There is a saying in my homeland that « our people have an innate talent for euphemisms ». I must admit it's appropriate, since I use some almost everywhere, unfortunately. Around here, we prefer to be direct. The people of Uruk criticize me for being cryptic, which is saying a lot! I try to be gentle, dammit! Why doesn't anyone understand that? Yes, I raise lions and I can decapitate a soldier with a spoon, but I am making efforts! What's the point of writing all this? This diary won't answer my concerns.

Anyway, I happen to mention it regularly, but I'm upset with time. That's one of the prizes for immortality: to me, ten years feels like a day. I used to just look at a clock to remember that I am indeed awfully old, but now... Worse, Elohim who have kept a calendar can be counted on the fingers of one hand. I don't want to go into debt with one of my fellows just to know a bloody date. Too bad, my margin of error is going to be about ten or fifteen centuries.

Humans have a hard time assimilating these ideas, because a week accounts for a big portion of their life expectancy. Every minute that passes brings the lone individual closer to an inexorable ending. They sprinkle years with holidays aplenty, as if the slightest second actually meant something! Yet every event ends as a warning: time moves on, without pity. I was like that as a child. I mean, 'child'! If you are mortal your definition of the word will be quite unlike mine. My enlightenment came in my late teenage years, which means that I stopped aging fairly early. When I look at myself in the mirror, it's the same face that has been there forever.

I have gained so much practice that I can decide whether my hair can grow or not. A 'young' Eloah could live a month without eating, drinking or sleeping. With age, our minds get used to our condition and the time frame increases. I doubt that I will need to feed myself for several decades, unless I feel like it. However, our brains remain fundamentally human. We take into account chronologies in relation to daily habits. As soon as sleep and meals are spaced out, our days become endless.

Time devours all things. Nothing remains unscathed for long, not even an immortal. We can change in five years, so imagine a thousand! Experience alters our perspectives, no matter what we used to believe. Our worldview is nothing like that of a mortal, for example. This is why Elohim say so openly that they belong to another 'species', despite their biological proximity. It is also the reason why we often have a harsh disposition towards you. In spite of our efforts, your perception of things is so contrasting that it quickly becomes impossible not to appear insensitive or emotionless.

How many people have you talked to in your life? How many more could you meet in two millennia? Multiply that by thirty and you get an estimate of Uru's age. Knowing this, are you really surprised that he never remembers a name or that the poor guy is not aware of a servant even after twenty years of duty? Many people blame us for not taking anything seriously... but we do! However, an hour is meaningless to us. An individual's existence? Detail. Thousands of deaths? Insignificant. But this does not indicate any lack of respect for humanity.

Try to sustain an anthill everyday. You will surely understand our point of view. Your people have no memory. Everything changes in sixty years, barely. What was obvious yesterday will be obscure and unintelligible tomorrow. You lack perspective on your life. No human seems to understand naturally that answers can come late. Just because you don't see a solution today doesn't mean there will never be one. You are hopelessly locked into a restricted perception of time. To us, who see the world from a multi-millennial perspective, you give the impression of exaggerating trifles and ignoring the most crucial.

Human civilizations have this strange tendency to be simultaneously excessively far-sighted and totally unreasonable. Your decisions are always made as if the slightest word could destroy a world, but your actions have no insight. The inability to keep the passage of years in perspective, to integrate the vastness of time, gives humans a penchant to overestimate their value. For me, who has experienced an entire ice age, hearing kids think they can predict the end of the world and come to explain to me that it will happen in a few seconds on my scale, makes me sarcastic.

Even if you suddenly became capable of splitting atoms, you would still be far from having the strength to permanently damage this planet. A millennium is a short time, and it's enough to deal with your nonsense. Start instead by building a society that survives the ages, everything else will follow. For now, we will help. Your current state is partly our fault. Enki convinced me to settle because he said I would have a role to play, a purpose. That being a 'goddess' is obviously not limited to mindless worship, but allows us to repair these damages.

« Our duty is to guide this people towards their rebuilding! » he repeats constantly. We were lost. He guided us to a new beginning. His enthusiasm illuminates our lives. His will strengthens ours. I hope he is right. I really do.