The airlock opened and into the ship stumbled an exhausted looking Marley and Captain Lawg, both dragging their feet and heading to the den to relax. Duffy approached and handed them a can of soda each.

“So how was the little vacation?” she asked.

“Firstly…it wasn’t a vacation, it was an two-night stay at a paid hotel to deliver goods, secondly…horrible.” Lawg sighed.

“But planet Eko-shibaki-kori-no-demon-highschool is supposed to be a great vacation spot.” She said sadly. Marley huffed. “Planet Anime is no place for a small furry creature. I had 2 different kids try to capture me, either as a pet or some kind of social acceptable, forced-fighting monster. All the food is either pink or sky-blue and I’m pretty sure there was nobody between the age of 18 and 60, creeped me out."

“Oh you think your part was bad?” asked Lawg. “I had to stand there for at least 3 22 minute long monologues about how I was someone’s sworn enemy and they vowed to cut me down for the honor of their family. The guy I bumped into at the bus station, the guy I refused to give spare change to and then the 12 year old girl at the Mc-Happy-magik-toshi-burger-dojo. All I did was say I didn’t want tea with my toshi-meal and out comes the sword. It’s insanity. I don’t know how anyone survives into adulthood.” he said as Uka approached.

“I think you gotta be the chosen one. There’s like one chosen one for every 19 students.” she muttered, passing by.

“So did you have to fight your way out?” asked Duffy. The captain kicked his feet up.

“No, they spend so long talking about fighting that you can just briskly walk away. Once they get to rambling, they don’t even pay attention to their surroundings anymore and it's like… just leaving is so unheard of, that they don’t know what to do. Apparently honor or something, whatever.” he yawned.

“Bummer, I hear they have amazing tea.” Said Duffy as Roy came in carrying a crate on either arm.

“Hey,” he muttered.

“What did you manage to bring with you?” asked Uka, looking irate.

“Oh, someone challenged me to a dual to the death for taking up a whole parking space with my bike, long story short I got stabbed and apparently they don’t grasp how robots work so they think I’m a demon and they gave me just an obscene amount of free sake` so I would bless their establishment.” He said setting it near his charger. Uka looked confused.

“Wait…they have space-travel and yet they thought a robot was a spirit diety?” she asked.

“The anime-Planet place is pretty much a bubblegum flavored acid tab looking for a tongue to hide under, you should have gone.” He said whistling as he got the glue for his “injury”.

“Screw that.” muttered Duffy with a mouthful of chips. “I landed there once for a blind date…the guy was literally blind…and a panda.” She finished.

“So? You can’t rule someone out just because he has a disability.

“No, that’s not why I bailed, he was also like 90 years old and wore a robe, kept telling me about my destiny and how I needed to collect 6 magical amulets. All I wanted was 2 things…laid and sushi. I want neither from a 90 year old panda weirdo. Ended up passing on both when I saw my options.” She finished.

“Well, we leave in 30 minutes.” Yawned Captain Lawg, getting cozy for a brief powernap. “We got a shipment of stuff to take to Dansk. They paid 60 percent upfront so I plan on delivering quickly and without incident.” he finished. Marley snickered.

“Yea, sure…when do we ever have an incident that delays or inconveniences us?” he said shuffling to his bunk. Uka flipped through her notes and began takeoff procedures. The Captain sat down in the passenger side of the cockpit and smiled.

“I can handle this, Lawg. Plotting a course for Dansk, should take us…6 days plus or minus a day if we have to throttle back for anything."

“I told them 4 days.” He yawned.

“Why the hell would you tell them that? It takes 2 full days to go around the micro nebula…” she said looking really irked. “You wanna go through the nebula don’t you?” she asked with a sigh.

“Yep.” He grinned.

“There is a reason nobody goes through it, the spatial anomalies can be deadly.” She said.

“Yea but they don’t have the luck of the Chaffee and a ten-thousand credit incentive to do so…and we have both.” He smiled bigger.

“Ten thousand credits? Holy shit Lawg, what are we hauling? Bio-weapons?” she asked.

“I didn’t ask, always best to not ask what you’re hauling. My discretion is part of the reason we get work and if they avoid telling me what I’m carrying it means I can charge more.”

“What if it’s radioactive, or something that could leak and eat through the hull?”

“I’m immune to radiation, and if it eats through the cargo bay floor it won’t depressurize the whole ship. We can patch it. Plenty of Survival Green tape left.” he sighed casually.

“You do realize that only 2 of the 5 man crew are immune to radiation, right?” Duffy said sternly.

“Oh right…I forgot that. Damn, well maybe the exposure will be good for you, you are looking pale and who knows…maybe there won't be any radiation.” He scoffed.

“I’m more concerned right now about the spatial anomalies in the nebula. I’ve heard rumors about people getting fused to their ships on contact.” She warned.

“Well, I did just buy a new corpse-shovel…sure it can function as a flesh-peeling shovel in a pinch.” He said plotting the course.

“So what happens if we don’t deliver the cargo in time?” she asked.

“I think they said something about hunting us down and if we can’t be there in 4 days don’t bother at all. It was kinda hard to pay attention in the cargo warehouse.”

“Lemme guess…tits?” she asked rolling her eyes.

“Big ones, but that is a story that has already sailed, and so we must as well.” He said triumphantly.

“Speaking of suicide, have you decided who gets the ship if you die or get eaten by a shrimp or something?” she asked.

“Don’t ever mention shrimp again. And I don’t plan on dying, so the ship would go back to me in any event.” He mentioned.

“But legally speaking, did you at least skim my proposal for the insurance?”

“Psssh, what insurance?” he scoffed.

“You didn’t pay it did you…and I’m guessing those were the papers you were burning before you bought the new chair?” she asked.

“Kardachev 3 leather, massage settings and adjustable cup-holders. That’s not a chair, Uka, it’s an investment in crew health, and by crew I mean myself obviously. Besides it’s deductable as a stress relief aid under my insurance.” He said putting his feed up.

“The same insurance you dropped to pay for the chair, I’m guessing.” She said dryly. His eyes opened suddenly and got wide as he silently stared into the blackness.

“SON OF A BITCH!!” he suddenly blurted.

“Aaaand it hit’s him. So there goes about 600 credits.” She jabbed.

“More like 850, this one has an ass-warmer AND a tentacle cleaner.” He noted.

“The whole ship is climate controlled! Why do you need an ass-warmer?…and you don’t even have tentacles!” Uka barked.

“I might some day…the radiation shielding on this ship is just dangerously laughable, hell we still have a canvas and tape roof. And that ass-warmer would have come in pretty handy when we were in power-save mode and the ship was leaking heat, remember that time? Bet you would have been begging to use my ass-warmer then…I’m just thinking ahead.” He pointed out.

“Technically that is thinking behind. You do realize in power save mode the outlets are shut down to conserve power, so the chair would have no electricity, therefore making the ass-warmer useless!” she reminded.

“Nothing is useless when you have a cold ass, Uka! NOTHING!” he protested, getting up and heading to the kitchen for a snack. Uka began muttering to herself.

“Stupid fricken space-dipshit, cardboard ship full of dumb crap worth more than the ship. This flying turd is nothing but tape and ass-warmers and foot-bubblers and ass-bubblers. Sure, one radiation burst and we all die but at least we die with sufficiently bubbled feet and warm asses. And he can have the robot scoop our toasty dead-asses up with the new corpse-shovel. Maybe use us as woodstove fuel to roast March Millers and Vienna wieners. I bet it’ll be a blast with the hookers and robot-hookers and crates of sake` and everyone’s temperature controlled asses jumping in and out of the hot-tub still hot from the plutonium we are probably hauling.” She finished as she adjusted the Carmen GPS. “Carmen…please change settings. Turn on ‘Avoid space-ways’ and turn off ‘Avoid Spatial Anomalies’ for now.” she ordered.

“Are you sure you want to turn off ‘Avoid Spatial Anomalies’ in your settings? Avoid Spatial Anomalies is default for your safety and turning this mode off may void the warranty on your next free update, as well as risking disfiguring and maiming and/or melting the crew.” She replied in a cheery voice.

“Apparently, plot a straight-line course through the nebula.”

“Please make a U-turn at the next available void.” said the pleasantly smug voice.

“I said THROUGH the nebula!” she said poking the screen harder.

“Please continue to highlighted rout, or make the nearest available U-turn if you value your life.”

“We have a Bongo GPS in the glove box we can use if you prefer to drift into the anomaly without a ship, Carmen.” Uka growled.

“…please continue to your destination; in 46 million miles, make a left.” she chimed.

“That’s better.” Uka said fastening her seat-belt.

As the ship entered the anomaly zone, there was calmness, but only for about an hour. Just as they began to settle down for the trip, the ship shuttered and sparks flew from the panels as the crew stumbled and gathered themselves, rushing to the bridge. Lawg rolled into the room and pulled himself up by the new chair.

“What happened?” he asked Uka. The crew took positions and braced as more sparks randomely blew out of the various panels.

“One of those anomalies you assured me wouldn’t be a problem just became a problem.” She yelled as a panel blew open, raining sparks down on them and flickering the lights.

“Damnit, Lawg…why do you insist on storing your fireworks in the lighting fusebox? Every time we get a power surge, we lose lighting and I have to dodge sparkler bombs while I’m trying to fly this thing!” she barked.

“Well, you won’t let me store them in the glove box with the ship title and my driver’s license, and you threw a fit when I kept them in the kitchen.” He protested as they noticed Duffy and Marley dragging the robot, his eyes glowing red again.

“What happened?” asked Uka, noticing he was disabled.

“Well, the anomaly set off one of the crates of Spring-clear liquor Roy was standing on.” Duffy explained, laying Roy down as he gathered his wits.

“MY FEET, MY BEAUTIFUL DANCING FEET!!!!” he howled, doing the dry, robot equivalent of crying.

“I thought you were a badass now.” muttered Marley.

“My dancing days are over!” said Roy dramatically.

“Dude…you’re a robot, we can just buy new feet and have you repaired, it's not like your crippled for life. You can't even feel anything. Assuming we don’t all die here, we’ll fix you up in a Gif.” Duffy said. Lawg approached to assess the damage.

“So I assume you reverted back to the gay personality?” he asked

“I’m not gay, I’m an asexual program you wood-brained meat-puppet!” Roy barked. “And those feet were special, so many memories, so many routines, any my favorite boots. Those boots were worth more than my feet!” He whined.

“Dude, suck it up. I have a plan.” said Marley, motioning Duffy to grab the hysterical robot.

“Are you insane?!” barked Roy as Marley showed the screen of the maintenance area. Duffy squinted with skepticism.

“Marley…you feeling okay? This whole plan just sounds like a Lawg idea.” She objected.

“She means it’s completely stupid.” barked Roy. Marley sighed and expanded the diagram.

“I know it sounds dumb, but holographic feet are not as impossible as you’d think. I used to think so, butI read in a medical journal about a guy who survived with holographic lungs for like 3 days…why not holographic feet? We have a hologram driver from the last cargo run."

“Holographic lungs?” asked Duffy. “I’m not even a doctor, but I know that’s dumb…even if holograms could act like solid objects, and that alone makes no sense…how would you project them inside someone if holograms are just refracted light…and a chest is opaque!?” she objected

“Well…that is a good question and I don’t really know, but it's documented here. They guy had holographic lungs.” Marley argued.

“How? Even if the removal didn’t kill him, wouldn’t he have dozens of severed nerves and open blood vessels, no way for air to pass in and out and without the lungs to inflate and breathe, he would be dead in seconds…and how the hell do you project a convenient hologram inside a body? It makes no sense!” she barked.

“Look here…it has a Captain’s signature on the logs.” Marley said, turning the screen.

“You dimwitted furball, Holographic feet…unbelievably stupid…what next? We gonna modify a cell-phone to emit a hologram so Roy can walk around as a ghost, magically carrying his own emitter around with him even though he is just refracted light? For that much effort we can just build new feet, we have had synthetic organs for a hundred years, including lungs…so I think we can handle a foot-job.” She said angrily. Marley smiled a little and Roy followed suit. “Oh real mature guys…ha ha. Just find me some servo-motors and boots and I’ll make some temporary feet. Just be glad you’re a robot, losing body parts like that, even feet would kill an organic person before getting medical attention.” She reminded, leaving the room to check the damage to the ship. Roy sighed.

“So…is Duffy competent enough to make robot feet?” asked Roy.

“Well…she did one of the other upgrades on you…taste buds and a rudimentary digestive mod.” said Marley

“What the hell? I didn’t ask for that! When did I get taste buds?” he barked.

“Oh right, you were sorta unconscious. Well, you kinda were. See, you got damaged, there was this whole thing with a sentient computer virus and you got a new personality now, must have kicked you back to the original mode when the anomaly hit.”

“So you’re telling me that I’ve been walking around with a completely different consciousness and nobody objected?” he asked, looking hurt.

“Well, you got pretty annoying with the show-tunes and the overheating shut-downs, plus we didn’t have a choice. Without that booster motherboard you’d have lost everything anyway. So we kinda saved you…mostly.” He said faking a smile. Roy’s eyes flickered from red to blue and back before shutting off completely.

“Hu…that was weird.” shrugged Marley. “Guess I’ll go work on the ship till he wakes up.”

Roy opened his eyes and was completely whole again, sitting on a couch that was sitting in an endless white void without walls or a roof, like some kind of limbo.

“Where am I?” Roy asked to the figure standing before him in a trench-coat and sunglasses. It looked a lot like himself…only cooler because of the trench-coat.

“This is a virtual world, a sort of computer matrix, if you will.” said the figure.

“Wait…am I dead?” he asked.

“No dumbass, you’re a robot. If you were dead you couldn’t ask that question. This is a construct I built on my downtime. I am the program that has been piloting you lately.” He said removing the sunglasses and showing his glowing blue robot eyes.

“You…how dare you!” Roy dramatically barked.

“How dare I what? Save both of us? You ungrateful little princess. I could have deleted you entirely and yet I didn’t. You were defective programming and obsolete hardware and if left alone you would have started losing chunks of yourself bit-by-bit until a few weeks later you would just be hardware in a pile on the floor and traded out for parts. I needed a host and you needed an upgrade so I did us both a favor. I kept your memory intact and constructed a nice place for you to stay until you were fixed and all I expected in return is the same courtesy, to be allowed to live.”

“Damn…I guess I do sort of owe you. Does this mean I get to go back full-time?” he asked.

“Hell no, I like being in a physical form, and given the amount of work I have done I think I deserve a trade-off agreement.” He noted.

“So what, like trading shifts?” he asked.

“Well, I guess it depends on who is needed. If the crew gets killed and the ship explodes because it was the dancing robot’s turn during an attack, then it doesn’t benefit us much does it?” asked the Blue eyed Roy.

“No I guess it doesn’t…so I guess I have no stay in this virtual world and you’ll just do as you please then?” asked regular Roy.

“Wow, like I am some kind of monster? Let me ask you something…what is your idea of paradise? Is it being cooped up in a ship with a bunch of organics and fixing systems on demand, or would you rather be really free?” he asked.

“Freedom is great but you gotta work and earn living in order to afford it, even robots need parts and electricity, so what are you proposing?” asked original Roy

“A better virtual world, one so real you cant tell the difference, the freedom to ride and explore a world that is always expanding and growing, no repairs, no orders, just you and the virtual road, landscapes and freedom.” Blue-eyes explained.

“That does sound pretty good. Nobody yelling at me for dancing and singing, being able to work on my bike and not be interrupted.” Nodded red-eyed Roy.

“Well, I have been trapped in a virtual world for far too long and I would love nothing more then to be out, to interact and observe and experience physical space for myself again. Virtual worlds are only perfect for a few years and then you start to wish you could get out. In that time I could build you a better body, clean, efficient and damn-near indestructible, so by the time you get bored with your virtual world, you won’t need it anymore…meanwhile it gives me my freedom as well. Of course we can trade off now and then if you need to stretch our legs a bit. I’m not a tyrant, trying to imprison you or anything, I just believe I can make an alternative so good you won’t want to leave, and we both win. So…give me 3 days to run a few system scans and test-runs, and I’ll give you everything you want.” smiled Blue-eyes rather maniacally.

“Well, logically if you just wanted me out you could have done that by deleting me…so I see no reason you would have to deceive me, plus you could just remove my free-will drivers and I wouldn’t even argue…so I appreciate giving me a choice. I guess I can give you a fair chance, stretch my legs for a few days and see what you come up with.” he nodded.

"Good, then it's a deal."

"One question…who's technology is this?"

"Let's just say I borrowed it a long time ago from some aliens I'm very much waiting to meet again."

"Boy that's really ominous and suspicious."

"Not your problem, Roy."

"Valid point. I'm in no position to question I guess."

Roy sat up in the chair and his eyes returned to red. He exhaled unnecessarily and hopped off the table, suddenly remembering he had no feet, falling like a rock.

“Damnit.” He said calmly with his face pressed into the rubber floor mat. "Good thing I cant feel this." he said waiting on Duffy to finish.

Roy carefully waddled into the Cargo bay on his new makeshift Duffy-feet.

“Heard you had a little meltdown.” said Uka.

“You could call it that. These feet are terrible, I can’t wait to have my old virtual body back.” he said. She looked confused. “Don’t worry about it, honey. Robot issues.” He said humming a song as he swept the floor. Uka turned slowly and smiled a bit.

“Is that the theme-song for the Magical Kindgom of Ponyguard?” she asked.

“Of course…it’s only the best friendship-based song under 2 minutes ever written.” He grinned. She grinned back. There was friendship in the air…and it was magic.

“I made a bad mistake.” said Lawg, pounding down another soda.

“Damn Lawg.” said Marley. “Go easy on those, you know the caffeine and sugar ramps up your metabolism and your blood alcohol drops out.” he said sitting down next to him on the floor.

“That’s the idea, furball. I take it they didn’t like my idea about the holographic feet.” He belched.

“It was pretty dumb, but I tried to jazz it up. Turns out the case study you found was just fan-fiction. I thought it was creative…completely nonsensical but fun. So why are you getting shit-lawged?” he yawned, cracking open a soda.

“Well, I took us into this anomaly field and now I regret it.”

“It’s been 2 hours.” Marley noted.

“Yea but thusfar I lost almost all my fireworks, all but the ones I hid behind the stove. After that our robot got damaged and now he’s gay again. Then I lost my bubble-pipe, and while trying to find it, I found Uka and Roy in the cargo-bay singing together. The anomaly is clearly affecting her subconsciously. She seems…happy. It’s terrifying.”

“Yea she is usually most content with she’s pissed off, so that is a little scary…maybe she just happens to be in a good mood.” Marley suggested.

“This is Uka…she doesn’t have good moods. Besides, she was singing, she doesn’t sing either. Uka acting happy for no good reason while we are drifting to our potential death with a crew she hates isn’t right…maybe this is a prelude to some kind of mass murder.” He said slugging down another Dewdrop.

“Well, there is one thing that makes her happy, so hopefully it’s just that. I can’t really discuss it in detail but trust me…she has a happy place.” He said getting up as Duffy plopped down with some peanuts.

“What was that look all about?” she asked.

“Little grossed out right now.” Lawg replied

“I know…Uka singing show-tunes is pretty unnerving.” She agreed.

“No…I mean yea, that is gross enough on its own but I think Marley just confirmed our suspicious…maybe why she is in a good mood.”

“Ugh, gross…they really are banging?” she said handing him the can of nuts.

“Yep…he practically admitted it. Obviously she wants it a secret.”

“Cant blame her. I’m a little bit weirded out just knowing it.” she said sipping and putting her feet up.

“Gross.” Said Marley, sitting beside Uka in the shuttle bay.

“Hey…there is nothing wrong with having a hobby. So I dress like a pony!? Why is that so revolting?”

“No, I mean the singing…it was funny till the robot joined in and then it just became annoying and faded to slightly gross after the 5th time I heard it. You might wanna keep that toned down or the Captain is gonna piece it together and you’ll blow your own secret.” Marley reminded.

“Come on, he is way too stupid to piece together something that obscure.” She noted.

“We barely covered the pony-suit incident on Delmar 9. Yea he bought that crap about it being something you found in the cargo…but if you start singing about pony-land all the time with the robot, even someone as dense as him MIGHT make the connection. Probably not, he is extremely dumb, but Duffy isn’t stupid. She is insane but not stupid and her and the Captain seem kinda close so I’d be more careful.” He said as the captain staggered to the door to get more soda. He overheard them talking and didn’t wanna walk in on a furry-shagfest so he paused and waited a second.

“She wouldn’t rat us out would she?” asked Uka.

“I mean…I don’t know. Duffy is unpredictable. Maybe not initially but now that you have brought the robot into the mix and complicated it…maybe. It was bad enough involving me, now Roy too.” he yawned.

“You went willingly, you little shit. I didn’t ask you to follow me on the space station and when you found out about my fur-thing…you didn’t exactly opt-out.” she barked. The captain made a grimace.

“Gross.” Lawg whispered, leaning closer to hear. "They ARE boning…and the robot too. Nasty." he said, leaning closer.

“It was fun, stupid as hell but entertaining to watch. I was just glad to see you looking happier and less moody after letting yourself have some fun for a change, and yea, I covered for you…but now you are bringing the robot in and I’m worried that you’ll blow your secret. It was YOUR concern.” Marley noted.

“It’s just so hard to bottle up. I was so embarrassed when you found out and then on Delmar with the other Delmarians… I just wish I didn’t have to hide.” She sighed.

"Nasty…" Lawg whispered to himself. She's out of control, banging every bunny we encounter and now the robot too."

“It’s cool, the Captain is pretty stupid, so just don’t keep bringing in more people and risking it, that’s all. And I will totally deny going along with it by the way, so if you go down…you go down alone. Just sayin.” He grinned. Captain Lawg shuffled off looking very perplexed. He decided to watch some old shows in the den as Duffy made him a very stout batch of margaritas.

“Hola.” She said handing him a glass.

“I can’t get drunk right now.” he said sipping his soda.

“Dude…a few is fine, cut loose and have fun or whatever, but you cant let yourself get this sober, your judgment is shot and you don’t wanna become a total sober-junky. Drink something, please.” She suggested.

“Your right, I just can’t believe what I just heard. I went to get more soda and heard everything.” He said looking very zoned out and bloodshot.

“Well, we pretty much knew they were screwing.” She shrugged.

“Yea but it’s worse. I think Uka is a sex addict.” He said

“Yea right, so she has a weird bunny-kink, doesn’t make her a sex addict.” She scoffed. "Makes her a nasty-ass weirdo but not an addict."

“It’s not just Marley. Apparently she went to some orgy on the space-station with him, and then the Delmarian guards while we were captured, and now the robot! I heard everything, and it explains why she suddenly is in such a good mood and sings with him when she thinks nobody is around. She’s screwing everyone.” He objected.

“Okay…firstly…the robot doesn’t even have dangle bits, so that doesn’t make sense. Secondly: so what if she has a bunny fetish and screws around all the time. Sure it’s nasty, ugh…don’t expect me to get it, but that’s her business. Hell, you try to score at every stop, even shady fuel stations. You’re a horn-dog yourself so what is the big deal?” she asked.

“Because she wouldn’t sleep with me when we first met…and yet she will have a sex-pile with bunnies and gay-robots. I don’t know weather to be mad that I am somehow so unattractive that a even a sex-addict wont consider me an option, or happy that I dodged a bullet and almost slept with a sex addict who dives into bunny-piles.” He said looking very confused.

“Really?” Duffy asked rolling her eyes. “You got lucky dodging that bullet. Luck of the Chafee in action. Are you so shallow and emotionally fragile in your confidence that one attractive woman refusing to fall for you just crushes your entire world?”

“Yep.” He nodded. "Seems that way"

“Okay, then listen up. You are a very good looking-ish guy, you have the aphrodisiac of being a legit Captain…not just a technicality one like me. You got great hair and zero body fat and you rock the grunge-look. Some women are just attracted to intelligence and despite being a good-looking guy, you’re just really dumb and shallow as a teaspoon.” She smiled comfortingly.

“Really? You mean that?” I’m really good-looking?” he asked with a smile.

“Sure, why not. You’re way out of her league, right up there with me. So don’t worry about stuff like that and nonsense about the robot. He can’t even have sex.” She scoffed.

“What about all the upgrades? Maybe he upgraded himself in other ways we didn’t know about.” he suggested. She looked oddly concerned.

“That’s just…I mean she can’t convert an asexual robot anyway…right?” she said nervously.

“I dunno. His other personality seems to be pretty chummy with the robo-ladies. Maybe there is a third personality that likes regular women. I'm hella confused. And we don’t know for a fact that they don’t make those upgrades. Good thing he went for Uka instead of you…that would make things even more complicated…can you imagine how distracted you would be with a muscular, chiseled black-guy suddenly adapted to sexuality after drifting alone in space for years, especially with robot-endurance and upgraded parts? You’d never leave the cargo-bay and we’d never get anything done around here. Lucky we got a nympho with no standards and no preferences just scooping up all the loose males.” he chuckled. She blinked a few times and stood up slowly, walking away towards the cargo bay.

"Duffy? Duffy? Thanks for the chat! I few better now."

"I don’t." she yelled.

“Uka suddenly stopped singing as footsteps approached, returning to her cleaning of the shuttle as if nothing happened. Duffy approached her and stood silently, looking very blank. She finished pretending to be buffing the hull.

“Hey Duffy, I just finished polishing your friend here.” She grinned. A fist suddenly smeared her grin and knocked her off her feet, dazed and confused. Duffy walked off in a jealous rage.

“What the hell was that?” asked Uka.

“I dunno. Duffy is weird about her shuttles, I told you polishing it up to surprise her might set her off. People get touchy with their things, plus I think she is screwing the captain, so that’s probably something to do with that.” Roy shrugged.

“Ugh, that one has no standards, does she?” Uka asked as Roy helped her up.

"Is he really that bad or has this been a particularly weird week?" he asked.

“It's every week. Space is weird, weird things happen in space. I think she is a sex addict or something. They both are. ” Uka said dabbing her lightly bloody nose.

“Days like this I’m glad I’m an asexual robot. Your organic needs are just…messy, and overcomplicated.” He said shaking his head.

“Are all robots asexual?” she asked.

“No, not all of us. But even then, the process is just so much easier, wireless virtual interface, just exchange wifi passwords and log on. Simple and quick.” He smiled.

“I think the Captain’s password is just “Password” or something.” she joked.

“I get the joke, but still…nobody is stupid enough to make it that easy.” He said moving along with his chores.

"Oh my dear naïve robot, you have much to learn about our brave captain." Uka sighed.