《Just a Dream (First Draft)》Prologue 5
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It was only when the last of ITs core was burned away that I became aware of myself and started to ride down the last vestiges of rage.
I did not take control of it as there was no need for it as it would dissipate naturally with time.
It took quite some time but eventually it did and as my awareness was no longer clouded I noticed my own state. There was nothing but my complete heart and its two main vessels once connected to a foreign core that was not there anymore.
` Hmm, my physical body must have died and my other part of the core followed the connection to me here. ` A feeling of loss came with it but I did not complain it did the job it was meant for, kind of.
Seeing myself like that was a bit weird, so I tried to change back into humanoid form and noticed I barely had any essence left. In fact soon it too would be spent. Luckily it was then that I noticed that while that THINGS core was burned away its outer shell was still here, at least in pieces.
Weird but it did not matter at the moment so I immediately sent my WILL to them and began to suck them into myself and used it to build myself an essence body with plenty in reserve to function for a long time.
Once it was complete I looked at myself for a bit to see if everything was as it should be. ` I think I got it right and to be honest I didn't really need it to be anatomically correct 100%. `
With that done I looked around but all I saw was white space with nothing else here especially a house sized ball of essence waiting to eat me. ` This is the best outcome possible. Me being alive and it being nonexistent. `
Now all that's left is to figure out what to do next. Hmm lets first check my memories to see if there is anything there to tell me my next step, and to be honest there was little there.
Everything before the RAGE consumed me is there but after that is all clouded is the best description i can make of it.
Just in case I examined all my memories and the events that led to this moment. With better clarity than ever before it was not hard for me to tell that under any other circumstances or if even with a tiny little change happened it would have been impossible to win. But with the chances so skewered against me it did happen. So what was it that affected my chances?
After taking a better look at the critical I broke its exterior core defense and noticed it. ITs attention shifted for a second away from me. ` But why would that happen at such an important time? `
Thinking a bit over it I can only come to one conclusion. There was an external factor in play and there was only one other factor that could come to my attention.
` This place, this white space I find myself in, must hold some secrets. `
Talking to it probably won't work so I tried to send my will into it, and I found nothing. No matter what I tried there was no response.
Well it did not matter if I found an answer or not. It did not change the fact I needed to get out of here.
` If there is nothing here I should go check out The Simulator but how do I do that? ` Not finding anything here I chose to personally go check it out.
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Slowly approaching the end of this place I left a tiny ball from my essence here just in case I have a little beacon to guide me here again. Being back in the Void after all that happened left me with little impression like it did the first time I came into it. Ignoring it as best as one could, I tried my best to remember the feeling of the reality I lived in before all this happened. It may have been a simulation but it still didn't make it any less real to me.
Sensing for it for a while I located it, or something similar and set a course for it. With time having no meaning it did not matter how long it takes. Could be a second, could be more but eventually i did arrive.
In front of me was a tiny little point of light but I did not enter it. I just watched it for a while wondering what i would find inside. Eventually I did go inside or at least tried to. For some reason I could not enter.
Wandering what the problem was, I placed my hand on that tiny point of light and pushed my WILL inside. Immediately a connection formed to it. Taking a few seconds to get used to it the answer to my question came.
The Simulator was closed and it was asking me if I wanted to power another cycle. Out of curiosity I wondered how much of my current stores of essence it would take to power it and the answer came. It would take a whopping 30% to do it.
Resolving myself I denied it.` What's done is done, even if I do power another one it wont change my resolve to go forward into the future instead of looking into the past. `
But just because I didn't power another cycle did not mean I did not try to fish for other answers.
First I looked into how it was built and no replay came. Next was to show me the scenario it was programmed to play.
To be honest it was kind of eerie seeing one's life planned out like that. Day by day, and seeing the influence certain choices and events would bring out a certain kind of response out of me to make me lose my will to live.
No one would like that but I could not take my awareness from it and so I continued till the end or at should have.
I stopped the moment all this started, by this I meant the car accident. I was not meant to die this early and should have lived for quite a few decades more.
`Was my accident a response to the changes applied to the current scenario? No matter what, I am outside the loop and that's all that matters. `
Done looking at my planned out timeline and seeing nothing else being able to do here. I removed my will and plotted my return to that place. ` Hmm it's weird referring to that place as that place as it no longer functions as a laboratory I will call it the Midway Station. `
This time having placed my little beacon in it was easier to find it and return to it.
Once I was in front of it I did the same as I did to The Simulator. I placed my hand on it and injected my will into it and the response came..
Like last time I tried asking questions but this time came no response. Nothing worked at all.
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` Weird according to that THING there should have been information stored inside. Oh well, can't do anything about it. `
Not entering it this time I tried to feel the Original body that is stuck in time somehow. It took me a while but I did find it. Another journey through the Void and I was in front of it.
There was the body of a child lying on the ground. Beside stood another boy and the surroundings were still as well. It was as if one took a photo of the event but in a three dimensional way.
For a long time I watched this moment frozen in time and wondered.
`If I untangle this moment I would 100% take that body and live its life but do I want to? Yes I could right all the wrongs that I experienced and do all the things I had imagined I would do if I ever went back into the past, I mean everybody did that. ` Everybody had regrets that they would like to change.
Knowing myself the best, I knew what would happen if I took this chance. ` If I take this chance I know the first moment I get back I would bury everything deep down like it never happened.
If I did that then all I have done so far would turn out to be just a Dream. `
` Or does nightmare describe it better? `
` Then I would try to forget it as best as I could and live a happy life that I could have potentially had but that moment I would become a different entity that has chosen the past instead of the future and everything I went through would be meaningless. `
` NO, I burned that bridge when I used it as fuel to fight that THING. NO, my suffering has shaped my past and made the version of me that looks at the future, not the past. `
Coming back out of my delusion with new resolve is good and all but it wont change a thing if I can't figure out how to do it.
To figure it out I tried to inject my WILL into this moment frozen in time and found out an interesting point. It came to me as if it waited just for me all this time to give me the knowledge.
I finally understand how the Original did this. Apparently as the Original was not meant to die. In the moment of his Death, the timeline it should have lived and all its influence it would have gathered and used on the world got untangled at that time and collapsed into Potential Chaos which if one could manipulate it, one could do anything one desired if one the required amount of it and had the WILL to do it.
And The Original sure did it. In that moment he wanted to live and somehow tapped into this power and so it showed him the way and so the original used a fraction of the power to freeze his own Time and left the Time coordinates here, to which it could return whenever it wanted. After that he switched locations to the Void and there events happened that led to me.
“ Bullshit, this is BULLSHIT. ” What kind of influence could he have had on the world to warrant such a huge amount of power.
` Damn now I am really curious what kind of life he could have had if not for the unexpected death. Which now that i think about it, if its future was that strong, then how did his past result in death? `
` Guess I can only speculate as I don't know how his timeline went. If I had to guess then somebody didn't like the things the Original would have done and offed him to prevent it. `
` It didn't matter I am a different person and I will shape a different future for myself. `
Back to the main issue. I had the method but not the power to fix my problem. I tried to see if I could use Life Essence as a substitute and a result came back.
` Yes I could. ` This time I tried again to see how much it would cost me but results came with bad news. I didn't have enough essence to do it. It seemed tampering with Time and Space in the Real World is very expensive. ` So many rules to bend to get what you want. No wonder The Original switched to the Void. `
Retrieving my WILL from the time freeze I thought if there was a way to get more essence but entering The Simulator was the only thing that came to my mind. ` Best I avoid that temptation and leave it all behind. `
` Hmm, wait, The Simulator had been powered by essence for a long time so maybe I could squeeze some out of its system. `
With that idea I made my way to the Midway Station and then to The Simulator. Once there again I injected my WILL inside and asked if I could take its power for myself.
Weirdly now I was presented with a deconstruct option. ` Why was I not shown this option before? `
Ignoring it, I initiated the process. At first nothing changed, but after a while I noticed a change and essence started to pour into me, and WOW there was a lot.
When it was done I felt bloated as if i would puke it out any moment now .It took me a while to get it under control.
After being done with that I noticed something in front of me. It had no form but I knew what it was. I felt it not long ago. It was Potential Chaos just waiting for something to use it but there was little of it. Either way I used some of my essence to wrap it up and brought it with me.
Back at the Midway Station I did the same only this time there was only Potential Chaos but still it was only a small amount as it was much smaller than the simulation. Gathering it, I left for the time frozen moment which will decide my future.
Once there I started to experiment. Well less experiment and more touching and feeling. I wanted to see if there was anything more I could do but with essence it felt like all I could do is use it as fuel to plot a course and that's it. Even taking into account the essence I took from the simulation it would take about half of what I had.
But when I projected my WILL into the Potential Chaos to see how it would affect the situation and my desired result I came to a terrible resolution.
To get my desired result first I would have to enter the body, then use my essence as best possible to mimic the body of the child. After that I would release the time freeze and influence the body to adapt to my essence. While it wouldn't take long it would still take time normally and there came the crutch of it all.
` There is still a kill switch programmed into the body and I dont know how to fucking remove it. Ha, even after all that has happened it would all still come down to the initial problem of the Body dying and the Soul leaving. `
Let's think more about this. `My previous physical body had the kill switch removed and since my essence form is modeled after it, it should be able to force this body to remove it as well. `
` The problem would be the time. I could probably use essence as fuel to accelerate the process but not knowing the amount needed, it would need and that would put in jeopardy the timeline I wanted to have. `
`Ha, am I really meant to change my past as if some unseen force has already decided my destiny. `
“ HELL NO, only I get to decide my Destiny. ” I shouted at no one in particular.
There had to be a way out of this. Let's think it over again.
My problem now is the body dying and I don't want to spend a huge amount of essence to fix it with record speed.
Why is the body dying? Because there is a kill switch.
Why is there a kill switch? Does not matter now.
What is the cause of the kill switch? It's the Soul leaving the body
Why did the Soul leave the Body? No idea, will ponder on that later.
` So it all comes down to the Soul. To fix the problem I need to fix the Soul situation, but how do I do that? I have never even seen what one looks like, let alone feels. `
` So that means I need to get my hands on a Soul, but from where? `
When I looked around to check and the only things I can access in this frozen moment of time I saw it. The boy stuck with my body in this time freeze. ` Ah yes, how could I forget about you? My best friend from childhood, I am sorry I sidelined you so hard, I even forgot you existed. `
As I came in front of him and placed my hand on his head as I assumed the Soul would be there and used essence to check him out. The results were not promising.
To my essence it looked like a tiny ball and it was tied to the head by a small amount of Life Essence. Examining it better I noticed the Soul was attuned to this particular essence and it would probably be of no use even if time was not frozen. No this won't work.
Leaving him alone I went back to my future body. Knowing now where the Soul resided, I looked at my body and easily found the place and truly it was not there but I did notice the small amount of life essence it was attuned to.
` Hmm what if I create a temporary one for myself. ` Immediately I tried it. Following the example of my friend over there I made something similar and tried placing it in its place. ` Umm, how will I know it works? `
A second later I took my Potential Chaos and used it to show me if it works or not. ` Handy stuff this is. For a small amount it shows me the potential of something I intend to realize and if it's possible or not. Definitely will need to find a way to produce some for myself in the future. `
I used it but I was not happy. ` My copy won't work. It seems that as Souls get attuned to somebody's life essence they sort of become unique. `
` Hmm is there a way to see the Soul that inhabited the body. ` Taking another small usage of potential chaos I checked if it can show me it, and it could. So I used it to make a projection of it.
With that as my model I began to try my best to transform my life essence into the exact thing but unlike my first try with my friends Soul this one felt hollow as if I was only able to replicate its appearance and not its substance.
Not willing to give up, I tried to use my friend's soul as the base and then model it to work with my current life essence instead of the projection. I wanted to see if I could create one that worked with me as the base.
At first I only had the shape and it didn't feel like a Soul at all. So I tried again, and again, and with every try it looked and felt more real but it was also as my skill got better that I noticed a strange resonance forming between my life essence and the fake Soul.
So I continued working on it. ` The fake Soul only has to fool my future body for a few hours, maybe a bit more that's all. `
Time passed as I worked. The resonance appeared more and more and stronger and stronger. It felt as if they would fuse together into one but for some reason they would not. I was definitely missing something. I tried some more but the results did not change.
To be honest I was sure with my current skill i cool fool that body for long enough for it to adapt to my essence. ` But there is this feeling that is gnawing at me in the back of my essence mind that I am onto something and all I needed was to find that missing feeling and everything would click into place. `
So I used up some more of my potential chaos to see if it could tell me what I needed.
I eagerly went over everything it showed but all I saw was my younger physical body. ` Why did it show me the body? Is the body the missing piece? But what would a body have that would fit into this equation. ` Not quite understanding, I used some more Potential Chaos to show me.
This time it showed me tiny sparks appearing all over the body. ` Is it showing me the body's nervous system? ` Once I figured what it showed me this time the picture changed to the whole body and I did not see anything special.
Not understanding I urged my WILL to consume a bit more chaos for a clearer understanding, but all that came was the same as before. First it showed me the body's natural electrical pathway and then the whole body again.
` Hmm, Let's rock my ethereal synapses which I definitely don't need to think at all, in my current form. Electricity, pathway, electricity, pathway, electricity, path, wait if I remember right I read that the physical bodies generates a natural electromagnetic field. How would that help though? Why would I need the electromagnetic field at all to work with my Soul and Life Essence? `
` Well if one does not understand the theory one just has to experiment to get there. ` First I tried to see if I could generate the electromagnetic field. With a body near me as an example I immediately try it with varying success.
While I could generate it with my essence body it was so weak and short lived that it might as well have not been even there and the expenditure was quite high. It just does not seem like the answer I was looking for.
Another usage of the Potential Chaos netted me the same. It looks like I have all the pieces and all I need is to find a way to combine it.
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