《A Nation of Distances (possibly a dystopian love story)》19 The Good Old Ditch-the-chaperone Trick

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No more than a week and a half later Michael picked Megan and Eliza up at Seventh City Wife Factory again on a Saturday afternoon as if it were the most normal thing in the world now. There still were no concrete marriage plans, but they liked this new arrangement, even though it was disturbing how much everything depended on his manly fiancé authority to decide things for the girls. When he had mentioned that to Eliza she had shrugged and said that they were lucky indeed that they could just talk to him like a reasonable human being, because manipulation would take much more energy and wouldn’t be so much fun. She had even patted his head and said that he shouldn’t worry his little brains about those things, because the one and only Eliza would always have found a way for her and her friends.

While he was inclined to believe that Eliza could indeed easily manipulate administrative systems that ran on autopilot and hack computers, robots and databases when needed, there was only one Eliza in a whole Nation filled with privileged men, and he highly doubted her ability to manipulate actual men with power. No matter how many impressive talents Eliza had, manipulative flirting certainly wasn't one of them.

They were greeted by Angela and Samantha on Square plaza. It was one of the last sunny afternoons of the late summer, so they decided to sit outside again, even though there was a small unsegregated section of two tables inside now. This was indeed becoming a new kind of normal, and even Samantha imposing on him had become part of the routine.

‘And, doesn’t the great revolutionary like to pay a poor working woman a beer today?’ She said, making a pose that was supposed to be seductive but didn’t get more effect than Michael saying ‘Leave me alone, Sam,’ while he was sipping a Manfred pils beer that she couldn’t order. All of it seemed to have become part of their new life in which a new world was brewing. At least a world in which men and women had places to meet again, more and more places had a small unsegregated place now, even if it was controversial too. It was a brave new world where girls still were unable to order men beers though, but that was safer too in the case of Samantha.

‘You know you’re not supposed to flirt with him, Sam. He’s still my fiancée after all. I’ve said it countless times now.’ Megan said, smugly, placing herself between Michael and Samantha. Eliza just nodded and took on her teacher voice in an almost perfect imitation of Miss Hunter.

‘Don’t worry. He doesn’t even react to it, Megan. Scientifically interesting when it comes to subject M-1 is that we have conclusive proof here that he doesn’t like every girl in the world, contrary to what has been posited in earlier theories by more superficial observers. As you can see we’ve found one he clearly doesn’t like very much. More scientific research is needed though.’

Michael frowned. ‘Hey, we both are here, Eliza! I told you before not to talk about people as if they’re not there. It’s not nice. Not even in your mock science theories,’’ he said.

Eliza patted him on the head again. ‘Okay, subject M-1, then let me say this straight in your face: you don’t like Samantha here at all. As a woman I mean. Even though she’s being flirty and sexy and whatever you want, and objectively biologically an attractive female. According to our best theories boys should fall for that. No free will there even according to the standard handbook. That you don’t disproves a lot of axioms from Miss Hunter’s how-to-please-your-husband classes, as well as certain gossip theories.’

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‘Gossip that I’m in love with every girl I meet? Has it come to that? I am an engaged man. And Samantha is not my type. And if women clearly don’t like people who are pushy, why would anyone in their right mind expect men to be different?’ He asked, also slightly irritated.

Megan now pulled out her own version of Miss Hunter’s voice: ‘Men are weak animals with no self-control. That means we have to call them strong all the time and make them leaders, and never contradict them.’

‘Hey…’

Eliza added more, in her normal voice. ‘Don’t shoot the midi-player if you don’t like the composition! It’s more or less what they teach us in Wife School. But on the other hand, Megan, you might watch out for Deep Blue Eyes here. She is completely his type it seems.’

Angela turned red, which made the blue her eyes stand out even more, and Michael raised his hand to protest but it was Megan who answered.

‘As are you, Eliza. And I’m not afraid of you either. You both have integrity, as well as him,’ she said, smug again, and she drank the rest of her glass of three herbs ice tea.

Michael dropped his hand again, and looked at Samantha, who seemed completely puzzled now and lost in between casual remarks about her being objectively an attractive female and at the same time not his type.

‘I never imagined relationships between men and women to be so complex.’ Angela blurted out.

‘Oh, that’s probably true, but we’re not even there yet. I’m not even sure I’d call Mr. Cute Archangel and Ms. He’s-my-fiancée-so-don’t-flirt-with-him an actual couple.’ Eliza smirked.

‘Don’t play the expert in things you know nothing about. I chose her, she’s my wife-to-be, and that’s a serious responsibility that I have to take.’ Michael said.

‘You still make it sound like you made her pregnant or so when you say it like that, while you two won’t even kiss yet. Even removing your shoulder Ancon-chips wouldn’t lead to any pregnancies at all for the next 10 years if you keep on progressing in this way.’

‘Hey! Give us some time and space, please. I’m not ready for that yet.’

‘That’s what I mean. No problem in any of that, but I wouldn’t call it a passionate relationship when you’re just two friends of the opposite sex who are trying to figure out how to be friendly with the other side of our great divide between men and women. You should have seen them when he took her to his bedroom and all they did was sorting out school books. So passionate…’

She turned to Samantha with a sarcastic smile and Megan stood up.

‘Hey, recurring chaperone or not, our relationship is our business and not yours to dissect. Come Michael, I think it’s time for a little bit of a good old ditch-the-chaperone game now. Time for some Michael-Megan time alone. We’ll be back before it’s time to go, so enjoy his beer for now. And order some more drinks. It’s on him.’

She took his hand and he didn’t protest, so they disappeared together in the direction of the park.

‘What was that?’ Angela asked.

Eliza looked at Samantha. ‘Was it me that said something wrong this time?’

‘You were insufferable, to be honest. You can be worse than me, Eliza, and you know that. At least Angela is completely innocent, beyond having deep blue eyes that is…’ Samantha replied.

Eliza had focused her attention on something else already: ‘But look, our little birds are finally flying. It’s their fifth date outside of school and they finally took some time alone apart from their nosy chaperone. Those idiots really listen to that chaperone rule as if their life depended on it. They actually live in this kind of messed-up dystopia and still they’re both too nice to ever break any rules unless they are really unjust, which really is a handicap in The Nation, especially for men. It’s rather expected from them to break certain rules, and never break others. Take for example the no premarital sex rule…’

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‘How do you mean?’ Samantha asked, sipping from what was left of Michael’s beer, her spoils of war from the war between the sexes for today.

‘Well, the rule is there, and they even have to sign a paper that they will follow it, and the Church tells them about it all the time, the whole hell thing and all for those who believe it, but still at the same time it’s almost universally assumed that they will break it anyway, if not on the first date then later on, long before the marriage. Especially with the longer engagement period for men under twenty it’s taken as a given. Because that’s what a Real Man does. You know that if a girl gets dumped after the first date she usually gets a ‘probably not a virgin’ stamp in her dossier, and every boy interested in her afterwards will be warned about that. So the ditch-the-chaperone trick is just expected on a date, and for more than the little walk in the park they’re having now.’

‘But, they even have to sign a paper you say? And they still count on not following the rules? How is that even possible?’

‘There’s conflicting sets of rules, spoken and unspoken. There’s also the very important being a Real Man stuff. Be a man! And a Real Man wants sex all the time, and has no feelings apart from that, stuff like that. Which is equally important as the actual written rules. Otherwise you lose face and mean nothing in the male hierarchy. It’s really a jungle out there for a man.’

‘But isn’t it all just completely inconsistent? Aren’t they contradicting themselves all the time?’ Angela asked.

‘In a way, yes… And that’s certainly how Michael sees it too, but the fact that so many people do the same thing means that there is some kind of agreed-on unwritten rule book too, floating in the common thoughtfield of Nation men, that most of them seem to follow without a problem. Except for tiny details, like that it makes them unhappy and destructive creeps who are unable to be a decent lover in marriage that is. But our Loverboy didn’t seem to catch any of this. Plus his whole personality type is the exact opposite of a Real Man, luckily, so he can’t even pretend to be one, and he gave up on that before puberty even, and found other ways to survive being a boy in this wicked Nation of toxic men. Which gives him a lot of disadvantages sometimes, but at least he stayed himself and didn’t lose his soul. And that’s what makes him so valuable in many way for us, not just for the lucky woman he marries if that’ll happen indeed. I’m not even too sure about that to be honest. But he’s adaptable and intelligent enough to invent coping mechanisms on the spot when needed.’

‘I must say that you’re quite good at this, Eliza. You could’ve a top student if they would allow you to enter that school for brainie boys.’ Angela said.

‘Nah, not in a million years. That kind of school only gives you very narrow versions of certain important domains of science that are good for the economy, interlayered with brainwashing nonsense. They don’t always teach the important or interesting stuff at all. But if you can sift a bit, some of their handbooks are quite good, that I must admit. I don’t think they would ever have the quality Michealology that I just patched together though.’

‘True, they don’t always teach the right subjects. Maybe with more Michaelology I would have a chance in seducing him.’ Samantha said.

‘No, it would only teach you that it’s hopeless, much more hopeless than his relationship with Megan even.’

‘Speaking of them, what would they be doing right now?’ Samantha asked, looking innocently at the empty beer glass.

Eliza shrugged. ‘Them? They disappeared in the direction of the park. So now they’re just walking and talking and complaining about how I went too far, or about you still being too flirty. And after a while maybe silently looking in each other’s eyes or a hug or so. What do you think they are doing? It’s not like they’re burning with passion or something like that. But it’s good for them to be alone together if they actually want to be a couple. They still have a lot to learn if they want to live together as a married couple in a year, and I was starting to fear that they’d never even do that to be honest. Maybe I should have given the suggestion earlier, in a very direct way. Hints don’t work on him at all. But imagine them when they suddenly realise they just got married and then are shocked that they’re alone with each other after never being alone without a chaperone…’

‘He’s not really what they told me men were, to be honest.’ Angela said, thoughtfully.

‘Most men can’t really live up to the stereotypes either, but they can hide it better. Plus he wasn’t ready at all for a relationship of any kind, and he’s still just adjusting to being around girls anyway. Combine that with Megan who didn’t plan on being taken for the next four years and you get something like them. But it still might be one of the best mixed relationships The Nation has seen in the last century and a half or so.’

‘Mixed relationships?’ Samantha asked, unfamiliar with the term.

‘Yes, between men and women I mean. It’s a Ghost Town expression. There certainly are much better relationships among the women couples in the hidden Female Society, for which love and respect are a given, but Nation Marriages between men and women are built on a foundation that makes it impossible to have any love at all if you follow the rules. I’ve always found it a pity that I’m not attracted to girls to be honest. But I’m a Wife School student, so that won’t make any difference if I get chosen anyway, from that moment I sort of become property of my future husband, just as I am more or less the property of my father now, as is my mother. Not that he cares at all with how I turned out, but technically he still more or less owns me. And if a man takes you out of Wife School for marriage you follow him and leave everything behind, including all the friends you’ve lived with as a family. The friendship pact I made with Megan and Shirley to stay in touch even after Wife School no matter what happens is quite rare you know.’

‘So you’re basically waiting in a golden cage waiting to be fed to the first beast that finds you tasty-looking, and you can’t build up anything that will last. And yet we always say the Wife School girls are better off than us.’ Angela mused.

‘Okay, Megan’s quite lucky for a Wife School girl, with a very smart man like him who still doesn’t even understand the Nation concept of women being property, the silly idealistic boy! But if he likes every girl except for me then there still is a problem for them, not? He’s supposed to be monogamous and all, even without property stuff as part of the story.’ Samantha asked.

‘More like nono-gamous for him right now… I hope he likes her more than me or Deep Blue Eyes here, in the more-than-friendship department I mean, but it’s hard to tell with them. And then we also have the problem of them following the rules. He’s so obsessed with her being his responsibility that he’d never even allow the thought of not marrying her now that he chose her. And she knows that for a Wife School match she’s in the lucky 0.01%, so she doesn’t see any other option than marrying him. And while not giving the most fireworks I believe it could work, in some kind of way anyhow. But who says I’m not too cynical, maybe they’re being lovey-dovey right now in their own special way on a park bench. In the end, who wouldn’t fall in love with Michael? Or with Megan if you’re into girls? They’re both the grand prize if you ask me.’

‘Most people in this world would disagree with that, you know. He’s just so-and-so for a Nation boy, and Megan isn’t very special either objectively speaking.’ Samantha said.

‘Most of the world sucks then. My best friend is the most attractive lady on the planet, and Michael is the only man I know that wouldn’t be a portal to hell in a relationship. Plus he is just cute. Not cool or tough or whatever a Real Man is supposed to be, but still extremely cute, it’s almost irresistible.’

‘I think you’re just telling on yourself, Eliza.’ Samantha said with a satisfied smile on her face.

‘Oh, no, no men for me, not even him. I’m a free woman and plan to stay like that. Marriage is for others who are better with risk-taking than I am. And he’s Megan’s, so he’s off limits anyway. She deserves to be that one rare lucky girl with a decent marriage in this rotten world.’

‘Yeah, sure…’ Samantha said, finishing Michael's beer.

While their friends were doing a rather disturbing analysis of their relationship, Megan and Michael didn’t do much more than slowly walk through the park alone without saying much, and after a while they just sat on the bench together.

‘Sorry for dragging you along like that, but even Eliza can be irritating sometimes, and I just felt like being actually alone with you after all that nonsense. Just being with you, you know.’

‘I must say I’m surprised, I never thought you’d ever ditch Eliza for me, but yes, she was being a bit irritating.’

‘The most unmarriable girl in Wife School according to Greystone, and he might not be completely wrong, seeing his definition of marriage.’

‘Since when did that guy become an authority on relationships? But you seem bothered with what she said. Was it how she said I like all girls I know except for Sam? Or because we don’t seem to have enough of a romantic relationship yet for her?’

‘Well, is she wrong on either? And I know it’s my fault too, I readily admit. I’ve been slowing down our relationship indefinitely myself, while you are still enjoying getting used to girls, surrounded by all those very likable female creatures plus Sam. We’re quite the hopeless couple, aren’t we?’ Megan said.

He took her hand. ‘But we are a couple. We have to be! And you don’t have to fear me liking someone else more. You are beautiful, and I love you in several ways, and it will certainly not be a punishment if they force us tomorrow to marry and live together. We’d still be a million times luckier than all of the Nation couples that I know. I do like you, and I love you.’

He gave her a hug.

‘I know, Mister Archangel. I can’t say that I don’t love you. And it’s not a punishment to be with you at all. But I’m still wondering… Would we have chosen each other without the whole Wife School thing? If your childhood friend little Lizzie had been in a better mood that day you might be talking about taking responsibility for her now because you had chosen her. You know what I mean?’

Michael held her closer.

‘I doesn’t matter what could have been. I could have gone to the B-floor too, or ran out in a panic attack without even choosing a girl. Time is full of chaos and accidents, and then you make the best of it. We’re together now, officially, and we’re going to figure it out together. And we might need some more alone time here and there too to be more of a couple, it’s not like Eliza is going to sleep between us after we’re married… We’ll really be living together then.’

‘True, but be assured I’ll have to ditch you every now and then for a pyjama party with her and Shirley too. The oath of sisterhood of the Wife School trio is also sacred.’

‘You sneak away with me from her to tell me that? Whose side are you even on? I thought you wanted me to have you more as a priority?’

‘It’s part of the exclusive things I will gain if you’re the man I marry. It means I can keep my girlfriends and even share them with you as friends. You don’t know how much that means. I’m still relieved with the friendship pact that we made, and I know you’re not going to hinder me in that. But you’re right. I’m being a very bad Wife right now.’ ‘You’re not a Wife, you’re a fiancée…’

‘For now. But that’ll change over time.’ She said darkly.

He saw the sad look in her eyes. ‘We’re both just not ready and still confused. And the fact that you can open up like that to me being a boy means that our relationship is quite good I’d say.’

‘Maybe you’re just the first boy in The Nation who got the chance to learn girl friendships? Who says it’s anything more than that?’

‘Come on, I’m overwhelmed by how good we are together, and you get all cynical again. Don’t be like that. You are so much more than I ever believed a girl could be. And I like being with you, and I hate you being sad.’

‘Sorry, I’m a bit of a moodkiller on our first time alone, ain’t I?’

‘Come, hold me until we’re both no longer sad. And know that I never want to live without you!’ He said, and they sat very closely together for quite a while before they returned to Square Plaza.

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