Chapter 4: The Reality, the Discovery and the Wish

I feel so comfortable now.

A soft object supporting my head, as if a piece of cloud had made its way into my room. It felt so heavenly. There was something covering my lower body. It rivaled the softness of the soft object before. A quiet, calm cool wind kept blowing and made me feel even more pleasant. I can feel a few of my bangs swayed by it as if dancing.

A chirping in the background. It must have came from the birds outside.

That's right. I think I left the windows open last night.

But why?

From out of nowhere, a knock on the door disturbed the silence.

I can hear fluttering sounds. The knock must have scared the birds.

I subconsciously moved my body to a form that might drown out the noise that has interfered my haven.

5 more minutes...

A voice I recognized followed suit.

It's my mother's.

"You don't have any classes today? It's already late."

I then realized that my neighbor didn't play the song he kept repeating on that day. Loch Lomond's "Wax and Wire". My neighbor always plays that song every 7:30 AM everyday. I'm not sure if he turns it off at some point in the morning but I still hear it when I get home from school. He stops it in 6:30 PM. If he keeps playing it from 7:30 AM until 6:30 PM, that's a total of 132 repeats! Is he trying to set a world record?

At this point, I already made it my alarm. I find it very interesting on how fast you can get used to something.

Come to think of it, I'm not even sure if my neighbor is a boy or a girl. But based on the song, I'm thinking he's probably a boy.

But that's not what I'm supposed to be thinking right now.

I set my body into a sitting position and checked the time on my phone.

It's already this late??!

Suddenly, my door swung open.

It was indeed my mother, Mary Elsa Delmonte.

Exactly as tall as me, you could say that she's taller than your average Filipina. She's very passionate. She'd force you out of your comfort zone, and gets mad when you don't do well on them - exactly the opposite of my easy going dad. She takes initiative in everything. She always gets what she wants - exactly the opposite of my passive dad. She's very strict and very scary - exactly the opposite of my lenient dad. Her eyes could kill. Her weapon of choice is a clothes hanger. Imagining her with a hanger sent shivers down my spine. Even among all these, I still love her and I'm 90% sure she loves me too.

Anyways, she came waltzing in as if she was in a park, and started looking around my room and then to me.

Even though I could tell she wasn't mad, her eyes were still enough to make me flinch and swallow my spit.

She gave me a satisfied smile.

"At least your room is clean."

"Mom, I'm a high schooler. You don't do that to a high schooler... I could be doing something a high schooler would do... You know..."

"Shut up. You're still a baby."

"Ehhh..."

As if to ignore me, she then walked to the window and slid open the curtains, almost like Moses splitting the Red Sea.

"You left the window open?"

"Y-Yeah, I think I did..."

She looked at me curiously and then looked at the instrument that was near the window.

Her eyes felt nostalgic.

A stargazing telescope inscribed with the words, "Orion". Under the telescope tube, an illegible smudge was there. I'm pretty sure it was a sentence or probably a name that's no longer readable because of the passing time, but I'm pretty sure my mother remembers what it says. My mother used to be in the Astronomy club back in high school and she was the one put in charge to take care of this telescope by her club members. Apparently, all the members were girls. It's a pretty old model of a stargazing telescope. I could say that it was well taken care of though because the lenses were still clear and everything was still there.

I completely forgot what I was doing last night. I was up all night stargazing. Thus, the reason of my eye bags and my predetermined tardiness. Halley's determination to go to space sparked a bit of my interest.

"So you finally got into stargazing?"

I didn't say anything because I knew exactly that that was a rhetorical question.

My mom used to force me and my brother to get into stargazing, but it didn't really stick. I knew some astronomy things though like constellations, stars, other heavenly bodies and how to spot them because of her.

It was all useless knowledge and facts, but I decided to remember them because they are my mom's gift for us.

She caressed the telescope so softly, as if it was one of her children and looked very nostalgic, as if she's reminiscing her younger years.

I wonder if she held me like that.

"It's good that you got her out of the attic. I was thinking of using her the other day. I used to be on the Astronomy club, you know."

"Yeah, I already know... You already told me a bunch of times..."

"Oh, I did? ha-ha."

"Yes..."

"All our members were girls. We used to go to the mountains to stargaze."

"Yes, I know..."

"Oh you did? Let's see..."

My mom was thinking at this point. She then made a face as if she remembered something, but she held it in as if she was wrapping a present.

"Come home early today after school."

"Huh?"

At this point, mom finally walked to the door, but stopped mid way towards closing it.

"You should go to school even if it's late. Being late is fine. Just make sure you can do it right next time." she said as she completely closed the door without ever looking at me.

For some reason, her words carried weight, but I didn't feel that it was directed to me. It almost felt like she was talking to someone else.

Now, I started getting ready for school even though I'm already late.

We'll better late than never, right?

✩✩✩✩

People were everywhere.

Chatter of busy students going on about their tasks.

Students coming in and out of the classrooms with at least one or two objects in their hands.

Not a sight of our school teachers.

I thought I saw someone I know but they quickly disappeared into the crowd before I could recognize them. Just within a few seconds, a stream of students swept across me as I slowly walked forward - minding my every step, as if I was battling an aimless river.

Among the crowd, I see a hint of my classmates carrying some pallet and paint. Others brought cloth and flower vases as they entered our classroom.

That's right. I completely forgot that our annual cultural festival is just a week and a half away.

A lot of things had happen to me since the other day. The last thing on my mind was this cultural festival.

Anyways, I followed them as they were creating a path, almost like a train destined to be somewhere.

Finally, I got inside.

The smell of cardboard boxes filled the entire room along with the smell of paint. I saw one of my classmates open up a window and coughed a bit as she did it. To my right, the classroom artists were drawing and painting some sort of signs while some of them were lettering some words. To my left, some of my classmates were sewing some costume. Of course, all of them looked like they were really enjoying what they were doing, even Rick.

I decided to join in.

But before that.

All of my classmates were already wearing their PE attire.

Okay. Time to change into my PE attire.

As hastily as I could, I changed into my PE attire as if it was the most normal thing I could do. I'm not saying I'm usually late or anything. I'm saying that in these few days, this is probably the most normal thing I did.

I folded my clothes and and put it inside my locker.

I made my way back to my classroom, but this time, the crowd in the hallway thinned - almost as if the crowd never existed in the first place.

I got inside and joined my classmates.

Of course I was scolded by my classmates about being late.

After the deserved-harsh address, I sat beside Rick and helped with the preparation.

"Diko, pass me the scotch tape."

Without thinking, my hands reached for the scotch tape just to my right and passed it to him.

I say "Without thinking" because my mind is occupied with something. It formed from thought to words.

"Say, Rick. What do you think about going to space?"

"Huh?"

✩✩✩✩

A chilling wind of a brand new air conditioning unit.

Sound of an ancient-but-still-working projector.

Smart kids at the front preparing to talk about the importance of computers.

Occasional murmur about craze going on about.

A female teacher still single at her age, having a midlife crisis even though she's still at her late 20's.

That's right.

My classmates and I are currently at the computer lab.

Beside me was no other than my friend Rick.

"You're telling me that it's 'space', not 'Spain'?"

"Yes!..."

Rick put his index finger at his lip as if he was Sherlock Holmes reviewing the information of a crime scene.

"That explains a lot."

"Yes!... He was very passionate about it..."

He then crossed his arms and showed me a face struck with reality.

"It's impossible though. He's just a highschooler like us."

What Rick told me sparked a bit of an unknown emotion inside me. I didn't know what it was, but I'm pretty sure it showed on my face when Rick flinched a bit when he looked at me.

I'm not sure what my face is showing.

"But he's very determined and hopeful about it..."

"Hope and determination alone can't get you anywhere."

I've always known Rick to be rational and down-to-earth, so I can say for sure that was he's saying is probably true...

But a part of me is screaming the opposite...

"It's space. There's no way he could go up there." Rick added.

"But..."

"If you think about it, I can kinda see why people ridicule him. He's always been saying that since he transferred here. Maybe his classmates got fed up by it. You know, his misplaced passion and baseless confidence towards something unrealistic."

"But he has a plan though... I think..."

"He can't go. It's space. He'd have to become an astronaut first. And I've never seen an astronaut who's still in highschool."

Feelings took over 90% of me and only let out two lonely words.

"Then why...?'

"I don't know. I guess that's why people think he's weird. He's always reading books about aerodynamics and rocket engines. He goes home straight and who knows what he's doing there. He doesn't talk to anyone. I guess that's why he doesn't have any friends."

I stayed silent and just waited for the moment to end. What Rick told me had to have some truth. I mean, high schoolers can't do anything that grand yet... right?

But for some reason, I can't force myself to believe Rick's words even though it's obvious that he was saying facts.

The silence lingered in my thoughts and I noticed that I was looking down.

Even though I'm not Halley.

Even though I'm not the one with what the "Unrealistic" dream.

Even though I'm not the one who's ridiculed.

I felt a sharp pain as if I was Halley himself.

Computer technology ended before I realized it.

It ended before I realized it even began.

✩✩✩✩

An airplane whooshed by the airport, signalling the end of class.

I can see friends waiting for their friends outside my classroom door.

Group started forming as it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

I can hear students saying their goodbyes and farewells and the gradual disappearing sound of their footsteps.

I fixed my bag and put in the book I just borrowed from the library earlier this day.

Suddenly, someone called out to me. It was Rick.

"Hey, Diko. Wanna go somewhere?"

With his call, I unconsciously hurried my pace to hide the book in my bag.

He slightly bent his head. I swear I could see a question mark on top of his head.

"Oh, uhmm... My mom told me to go home early today."

"Oh, you in trouble?"

"I don't think so."

I stood up and wore my bag.

"Okay then, say 'hello' to Auntie for me."

"Yeah, I'll tell her."

And with that, I hastily made my way to the train station.

It was only a couple of streets away so it wasn't really hard to walk there, but for some reason, the book inside my bag was very heavy, almost as if I'm shouldering some responsibility or something.

I don't know. It could just be me.

That was the reason of all the sweat on my face and the obvious struggle.

In a few moments, I eventually arrived at the train station. It was packed with all types of people in society.

Students.

Officemen.

Traffic Enforcers.

Artists.

Teachers.

Rich.

Poor.

Couples.

Adults.

Young.

Old.

All walks of life converged on that particular area, almost as if it was the tie that binds all human society - as if saying we are all connected in some way.

With that thought in my mind, I entered the the train.

Unexpectedly, the train wasn't jammed with people and there were a lot of free seats. I rested onto one and placed my bag on my lap.

An electronic voice resonated inside the train.

Hearing that, I let out a sigh of relief as though I had reached a checkpoint in a hard adventure game. The train felt like a sanctuary for me at this point.

Now, it's just the easy part.

At this point in time, the train had started to move and climbed up a bit of altitude. It is one of those upside down trains where the rail is on the roof.

As we climbed, a view of the city unfolded in front of my eyes.

It was still early to call it night so a few buildings still haven't turned on their lights, but just enough of them reminded me of what I saw last night on my telescope - a far away galaxy sparkling so beautifully so to speak it's telling people to look at it. Just beyond the buildings, competing for height and scale, a view of the mountain range occupied the background and was acting as the shelter of the setting sun. It struck me a chord of hope as my brain interpreted it that nature will always be with us no matter how far we've gone. Above was a looming cumulonimbus cloud that covered almost half of the city, as if taking it for its own. I adjusted my gaze to the interior of the train. The train emitted an orange light that filtered out the blue ones as though caring for the tired eyes of its passengers. I see people sleeping peacefully while others are focused on their phones and listening to music. Others were looking out the window too and looked happy while looking at it as though a child that just opened their eyes. Some were reading books.

Seeing them, I decided to open my bag and read the book that was causing me a bit of trouble.

It's your turn to satisfy me!

I thought to myself.

The cover carried the sentence "All you need to know about being an Astronaut."

It showed a picture of an astronaut doing an "okay" sign while floating in space. It also showed a few pictures of different places on Earth like the The Bardenas Reales in Spain, Pavilion Lake in Canada and the 10,000 year old glaciers of Antarctica.

I know all these because my father has been there and he wrote it in his books, whom I love reading so much.

With that, I read on and on and didn't notice fleeting passage of time.

Eventually, the trip will end, but for some reason when reading this book, I always hoped that home would be a few kilometers away.

Just a bit more...

✩✩✩✩

I was already one-fourth of the way to finishing the book after the train arrived.

With that, I fixed my bag again and readied myself to go home.

A few people came out with me as I said my appreciation to the train conductors.

While walking home, my mind was occupied with whatever was in the book.

Being an astronaut is very hard.

First off, you need tonnes of degrees in physics, engineering and mathematics. To top it off, you need to be a pilot too with at least 1,000 flight hours.

It really is indeed very hard.

This thought circled in and out my mind rent-free until I eventually arrived at my house.

What greeted me was my mother carrying some bag as she put it on our pick-up truck. She noticed me and waved.

"Hurry up, or I'm leaving you."

I didn't know what was happening but I unconsciously followed suit and get inside the pick-up truck with her.

I didn't even go to change out of my school uniform! Plus, my PE uniform soaking with sweat is there too along with the book I got from the library!

That's my mom for you.

Anyways, my mom drove us to the mountains. In just a few moments, the sun has completely disappeared from sight and the view of the city is emphasized more as the sun bid its farewell for the day.

Still confused, I asked my mom.

"Where are we going, mom?"

She smiled.

"We're going to the secret place only my club members and I know about - our very own stargazing site. Not even you father knows about this place. I miss your dad."

"Hey, mom... don't phrase it like dad's dead..."

She ignored me and just focused on driving.

Eventually, she stopped the truck at a certain place near the top of the mountain. She made me carry the bag she was carrying a while ago, as though she passed something significant to her to me - like a parent passing their torch to their children.

I carried it with utmost care. It was very heavy, but I'm pretty sure I can manage.

We then made our way to some thick bushes and a few grasses that are knee high. Soon after, my mother stopped at a certain glade. There was a concrete wall there that was probably from an unfinished building that will never be finished. It looked lonely in my eyes. Written in the wall were names I don't recognize, except one.

My mom's.

My mom told me to set up what was inside the bag on the glade. There was hardly any light there because it was facing away from the city and the moon was completely out of sight. The only light that accompanied us where millions of light years away and my dying phone flashlight. There were no clouds. In front of us was a lake that reflected the stars above.

It was a bit hard setting it up but I managed.

My mom prepared two seats as she sat on one and pat the other with her hand, cueing me to sit on it. I followed suit as my knees were killing me from all these carrying. First the book and now my mom's telescope.

As soon as I sat, my mom spoke out loud as though she remembered something.

"Ah, yes! The Discovery!"

"The Discovery?" I parroted her.

"Did you know that my friends and I discovered a new comet using this telescope?"

My eyes widened and it was clear that I became surprised and curious.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

But she paused, looked away, put her hand behind her neck and smiled a bit but with a mix of regret.

"We did, but the astronomy society didn't bother with us. They said we were too young to know what we were doing."

"Did you really?" I asked jokingly.

But my mom made a face I haven't seen before. She was serious, almost as if she had remembered something she had to do or should have done. It was clear that it was too late for her to do anything because of the hints of regret that was noticeable on her face.

"Yes, we did. It was beautiful. I can still remember the color of its tail and where it headed."

I stayed completely silent and just gave her 100% of my attention.

"Its colors were green, purple and pink from its tail to its nucleus."

Her eyes were filled with happiness, as if a child looking at her favorite candy.

"It was brighter than most comets. It was the prettiest comet my friends and I ever saw. We wanted the world to see it. We wanted everyone to witness its beauty..."

But then, her eyes began to fill with sadness and regret.

"We wanted to prove those adults wrong.... We wanted to say, 'You see that?!!', 'You didn't believe we could do it??!'"

"But we weren't able to find it again... Even until we graduated..."

"I remember crying a lot with my friends... I also remember us naming the comet and planning to find it one more time in the future... It doesn't have to be us... It could be anyone..."

My mother looked at me and smiled.

"It could be anyone... But most likely not you Ha-Ha. You don't look the part."

"Ehhh..."

At this point, my mother and I laughed a bit. Then I realized.

"Mom."

"Hmmm?"

"What did you and your other club members decide to name the comet?"

My mom smirked.

"It's written there. Under the tube."

I squinted my eyes as if it would help me understand the illegible writing.

**E *R**** CO**T

Those were the only letters I could understand.

"It wasn't really the name that I liked. I preferred "The Zamamiro Comet."

My mom and her friends used to watch a lot of anime.

My weebness sorta understood what "zamamiro" meant. It's a cry of victory towards the doubters. A shout of success towards an overwhelming force.

For some reason, it really was like my mom.

That expression.

Zamamiro

Then suddenly...

A silent streak of line - almost like a spark - traced the night sky.

It was a shooting star.

A few of them passed by continuously without stopping.

The silent lake reflected everything that was happening at that moment, as if copying the beauty it has witnessed.

There was no sign of any light pollution so everything in the sky was in its purest form - not a single speck of anything unheavenly.

I could feel a bead of tear stream down my face for whatever reason.

I didn't know why I cried but it just happened.

My mom smiled at me.

"Why don't you make a wish? It might actually come true."

At that night, my mom and I stargazed all night long as she talked about the adventure of her and her friends.