Part 1

Light lived a lonely life since his childhood. His name was given as his parent want him to live in the Light, always doing right thing and have a bright future; Mockingly, for all people Light had known, the person always lack what their name indicate how they should be; a guy who his name indicated he’s handsome was actually average; a girl who her name indicate she has a mild personality was actually an active and not mild at all; … for all people Light known, include himself, since he always found his surround a thick darkness. The light was what his life still lacking

Light only childhood friend were books. He grew up with his grandparents and like people said, “you fit where you live”, Light’s life style was as same as an old man and even the way he thought was no different. Light was almost completely blind about technologies in the era he was living in.

Said to be descendant of kings from hundreds years ago, a brand family of a brand, the great grandson of a wealthy merchant in the war era long ago, Light have a hard life.

“What is the big deal? All left is the family name that many others family out there also have and all the factories, land and half of our house has been took away by the government in the name of distribute for “people who have nothing” unwillingly. What is the point of bring it up proudly? It’s a shame to mention about it” was what Light always thought. Sadly, his family wasn’t thinking the same. Their mind was unable to let things go. Light was grown up in his family expectations, to rebuild their glory in the pass.

Until that day, his parents leaved the house for different problems. Light, which in his early teens broke free from all his chains, from all of the expectations people had put on him in the pass and ran wild. From one of the top students in the class, he has fallen to the bottom. Since no one expected anything from him anymore, there was nothing he must do. He lived for no one then, not even for himself because from the moment he was born, he has lived on for the others. His family never let him lived for himself or even dreamed of it. He didn’t how to fight for himself, he didn’t know how to live for himself.

Could you tell there was a river there when a flood came and everywhere become the same, covered by water?

If his life was like a river until now, then Light’s life has become an aimless life, like a river in the flood.

Bad academic result in his secondary school only allowed Light to join a 3rd rate high school far away from his house. The thing was, in a place where the average was so low, Light suddenly became a top student again. How funny could that be? And so there were people who got close to him, using him for their own advantage, and then backstab him. Light, who just overcome his previous trauma fallen again. He became a typical delinquent. Most of his time table back in the high school must be in the game center and when he was not, he broke into a fight with others delinquents and sometimes also small fry criminals, throwing his life away.

In this period of time, Light started to take a liking of novels and manga, specially the fantasy ones. There were people who drink to lessen their sadness. There were people who ruin themselves with drugs in sorrow to seek delusion joy. For Light, all he need back then was a story, about adventures in other world or just a simple life in a fiction world. Most of it about people who fight for a happy life, the others were comedy one which cheer him up. Light has never dream for himself before and because he has forgot how to dream, it would be fine to use someone else’s that put inside those story as the materials for his dream. If he couldn’t make his own dream, he would somehow borrow it for the time.

I bet anyone have at less one time they want to live another life, a different life. If it’s not, either you are unable to dream or you are actually the happiest person in your own world.

That was why when his uncle gave him a chance to study in a college that include programing in the study progress, Light thought he would made a game by himself, something similar to the one he read in the novel. He feel a little bit happy back then when thinking about fulfill his first dream despite his family was using some of their old connections to get him in there, which he did not like at all. However, things were not always like you predict it…

Graduated from a less-known college, lack in experience and maybe also determination, there was no job match what Light has learned at school as he found. What he has learned was something between IT and Commerce field. He has basic knowledge of software program, accountancy, banking, export, import, information management but all of it was in basic only, a jack of all trade in nutshell. His programing skill wasn’t as good as people who trained in an IT school. His accountancy skill wasn’t as good as people who attended an accountancy class. He known how banks operating but did not trained to work in there. He could do the export and import related works just fine but it was a saturated business in his region and since his region was one of the top 10 in the world about political corruption, the main requirement for this kind of job was connections and ability to bribe without letting any trace behind. Since Light hated to flatter people and doing sneaky stuffs, he feel like doing this kind of job would make him got sick. Information management was more of a support skill than a job to Light. When competing for a job, in all the fields he has been trained, Light never been the best. That was the fate of a jack of all trade. He was unable to find a suitable job in this era of specialist.

Light took a part-time job in the shopping mall about 5km away from his home. He was 22 years old already, he need income so he would not be a weight for his family. His family already was his weight already, sadly. Money was unable to buy happiness, people said, but there was a need of it for living.

-“What a rip-off! All this thing could do is showed me a movie without any interacting and yes they call this virtual reality? It’s nothing much different than watching a 3D movie. ” Light complained after he leaved the virtual reality stall

The VR stall Light just left was located inside the shopping mall. He passed it every day when he went to work. However, this was the first time he decided to step inside the VR stall.

Virtual reality (VR) was a computer-generated scenario that simulates a realistic experience. The immersive environment could be similar to the real world in order to create a life-like experience grounded

Current VR technology most commonly uses virtual reality headsets or multi-projected environments, sometimes in combination with physical environments or props, to generate realistic images, sounds and other sensations that simulate a user's physical presence in a virtual or imaginary environment. A person using virtual reality equipment was able to "look around" the artificial world, move around in it, and interact with virtual features or items. The effect was commonly created by VR headsets consisting of a head-mounted display with a small screen in front of the eyes, but could also be created through specially designed rooms with multiple large screens. It couldn’t be denied that the VR world looked so “real”, but “look” only. The Virtual Reality created in the modern days couldn’t re-create the taste on your tongue, the feeling on your skin or the smell on your nose since the devices that able to re-create such things was not invented yet.

Since Virtual Reality technology was developing and mostly in testing phase, the expense for one try was really expensive, at less for a part-timer like Light. The expense he has to pay equal to one working day worth of him. It was a really large expense to someone from a regular family that the main workforce was freelancers and part-timers.

-“If I can travel to the pass, I will punch my pass self who about to step in this remarkable bad VR stall in the face. No! I better stop him from coming in there instead. He is “me” after all. I shouldn’t punch myself” Light said after thinking for a while. Monologue was a habit of him born from a long period of time living a poor social life. It brought him a mutual impression from his classmate in college: “weird”.

The story would never progress if our main character happy with his part-timer life, forever waiting for a chance to change his life or a suitable job for him.

The fact is, after years escaped from his family’s expectations and overcome his pass trauma, Light learned how to dream. Not just borrow or mimic other dream anymore

It made him unhappy with the current conditions

How he was living, how he worked…

He wants to change

His only bound was his feeling of guilty toward the relative helped him took this job but since the work was boring and the others staff are incompetent, Light decided to quit the job after a long time thought about it. 3 weeks already passed since the day he quit, the fact was Light still wandering around this shopping mall seems quite suspicious.

Light rarely brought anything. Most of his salary he earned was spend for food and drink. He rarely turned his room light on so he has almost no electric bill to pay, so his water bill and gas bill.

Back to the screen! If it was just today he came to try the VR stall then it could be an acceptable event. However, his appearance in this place until today was abnormal in a regular stand point. He comes here every day for a meal and only took leave once a week despite his no longer exist income. Simply put it, he acted like he still working here in front of his family and come here every day for a cheap meal, a combo of ice milk coffee and chicken bread he orders every day since the day he worked in here. There would be another reason, which Light himself refused to admit, was he just want to see the girl who worked in the fast food stall. He has a crush on her.

Learning to dream, Light also started to know about love. It was not the desire to breed that many young people nowadays mistake for love. It was the desire to protect a girl which one took a liking for.

“I can’t bring anything good for them with my current self. It will be better if they know nothing of my feeling”

It was what Light always thought. This wasn’t the first time and neither the last. It was always his selfish love he keeps for himself. It was always that one way love that he keeps hidden. He could far away from the one he loved. He could meet them every day. Nothing will change in their relationship. Light could look after the one he loved, offered his help in need and leaved after then. He could only be a part-time guardian protecting his loved one. There would be nothing changed. Because his love was everything he has. Because he did not known about happiness, he was afraid he could be unable to give it to his loved one. And so he keeps his selfish love for himself. In another point of view, maybe what he did could be compared to how the character named Sengoku Nadeko in the novel series Monogatari thought about this one way and distorted “love”

“Falling in love with someone is a simply marvelous thing”

“With just that you feel like going on living, and with just that you cheered. You fill with a warm and fuzzy feeling”

“The world is full of hardships, there are so many unpleasant things and many that don’t go your way. Troubles are only ever piling higher”

“When you want to cry, you can laugh”

With this thought, Light used to believe thing would be find as long as nothing change

And so everything was never changed before

Until that day

Light’s thought changed

I did not know was it because the angry with the rip-off VR stall?

I did not know was it the corruption of emotions from a long time suffering?

Or it was nothing more like a sudden thought, a flash inside his mind. A thought coming from nowhere, as sudden as the Big Bang that broke the stalemate and started everything, as same as evolutions that created new species.

“I want to change my life. I want to be able to truly love. I want to leave something behind that will be a statement of my existent in the future instead this one-way unknown love, this self-satisfy and delusion happiness life” He thought

“But what should I do? I’m only good at things I like”

“Maybe I should try to build a VR system, a real one that can give the user experience all senses in there, a full dive one”

“It will be hard with my current self alone so I will need to find helps”

“It will be a gamble of my life but since my life already reaches the bottom, the only way it can only go up now”

“ After register the copyright of this VR system, all I need to do after then is waiting for money flow to my pocket”

…

Somehow, Light started to counting eggs before he even brought a chicken

Oh well!

That was the day Light, one of the seven billions individual in this world, some “no one”, determined to create a real VR system. It was also the day rumors of a mental ill guy standing in the middle of the shopping mall and talked to himself spread in the shopping mall employees like wildfire.