《Just a Dream (First Draft)》Prologue 4
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` Three terrible choices. No matter which one I chose, I am doomed. `
The only thing the first one will do is prolong this suffering.
The second one is an option to take, but because I am here now means my predecessor would never even consider it without a good chance of beating that THING and if I lose it would probably mean the end of ME.
The third is the same as the first one. All it would do is make me feel a tiny bit better for messing with it at least before I got torn apart.
“ No matter how I look at this and knowing myself the desired ending probably won't ever happen. ” I said it. “ My part is still better than yours. At least I will lose my memories unlike you who is doomed to stay here for eternity. ” Giving it a pause to think for a second and I continued.
“ But I'm sure you have tried your best to prevent that possibility. What was your solution? ”
~ Yes that ending is not acceptable. My solution was based on the cycle. I began to alter the loop by twisting events to produce a version of YOU that will accept assimilation and bring an end to this. ~
` Eh, so my current past was not the original one. ` I guess I should not be surprised considering the original had been able to somehow make all this and my past was not pretty. ` Now I'm curious how the original timeline went. `
“ I remember The Original did not change the scenario as it came with drawbacks. How did you fix that and what are the changes and what was your goal? ” I asked.
~ The goal was a version of The Original that has lost all Will to live. With that as the goal changes were introduced but as the cycle had to be provided energy by ME the changes would be very small as the power drawback was greater the greater the change was. With the nature of the cycle small changes would stack and provide results. ~
~ To not deplete my power too much I took a regular LUNCH break. ~
An uncontrollable face twitch appeared on my face as I heard the word lunch.
“ And now it is my turn eh, and what do you think are the chances I will agree to the assimilation? Actually tell me also how this assimilation works too. ” I ask for knowledge as the second choice is the only way out. The only question is how high my chances are.
~ I am unable to estimate as it has never happened before. There are two ways to assimilate. The first is to overwhelm your opponent by pure force of essence. This option is not available as there is a failsafe protocol in place to prevent a forceful intrusion. ~
~ That leaves only the second way available. The second is more dangerous for both the initiator and the initiated. To prevent the failsafe from triggering you will be the initiator. Once the assimilation is started one does not battle with pure essence but with WILL. ~
` Well I guess the choice is already made. ` Now all it takes is to gather the courage and make the final bet that my WILL is stronger than ITs but something in the back of my essence mind tells me there is more to this. Thinking for a bit it comes to me. ` There must be a connection between will and essence, but best confirm it. `
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“ What is the connection between essence and WILL? ”
~ WILL is fueled by essence in return a stronger WILL controls more essence. ~
“ FUCK ” No wonder my predecessor never chose that option. Just looking at that THING, the size of an average house I can already predict the outcome. It will be my loss hundred percent.
So there must be a way to increase my chances.
` Think, think, common, think my ethereal, essence fueled mind. If my WILL is not strong enough is there another source I can use it with, ah yes emotions. My earlier event showed me how emotions worked with essence, yes emotions are the key. `
Will it be enough though? I know WILL is the strongest when fueled by negative emotion but negative emotions never had the staying power of the positive ones.
` If my chances are good and I am able to overpower it when my emotions peek it will only go downhill from that point on. `
` Hmm is there a way for me to stay longer in peak form? ` Probably possible but it would take more essence to maintain it and there is only so much essence one can have unless one can get some more.
` Even if there was that THING would probably stop me. ` Taking a glance at the house sized golden ball while thinking it came to me. ` What if i can rip out chunks of IT and fuel my problem with it? `
While a plan was formed it would still depend on my chances of overpowering in the first place to start the process.
Now all it took was to make the choice. ` Let's think about the overall situation once more to see the bigger picture. I died, got hit by a car, tried to get back to life but failed. Came here and had a nice chat with a parasite born of my predecessor ME somehow, and learned that even if my life was simulated all my miseries were engineered by IT.
` Ooo, I can already feel the rage warming up, wait shutdown otherwise it will be noticed and my chances will get even lowered. `
` But IT has already seen it once, and noticed it could be a threat to it. So, so, that means that if I don't take this chance now there won't be another as it would change my timeline in this cycle so my emotion would never manifest here. Fuck this means every option is exhausted and the only way is forward. `
Let's think one more time. ` Every choice I had to make in my life whether it was engineered by someone else or not does not change my purpose is to defeat this ultimate END BOSS that it represents like in every story that was ever written, that i have read before. `
` Wait, story? Could it be? Ah now is not the time to think about that. I will store it to ponder on it if I survive. `
Finding my courage to face this impossible situation I face my ultimate END BOSS and deliver my choice. “ I have made my CHOICE. I chose the second choice. I am willing to initiate the assimilation willingly. ”
Immediately I could tell IT was surprised as IT probably never thought it would ever happen. IT took a few moments to realise I was not fooling it probably.
“ How is this gonna happen now? ” I ask. All I had was a plan in my head on what will happen after the initiation, not how it's actually done.
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~ It is simple. For the process to start both our external defenses have to be set aside and a direct channel must be established between are cores. ~
Well I don't need IT to tell me that my core is my heart but as I looked at IT and myself and immediately know what will happen next.
~ As our essence forms are of different proportions you will have to come inside me to initiate the process ~ Ha, I knew it.
Resigning to my fate, I approached IT. IT really was so much bigger than me. Once there I touched its exterior to feel it for a bit. At the moment of the touch I knew the only way for me to come inside would be to actually be allowed in otherwise our essence would have to battle it out and the winner would have to force its way in.
I knew this was my last chance to consider it but remembered that I had no other choice.
` Who knows how many cycles it would take for a chance like this. NO, there is no going back on this choice. Either I do it or die trying. `
Stealing my resolve again I push my hand inside and slowly enter it. Once inside, I didn't need to see to know where to go as I could feel ITs core. It was emitting such a powerful essence and at the same time it was a bit familiar.
` Must be because it was born out of The Originals essence. This just confirmed to me that while I may be designated as the Continued Existence by this place I am a different person from him and that is good because it meant I am an original me, and without my permission I WILL NEVER allow this PARASITE to be even closely related to me at all. `
Once again my resolve heightened I approach the core and place a hand upon it. Just touching it it felt as if I would be overpowered any sec now.
~ Make a channel to mine so we can begin.~
And I did. Thinking of my core, my heart unlike before when i tried to influence it this time followed my commands easily. I imagined my essence making the two vessels connected to the main blood vessels. From there they would establish a connection from the heart to the palms of my hands and soon they were slowly built millimeter by millimeter. Once they reached the center of my palms I placed my right hand on ITs core to engage in contact.
Immediately I felt its overwhelming WILL. It was watching me, studying me. Despite its overwhelming presence IT didn't immediately try to overrun me. ` It probably thinks I would close the connection in panic if it tried. IT definitely did not want to miss this chance as it probably would never come again. `
After some moments of studying me IT started to push my WILL back and through the channel I built in my right hand and slowly started to pour its own in.
This was only the prelude. I knew it was at the moment ITs WILL touched mine in my core that the true battle would start as then I will have no retreat option and it is also at that moment that I would unleash my rage.
As it crawled to my core I started to prepare my emotions. I could feel its attention as I did. IT probably expected me to as only then would i have a chance against it.
As it crawled slowly I thought about the past, about every moment of my life it could have influenced to make me miserable and it is only with my current clarity of thought that I notice them. From my parental fights which led to divorce to my downhill response at early isolation and gaming addiction which later turned to story reading. To anything in general that could keep my attention so I would not think of the past.
` And lets not forget the eternal virginity card it had played on my life `
But just memories would not do, NO what I needed was the powerful chemical cocktail associated with emotions and for that i need the processing power of my physical brain.
I looked inwardly at my incomplete heart and through the little crack that appeared at my earlier outburst.
Through the little crack I saw my physical body and felt the other half of my core stuck in the body and the simulation due to which it was not stopped but kept going even if only until this moment when it would be shocked.
And I watched it happen. The electrodes stuck on my chest and the doctor called - CLEAR - The electricity went through the skin and into the heart. At that moment I took control of my second half of the core and had it influence the physical heart to beat and it did.
The heart started to beat and the chest inflated by taking in air. To accelerate the process I had the other half of the core influence the blood vessels going to the lungs and the brain to widen and the others to thin as I did not need them. All I needed was the heart, lungs and the brain. With the increased oxygen flow into the brain finally I had it working. It didn't matter if it got damaged due to the excess of blood. I just needed it for a few moments.
In the moment the blood started to flow I moved that part of the core to the brain and had it influence the memory parts of the brain. Through the cores I sent all my current revelations attached with the memories and left it for the brain to process them and two final tasks to my other core.
It would influence the brain and let it ignore everything else but memories and the part related to emotions to speed up the process. With that, the brain went into an overdrive initiating process tied to emotions and as the chemical cocktail appeared it started to influence my incomplete core stuck in the brain.
I initiated my memory recollection through it. With every recollection the emotions started to build, bit by bit but the main one I needed was rage and my incomplete core in the brain sent that influence back to me on this side.
` With that I have made my own personal revenge making engine and I shall call it The Rage Engine. `
With the rage engine turned on I turned my awareness back here. ITs influence left the halfway point to my core.
Unlike last time I was prepared for this and took control of the RAGE from the start. I would not waste essence on a wasteful transformation. No, all its power will be gathered at the center of my core and channeled through the channels I have built.
When my rage was close to its peak the moment came. It made contact with my core and there was no going back. Feeling its overwhelming presence so close was overwhelming and so was my RAGE to IT in response. As my RAGE and ITs WILL slammed into each other there was no battle. I overwhelmed it really hard and forced it to retreat.
Experiencing what pure RAGE felt, IT was overwhelmed and so I pushed IT away from my core back into the channels and back through them too. It was only when my rage reached my palm and came into direct contact with its core that it stopped me and it was there that we battled with our WILLS.
I knew that every moment this went longer the sooner my end would come as I knew that while my RAGE was powerful it would run out of fuel and so I gathered everything from my humanoid essence form but my hands leaving but a few shell layers in its appearance to act as shields just in case.
When my RAGE peaked I initiated the final push into ITs core. Either IT would give or I would.
And so I pushed and pushed and pushed, but IT would not give no matter how hard I pushed at all but one moment for an unknown reason its attention shifted from me for but a second and a second was all I needed.
I broke its external defense of the core and pushed my influence inside. At the same time I moved my left hand and placed it beside the right one and through the blood vessel in its hand I created a suction effect. It started to suck in the essence I overwhelmed and used it as fuel to maintain my true RAGE ENGINE.
Once ITs attention turned back to me, it started to fight back hard but it was too late.
I would not give up on this momentum.
Before everything clicked into place and being clouded by my rage quite a bit I sent one thought to IT “ You dared to sentence me to ETERNAL VIRGINITY !!! For that you shall burn to NONEXISTENCE. ”
Then there was no longer a ME only pure RAGE,
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What Is It Like To Be Eternal? (Completed)
Actual Word Count: 683 925 Words and 2487 pages. Under edition. Chapter 36-44 must be edited. Read the red text below to learn more. Synopsis: Have you ever thought about what is it like to be Eternal? What does being Eternal even mean? Maybe I can show you what it is that you are desiring. What lies at the center of the universe, when you reach the peak of strength and power? Can love reach that place too, or do you lose your feelings the stronger you get? How long can you travel and hold onto yourself, before feeling that you are starting to fall apart, losing your mind to your strength? How long is your road? Your feelings? What's going to win over you? The Darkness and the Hate? The Love and the Light? Or maybe none? Follow me as I show you my colorful yet gray path to eternity. My Discord server: https://discord.gg/XMSzDPH Special thanks to my editors. Azorath1234 (70-99th chapter), BlackStarLine and Kaentyr from the 100th chapter. Cornerstones:9th Chapter - Bonding Through the Night38th Chapter - The Way of Cultivation is a Way of Life54th Chapter - The Universe Is Ever Changing and Evolving69th Chapter - Beyond the bond [Inheritance]83rd Chapter - What I call Art!88th Chapter - What Does It Take To Kill?93rd Chapter - Chasing Rainbows [Loop?]108th Chapter - The Fall of a Creator?109th Chapter - A Family [Descendant]119th Chapter - What Is It Like To Be Eternal? Detailed reviews:http://royalroadl.com/fiction/10058/what-is-it-like-to-be-eternal-completed?review=132372#review-132372http://royalroadl.com/fiction/10058/what-is-it-like-to-be-eternal-completed?review=153956#review-153956 Both the Novel and the Cover picture are copyrighted. The Picture is a result of my commission. Cover Art: Novel: P.S.: I'm also hosting my novel here and on Novel Updates Forum. Nowhere else for now! EDIT: The novel is in rework. The original and the new ones are completely different. Where you see [Edited] it means that I'm done with editing the STORY! Whereas where you don't see it, it's in the old style. For now, I'm editing only the style. Once I'm done with every chapter, I'll run through it once again and correct possible grammatical mistakes. The style will be edited until the 45th chapter.
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I committed suicide after my wife was murdered and raped by some lunatics. I was in hell when I got a book that is able to summon some fucking powerful demons. It was a gift from Satan himself. Nice guy, foul breath. Satan, Santa what difference does it make now? It is a good gift! They will pay... all of them will perish by my own hands because I'm alive again! Pretty messed up shit, right? I would like to see this rotten city burn and I will, but that’s enough talk for now. My mood is really bad. I got an army from hell at my disposal and I have some bastards to torture, and then murder... What the fuck is he doing!? "Hey, Alastor! Wait for me, you son of a bitch!" New cover by Yuri Padial- commissioned before I decided to draw again. Paid for it, so Iwill fucking use it! Hiatus - New chapters will take longer than I expected. If you still with me thanks for the support, and if you are gone... I don't give a fucking crap! Have a nice day!
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