《The Wizard of Ounces》Chapter 13: The Last Temptation of the Door
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Chapter 13: The Last Temptation of the Door
"Should we open it?" asked Bob.
'I recon," said Jazz.
"Or we could just take this to the Wizard. He gets what he wants and we get what we want, that's business," said Lefty.
"Aren't you the least bit curious, Lefty?" asked Juan. There could be a great treasure on the other side.
"There could also be death," said Lefty, "a good businessperson mitigates risk."
"When did you become a businessperson?" asked Bob.
"I have always been a businessperson, Bob, I just haven't been a legitimate one. Locked away in the shadowns, forgotten, I didn't 'ave much choice."
"Is that an accent I hear...oh never mind," said Bob.
"What do you think Teacher? asked Jazz.
"That will be a gold penny for my thoughts," said the Teacher.
"We don't have any money," said Jazz.
"We had some," said Bob, "but this gold dragon familiar took it."
"Credit," said the teacher.
"What?" replied Jazz.
"Credit. I may have not talked to a soul in years but I still remember how education is done. You pay me tomorrow for what I do for you today."
"We could just run you in," said Lefty.
"You won't though," said the Teacher, "I have what you want, council and wisdom."
"What you don't understand," said Lefty, "is I ain't so educated and I don't care nothing about no counicl and wisdom. I just don't want to be lorded over by the likes of you."
"I am not afraid of someone like you," said the Teacher, "and I am a businessperson myself. I have other things you may want. Legitamacy? Out of the shadows? It can be done."
Lefty grumbled: it'd be more fun to run you in.
But Jazz piped in, "Okay, it is a deal. What do you say, Teacher?"
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"You have heard the saying curiosity killed the cat, haven't you?"
"Yes," said Jazz.
"Well," said the Teacher, "whoever said that didn't know a thing about cats. Cats have nine lives and land on their feat. The way I see it is you've been fated to come here and look behind this door. What do you say?"
"Well" said Jazz, when he saw something move behind the teacher.
Juan came up from behind the Teacher, grabbed his arms, and pulled them behind his back.
The teacher's eyes grew big, his face turned red, and then it fell.
Juan had taken a silk scarf and tied his hands.
Jazz just watched.
"What happened?" siad the teacher. "Cat got your tongue?"
Then, Juan took the Teacher's head, and twisted it. The teacher's face disolved into gold mist.
"What the heck?" cried Bob.
"Gnarly," said Lefty.
The gold dust went up into the air, sparking, bursting into flames, and burning out like spent fireworks. Then, the burnt ashes reconfigured into the form of a gold dragon familiar, shimmering above them.
Jazz figured it wasn't much taller than his waist and it had glistening gold wings behind its back, flapping with golden grace, its golden tail wagging behind it.
Laughter started to fill the room, quietly at first, and then growing in volume and pitch.
I have never heard such beautiful music," said Jazz.
The message: nor ever will you, entered Jazz's head.
Somewhere in the ether of laughter a harmony of new sound intermixed.
Jazz was transfixed.
"Now, you will never know what is behind the door. It could be a sandwich for all you know. Golden, toasted, buttered bread. Meat, savory and divine. Lettuce, cool and crisp. Take one bite and you will be more than fine. You can be Rex...rex...rex...
And, the gold dragon familiar burst into millions of dzazing shiny lights moving outward at epic speeds and then disappeared.
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"Whoa!" said Bob.
"A most beautiful sight," said Juan.
"Yeah," said Jazz, shaking his head. "If I had not seen it, I don't think I'd have believed it."
"Now, I am kind of hungry," said Bob.
"I know what you mean," said Lefty, "let's open the door and if there is a sandwich, let's eat it."
"No!" shouted Jazz. "I think that is exactly what it wants us to do. We must fight the temptation."
"Tantalizing," said Juan.
Jazz turned quickly to Juan, and asked, "How did you know?"
Juan blushed. "I know a thing or two about temptation. I have even studied the arts of seduction. Okay, to be honest, it was just a guess. But, I felt like we were being seduced, even lead on."
"I feel so dirty," said Bob.
"I can't believe I fell for it," said Lefty. "the world is full of lies. Once you think there is truth, you are deluded and headed for heartbreak."
"Not sure the alternative is all the better. The world removed of its illusion can be even more
ugly. That is why a well-dressed woman is the pinnacle of beauty," said Juan.
Jazz's head hung to the ground, lost in contemplation.
For a moment, there was silence.
Then, there was the muffled sound of laughter coming from the other side of the door.
"Is that Familiar now on the other side of the door?" asked Bob.
Then through the laughter, there was banging coming the other side of the door.
Jazz could see the door vibrate with each bang.
"Let me out!" Bang. Bang. "Let me out," said the femine voice from behind the door.
"What happened to the laughter?" asked Bob.
"Dorothy!" shouted Juan, "Is that you?"
"Let me out!" Bang. Bang. "Let me out," said the femine voice, again, from behind the door.
"We should save her," said Bob.
"For once, I think I agree with Bob," said Juan.
"No!" screamed Lefty. "I don't believe it. It can't be Dorothy. She would talk to us differently."
"Maybe, she can't hear us," said Juan. "What if she is in some inter-dimentional prison completely unaware that we are on the other side of the door?"
"No!" screamed Lefty again. "Fool me once. I've met more than my fair share of business people. Clever people who make you think it is just your choice but they have already led you to the place where you think it is your will. This is exactly what that Familiar wants us to do."
The door continued to vibrate. "Let me out. Let me out," rang from it.
"I can't stand that sound," said Bob. "What if it is her and we abandon her to some horrible fate? I don't think I could live with myself. It is better to take a chance by opening the door then having to live with ourselves for having walked away."
Jazz stood up straight, and walked up to Bob. "Bob, you are a brave man, but I think Lefty is right. It is a trap. It is exactly what that beguiling gold dragon familiar wants us to do."
"What are we going to do? Just walk away?" pleaded Bob.
"Sometimes that is the better part of valor, Bob," said Jazz. "Why did we follow the golden dragon scale way in the first place? We may have been lured without thought from the very beginning?"
"Sandwiches," said Bob.
"Yes, sandwiches," sad Jazz. "Merely sandwiches."
"So, what do we do now?" asked Juan.
"Lef's get out of here before one of us opens that door," said Lefty.
"Yes," said Jazz. "And, I've got a plan!"
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