A rather alarmed looking Captain stared at a viewscreen, or rather the lack of one. In the massive gaping hole where the front of the ship should have been was now a rather large gold and red warship. Marley looked up and shuttered a little.

"Permission to poop a lil?" he requested.

"Not just yet, Marley…the Captain has the right to do the first panic-shit and I'm not quite there." he said pondering his options. He couldn’t think of any. The coms buzzed and a distorted voice came over the speakers.

"Unidentified craft, you are entering Delmarian Military space. Turn around or be destroyed." said the voice.

"Yea, so, here's the thing. We can't actually turn or slow down or do anything. As you have probably notices we are flying, or rather drifting in about 30 percent of a ship." he said as the rather open-layout slab of a ship slowly drifted.

"How…I don’t understand what I am seeing." said the voice.

"Long story, but basically we have no roof or walls, or thrusters, half a control panel and are essentially surfing an open-faced sandwich of a ship." he said nervously.

"How are you breathing?" he asked.

"Haven't figured that out either. Apparently there is a bubble of survivable air around us and that is as far as we determined. Spent 3 days hunkered in the middle of the ship trying not to go near the sides. Assistance would be pretty sweet. We are wide open to suggestions at this point, force field, teleporters, or shuttle pod…whatever."

"What exactly happened to your ship?" asked the Delmarian.

"Well, I'd be happy discussing that on literally any other ship than this one because the ship appears to be slowly dematerializing and our habitable island of refuge is getting small. So how about you teleport us to something with walls and junk, maybe get us some food so we can think properly."

"You are entering Delmarian space. By every right I have the authority to destroy you and your…part of a ship. Why wouldn’t I just let you dissolve and save ammunition?"

"Hmmm, was not thinking about that point, that’s a very good question…do you guys got cloaking technology?" Lawg asked. "Would ya like to?" he grinned.

"Not exactly a warm meal and soft bed is it?" he complained, sitting on a metal shelf in a prison cells, staring at a softball sized wad of raw meat and bone in a metal bowl.

"I let you live, I gave you protein…start explaining this cloaking technology before I throw you into space." Said the 6 foot tall bunny wielding a rather large rifle and armor painted with what he assumed was the blood of his victims.

"We found a small ship; it was a one man vessel emitting a strange signature I thought was a stealth drive. Since ours quit working I thought having the means to evade quickly and lose enemies was something we needed. We investigated it, the pilot was dead and the ship pretty damaged so I took the device in the back and some rations and we left. I thought the device looked like a weapon and weapons fetch a good price."

"The device…what was it?" he asked, stomping closer.

"I'm getting there, you wanted the story not the ending, let me finish. Shit…do you have any wine, I'm famished?"

"Wine later." he barked.

"Got it. So my engineer deduced that this was an experimental cloaking device. We decided to install it and use it. Pretty good way of getting out of trouble."

"You decided to take unknown alien technology and try to fit an experimental system into your ship? Even I know it would take months of research and testing to adapt alien technology to an incompatible ship, you can't even get a GPS upgrade without an adaptor." chuckled the mongo-rabbit.

"Well I saw a lot of sci-fi growing up and they made it look easy, any technology can be adapted in like 3 hours and made to work, so maybe I got a little overly optimistic. My bad. So yea, turns out we had no idea how to use it and the USB plugs were all different and we improvised. We found a power supply connector and hooked it to the 110 outlets in the ship. I figured…electricity is electricity anywhere in the universe. Turns out no, not remotely accurate. The thing looked like it was charging, or something. red light kept flashing like my phone does when charging so I left it and went to the kitchen for a burrito."

"What is a burrito…some kind of weapon?" he asked.

"Just the red ones, chemical warfare, you wouldn’t understand. Anyway I got a snack and went back and the thing was gone." he said.

Uka sat in a chair and sighed as a similar mega-bunny stared at her with arms crossed.

"Yea, he lost the device. Just…gone. How the hell do you lose a one meter square crate with a display panel? It took 3 of us to move it and he lost it by himself. Captain ass-hat at his finest. So naturally he accused us of hiding it. That is when he went through our bunks…like we could hide something that big in a headboard space. And I sort of…punched him in the face." Uka admitted.

"Right in the face!" Duffy grinned to her interrogator. "It was a hoot." she finished.

"She struck her Captain and was not executed?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Um, no…I mean he would have made her scrub the shitters for a week but he wouldn’t fight back or anything. Captain Lawg is not a…strong male." she hinted.

"So she is now the Captain?" he asked Duffy.

"No, what? Why?" she asked.

"If the Captain is not strong, it is the next in line who is responsible for removing him from command." he growled.

"Damn, Delmarian's have tough rules. So by your rules if I could beat the Captain down I'd get the ship unless someone else could take me down…right?"

"Correct. A formal challenge is made and if refused, the captain has forfeited all ranks."

"Nice…so is it a fair fight or are dirty rules cool too like while someone is sleeping you just, grab a pillow and" she said miming the action of smothering someone.

"Dishonorable killing is punishable by death."

"Sweet. I should get Captain Lawg to switch to Delmar Law when we get back. Never owned a big ship before. Could be fun" she grinned.

"Why did she strike the Captain?" Barked one of the big Delmarian's to Marley.

"Because he would have found the pony-suit. She is embarrassed, and rightly so, it's super weird." Marley yawned.

"What is a pony-suit?" he asked.

"Okay, apparently humans take this furry stuff and make costumes out of it and pretend to be ponies. Like, for no reason at all. just…dress like ponies and gather together and talk about friendship and imaginary kingdoms. It's fricking hilarious." he snickered.

"They wear the pelt of these ponies and try to mimic them? Is it for camoflage?" he asked.

"No it's not a pelt, its artificial fur and so damn colorful you'd have to be on drugs to not see them a mile away. It's just…for fun." Marley grinned.

"I am confused." said the massive Delmarian.

"Me too…isn't it great? Humanoids are so weird." he laughed, followed by the guard laughing as well.

Uka rolled her eyes.

"Yes, that is the pony suit." she sighed.

"Did you kill this creature for its pelt?" asked the guard.

"No, it…it's not a pelt. I made this myself. I cut the material and sewed it. It's my own design.

"And who was this?" he asked.

"This one is new, I'm on my 4th one cuz they keep getting ruined at the conventions. Pony's are surprisingly physical." she said. "This one is modeled after Princess sunshine but I call her Dutchess meyhem." she admitted.

The Captain, wrinkled his nose and wiped the blood from it.

"I said you could have it, didn’t have to hit me again." he sobbed.

"Where is the device!?" barked the interrogator.

"On the ship I think. We never found it. After it vanished and Uka attacked me out of nowhere just for asking about it, I went back to the cargo bay and the cargo bay door was also gone."

"You would have been sucked out." he argued.

"Yea, one would think, right, but there it wasn’t…big hole where the door used to be, staring at the stars and fully pressurized. We figured out that the device had cloaked itself and it was dematerializing the ship or something. Like it was phased different, or some stuff, I'm not a scientist, I'm a historian. I know stories and old junk, not phase shifters and disappearing cloaking devices. Anyway we didn’t want to get phased away so we just avoided the cargo bay. Then it started to spread and before long most of the ship was invisible or gone or out of flux or whatever. Can I get like a top-shelf margarita? Heavy lime and no salt, blended not frozen…actually frozen is okay too. No salt." he finished. The interrogator knocked him over with a sudden right hook.

"I'm gonna die." sighed Uka, as a large bladed weapon was handed to her. She stared down the pit at a 230 pound armored bunny with a similar weapon.

"Challenge cannot be refused." he growled.

"Why not? I can't even play badminton!" she protested, running away as he chased her.

"Some warrior you are." he chuckled, removing his mask and snarling.

"Who the shit gave you the impression I was a fighter? I suck at this stuff. I don’t even kill space-ants!" she yelled.

"Wearing the pelt of a fallen enemy is an invocation to challenge!" he said swinging his blade as she ducked.

"It's freaking polyester!!" she hollered angrily.

"What? No, the fat one." Captain Lawg muttered through his fat lip. "I said the cute one was kinda useless, the other one is a hell of a melee champion. You people just don’t listen." he said rubbing his jaw.

"Which one is the warrior!?" he barked. "I wish to speak with the strongest, not you." it roared.

"Wait…like for real or on the game because none of us really fight except the Wehoo Brawl game. Duffy is unbeatable. You realize that it's a game; we usually just play for snacks and odd cargo or duty roster. You do realize it's a toy?" he asked angrily throwing the game controller aside.

Uka screamed and ran from the swinging blade.

"Stop trying to decapitate me, please!" begged Uka, dodging another blade swipe. The crowd became quiet and a bunny in very expensive jewels and gold stood up.

"Stop the challenge!" he ordered. The bloodthirsty bunny saluted and stopped. "There has been a misunderstanding." he bellowed.

"Yes, thank you." Uka said dropping to her knees.

"The one who invoked the right of Fupar is not the child-warrior." he boasted.

"Hey, I'm not a child." she said getting up and immediately being sat down with a look of aggression.

"The Fupar they have selected as their champion is the one they call Duffy." he announced as they opened the gate and shoved Duffy into the ring.

"Shit." Uka sighed.

"Relax, I got this." Duffy muttered as she passed.

"No, no, no." Lawg protested. "I didn’t volunteer anyone for combat…what the hell?" he asked the guard as he circled.

"As Captain of a surrendering vessel, you have the Delmarian right to select your strongest Warrior to fight for your lives. You have selected Duffy. A coward's move but one I am forced to honor." he said spitting at him.

"No, I said I was surrendering the cloaking thing, not the ship. And you asked if I was the one for melee. Melee is the name of a game, and I said Duffy was unbeatable, I thought you played Wehoo, damnit. It’s a video game where you swing a toy around and I thought you wanted to play for our freedom. I was gonna make a bet. Duffy is a gamer, not a warrior. What is wrong with you Jackelopes?" Lawg yelled.

"Ah, then you are a man of fortune. A gambling man." smiled the monster.

"Luck of the Chafee." he said rolling his eyes.

"If you're champion loses…what will you give me?"

"Nothing…none of us are fighters. You just started hitting me and talking about presenting the Pelt of challenge and asking who was out strongest warrior. It’s a video game, its just fun. We all suck at fighting. you can have the cloaking thing, you gotta find it first so that is a bummer but when you do…all yours, no hard feelings and for our generous and expensive gift, you don’t kill us and we go the other way, You can have the game console, I'll throw in a crate of spinners for good measure and everybody is happy…right?" he bribed.

"Duffy will decide your fate." he smiled.

"Ahhhh, crap, were all gonna die." he sighed, slinking down in his seat.

"So they start telling me about this rainbow…and telling me it’s a friendship beam, and it defeats the monster with love!" Said Marley, wheezing from his excessive laughter as the guard rolled on the floor.

"A love-weapon…fake pony costumes…" he wheezed, as he wiped the tears from his eyes and contained his laughter.

"Yea, just a bunch of them prancing around in costumes, talking about this cartoon they made for children like it’s a real thing." he said sitting back up.

"You amuse me, runt. I will tell them to spare you even if the Fupar is lost." said the guard. Still chuckling.

"Whoa, back up there…Who the hell invoked Fupar?" Marley said looking serious.

"They thought the pony pelt was real, Fupar has already been started.

"Shit…Lawg cant fight…he'll be dead in 2 minutes or less. Let me talk to the Grand Hopper, I can explain it all."

"He will understand, but Fupar must be honored, your Captain will have to fight anyway. They have chosen Rydel." he informed.

"Yea, he is probably already dead." he sighed.

A tattooed and heavily pierced, 230 pound rabbit bounced off the stone wall and covered his eye as Duffy circled. She smirked at her.

"What's the matter, fluffers, didn’t get enough Carotene this morning or did I detach a retina on that last one?" she provoked.

"I consume the flesh of my ene-" he started as she flattened him with another uppercut. Duffy staggered, trying to see over her swollen left cheek.

"Quit monologing and fight like a man, you oversized stew-meat." she said kicking him in the head as he got back up.

Marley rushed to the edge of the observation rail.

"How dead is he?" he asked, locating Uka. She hugged Marley.

"I haven't seen the Captain, but Duffy has been holding her own against this guy for a while now. I think she is winning." she pointed out.

"No way…" he said looking over the rail. Duffy had Rydel in a head lock, rubbing his face in the dirt.

"EAT IT!" she barked angrily until he rolled and dumped her over. Marley made cone with his paws to amplify his voice.

"It's a fight to the death, you gotta kill him!" he yelled.

"Oh, damn. Seriously?" she asked, looking shocked as he tackled her. She rolled on top and pinned his paws back. "Sorry about this…but I got my homies counting on me. This isn't personal." she said head-butting him and following with a few wild punches. The crowd cheered and suddenly went quiet. A horrified look appeared on both Marley and Uka.

"Wow…" she said looking pale. "So that just happened." she said sitting down.

"Yea, Fupar got invoked, so that was bound to happen to one of them." he shrugged, grabbing a juice-box from his pocket and sipping away.

"So…I'm just gonna say this aloud to make sure I'm not just seeing things. Duffy just decapitated a Delmarian with his own sword…right?" Uka asked.

"Yep…Fupar is over. We get to go home and Duffy gets his personal belongings. This is why I left Delmar, this shit happens over the slightest thing. Had a cousin who took a guy's reserved Parking spot…Fupar… had the head stuffed and mounted. My Wife's friend skipped out on the check at Lucky Panda…Fupar. Lost his left paw. They call it a one-armed tip now when someone ditches."

"Geese…so any dispute you guys have and you just start Fupar-ing to the death?"

"Basically, I mean you can get away with stuff till you turn ten, mostly just get a few lashes or 6 month's behind bars, but after that…Fupar. Just tons and tons of Fupar for absolutely anything. Can you imagine me in that ring? I'd get quartered in 40 seconds. Little guys like me don’t live that long here. Screw this crap, I'll take my chances with a lovable dipshit and a convertible ice-cream truck." he said finishing his juice.

"Why are they still chanting FUPAR?" Uka asked.

"They got like 3 more Fupars scheduled, let's get Duffy and go." he said hopping down and leading her along.

Captain Lawg sat in his cell and as the door opened he yawned.

"Did you at least spare the hot one?" he asked.

"Wouldn’t say "spared" but I'm fine." Duffy said dryly. He turned quickly to notice she was also rather beaten up.

"I thought you got Fupared?" he asked.

"Thanks for that, shit-stick. I had to fight a 6 foot were-rabbit with a Tongleth."

"What's a Tongleth?" Asked Lawg.

"Four foot long food-processor blade with a handle. Don't worry about me, I Fupar-ed his fluffy ass." she said staggering to the bench to lay down.

"You look like hell."

"You know we are on Delmar Prime, right?" she asked.

"So?" he shrugged.

"Delmarian battle-ship rules say that of a crewman thinks his Captain is too weak to lead, he or she can just kick his ass purple and they get to be Captain. You sure you wanna tell me how I look right now?" she asked.

"You look pretty, don’t tell anyone I said that."

"You look pretty too. I like your eye-shadow." she said giving him the bird.

"Okay you get one freebie cuz you did the Fabar thing, and that’s it." he muttered. She gave him another bird as the others entered the cell.

"Ugh, damn, Duffy…you need a doctor." Uka said looking at her eye.

"Na, I'm fine, ice pack and some rest and I'm good for tomorrow." she brushed it off.

"Where did you learn to fight?" she asked.

"Grew up on a starship freighter with 5 brothers and an all-male crew. You learn real quickly when the rations get low who gets seconds and who doesn’t. You get mean or you get hungry." Duffy said nodding slowly.

"Clearly you were unstoppable, haven't missed a meal in yourlugh" Lawg said getting a light punch to the nuts and rolling off the bench to the concrete floor.

"Keep yakin, Captain, still on Delmar Prime. Don’t make me Fupar you with a bedpan." she coughed.

"You seem pretty calm for someone who just killed someone." noted Marley.

"Freighter fleet runs through the Delmar 2 system, lotta pirates and smugglers around there. You think I haven't Fupar-ed a few in my day?" she yawned, getting comfortable for her nap as the Captain wheezed and stayed in a ball, holding his.

"Right, moving on. So when do we get our ship back…or what's left of it?" asked Uka as a guard entered the cell.

"You're ship will be ready to leave in 3 hours." he growled.

"Why not now?" asked Uka.

"We are keeping the cloaking device, it will take some time to allow your ship to become visible again so we can find it."

"Hey, I won the Fupar! You just gonna steal our shit anyway?" barked Duffy.

"You won the Fupar, so you are free to leave once we have checked your ship for Delmarian goods and technology.

"Awe man, my stickycakes." said Marley. Duffy looked mad.

"And I get to keep the dead guy's stuff, so why are you raiding our ship? Don’t make me drag you into the Fupar pit!" she said getting up.

"I'm sorry, it's not my decision. Your Captain made a bet with the other Captain." he said apologetically. Duffy slowly looked down at Lawg, who was looking rather terrified.

"You bet against me?" she said looking more sad then angry.

"Well, I tried to explain the confusion but Fupar can't be stopped once begun even if I explained it. I figured I'd make a little profit, silver lining in a bad situation." he said guarding his nuts and scooting away from Duffy. She looked very sad.

"You guys didn’t believe in me?" she asked softly.

"Not remotely." shrugged Marley.

"The guy was huge, I didn’t know you had combat training." argued Lawg.

"Damn…guess I'll go collect my winnings by myself." she said moping and shuffling out of the cell.

"That was harsh." said Uka, jabbing Marley in the side.

"Oh yea like you would have bet on her." he replied.

"Actually I lost a hundred credits, didn’t seem right to say it though." she defended.

"We all really suck, don’t we?" asked Marley.

"Little bit." nodded Lawg.

Duffy sat at the picnic table aboard the SS Tast-E-Chill and a smile appeared on her face.

"You guys…" she said tearing open a gift and looking touched as she removed a very well-made fur-coat.

"We pooled our spending money and had Rydel's pelt made into something nice for ya." Marley smiled.

"I figured you would have been against it, being a vegetarian and this sorta being one of your people made into a coat and all." she said hugging him.

"Na, he was an asshole, beat me up a lot in school." he shrugged.

"It's beautiful, thank you guys." she said looking less bruised and more filled with warmth.

"Delmar Prime is like space-vegas…you just leave your bad memories there. No hard feelings." Captain Lawg smiled.

"So no duct-work duty cleaning out the troogle poop for punching you in the sack?" she asked.

"Oh you definitely got yourself duct-work cleanup duty, but like…2 shifts if you do a good job." he smirked.

"Gutsy move." Nodded Marley.

"Yea, I learned something on planet cotton-tail. You gotta be firm and toughen up to be a captain, especially with a crew this size. After my epic battle in the prison cell I realized that maybe I could use my bravery on deck and take things a bit more serious." he boasted.

"Didn’t a hundred and ten pound bunny wail on you till you cried?" asked Uka.

"Insubordination…2 days Ductwork cleanup." he said firmly.

"Duffy punched you in the balls, plus you owe me a hundred bucks from last week." she reminded.

"Alright, then we are even?!" he said with a hint of question.

"Good negotiating work Captain, way to stand firm." she saluted, returning to her post.

"Negotiation is a form of firmness; a good Captain is both rigid and willing to listen to his crew. Everybody back to stations, we have work to do." he said with a look of determination as he shifted and the sound of gears grinding made his expression fade to one of uncertainty.

"Parking brake is on." Uka noted, putting her feet up on the console.

"Touché, Tast-E-Chill, Touché." he said nodding his respects and pulling the lever.

"Aaaand that's the wipers." Uka yawned.