[ Greetings, peon! You have been selected to train for the next six months before being forced to face what your world has become. This by no means you will be safe or even be guaranteed that you won't die. The only reason some of your puny race on this planet has gotten this chance is so we can see the effects our intervention has on your people, compared to those who without it. Now let's begin! You will be given a class, power, and personal stats that can go up and down.]

Can you slow down, please? This is a lot to take in and, at this point, the only thing leading me to believe this is even real is the fact I can see giant green text floating above and in front of me.

[ Shut up. You have no say in what is happening, and quite frankly we don't care what you have to say. It's time for your random class to be selected for you.]

-Shazam! You have been granted the class: Tamer

-This class can be evolved in the future should you live and gain enough respect of the tamed subject and experience. Your class is a jack of all trades and master of none when it comes to fighting. As such, you have been forced into undisciplined, close-quarters combat. Have fun punching and kicking things as that will be all you get to do. No weapons will be allowed to you at this time.

-You have been granted the predetermined partner: Dog

-Make the best of what you have to work with. There are no rules that say it is only you that can evolve, or that a dog is all you can get.

[ You will now be granted a unique power based on where your spawn location will be.]

-Well, aren't you getting the shit end of the stick today? Not only did you not get to choose your starting class or fighting style, but your selected spawn location has also been selected as the highest leveled zone that the simulation of your planet will have. It is guaranteed that you will die a lot.

-With this tragic point in mind, you shall gain the power to never truly die, and gain a small amount of stat improvement. This will also apply to your partner, but be warned death may not be the end for you, but that doesn't make it pleasant.

-This power has used all of the remaining luck you had, don't expect good fortune in the future.

[ Your time here has come to an end, let the apocalypse begin.]

-Spawn location set. Travel initiated. The current location is no longer valid. Target location has drastically changed due to time interference. The location was randomized to the hardest known location.

[ Well that was an unexpected event. Now I'm very happy with the power you were granted. I'm sure you are wondering how everything was decided for you and, to answer that question as simply as possible, the answer is random generation. That's right, we couldn't even be bothered to manually help you. Life is a bitch. We aren't here to make it better; just make it more fun to watch. Oh, one last quick note before I give you the boot. While this is indeed just a simulation of what your planet will become, it's still just one of the many apocalyptic possibilities that can happen. It is the most likely, but not everything you see in will end up there in reality. The idea of not knowing where in time you will arrive has intrigued me greatly. You are the first we have ever seen experience something like this. As we don't understand what that will mean when you undergo your transition back to reality, expect the unexpected. Good Luck Traveler You're Going To Need It.]

Those were the all-so-wonderful words that started me on a journey that I not only didn't want to go on but nevertheless often happens so I had no choice in the matter. I couldn't help but think to myself at that moment in time that I was going to be fucked. Now I'm sure you are thinking, ‘well that's a lot to process all at once’, and you would be correct.

Let's face it, I only really had three ways to face the situation. One: I could pretend to be the badass that is fearless and faces this with nothing but disdain and anger to push me forward. Welp, as you can tell that isn't me in any shape way or form, which leads to option two: do nothing but cry and whine about how unfair everything is while still embracing everything going on and pressing forward. Or third and my personal favorite: freak the fuck out and ignore everything that has been said or explained.

I've read about countless similar things happening to people but when it comes to actually being the one in a situation like this it's not realistic to express anything other than disbelief. It's much easier for people to simply believe themselves as crazy rather than look for the impossible. Are you really going to try and tell me you are some magic person who wouldn't just freak out at something like this happening? One minute you're in bed sleeping then *poof* you’re standing in front of a big ass white environment.

That's not even counting the big green words or smaller orange ones above your head talking about impossible things, and basically telling you that your life is worthless. I'm a big enough person to admit I pissed my pants, cried, and even had a little poop come out. We can always pretend to be braver, smarter, and willing to take in everything going on, but when shit hits the fan, more often than not you aren't going to be thinking straight. In fact, the only thing going on in my head at this point in time was, “I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked”. See, aren't I articulate? Yep, that's what was going on in my head during my five minute trip to wherever the hell that white room is.

So let's do a recap: woke up in a strange white room with no clear how I got there, big green words floating above my head with messages that seemed strangely intimate, detailing effects and actions that would either make things easier or at the very least survivable.

Heh, this has unsurprisingly taken longer to write than I had assumed it would. I'll try and write more soon but time is the one thing that I always seem to be lacking. If it's not getting abducted from my home, fighting things that quite frankly terrify and often kill me, it's running for my goddamn life. So time's up, and with that, I'll say what is always said to me:

Good Luck, Traveler, You’re Going To Need It