A two foot tall...uh...fairy? Appears by the front door, checking a clipboard idly. She’s obnoxiously pink, with a face made up of a screen of some kind depicting a simplistic face. There are black wings beating slowly to keep her afloat, and she has long grey ears fitted with a headset.

THE FEY: Attention all Hope’s Peak Academy graduates in Our Mansion of Plenty. Ahem. Please gather in the entryway for a very special announcement relating to your fate and future. This is not a test. Arrive as quickly as you can.

Alena, Lani and I watch her appear and speak into her headset, mouths ajar. She looks mechanical, but her movements are so advanced. This can’t be real...can it? Maybe Roxxy was right about this being some crazy gimmick or game…

The others come in slowly, some I recognize and others I don’t. A few people look scared, most look confused. Roxxy is an outlier, looking smug as if this proves that HPA was playing a prank on us.

MIKI: Okay, we’re here. I don’t give a single rat shit about this hide and seek memory game, or kidnapping, or whatever the fuck is going on here. You’d better let us out, now.

FUMI: That’s not funny. You shouldn’t talk like that when we don’t know what’s going on.

ISEI: Kid, shut the hell up. Don’t antagonize it.

BO: Is nobody else seeing this robot? This is so cool!

AIKA: I’m usually up for mind games, no matter the consequences, but this strikes me as...hmm...tacky.

PV: Is anyone gonna shut up and let the robot do its talking? Maybe an explanation is at hand, no?

Everyone’s scrambling to get their voice heard, but the robot is just...hovering there. Her wings are flapping enough to keep her airborne, but...this is uncanny. I’m tempted to pinch myself to make sure I’m really awake, but I’m not about to lean into cliches like that just yet.

THE FEY: Are you done yet?

MIKI: Ex-fucking-scuse me?

THE FEY: Are. You. Done?

MIKI : Oh brother, you haven’t heard the first of it yet! Let us out of here or I’ll strangle you!

KATHERINE: [Almost smiling.] You don’t look strong enough to strangle anybody, much less someone made of steel.

MIKI: Let me have my angry metaphors, please.

ISEI: Kid! Seriously! Shut the hell up or you’re gonna get stabbed by a fuckin’ robot and nobody here is gonna stop it.

PV: Everybody! Shut up and let it talk so we can get out of here!

A moment of tense silence, but the pink headed kid looks like they’re about ready to pop. They open their mouth to say something, but The Fey interrupts.

THE FEY: I am your Host--or rather, a representative of your Host--and I am SO glad you all finally came out here! It was such a hassle getting you all in the same location, at the same time, with the same slightly invasive surgeries to ensure everything goes according to plan!

Everyone, myself included, looks horrified.

THE FEY: Just kidding! Probably. You’ll see. Anyway, you’ll find that you’re all here for a reason! No twist of fate or chance has placed any of you here today; I know everything about you and I know exactly what you deserve.

ALENA: What we deserve…?

THE FEY: You will live here. In Our Mansion of Plenty. Until you die.

KYO: Unless a ransom is paid, I’m guessing.

THE FEY: A ransom? Don’t be ridiculous. I told you it’s about what you deserve you silly brats! You’re going to be here. Until you die.

KATA: You genuinely expect us to believe you can keep 17 of the most high profile young adults in the nation in some hokey mansion for the next 70 years?

THE FEY: Oh, you expect to live quite a long time, don’t you? A bit unrealistic, doncha think?

HEIJI: Hey man, I can’t speak for everyone else here but I live a pretty healthy lifestyle. I’m living to 117 if I keep goin’ the way I’m goin’.

THE FEY: Not if you’re murdered.

NORIKO: This really isn’t funny.

MASANORI: No fucking kidding this isn’t funny. This is a threat. The gremlin’s gonna kill us. I guess. Fantastic.

THE FEY: I’m not going to kill you. You are.

MASANORI: Oh, suicide baiting? Cute. Really.

KATA: You’re missing the point. You’ve got us trapped for now, sure, but we’re important people. A group this big doesn’t go missing without alerting people, and any one of us is going to be cause for search.

THE FEY: No, you’re missing the point, kiddo!

The Fey looks vicious now, maybe angry that people aren’t listening like it thinks they should be.

THE FEY: You’re not going to get rescued, or found, or escaped. You’re going to die in here, and you’re going to die young. You’re going to die! Die! Die! Because you are going to kill each other!

A pause, during which nobody clamors for attention for the first time since The Fey appeared. Alena looks like she’s on the verge of tears, and I unconsciously step in front of her to stand between her and the malicious robot.

AIKA: Interesting approach, but ultimately?

She pauses, taking a long drag on her cigarette, and dusts the ashes onto the otherwise spotlessly clean floor.

AIKA: We have no reason to do what you say, or believe that you have any power over us.

THE FEY: You can believe whatever you want, super-brat, it doesn’t change reality.

ROXXY: Yeah, duh, and the reality is that this is a total psychological prank done by the school! It’s probably some morality test--

AIKA: Such as the Stanford Prison Experiment.

ROXXY: Uh, yeah...that, sure. But I sure as hell didn’t sign a consent waiver, so this is completely bogus. My mom’s got lawyers, and I’ll be talking to her to talk to them! In the meantime…

Roxxy steps toward The Fey and picks her up, turning her over curiously and tossing her from hand to hand.

THE FEY: Hey! Put me down or you’ll regret it!

ROXXY: Wow, she’s weirdly light for being made of metal. Maybe she’s plastic?

THE FEY: I’m warning you! Violence against your Host is strictly forbidden!

ROXXY: I wonder if there’s a back panel I can open or something...Anybody got a screwdriver?

She fiddles with The Fey for a moment, who goes limp.

MASANORI: She stopped moving, you probably broke her.

THE FEY: Beep...beep...beep…

KYO: I don’t like the sound of that…

THE FEY: Initiating a test of our emergency anti-meddling measures...5...4...

ISEI: That sounds really bad. Drop it!

THE FEY: 3...2...

ROXXY: What? Why?

ISEI: Just do it, for the love of god!

Roxxy drop kicks The Fey into the air, where she becomes tangled in the chandelier. There’s a resounding BOOM as the robot erupts into a blazing inferno, bits of Fey flying out as the chandelier itself crashes to the ground.

A girl in pink shrieks as it falls on top of her, collapsing into the floor under the weight of it. There are more screams that follow; of fear, or of shock, or simply of confusion. Some people, myself included, step forward to try to help, but stall, not knowing what to do. Others, like Alena, shrink back in terror from the crash and boom.

The only person who reacts sensibly is Roxxy, who slides toward the injured girl on her knees and pulls the wreckage off of her. A boy rushes in shortly after, holding the girl’s face and making sure she’s okay.

There are murmurs of shock and dismay, but they die down as the girl gets to her feet, leaning slightly on both Roxxy and the boy.

Someone coughs due to the smoke and dust in the air, and all conversation stills as we look around at each other and the blackened husk of The Fey’s chassis.

LANI: You killed it!

ALENA: Does...this mean we’re free?

//The Fey re-enters out of nowhere, casually checking her clipboard.

THE FEY: Guess again, assholes!

BO: Hey! You! What’s with all the exploding? I’m starting not to like you very much!

THE FEY: You don’t have to like me. You have to live with me. And you have to obey me. Follow the rules or expect bodily harm! Next time it won’t be a simple explosion, buckos.

KYO: Is no one acknowledging that there’s...more than one of these things?

ROXXY: I’m about to acknowledge it with my foot!

She lifts her leg like she’s about to roundhouse kick The Fey into another dimension.

HEIJI: Dude, stop! She’ll just blow up again or do something worse! Manhandling her before got Fumi hurt, I don’t really want to see what’ll happen if you keep messin’ around.

Roxxy pauses, still poised to kick, but sighs and puts her foot down.

THE FEY: Haha, next time it might be a knife to your throat, Glitter-tits. Or! Oh! Maybe a gun!!

KATA: How are we expected to follow rules we don’t know about? I don’t expect a fancy drone to really be logical with me, but if you’re threatening us, at least give us some parameters.

THE FEY: Check your pockets, scum.

Kata pats himself down and finds a phone-sized tablet in his pocket. Several other students, including myself, do the same.

Guests are not permitted to leave Our Mansion of Plenty. The period between 11PM and 7 AM is designated Night Time. Certain areas are off limits during this time. Guests may only sleep in the guest bedrooms provided. Deliberately falling asleep in other rooms will be punished. You may explore Our Mansion of Plenty to your heart’s content. No limits are placed on your actions or movements within the mansion. Violence enacted upon your Host, The Fey, is forbidden. Intentional destruction of your Host’s property is forbidden. A guest may take their leave of Our Mansion of Plenty if they kill one of their fellow guests. In order to take their leave, they must not be found out by their peers. Additional rules may be added at any time by The Fey.

ALENA: Her name’s The Fey…? What’s that mean?

BO: Like a fairy maybe?

AIKA: Perhaps she’s meant to be a Kindly One; a la the fates, the fair ones, the witches that watch over our lives.

NORIKO: Or our deaths, in this case. We’re meant to meet with a grisly fate in here, she can’t be all that kindly.

KYO: I’m not sure now is really an appropriate time to be discussing potential theological inspirations. You do you though.

THE FEY: Everybody shut up! You brats really don’t know when to can it, do you? I’m trying to be a gracious Host here and…Please. Explore the mansion, get along as well as you’d like, live here forever.

MASANORI: And the alternative is death?

YUI: It appears, from the rule book, that the alternative is actually murder.

MASANORI: Wow, big fuckin’ difference. Thanks for sharing with the class.

Kyo steps forward, moving between the two of them.

KYO: The difference is...well, life and death, unless I’m wrong. If you hate the idea of getting along with us, your options are not ‘die or live,’ it’s rather…’kill or be killed.’

ISEI: A pretty alarming technicality, don’t you think?

SHUJI: Yeah, except none of us are gonna do that.

Everyone looks at me. There are a variety of expressions across the room. The girl who nearly got crushed by the chandelier is still leaning on Roxxy and her friend, looking dazed but concerned. Alena is behind me, but looking on with wide eyes. Others are neutral, some are scared. The girl in armor looks furious.

AIKA: Can you be so sure? People do incredible things under incredible circumstances.

KATHERINE: I’d say this qualifies as ‘incredible.’

MIKI: Yeah, incredibly stupid. I’m with sweater-kid. Nobody’s dumb enough to kill anybody here.

ROXXY: Check those cameras, even if you killed in here and got away with it according to the rules, they’ve gotta be broadcasting this, right?

KATA: If they were broadcasting, they’d run the risk of people finding out where we are. It’s not hard to trace broadcasts.

YUI: Fey, will you answer questions?

THE FEY: No.

FUMI: Didn’t you technically just answer one?

THE FEY: Shit!

YUI: Are you broadcasting the footage you take here?

THE FEY: I’m not going to tell you that!

SHUJI: Be fair, you answered one question, you might as well answer another.

THE FEY: That’s not how this game works! You know the rules now, you know why you’re here, now get to work!

It vanishes.

ALENA: To...work…?

We stare at each other for a moment. All of us. We all know a few things: we were trapped. The person or people who had trapped us were cruel, and we don’t know what they want with us. We were meant to die in here. It is not a reassuring thought.

SHUJI: So, what do we do now? I’m assuming that none of us are planning on killing each other, so we’ve gotta figure something out.

AIKA: You said that before. I reiterate: You shouldn’t be so sure, people--

SHUJI: Are you planning on killing someone?

AIKA: What?

SHUJI: Are you planning on killing someone, right now? Do you have a target and a way to go about it in your head?

AIKA : [Offended] Of course not!

SHUJI: Anybody else? Anybody else thinking of killing somebody here? Let’s see a show of hands for who is currently contemplating a murder.

Nobody raises their hands. Isei looks amused.

SHUJI: Okay, that’s what I thought. No killers here. So, I’ll reiterate as well: What are we going to do?

LANI: Maybe there’s a way to get out of here! We could look around?

ISEI: We should start with what we know, what we have access to.

SHUJI: Okay, cool. What do we know, and what do we have access to?

[Isei is thoughtful]

KYO: We have each other, to start with. I still haven’t met most of you.

YUI: And, naturally, we have our environment. It says in the rules that we may explore, I’d recommend doing so.

ROXXY: That robot wasn’t very consistent in attitude, I’d say there’s a chance she slipped up somewhere, so maybe there’s an open window or something.

NORIKO: Let’s begin with a round of introductions, we can go from there to exploring. I also suggest we adopt a buddy system--perhaps one of trios. Just to be safe.

KYO: I’ll start! My name is Kyo Katayama, the only child of Kojiro and Kyoko Katayama. I’m a Charity Organizer.

YUI: Too humble. You’re THE Charity Organizer.

KYO: If any of you live in Tokyo, you may have heard of my Charity Galas…

They begin, but there are 17 people in this room. Everyone clamors over each other, going in no particular order, saying their names and their talents, bickering, establishing things about each other and themselves.

Maybe it’s the fact that I was just told I’d have to kill one of my peers to escape. Hell, maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been kidnapped. Maybe it’s just that I’m emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. Whatever the exact reason, I lose track of the conversation almost instantly.

I try to focus on each person, on each face, but their names and skills are elusive. We establish that we’re definitely all from the same class, but other than that…

These could be strangers for all I know.

KYO: Alright, now everyone’s been introduced. Shall we explore?

Ruh-roh. Was I so lost in thought I forgot to introduce myself?

YUI: Once again, I recommend splitting into groups of three. Just to be safe.

Oh no, everyone’s accepting it. If I try to butt in and introduce myself now I’ll look like an idiot. I guess I should just pay attention and try to go from here. Focus, Shuji!!

LANI: We already established we’re not gonna kill anyone, so is that really necessary?

Yui looks at Lani for a moment, sizing him up.

YUI: People lie.

LANI: Well sure they’re gonna lie if you don’t give them any trust!

YUI: ...Regardless. Kyo, will you allow me to accompany you and one other person to see what this so called mansion of plenty has to offer?

KYO: Of course. Soga-san, will you come with us?

He pauses before thoughtfully nodding and silently following them out of the room.

HEIJI: Fumi and I are going together, I wanna check out the windows, like Rose-san said. The super obvious openings like a window left open is always the stuff people miss in movies. Let’s see if something was left unlocked, yeah?

ROXXY: I’ll come with. It’s my fault something fell on Fumi-chan, and I wanna make up for it.

FUMI: I appreciate it.

//They leave.

NORIKO: I’ll go with Nishimuraya-san.

MASANORI: The fuck you are, I’m going alone.

NORIKO: If nobody else should desire to go along with us, I understand. Should anything befall either of us, there will either be a victim or we’ll know who to blame. I apologize for breaking the rule of trios.

Masanori storms off, but Noriko calmly follows him.

There’s a pause as we all look at each other, sizing one another up. With 8 people now gone, the room feels a little more spacious...And here comes the pressure of being chosen last for dodgeball teams. Yikes.

SHUJI: Alena-san, Lani-san...would you be willing to explore with me?

LANI: Sure thing! I’ve already looked around a bit…

SHUJI: That’ll help; I haven’t looked around at all.

ALENA: You were the last to wake up, so it makes sense…

LANI: Come on, I’ll show you around!

We take off, going to a hallway to the right of the stairs. There’s a little golden plaque above the entryway.

HOTEL OF PLENTY

The filigree is quite nice, but I’m not sure about the subject matter.

ALENA: Hotel of...Plenty? I don’t like this.

LANI: Oh that? Yeah I actually...didn’t bother checking it out. Hotels are creepy.

SHUJI: I think they’re kinda fun. C’mon, it might not be that bad.

ALENA: Have you spent a lot of time in hotels, Saji-san?

Those wide eyes...She’s a nice girl but that’s definitely a creepy look.

SHUJI: Not a lot, but every now and then if you don’t have a place to stay it’s...well, it’s a bump up from sleeping on a bench, you know?

[Alena stares. Shuji looks uncomfortable.]

LANI: Maybe I’m weird, I love sleeping on hard surfaces. Give me the floor over a bed any day! Let’s check out this...hotel thing.

We step into the long hallway, which seems to just be an access way for a bunch of other rooms. On each door, from the looks of things, is a little nameplate and a cartoony image of each of us. The first door to my left has a little picture of Isei, I think, and the one next to it has the red-headed boy...ah, here’s his name: Kata Ama.

SHUJI: Are these...dorms?

ALENA: Seems so.

We walk until we see Alena’s name, which is conveniently close to mine and Lani’s.

LANI: Neat! We each get our own rooms! How do we get in?

ALENA: Hm.

Alena fishes in her pockets (those things are like, huge) and pulls out a key.

ALENA: [Frown.] I don’t remember having this. Name’s on it...

Lani and I also reach into our pockets and find similar keys.

I’m not happy about that. They kidnapped me, want me to murder, and stuck shit in my pockets? That’s crossing a line.

Still, I take a good look at it. It’s not a keycard, like in real hotels, but a physical metal key like to a house. I’ll have to keep track of this carefully, if I don’t want to get locked out of my own room. I don’t have a keychain or anything, so I guess it just has to live in my pockets.

I look at the others, who are frowning at their keys as well. Let’s see if I can keep this train moving.

SHUJI: Well, we might as well try!

I open my door, revealing a lush bedroom.

First of all, it’s a lot larger than I would have expected. This is the type of room you could just spend your whole life in without feeling cooped up. The space between the furniture is enough to dance in, and that’s not even taking into account how nice the furniture is.

There’s a large desk made of...uh...I don’t know woods. But it looks nice. And it’s definitely made of wood. The bed could fit a whole family if they were feeling snug, with 4 posts like the bed from my formative princess themed dreams.

My mouth simply hangs open as I try to take it in.

LANI: GUYS! This is dope!

Lani bounces off into his own room, slamming the door, and I follow suit, entering my own.

In addition to the desk and bed is a large wooden dresser. I pull open the drawers to reveal lots and lots of clothes; all pretty similar to stuff I would already be wearing given the opportunity. The closet is also full of clothes, but I can’t spend all day looking at my options.

Crossing the deep, plush, Persian-style rug, I enter the master bathroom too. A tub, a shower, a mirror, and then more skin care items than I know what to do with.

I’m beyond overwhelmed. I need to talk to the others and recenter before I lose myself in the opulance.

SHUJI: Wow, I haven’t had a room this nice in my entire life. Check out the bathroom! With a shower and everything! Do you guys have the same set up?

...

SHUJI: What are yours like?

...

Well, I don’t like that at all. I leave my room and knock on Alena’s door, which she opens immediately.

SHUJI: Couldn’t you hear me?

ALENA: Hear you? ... No. Were you...talking?

SHUJI: Yeah, I called out while I was in my room. We’re right next to each other so I thought…

ALENA: I don’t like that.

SHUJI: That I called for you?

ALENA: The rooms must be sound proof...that’s…

That makes these rooms ideal for murders. Yikes.

LANI: Whoa I disappear for one second and the mood goes down the drain? C’mon guys, let’s keep going!

As we turn to leave the hallway, more people enter.

FUMI: Stop fussing!

ROXXY: But I feel so bad! I like, tossed that literal exploding gremlin right into your face!

FUMI: Honestly, I’m okay. I promise. Pinky promise? What will it take, here, to make you feel better?

HEIJI: You should listen to her. If she’s actually hurt she’ll cry, and cry, and cry…

FUMI: Heiji are you sure you’re not thinking of Hisato? Or yourself? Hmm?

HEIJI: That’s a fair point. I do get us mixed up sometimes.

ROXXY: Just...let me fuss. That’ll make me feel loads better. Okie dokes?

FUMI: [Sighs, smiling.] Okie dokies.

HEIJI: It’s okie dokes!

FUMI: Okie...dokies? Am I saying it?

HEIJI: Dude, it’s dokes! Like oaks?

ROXXY: I like that better actually! It’s so cute!

FUMI: [Muttering.] Okie...dokies…?

I decide to approach them, beckoning Lani and Alena to follow me. After all, I don’t even know most of their names and I’m certain they don’t know mine. I gotta learn this stuff somehow.

SHUJI: Hey! Roxxy-chan, how is the window-prying thing going?

ROXXY: Oh! Shuji-chan! And ooohh let me see if I can remember...Lani-chan?

LANI: You got it!

ROXXY: And...oh, I don’t think I heard you say your name!

ALENA: …

ROXXY: [Expectant.] …?

ALENA: . . .

ROXXY: (Did she say it? Am I going deaf?)

FUMI: (I didn’t hear anything either…)

LANI: Hey...Alena-san...did you hear?

ALENA: ...yes…

SHUJI: Um! This is Alena Agyros! She’s the Urban Gardener!

FUMI: Oh!! My mom bought your book!

HEIJI: Don’t we sell that at the shop? Like it’s not surfing related but Mom dug it so much that she made it available.

ALENA: That’s good.

ROXXY: Oh! Hey! A whole sentence! High five!

Roxxy leans in for a high five, but Alena leaves her hanging, just staring blankly at the extended hand.

SHUJI: I don’t think I caught your names, I’m sorry. I know Roxxy-chan, but you two are…?

HEIJI: Hey no worries man, I totally zoned out during the intros earlier too. I’m Heiji Kaimi! What is it in English? Cowabunga, am I right?

FUMI: You have to tell him what you do, too.

HEIJI: Oh! Haha, duh. I’m the Super High School Level Surfer! Guess I’m the graduate level surfer now, though…

Heiji Kaimi is one of the boons of channel surfing, no pun intended. Surfing competitions are televised, and he’s really well known for being one of the most camera friendly surfers out there right now. He’s famous for being charming, attracting a huge female following for his good looks and goofy demeanor, and absolutely demolishing competitions.

SHUJI: Wow, I’ve heard of you! You’re really good!

HEIJI: Hell yeah! Nice!

FUMI: Oh! I’m…

LANI: I’m a huge fan actually!! Surfing is huge in Hawaii too, I mean, like, duh! But you really do awesome stuff!

HEIJI: Thanks li’l buddy! Oh, and this is my sister, Fumi.

FUMI: I can introduce myself, actually.

HEIJI: Yeah! Do it! Power through!

FUMI: [Laughing.] I’m Fumi Kaimi. We’re twins.

HEIJI: I’m sure you can see the resemblance.

Not...really. I guess I can see some family resemblance in their facial features, but they’re wildly different looking people. Heiji is tall, tan and muscular. Fumi is short, pale, and fat. They both have blonde hair--though his is much lighter and hers is much darker--and pink eyes, but they’re definitely not identical.

FUMI: I was accepted under the title Letter Writer. It’s like Ghostwriter, in a way, but--

LANI: Ghosts?! Writing?!

ROXXY: Isn’t it amazing?! Fumi-chan is extremely cool. Listening about her writing has been the only like, good part about this whole stupid gag.

I’m going to be honest. I have no idea what that is. I nod along and smile, anyway.

FUMI: So um. Basically! I write good. I think. In letters.

ALENA: Wow.

SHUJI: Yeah, wow!

FUMI: Yeah...wow…

HEIJI: Don’t be embarrassed! You do write good! In letters and everything!

FUMI: I’m a bit better at writing than wording. Talking. Oh my god. It keeps happening.

SHUJI: Hey, don’t worry. We’re all pretty stressed out here. I bet you’ll get loads of opportunities to tell me more about your talent when we’re freaking out less.

LANI: Right! Once we escape, for example!

HEIJI: I like the positivity little bro!

ALENA: ...Will we?

I turn to her, though she was so quiet the others might not have noticed, and we make eye contact. Her eyes just bore directly into my skull, but I deal with it for the time being.

SHUJI: Yes. We’ll escape.

ALENA: Oh…

ROXXY: Huh? Why do you doubt it? We’ve got like one million of the smartest teens in the entire world here so we can do anything if we put our minds to it!

ALENA: Right. Yes. I’m sorry for interrupting.

FUMI: It’s not interrupting! It’s a conversation. What are you worried about?

Alena laughs awkwardly. The laugh borders on choking, though, so I’m not sure how much I should read into that.

ALENA: I’m worried about everything.

LANI: Ouch! Okay. Let’s narrow it down! A mountain is just made of rocks and we can tackle any rock!

ALENA: Okay...I’ll narrow it down. I’m worried about you.

LANI: Me?

ALENA: All of you. And me. Don’t you think we’re going to die?

SHUJI: We’re absolutely not!

ALENA: Everyone’s acting normal, as if we weren’t told to kill...you really don’t think anybody would kill? Anybody?

She looks up at me again with those wide, imploring eyes. That face alone is enough to make you doubt. I shake my head firmly, though, unwilling to be swayed.

SHUJI: I know I wouldn’t kill anybody. I’m willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

LANI: I’m with Shuji-kun!

ROXXY: Same! I’ve like, done death defying stuff for fun before. I think I can defy a little bit of forced death too, you know?

FUMI: Forced death? Is that what they call murder these days?

ROXXY : What I’m saying is! I’ll protect anybody, you know? If anyone gets bad ideas.

HEIJI: I’m with you on that. I can’t imagine anybody would wanna kill me or anything, so I’ll just help out!

SHUJI: See, Alena-san? Everyone’s on board. It’ll be okay.

ALENA: ...hm…

ROXXY: Look, let’s keep looking around, okay? Once Heiji and I figure out how to pry that steel off those windows, we’re gonzo! And then we call the cops on that fairy thing, and go home! Easy peasy!

SHUJI: Good luck, guys! We should keep exploring too.

FUMI: Are these dorms?

LANI: You guys check those out, we’ll head out!

They separate, exploring their own rooms, but I stop at a nameplate right before the exit to the main foyer.

SHUJI: Well this doesn’t look like anybody.

Instead of a name and a picture, it’s just an image of a mop, accompanied by a second image of a little bisected circle. A Pokeball? I’m not sure what it’s meant to be.

LANI: Ummm maybe it’s The Fey’s room!

ALENA: Doesn’t look like The Fey.

I try the doorknob, and it opens.

SHUJI: It isn’t locked. Let’s find out!

Oh my God. This room is chaos given a name.

It’s just as large as the bedroom I explored earlier, but with shelves and racks of just...stuff. Statuary, bolts of fabric, pieces of paper, string lights, bits of pottery, etc. It’s a mishmash of stuff, all cluttered to the back, while the entrance of the room is commanded by a formidable gacha machine.

MASANORI: Oh fuck, it’s the Goody Two Shoes Brigade. There’s no fire to put out so leave me the fuck alone.

NORIKO: Nishimuraya-san.

MASANORI : And you can fuck off too! Hey, maybe you three can fucking help me. I think this scary lady is trying to murder me!

Oh, this guy.

I didn’t catch his name earlier, but I did see him constantly berating everyone else. It made it harder to pay attention to everyone’s name and titles, so I’m not super fond of him already. I size him up for the first time, now, trying to figure out how to respond. He doesn’t make it easy. His lizard-like hoodie is pulled tight around his face, only revealing limp greasy hair and his eyes. The rest of his face is covered by a cutesy medical mask with an animal mouth printed on it.

He’s glaring at me.

SHUJI: Uh.

Smooth.

LANI: Hey! Are you really trying to kill him?

NORIKO: Actually, the opposite, I’m afraid. His habit of being a total asshole is going to get a target painted on his back, so I’m here to intervene in case anybody should try to take a shot at him.

MASANORI: Reeaaal convincing. Help! She’s going to crush me with her meaty man hands!

ALENA: …!

I wouldn’t have been concerned, but the lizard hoodie kid lunges forward, startling Alena. I step between the two of them on instinct, and he continues to glare at me.

I look to his...keeper, I guess you could call her, hoping she can intervene. She takes a step forward and yanks on the boy’s arm, pulling him back into her realm of influence. This is the first time I’ve given her a good look, since the boy has been taking up so much of my attention. She’s tall, wearing--

SHUJI: Is that armor?

NORIKO: Yes. Are you feeling quite alright? I made my introductions and explanations earlier. I believe you were present, although...Aw, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name.

ALENA: You’re not really going to hurt him, are you?

LANI: I’m sorta okay with him getting hurt. No offense.

NORIKO: [Smiling.] I’ll only hurt him if he decides it’s necessary.

MASANORI: Listen you stupid slut--ACK

Before he can finish his insult, Noriko slaps him. Hard. With a gauntlet. Alena squeaks in shock, and I take a step forward, but he doesn’t seem horribly injured. Just a little redder than before, and glaring.

SHUJI: Okay, maybe take it easy on hitting him. He’s rude, but like...given the circumstances...I don’t know.

NORIKO: I understand. I will...resist.

MASANORI: You fucking brute. What gives you the right to decide if I deserve getting whacked around like a goddamn tennis ball?!

NORIKO : Perhaps this is a good time for introductions, or to reiterate. My name’s Noriko Noro. I perform as a knight in a renaissance faire, in addition to having been appointed as a knight by my religion, earning me the title of Knight.

I’ve heard of her, a little bit. She’s the type of person you see Buzzfeed articles about because she’s the only person in Japan who both performs as and is also a real bonafide knight. Her religion is super niche, almost unheard of, but she represents it pretty well. Either way, she’s definitely earned her way into Hope’s Peak. Not only is she a real knight, but her presence at a ren faire doubles or triples attendance because her performance is so good. There’s been a surge in little girls wanting to be knights instead of princesses because of her alone.

NORIKO: And as a knight, I have duties. Those duties include determining injustice, and punishing it.

MASANORI: Calling you a cunt isn’t injustice.

LANI: Wow! But it’s super duper rude!

ALENA: ...sexism is worth punishing, right?

MASANORI: It’s not sexist! Not if it’s accurate.

NORIKO: Nishimuraya-san…

SHUJI: Hey! Don’t slap him!

NORIKO: I wasn’t going to. Thanks for the intervention Mr...Nuts, I still don’t know your name.

SHUJI: My name is Shuji Saji!

MASANORI: I think I’m going to pluck my own fucking eyes out because of boredom.

LANI: Why don’t you introduce yourself like a normal person?

MASANORI: Yeah, I wouldn’t expect someone like you to know me. Ugh. Well I’m definitely not whoever designed that shitshow…

LANI: Uhh…

NORIKO: He’s talking about your clothes.

MASANORI: I’m Masanori Nishimuraya, and I design clothes for the rich and famous. Who notoriously have bad taste. Hence, Super Highschool Level Fashion Designer. Yawn.

LANI: Oh! I’ve heard of you! Like for the Met Gala, right?

ALENA: You like...fashion?

MASANORI: Oh don’t be so fucking judgemental, you wall-eyed freak.

LANI: No, this guy’s a big deal. His designs are ridiculously expensive, and like, mega decadent. He’s also done a lot of work for movies!

Ohh, that’s where I’ve heard the name. I’ve definitely seen his work; he does everything from ball gowns to science fiction costumes. His work is really coveted for fashion-heavy celebrity parties, the Met Gala being the most notable. His designs are really out there, looking difficult to wear and totally impractical. I guess it’s no wonder I’ve never seen his face before. Most people assume he wants to stay out of the limelight...maybe for a reason…

MASANORI: Thanks for summarizing my shit for me, pipsqueak. I really wanted you to do that. Which is why I asked.

I’m also starting to understand why Noriko thinks he might get murdered.

SHUJI: Okay, that’s enough from you.

NORIKO: I’ve been considering ways to silence him…

SHUJI: Nuh-uh. Don’t do that. Stop considering.

NORIKO: [Smiling.] I vow not to hurt him anymore. Okay?

MASANORI: Oh, so you’ll listen to him but not to me?

LANI: Maybe it’s because Shuji-kun is uhhh...nice to her? Reasonable?

NORIKO: Yep.

MASANORI: Typical…

Alena reaches forward and tugs my sleeve to get my attention. When she has it, she blinks up at me slowly, imploringly.

ALENA: Can we leave?

SHUJI: Yeah, we should probably check out the rest of the house.

LANI: It was nice getting to talk to you one-on-one Noriko!

MASANORI: Oh, I get it. I’m not even here. I don’t even exist. Fuck, sometimes I wish that were true just so I wouldn’t have to deal with fucking morons like you.

NORIKO: Likewise! It was nice meeting all of you.

We exit the supply closet and almost immediately run into a small person with a mouse-ear headband. I mentally rub my hands together, prepping myself for another introduction.

MIKI: Hey! Kid!

LANI: Me?

MIKI: You’re smaller than me, come here.

SHUJI: I really don’t like the sound of that!

MIKI: We’re trying to fit people through a vent, and they couldn’t get me to cram in there. So it’s your turn. Be part of the escape plan or whatever.

LANI: Alright! I’ll see you guys later!

MIKI: Yeah, whatever, follow me.

The two depart, jogging to someplace with a vent.

SHUJI: Did you catch their name?

Alena shakes her head mutely, staring after them with those forlorn eyes.

SHUJI: I guess it’s up to us to explore, then. What do you think?

Alena turns, fixing her stare on me.

ALENA: It’s a good idea. Thanks for keeping me company.

SHUJI : Really? I thought you were keeping me company.

ALENA: [Shakes head.] I’d probably stay by the plants and not explore at all if it were up to me. I’m meeting people, which is scary, but also learning about where we are. Important.

SHUJI: I guess we should thank Lani-kun for getting us moving in the first place, right?

ALENA: Yeah…

She trails off, looking at the space Lani had occupied until a moment ago, and we’re left in silence again. I’m starting to get used to it, though, so I just shrug and continue on.

I think we’ve explored this hallway as much as we can right now, so we cross the foyer again and go into the other hall. Since nothing here is as conveniently labeled as the previous hallway, I hang a right and hope it’s something interesting.

What I find is a room outfitted with rows and rows of washing and drying machines. Along the back wall is entirely dryers, from a glance, while another row making up the center of the room is entirely washing machines.

Near the entrance of the room are a few propped up folding chairs and a magazine rack, in addition to the gigantic girl in all pink that I’d noticed earlier.

SHUJI: Hey!

KATHERINE: Hello.

She stares down at me; not something I’m extremely used to, given that I’m pretty tall on my own, and I stare back. Her face is perfectly expressionless, and it’s easy to forget about it as I take in the rest of her outfit. Everything on her is either shiny pink or fluffy faux fur--and still really pink. Even her hair is dyed pink.

ALENA: ...Tall!

KATHERINE: [Rolling eyes.] That’s been established.

Faced with an irritable giant with only a terrified plant girl to back me up, I do as any sane man would--

SHUJI: Wow, you even have high heels on!

--I put my entire foot in my mouth.

KATHERINE: You’re very observant.

Abort! Abort! I have to salvage this somehow!

SHUJI: Sorry, I was just taken aback a little bit. I’m sure you get those comments a lot.

KATHERINE: …

SHUJI: Right! Um. So what do you make of this room?

KATHERINE: It’s for laundry.

SHUJI: It sure is!

ALENA: It’s a laundromat, though. Not a normal house’s laundry room.

KATHERINE: Nothing about this house is normal.

SHUJI: Yeah, our rooms were pretty out of this world. I’ve never seen a bedroom like that.

KATHERINE: Not that.

ALENA: ...murder.

Katherine nods, looking at Alena with a completely disinterested glance.

SHUJI: Okay. Well. We’ve established none of us are going to kill each other--

KATHERINE: Yes, and I’m very tall.

SHUJI: Yep! Both are facts that we just know, so we shouldn’t let them daunt us too much.

KATHERINE: You genuinely believe that, don’t you?

Her head tilts incrementally as she looks at me now, her arms crossed. Her monotone lifts slightly with her new inquisitive tone, and it’s as dramatic a shift as Alena suddenly yelling would be. I’m sincerely startled.

SHUJI: Yeah. I do.

KATHERINE: Chump.

SHUJI: My name is Shuji Saji, I never got an opportunity to make an introduction while we were all going around!

KATHERINE: I wasn’t listening anyway.

SHUJI: Me neither! I mean, I was. But I forgot a lot of them. Can you remind me of your name?

KATHERINE: [Looking away.] Tch. I’m Katherine Ueda.

ALENA: Little Miss Snow?

KATHERINE: Snowie. Among others.

SHUJI: Like the kids’ movie? Was the character based on you?

KATHERINE: No. I played her.

SHUJI: Oh, wow! You look really different from when you were a kid!

KATHERINE: That happens.

If I’m remembering right, Katherine must be related to the actress Aiko Ueda. Katherine was in a bunch of movies as a kid, like the Little Miss Snowie movie that was very popular from overseas, because of the reputation of her parents. I’m not always completely up to date on celebrity gossip, but I think I remember hearing that Aiko Ueda split up with famous Mexican-American director Cain Kowl a few years ago, which might make him Katherine’s dad.

Still, I can’t think of a movie I’d have seen Katherine in in the last few years, at least. I guess that’s pretty common when little kid actors hit puberty.

SHUJI: So is your title Super High School Level Actress?

KATHERINE: Child Star.

SHUJI: Oh, that makes sense! You were really famous as a kid, huh?

KATHERINE: I guess so. Roxxy-san is a fan.

I faintly remember Roxxy flipping out in apparent joy at some point during the long introductions earlier. I guess she was pretty pumped to meet a childhood hero.

ALENA: My brothers like your...uh...the scary ones.

SHUJI: You were in horror movies?

KATHERINE: A handful, yes. I mostly did holiday stuff and horror. You watch them?

ALENA: No!

She looks terrified even at the mention of a horror movie.

SHUJI: I haven’t, no! When we get out of here I’ll make a point of it.

KATHERINE: Do whatever you want.

With that, she walks around us and leaves the room entirely, her heels clicking on the floor as she heads toward the dorms.

ALENA: She’s scary.

SHUJI: A bit, yeah. Are you alright?

Alena freezes as I look at her, but gradually shakes the paralysis free with a firm shake of her head.

ALENA: I don’t think so. Can you be? In this?

SHUJI: What, a laundry room?

ALENA: [Barely smiling.] A kidnapping situation.

SHUJI: Right, that. I forgot.

ALENA: Really? How? ...Would you teach me?

I laugh, despite myself. That’s the most animated I’ve ever seen Alena so far, but it’s so silly I can’t help but laugh.

Her hopeful expression turns to terror, though, and that shuts me up pretty quickly.

SHUJI: Sorry, Alena-chan. I was just joking. If I figure out how, I’ll teach you.

ALENA: ...Laughing at me?

She’s so quiet now I can only catch the end of her sentence.

SHUJI: No! I was laughing at my own joke, more than anything.

ALENA: ...Cocky…

I laugh again, but this time she smiles with me, covering her mouth with a hand as if to hide it away.

Without any dirty clothes to wash, we decide to continue on. We leave the laundry room and enter through the door directly opposite it. It’s unlabeled, as most of them have been, and when we enter we find a single stall bathroom and two boys.

One of them I can name, at least, and it’s something of a relief after all these introductions.

The other boy is a little hard to look at because he’s so pretty. Fair skin that seems to never have seen a blemish, red hair that looks unbelievably soft, and striking orange eyes in a completely bored face.

ISEI: Oh hey.

SHUJI: Hey!

ALENA: Hello.

KATA: ...As I was saying, I don’t think this is an ideal situation. If you would avoid interrupting me in the future, I’d like that.

ISEI: Be polite.

KATA: Why should I?

ISEI: Because being nice to each other is life or death in here, man. Have respect.

KATA: I assume the end of that sentence is ‘or else’...? As the sweater boy said, it’s pretty unlikely that anybody is going to actively try to kill anyone else.

ISEI: Sweater boy has a name.

KATA: Does he?

SHUJI: He does! I mean, I do!

The red-headed boy turns to me and looks me over with an analytical gaze. His eyebrow rises slowly over the course of it, and ultimately he seems to finish his assessment with a shrug. I do my best not to squirm, standing tall with shoulders square.

KATA: You didn’t introduce yourself when everyone was going around. To be fair, neither did she.

ALENA: …

KATA: Although I can see why. You’re painfully shy, right? The type who’d rather run away than have an introduction?

ALENA: …[Nods.]

KATA: You’re honest, at least. That type is surprisingly popular, so don’t worry too much. But don’t cling to me, either. I’m not here to help you.

ALENA: Okay...

ISEI: Why don’t you two introduce yourself?

SHUJI: Right. I’m Shuji Saji.

ALENA: ...ros…

She’s so quiet that, despite standing directly next to her, I can’t make out what she says. I decide to step in as best I can.

SHUJI: This is Alena Agyros. She’s an Urban Gardener.

KATA: That’s interesting. So we’ve got the painfully shy type, probably with some big guilty secret, and...you. What’s your deal?

SHUJI: I don’t really have a deal.

KATA: Right. I guess I’ll introduce myself. Kata Ama, Otome Game Developer.

I’m not really into otome games, personally, but even I’ve heard of Kata Ama. His games have been on the forefront of AI programming for years, with really notable art. I think I heard a TED talk on how they’re being used to help people genuinely learn romantic and personal skills because of the complexity of the routes and personalities of his characters.

I’m not surprised he got into and graduated from Hope’s Peak, but I’m a little surprised he didn’t get in as an AI programmer or something.

SHUJI: It’s nice to meet you.

KATA: I wish I could say the same.

Isei bops the back of Kata’s head with his hand.

KATA : The situation renders all of this rather un-nice. Don’t touch me.

ISEI: Don’t be a dick and you won’t get touched.

KATA: Fine.

SHUJI: How are you holding up, Soga-kun?

ISEI: Fine. As fine as it’s gonna be, I guess. I was exploring with the duo--Suzuki and Katayama--but I ended up going my own way. They’re drafting legislature or something and I just wanted to know what’s going on.

KATA: And what did you hope to learn?

ISEI: Maybe lots. Maybe nothing. Hard to tell at this point.

He shrugs, as if that explains what’s going through his head, and hunkers down to open the cabinet beneath the sink. I lean over him, curious to see if there’s anything worth investigating, but it looks like there’s only plumbing and extra toilet paper down there.

ALENA: Soga-san?

ISEI: What’s up?

ALENA: What are you looking for?

ISEI: I’m not sure. Anything that’s out of place, I guess. Sometimes it’s important to get a baseline picture of a place, too, so if anything is out of place later, I’ll notice.

ALENA: Wow.

SHUJI: Smart!

KATA: Maybe. It could be a total waste of time.

SHUJI: That seems unnecessarily negative. Why not investigate while we can?

KATA: It might be a waste of energy that we’ll want to conserve.

ALENA: For what?

KATA: Fending off attacks, maybe.

ALENA: Attacks?

SHUJI: Nobody is going to attack anybody. You’d have to be a total asshole to attack someone for no reason.

KATA: Hmm.

ISEI: Regardless, it’s not like looking around is a huge energy expenditure. I don’t get what you’re trying to do.

KATA: Look out for everyone. Obviously.

ISEI: Doesn’t seem real obvious to me.

The two glare at each other for a moment, and the tension in the room is a bit much for me now. I beckon to Alena, nodding toward the door, and her expression is relieved as she nods and we quietly exit.