Well, I wonder how this came to be?

One moment I was standing there having a nice conversation and now….

Hmmmmm, let’s try to retrace what happened up to this point, maybe I can figure out why it’s come to this. So…

I was walking down the street today. It was a nice and clear day outside. The air was refreshing, I had had my first decent night’s sleep in a long time, and my stomach was full of tasty things.

Well so far so good, let’s move forwards a little bit.

I started to get a little thirsty, so I headed to the market district to look for a cool refreshing drink. There were lots of stands and I acted a little bit like a kid shopping at a toy store with sparkles in my eyes. Well I haven’t had something sweet to drink in a while, so I think the way I acted was acceptable on a certain level. While I was behaving that way I heard someone laughing behind me.

It was Alice, she was the nice lady who led me into town the other day. My childish antics must have been pretty amusing to her. Seeing her golden hair shine in the sunlight with a small smile on her face, I think I might have blushed a little bit. To be giggled at by a pretty woman, that was an interesting feeling.

Well after that we were walking together while I was drinking the juice she suggested. It was nice and sweet but also a little tart. It was delicious. The market area was bustling and had a good atmosphere, it was like the cafeteria at my school. I’ll never see that place again, so I was pretty happy to have a place as lively as that, though thinking about that might have brought down my mood a bit.

Oh well it didn’t bother me too much so that probably wasn’t the trigger.

Anyways Alice and I continued walking down the street while talking about nothing in particular, besides marveling at what a beautiful day it was and her mentioning what a strange fellow I am. I didn’t mind, I am pretty strange after all, we had a good laugh about it.

I think it was about here when things started turning in a bad direction. I looked to one side of the street and saw a couple of children. They all had dirty clothes and downtrodden looks on their faces. I asked Alice about it and she told me not to worry about it, as they were all slaves. That’s when I noticed they all had collars around their necks, there were even a few that had puffy red eyes like they had been crying. They were even holding signs that looked like they listed the prices they were to be sold for.

I guess I remembered hearing something about the fact that slavery exists here. It’s a terrible thing. I don’t think that there is anything I can do about it though. I’m very weak after all.

My mood started to darken a bit, but somehow, I still don’t think this was what made this situation happen. I decided to just walk by. Alice seemed to notice that I didn’t feel too good about the whole slave thing so she gave me an understanding look. Well at least I’m not the only one who finds it to be wrong.

That was when the owner came out of his shop. He saw that one of the little girls with the puffy red eyes was sitting down instead of standing up and her sign was on the ground. He started yelling at her.

I’m pissed off but I’m too weak to do anything.

I’m too pathetic to even help myself, how could I help anyone else?

I’m a piece of trash with no talents, what can I do?

Even if I stepped in nothing would change, I can’t change anything.

Lots of thoughts rolled through my mind, they all had the same basic message though.

That’s when he started to hit the little girl.

He hit her hard, first with his giant fist and then with his foot once her face hit the ground. I heard a startled cry from the punch but now all I heard was sobbing. I stopped moving forward. Alice is looking at me with a worried expression. You don’t need to worry Alice, I know I can’t do anything.

But then why did I stop?

He starts hitting her harder, there’s blood now. I can’t look away. I feel like something weird is happening to my face. Am I making a disgusted expression? No, that doesn’t feel right. The corners of my mouth are curling up. Am I smiling? Why? What is wrong with me? Even as I think about how messed up I look, my lips curled into what feels like a grin.

I was smiling so wide it hurt. Alice was backing away from me, that’s probably a good idea Alice, I don’t think I’m mentally stable right now. I think my face is twitching, I must have looked pretty terrifying. The man finally looked up from the little girl he was beating and looked at me. I think he said something like ‘what the fuck do you want?’ but I couldn’t really hear anything. All I heard was rumbling, is this what they call blood rushing to your head?

No wait, how did I get in front of him? I don’t even remember. My right arm felt warm for some reason. I look down and my arm disappears into the man’s chest. Uhhhhhh, what? I kept looking and realized that my hand is also there, but it’s coming out of his back. Did I just put my hand through this man’s chest?! How?!

Hmmmm, even though I had now backtracked through the entire day to this point, I still have no idea how I got here. I don’t really know what’s going on anymore, but I hear some muffled screams through the rumbling. Yup, I think I just killed this man. His face looks pretty shocked. Maybe I look like that too. No. Actually I can still feel the smile on my lips, it’s so big now that it’s tearing the skin. Alice must be terrified. Maybe that was her screaming.

Even if I could, why did I do this? Sure slavery is bad but I don’t think putting your arm through a slave merchant’s torso with a smile on your face is anywhere near a normal reaction. Was it because he was beating her? That might be it, I do have some trauma with that after all. So maybe the reason for today’s events have something to do with stuff further in the past for me.

Maybe it was being treated as a meat bag for a couple months? No I don’t think that’s enough for this….

Maybe the torture then? That seems more plausible, it happened for a few years after all.

Hmmm, I don’t think I’m getting at the heart of it. Haha, get it, because my hand is going through this man’s…. Ahem that was a pretty poor joke.

Maybe it was getting dragged here in the first place? The shitty way people have treated me? How about the fact that all of this was against my will and I was just along for the ride? Hmmmmm, getting closer.

OH! I think I know! I’ve gone insane, haven’t I?! That would explain this whole thing! What an easy answer to this whole situation.

Well I’m glad I got to the bottom of that. Why was I wondering about this again?

Oh yeah, the arm going through the chest and whatnot. Oh well, now I feel like I have a clearer head since I know what’s going on. What a burden off my shoulders.

It feels like people are looking at me. Lots of people. What? I’m just insane you know so it’s quite alright, you can go back to your lives now.

I slip my right arm out of the man and walk back to Alice, but she has a fairly strained look on her face.

Wait, I just remembered something important! My hand, it's empty now after pulling it out of that man's chest...

Where did my juice go?!