“Are you going to wallow in misery for the whole day?” Jane gently shook my shoulders.

“Leave me be, Jane,” like a stubborn child I buried my head under the pillow and refused to talk to anyone.

“I am sorry,” she finally said with a dejected voice. “This is all my fault.”

“What are you talking about?” I pulled my head out to look at her.

“If I hadn't constantly pushed you toward Lord Jared, you wouldn’t be this unhappy.”

“Oh Jane! No! This is none of your fault!” I said, squeezing her tiny frame against mine.

“So it is about Lord Jared than?”

I froze at her words. My sister was very perceptive for her age. “It is,” I admitted.

“What happened? You were so excited to go to the opera only a few days ago.”

I sighed, contemplating how much I should tell her. “He kissed me,” I admitted. Why was I confessing this to my little sister? Because there was no one else to talk to, I realized. Edith was Jared’s sister and lately she was preoccupied with Richards.

“He did?” Her eyes went wide. “But why aren’t you happy then? You were so in love with him!”

“I was. I am,” I frowned at my muddled mind. “Honestly I don’t know what to feel Jane. He was there all my life and never have I questioned my love for him. But the moment we kissed, there was no…”

“Butterflies,” she finished for me.

I snapped my head back to her. “How did you…?”

“I overheard your friends talking about kissing. The day Edith and two other Ladies visited you?”

“Were you eavesdropping?” I said in horror. “Jane!”

“I am sorry! Please don’t be mad!” Her eyes filled with tears. “I would really like friends like yours Ashlyn.”

“Come here,” I said, feeling myself softening. I gave her a loving hug and patted her blonde head. “You’ll have friends like mine, but when you’re a bit older, all right? Just don’t do that ever again. Mama would be furious.”

“I promise,” she nodded earnestly. “Will you now tell me why are you so sad?” She positioned herself on the bed, right beside me.

“I am confused as to why there weren’t any butterflies. I mean there should be when you are in love. But what do I know,” I snorted at my naivety. “One of the girls who visited me that day, Bonnie. Do you remember her?”

She nodded, staring at me. “Yes, the Lady with golden bracelets.”

“Exactly. Jared mentioned he is torn. He told me he liked me, but he also likes her,” I let out, uncertain if she followed me.

“And there is also the fact that he cannot marry you, Ashlyn. You said so yourself, he needs money.”

“Indeed,” I whispered.

“So why are you sitting here and wasting your time thinking about him, when you should be searching for a prince Charming?” She said with annoyance.

I gawked at her in astonishment. “When did you get so wise, little sister?”

“I was always the wise one,” she playfully smacked my arm. “You are still going to the banquet this evening, aren’t you? Even if Lord Jared will be attending?”

“I have no choice. It is already the beginning of July, there’s not much time left.”

“Are you meeting someone tonight?”

“In fact I do. His Grace Andrew promised to introduce me to Lord Bradford Stanley, Earl of Yarborough.”

“Is he handsome?” She inquired with sparkling eyes.

“I honestly don’t care if he shows up with a potato sack over his head. I am only interested in his character,” I heard Jane giggle.

“You are quite desperate.”

“Yes, I am, I most definitely am by now. Season will close by the end of September,” I sent her a meaningful look.

“Well, hope is not lost yet, sister!” Jane’s eyes flashed with a mysterious gleam.

“What are you talking about? Should I be afraid?”

“It seems you have a secret admirer,” she mused before leaping off the bed. With that she dashed out of the room, only to return minutes later with a beautiful bouquet of white roses.

“Who sent these?”

“There is no card, that’s why he’s a secret admirer, silly,” her mouth twitched with humor.

“No card?” I echoed. “But why would’ve anyone sent me flowers without wanting me to know who they are?”

Was it Jared? Or, dear Lord, perhaps Lord Tinley?

“Isn’t it romantic?” She fanned herself.

“No. It’s rather foolish,” I shook my head, touching the silky petals. “But they are really beautiful.”

***

I lifted my skirts as I entered Lord Aidan’s carriage. I still gritted my teeth with annoyance when Papa told me I would be riding with my aunt and her newly acquired lover. But I suppose it was impossible to attend without being chaperoned. However this wasn’t the worst part of it. I couldn’t ride with His Grace Andrew and Edith because their carriage was already full. Jared was joining them – with Bonnie by his side.

So I had no choice but to sit next to my bubbly, half-drunken aunt, who couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

The banquet was hosted by one of aunt Abby’s friends, Lady Wyatt. She, similarly to my aunt was rich and widowed, however much more refined. Lady Wyatt was well known in the upper society, so the whole crème de la crème of London should be present tonight. She inherited a beautiful mansion after her late husband, fit to host at least three hundred guests.

Upon our arrival I immediately parted myself form my aunt and Lord Aidan. Standing on my tiptoes I searched for Edith’s distinctive red curls amidst the crowd of arriving guests.

“That’s it. I am choosing my suitor tonight!” I announced when I finally managed to catch up with her.

“Where’s the rush, dear friend? Has something happened?” She smiled at my eagerness before looking up at me.

If only she’d known. “Nothing,” I said too hastily, earning a curious look from her. My eyes darted to Jared’s hand which rested comfortably on Bonnie’s back. He was too preoccupied to even notice my presence.