《Reborn as a Failure》Chapter 10: Field Trip, part 3
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Chapter 10: Field Trip, part 3
I’m going to space.
I, me, this person right here is going up to motherfucking space!!!
So fucking coooool!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My heart is going to explode!!!
No! No, don’t die yet! Not before you’re up there among the stars!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhh!!!!!
Calm down fuck face! I said calm the fuck down!
Breath. Breath. In and out. In and out. In and out.
Chill the fuck out and calm the fuck down. Concentrate on the here and now. Live in the moment and walk forward one step at a time.
Feel the comfy fabric wrapping around your skin.
Feel the softness of the carpet beneath your shoes
Feel the sensation of the clean sweet air.
Feel the warm embrace of the Sun.
Feel it. Live in it. Appreciate it. Be thankful for everything you have right now.
Be thankful for him.
Your angel. Your savior. Your boss.
He picked you up out of the gutter and washed you clean. He gave you food that melt in your
mouth, clothes that cost more than your life, sights that brought tears to your eyes, days that you wished would never end.
He was the one who gave you all you’ve ever dreamt of, and all you’re too afraid to even dream.
And all he asked for in return is for you to be his… butler!!!
A butler! That’s cool as fuck!
Call me Alfred! Call me Jarvis! Call me Godfrey! Call me whatever you want, cause my life just peaked!
What in the world and beyond could be more awesome than being a butler!? Even Batman respects his butler! And he’s the Goddamn Batman!
Oh, shit! Oh, fuck! I’m hyperventilating.
Breath. Breath. In and out. In and out.
*Ahem*
Your dinner is ready Master Bruce.
Jolly good sir, chip chip cheerio.
Blimey, this cuppa tea tastes good innit gov’nor.
Oi! Oi! Oi! What’s this I ’ear about an indepen’en state? Ye got a loicense for that, mate?
Fu fu fu fu!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Oh, the life of a butler, the absolute peak of the service industry. A dream that is out of reach of so many, myself included.
Yet, my very generous benefactor gave me the job anyway.
My Master. My Savoir. My King.
Master Jack.
Praise be his name, and may his rule be eternal!
***
I’m organizing a group of young adults who will embark on the journey of a lifetime.
They may be high potential wizards who would become Masters, but at this moment they are but children.
The rowdy bunch is just as excited as I am about going up to space. Who wouldn’t?
The group consisted of twelve people gathered from across the globe. All of them are God’s chosen. All of them will go very far in life.
My Abigail is one of them. I’m so beyond proud, like a mother bird watching her chick leaving the nest. But the thing is, I’m going with her.
The whole family is.
Thanks to Master Jack’s endless generosity. He is our orphanage’s very own daddy-long-legs. Oh, and Master Kyle, too.
It can’t be cheap, right? To relocate an entire household? He said it was part of my benefits, but I’d be a fool to believe that.
Someone such as I don't deserve anything.
The kids: Abbi, Vicky, George, Lucy, Dave; they do. They deserve the universe. I couldn’t give it to them, but he did.
I used to pray to God, but now I pray to him, only to him… oh, and Master Kyle, too.
I swore my allegiance and intend to serve beneath the sole of his feet till the day I die.
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Till death do us part.
For he is my one true king, my Master Jack.
“Ms. Anne! Ms. Anne! I’m scared of space, so can you hold my hand the whole way!?”
“Keep your sweaty paws to yourself fatty! Ms. Anne, I need to go to the little girl’s room. Can you come with me!?”
“Wear a diaper, you carpet muncher! Ms. Anne, you’re a Level Zero, right? I promised I’ll keep you safe from these low lives!”
“Ms. Marianne, what d’ya eat to get so tall?”
“Ms. Anne!” “Ms. Anne!” “Ms. Anne!”
The teenagers are very excited about the trip, yet they are also terrified of stepping out of their nest. Leaving their friends, family, their entire lives behind.
It’s scary to leave your comfort zone.
Once you’ve become accustomed to your daily routines, change is very upsetting. No matter how big or small, change is like an invader who seeks to destroy everything you know and love.
Even if everything you know is suffering.
Humans are highly adaptable creatures. Pain and misery can become dear friends if we live with them long enough.
It’s why lonely individuals refused to accept a reaching hand of friendship.
It’s why couples fought tooth and nail to stay in their abusive and broken relationship.
It’s why depressed people hurt themselves and listen to mid-two-thousands Emo music rather than seventies Disco Kino. The poor-taste sorry sods.
They find comfort in it. Solidarity. Pleasure.
Misery became who they are. Their identity. Their life.
Just as I am Failure, bringer of misfortune.
I truly believed that nothing good could ever be created by these two hands, therefore, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Comfort zones truly are alluring. For good and for ill.
Take these children. They must be so lost and afraid, with the journey they must take. That’s probably why they clung to me as a stand-in for their parental figure.
“Ms. Anne! Ms. Anne! Please step on me!”
“Mistress! Please take me over your knees and spank me till I squeal!”
“Ms. Anne, ignore the disgusting boys! Us girls should stick together! So now if you would let me hug you…”
The group of teenagers surrounded me like lost little pups. Awww, so cute!
Eventually, I was able to organize the group of Masters-to-be. Working with the other staff, we wrote down their allergies, congenital disease, and their other needs to make their flight experience as pleasant as possible.
Having magic is very convenient. The staff could create noise-free zones for those who require complete silence, and project illusions of endless grass fields and blue sky for those with claustrophobia.
And having a mini pocket dimension on board the ship for storing food, means we’ll be well fed during our month-long flight.
One whole month on a spaceship, and that’s only one-third of the way to The Order homeworld.
We’ll be making a pit stop at the outer rim space station. At which point, another group of Masters would take over, bringing the teenage wizards and the orphans back to HQ, as Master Jack and Kyle still have a job to do elsewhere.
I’ll be going with them. This means, for the first time in my life, I’m going to be separated from the orphans.
My orphans.
My children.
My precious little boys and girls.
They’ll be all alone on an alien planet, without their big bro to take care of them.
I try to convince myself that they will be alright.
Master Jack had already taken care of housing and schools. He even hired servants and a nanny to help Vicky take care of her younger siblings.
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Speaking of Vicky, she’s older than me. She's already an adult. She can pursue higher education or a career if she so chooses. She’s a bright woman, she should be alright.
Vicky, Abigail, George, Lucy, Dave; all of them should be alright.
But I’m afraid.
Scared shitless.
What if something happens to them when I’m not there!?
What if some assholes try to lay their filthy hands on my children, and I’m not there to protect them!?
What if they cry for me and I’m not there to comfort them.
What if…
What if…
I’m like a worrywart parent who couldn’t let go of their children. Let them spread their wings and fly off on their own.
All my life, I wanted to become a space janitor and journey among the stars.
All my life, I told myself that I, who was born with nothing, had nothing to lose.
All my life, I never expected my dreams to come true.
I never expected to step out of my comfort zone.
But now that I’m here, on the precipice. I’m afraid to take the leap. Afraid of change.
I guess this is what it feels like to be…
A mother.
***
[Attention, dear passengers! Flight TG-025, Villam to Exterius, is ready for departure. Please make your way to gate number 3. I repeat. Attention, dear passengers…]
“All aboard, ye land lovers!”
I shouted enthusiastically as I led the group of children to our vassal. I’m like a teacher leading her student on a field trip, which is pretty rad, not gonna lie. Like Ms. Frizzle taking her student on the magic school bus.
But my bus is way more badass since it's a motherfucking spaceship!
Spaceship! So cool!
We walked down the terminal and made our way to the third gate.
I did my best to calm my beating heart before taking a step onto the jet bridge, connecting to the large silver craft.
“You alright Marianne? You look… more unstable than usual.”
Asked an angelic voice from my side.
Master Jack was looking up at me with a furrowed brow and worries in his pretty green eyes.
“Y-Yes master! I’m fine! Never better!”
“I know this is your first time off-world. If you’re too scared then I can put you to sleep for the entire flight.”
“No master! Anything but that! I want to be among the stars!”
I almost fell to my knees, begging for his mercy. But my king caught my sorry self with his small but powerful frame before I could.
“Haha! Calm down, woman. I’m kidding! Just kidding! But seriously, if you feel ill or anything. Anything at all. Don’t hesitate to let me or Kyle know okay?”
“Yes, my lord.”
I quickly nodded and Master Jack finally relaxed his brow and gave me a warm smile.
“Call me sire!”
“Yes, sire!”
“Call me boss!”
“Yes, boss!”
“Call me handsome Jack!”
“Yes, handsome Jack!”
“Bark three times and call me Jack. Just Jack.”
“Woof woof woof! Yes, Master Ja-… I mean… Jack…”
“Good girl! Now, never call me by any other name again, okay?”
“Your wish is my command… Jack”
My kind master laughed brightly before taking my hand and led me across the walkway like a man walking his oversized dog, to the teasing whistle of Master Kyle.
“Oh, and just refer to that tall asshole as four-eyes or giraffe. The nerd prefers it better that way.”
“Ha! Smartass!”
Kyle shook his head with a chuckle.
The master wizards are such good friends. So much so that it makes a friendless loner like me jealous.
‘Remember no man is a failure who has friends.’
Way to rub it in, Clarence.
Way to rub it in.
Eventually, all of us made our way to our seats.
The ship was a large rental space-liner with plenty of room to spare. With personal rooms, play areas, crew cabins, dining hall, and all sorts of accommodations.
It’s basically a flying cruise ship! So fancy! Look at all these toilets, I could scrub! I’m finally living the space-janitor fantasy, bitches!
But of course, during lift-offs and landings, we must be seated like a regular airplane.
I was going to help the children tighten their seat belts but Master Jack — I’m sorry — Jack stopped me.
“Sit down, Annie, let the professionals do their job. You’re the least qualified person here to help anybody.”
Ouch!
That's right, our ship came with several crew members. From the captain to the flight attendants to the chef. A total newbie like me would only get in their way.
But still…
Being seated right next to your boss, despite being a butler just feels wrong right?
What would Alfred do?
Now that I think about it, I never saw him doing anything besides carrying silver trays around and using a feather duster every now and then.
Is that really all a butler does? I suppose so…
Oh! And giving life advice like a surrogate father!
I snuck a peek at my small master who would fly into a fit of rage whenever anyone treated him like a child.
Yeah… better not.
The poor, poor man. And I thought being bald was bad. I knew not of true suffering.
The poor, generous little man.
My cute little savior.
“Annie, I sense you’re thinking rude thoughts about me!”
“Wha- no, master! This humble one wouldn’t dare!”
I turned away from Jack’s piercing eyes and looked out the window excitedly like a country bumpkin who’s flying for the first time.
Well, I am a country bumpkin!
And this is my first time going to…
Space, the final frontier!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I’m hyperventilating again!
Breath! In and out! In and out! In and…
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Fuck it!! I don’t care anymore, I can die happy at this very instant!!!
“Kyle! She’s going to pass out! Do something!”
“Shut up, both of you! Some of us are trying to sleep!”
The oddly tired Master Kyle waved his fingers and our seat belts came alive, strapping us to our seats.
Later, I found out that he suffered from a bad case of motion sickness. The poor four-eyed giraffe.
Eventually, it was time for take-off!
The large metallic ship slowly levitated off the landing pad like an oversized chopper. Our vessel slowly climbed up into the bright blue sky above without single turbulence to be felt, although Kyle still had a vomiting bag ready anyway.
Once it ascended to a certain height it started to move forward like a jet. I saw clouds rushing past the window faster and faster. Our plane broke through the sound barrier and it’s still accelerating.
We moved faster. We climbed higher.
Soon enough the sun disappeared behind the horizon as our ship traveled to the other side of the globe in a few seconds!
Then I saw the sunrise again as we went full circle!
Our ship was moving faster still.
Master Kyle has already vomited his guts out and is reaching for another bag.
After three full circles around the world, we finally broke past the atmosphere, up to the starry skies above!
It was everything I dreamt of, and more.
Villam, the planet I grew up on, was green.
It wasn’t blue but green.
So pretty. So full of life. Like a shiny gem floating on black water.
I felt warm water gushing out of my eyes at the majestic sight.
At that moment, I knew there was no going back.
At that moment, I had walked past the threshold into the great unknown.
At that moment, I had gone over the precipice and dived into something new, something different from all I had ever known.
My comfort zone was shattered to pieces and all that’s left was…
Space.
Endless.
Depthless.
limitless.
Space.
“What do you think, Marianne? Was it everything you hoped for?”
The man who has given me the universe itself asked with a warm gentle tone.
His beautiful blonde hair reflected the beam of light coming in from the windows. Sparking like an angel’s halo.
I took my eyes off the green planet and turned to him.
My Master. My Saviors. My King.
My one true God.
Jack.
“It’s… Perfection.”
I replied to his question and leaned down to kiss him on his beautiful glossy lips.
“Absolute Perfection.”
——————————
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