.

In the heart of the nightclub, hundreds of party-goers carelessly let the electrifying synths flow through their bodies. A mix of neon-strobe lights, house music, and hard liquor was enough to make the night a memorable experience. However, amid the galvanized climate of celebration, a young college student found himself aimlessly wandering through a crowd of hypnotic androids.

Damien awkwardly embraced the environment as he tried to blend in. His tucked geometric-print button-down shirt, faded blue Levi’s, and creased 98 Air Max was a fashionable travesty. He clearly stood out from those who wore designer clothes and drove expensive cars. It was embarrassing to think he even had a chance of getting a girl’s number. But ironically, he was persistent in doing exactly that.

Damien closed in near the dance floor. He stood a couple of feet away from the bar, holding a dry spritzer in his hand. His eyes searched carefully for a possible candidate. A tall, busty young woman with dirty blonde hair danced casually with her friend who was equally as tipsy. Damien took a sip from his spritzer and made his move. As he shimmered through the crowd with his eyes still drawn on her, he immediately stopped as another man approached her. He was clean-cut, well-dressed, and had a charming smile. It only took a few words for him to make her laugh, and that was enough for Damien to retreat back to the bar.

His search desperately continued. Damien was halfway down his drink as he glared into the pulsating crowd. As the music exalted and the vivid lights veered on the dance floor, Damien found his next candidate. A young, rosy-cheeked brunette with easy eyes stood with her friends near the VIP area. Her timid and aloof behavior made it easy for Damien to pursue. He quickly finished his spritzer and made his move.

“Hey,” Damien said with a cheesy smile.

She was unresponsive. The music was too loud and she didn’t hear him at first. Damien then awkwardly tapped her shoulder and repeated his greeting.

“Hey,” he said a bit more obviously.

She glanced at him for less than a second and turned her head back to her friend. Damien grew stiff and uncomfortable. He casually looked around the club before trying to get her attention again. This time he gently caressed her arm and she was quick to react fiercely.

“What do you want?” she asked.

Her response caught Damien off guard.

“I was wondering if you wanted to dance,” he said unsurely. “I saw you from across the bar and thought you wanted to dance or something.”

“No, thank you,” she said as she turned back to her friend.

“Are you sure?” Damien asked once more.

She ignored him and moved away with her friend. Damien shook his head in disappointment and bailed out. He walked back to the bar and sat solely with his head down like a scared dog. He contemplated his irrational decision to go out to a hectic environment while trying to find a possible girlfriend. It was weak of him, he thought. Petty and senseless only to get back at his ex. But the thought of her was drilled into his skull like a permanent scar. No matter what he did or how hard he tried to erase her from his mind, it hurt him nonetheless.

“You are so bad at this,” a soft, seductive voice braced his left ear.

Damien quickly turned to see a fiery vixen leaning against the bar. She wore a sleeveless red turtleneck with black latex jeans and faux suede lace-up heels. Though what drew his attention was her sharp, piercing eyes. Her full lips that were slightly glossed, and the crystal necklace that hung from her slender neck was recognizable. Damien immediately knew it had been the same young woman from the skating rink.

“Do I know you?” Damien asked stupidly.

“I hope so,” she said with a gentle smirk. She had her back towards the bar with her elbows resting at the edge of the counter.

Damien eased into his seat and let out a shy chuckle.

“I remember you from the skating rink,” Damien said.

“So you do know me,” she gasped sarcastically. “I was worried you might have forgotten about me.”

Damien let out the same shy chuckle. He could feel her sharp eyes blazing the side of his face as he dared not to look at her. She slowly turned around towards the bar and leaned closer to Damien.

“So are you going to buy me a drink?” she asked.

Damien cleared his throat and searched the club discreetly.

“Aren’t you here with your boyfriend?” Damien asked anxiously.

“I don’t know,” she said slyly. “What do you think?”

Damien swiftly made eye contact with her and it mesmerized him. Her calm, seductive enthrall was a language Damien could hardly understand. Although her talk was smooth and concise, it was enough to make men tremble and puzzled for words. But Damien figured if she were to play the game, he would at least try to win.

"What do you like?” Damien asked.

She gave the most enticing smile as she lured Damien into her trap. She then leaned closer to him, her lips only inches from his ear, and in a warm, melodic whisper she said, “Surprise me”. She settled back as Damien called for the bartender.

“A Hawaiian martini,” he said.

The bartender prepped the glass and grabbed his ingredients. He mixed the Absoult with coconut rum and smeared the rim with a slice of pineapple. Damien slid a ten across the counter and told him to keep the change. However, once he grabbed the drink, he turned to see that the young woman was no longer standing next to him. He quickly made sight of the crowded dancehall and VIP lounge. She was nowhere to be found, but as he hopelessly continued to search, a quick breeze swept his right side, and the young woman snatched the martini from his grasp. She knocked it down like a shot and licked the pineapple juice from her lips. And without saying a single word, she locked hands with his and led him out to the dance floor.

A rainbow coalition of neon lights bounded the animated creatures that danced chaotically to the unwieldy sound of electronic beats. The young woman wrapped herself around Damien provocatively and caressed against his body. Every movement was like poetry. Her arms waved from side to side above her head, hips vibrating to the sonic cadence. Damien tried to match her rhythm but he couldn’t come close. She twirled to face him, slowly moving back while staring him down, and danced like a magnetic siren.

Everyone who lingered around her subconsciously moved aside. As they continued their subtle yet pervasive movements, the young woman showed a sexy display of a light samba that strangely matched with the rapid sound. Women were envious but equally intrigued as the men who watched. Damien was but a critic in the audience as he too was captivated by her unique dance. She was free and exhilarated and it showed. Her quick, hypnotic movements slowly collided with Damien. Her arms wrapped around his back, her cold hands caressing his neck, and her lustrous lips meeting his. At first, it was like a cold whisper in the night that quickly ignited his brain. Her warmth, like liquid fire, oozed through his body unconditionally. From there on he was addicted to her touch, a supernatural feeling that was indescribably euphoric.

Midnight instantly drew out into the early hours of 3 AM. Trinity was less vibrant as those who danced and drank and partied left for the hour. For those who did stay, however, two were intoxicated by a feverish lust that carried out to the back of the nightclub. Damien and his fiery dame were posted against the cold, dark alley as they continued to kiss.

Each kiss a bursting shot that separated them. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb caressing her cold cheek as their tongues swirled in each other’s mouths. She ran her fingers down his chiseled chest, feeling his beating heart the more his breath quickened. Damien began to nuzzle her neck with delicious pecks that numbed her. She angled her head slightly above his titled neck and could smell the blood coursing through his veins. As her breath grew weak, her eyes glistened a dark tint, and her mouth widened. She held back for a moment until Damien was brought back to her lips. And in that sharp, fleeting second, she bit his lower lip.

Damien shot back unexpectedly with a painful moan. He felt his blood leak from his lower lip down to his chin. The young woman shot back as well, frantic as her skin scorched hot. Her eyes glinted a sinister black as she pulled Damien in and licked the blood from his chin. Her lips swiftly moved to his again, and although it was impulsive, Damien didn’t care. Their lusty investment carried on in that cold, dark alley until the crescent moon revealed itself amid the stark clouds that suspended over the somber city.