《An Id of Primal Chaos》Chapter 2 <> Illusion of Choice
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NO.
A burst of activity arises from my mind space, threads of Influence extend throughout my very being originating from beyond the barrier now perforated with innumerable holes.
Excruciating pain, eclipsed only by the initial construction of the juncture, envelopes my mind as the threads attack everything that is me.
I scream at the top of my lungs, this physical action providing me a small amount of willpower to endure, and fight back against, this existence-threatening attack.
However, any thread that I push back beyond the barrier is replaced with five more. This is a battle I cannot win.
I can feel memories slipping away from me, precious life experiences being ripped apart by the Influence this being exerted. This cannot continue.
Gods, but I feel so helpless, so powerless. My mind fraying at the edges, I gaze upon the proud barrier, now bulging with an immense amount of energy pressed against it. Awe permeates my mind and I feel as though this situation has been echoed many times before. The peasant staring down the king in defiance, the misbegotten corporate slave staring daggers at his lavishly arrogant CEO from across the street, Captain Ahab and his crew of ill-fated sailors ensorcelled by the bulk of the godly White Whale.
I walked along a well-trodden path and it just so happened that at the terminus lay a sheer cliff that led straight into inexistence.
I had made a grave mistake by resisting this influence and yet... I cannot help but double down on my efforts. My soul and mind are my own to control, no other being or even the gods themselves will control me.
STOP!
I scream through my mind space grappling as many threads as I could and burn them through with my own meager influence.
My mind space rumbles ominously and the now shredded barrier I’d carefully constructed blows apart in a cascade of shimmering light, allowing torrents of foreign energy to rush through my mind space.
I screech in pain and terror as my mind begins to irrevocably fracture.
Stop stop stop stop stop, make it stop, please, I will do anything, I want to exist, stop stop stop, please stop, please god WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!
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The threads freeze and the chaos ceases. I still writhe in pain and my mind, the shattered piece of glass that it now is, continues to fall apart.
Ha... heehee... HAHAAAHAHAAAHAAHA!!! Sonorous female laughter erupts throughout my mind space and the threads retreat to their source.
A fresh wave of agony overtakes me as the being sweeps a wave of power over my mind, healing the destruction she had wrought within seconds.
‘Why-‘ I muster, still shivering with the echoes of pain.
Your bout of defiance amused me and so I thought to humble you.
She speaks this as though she hadn’t just destroyed my very being and put it back together... this...... bitch.
I glower with all the hatred I can muster, well, I would have had I had a body in this place. However, my mind is the place in which we now converse so my emotions should be portrayed fairly well.
Your hatred means nothing to me just as any qualms you may have about my actions mean nothing. What does matter is who I am and my purpose for you. I am Ninalexia, the God-Queen/Overseer of the realm known as Niln. I want you to be my emissary in this realm known as the Web of Interconnected Realities, and serve as the beachhead for my inevitable invasion. However, I am not so evil as to not provide you with benefits in this arrangement nor will I steal your mind from you. I am millions of years old and you mortals serve as a sort of entertainment for us higher beings. Now, take what I have to offer, and you will become akin to a god on this magic-less wasteland of a world. If you refuse, well, I can simply tweak your mind and make you my slave, but that wouldn’t be very much fun now would it?
Ninalexia, as she calls herself, makes herself known during the beginning of her speech, a darkened silhouette gradually forming into a tall feminine humanoid. The only feature that exists upon her perfect face are three heterochromatic eyes, the scleras black and the pupils white. Her face is perfectly white and her shoulder length hair seems spun out of diamond. Wings of violet energy adorn her back, undulating in some unknown wind and a crown of twisted metal floats an inch above her head. She is completely naked to my surprise although quite androgynous to my mind’s eye. She looks... like a goddess, no perceived flaw whatsoever.
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Though, none of her speech or the beautiful creature in front of me lessens my anger any. My mind space still trembles with unbidden rage.
A second later though, the rage leaves me like a blown out candle and my mind wobbles like I’d been dealt a blow.
Anger is not a productive emotion and leads to senseless irrationality and bad decision-making. Please refrain from being angry again.
I don’t know what to say, I’m flabbergasted.
“I can’t just not be angry, I endured literal torture, untold pain because of you. Your deal sounds sketchy at best and I have no proof of anything you claim or even how the fuck any of this is possible. I’m really struggling here.”
It’s not your place to question a god, mortal. All I can say is that you will not regret saying yes and that the current you will no longer exist should you say no. I’m positive you will choose the correct answer.
What a hard-ass. Seems like I have no option here and with all I’ve seen so far from this ‘god’, I have no reason to try and call her bluff.
Not that I’d want to; who would I be to refuse such a boon? Something that may allow for the fulfillment of my loftiest dreams? Regardless of the possibility of traps and caveats, it would still be worth the risk.
Yet I am still struck with indecision, the word ‘yes’ hovering on the tip of my tongue but my mouth refuses to open. This is what I want, right? All I have ever wanted, if this being was to be believed.
And yet, I couldn’t help feel like this was all too easy, too convenient. So…
“Why me?”
The God’s avatar seems to smirk, her three eyes squinting and her head shaking slightly as though trying to hold in a laugh.
Because you are you, and I am me; why else? You and your motivations are interesting, interesting enough to catch my attention. It’s true I could have picked anybody on this magically sterile planet, nothing in particular makes you special compared to the rest. And yet, there is something about you, something… alluring.
She ponders for a moment, head tilted in an inquisitive gesture.
Her words echo in my brain; despondency and hollowness fill the void they create.
“So I won a lottery is what you are saying,” my imaginary fists clenched in anger. I begin forming a mental avatar of my own, the very core of my being comes into existence; a weakly glowing but persistent flame makes up my center. Flickering limbs appear, fragile to the point where a stray wind could wipe me away. While this was a futile show of defiance, it showed my resolve and undying will to succeed.
When my visage is complete, I speak to her with utter determination, “I’ve made it my life’s goal to prove that I am different from the rest, that I am not a nobody, that I will be remembered, that I will be like a god amongst men, that I will conquer all I endeavor to take, and that I will destroy anything and everything that stands in my way towards attaining these goals. Your words change NOTHING! Even without your power, this world WILL BE MINE!” My mind space is set aflame by the furor of my words, energy coalescing and breaking apart in cadence to my words and their incessant rhythm.
Nina spreads her arms wide and laughs, the beautific sound radiating throughout infinity, That. There it is! The defiance, the fiery passion to take, to consume, to make it all yours! Such a rarity among your species… So, I will take that as a yes then?
I sigh, suddenly weary beyond my years, “Yes.”
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