《A Nation of Distances (possibly a dystopian love story)》11 A First Date with a Feral Chaperone
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‘Do you think they noticed something about switching chaperones, Eliza?’ Megan asked her best friend.
‘Never, especially not Grumpy Greystone. That guy has less sentience in him than a wife-o-matic robot. And it always seems to be him that needs to deal with you and loverboy for some reason. I wonder if the others are nervous about a Gamma-1 boy. But alas, switching names was just too easy and not the challenge I hoped it would be.’
Megan nodded, she knew that little acts of espionage and sabotage were something that made her friend come alive, and now they both were in a good mood for her second meeting and first actual date with Michael Adams. Megan had dressed up for the occasion with not just the blue dress, but also with make-up and braids in her hair. She had done her best with what she had found on the E-floor, and had used a lot of her inventive creativity to emulate the simulacrum of a woman on a date from pre-Nation books, and she had done so in a way that didn’t really exist anymore. It was funny, but she certainly hadn’t done all the effort because of the silly rules that said that Wives had to be pleasing to their husbands in all kinds of ways and thus always have to be pretty and sexy. They had always taught her that those things were of the utmost importance but they really meant nothing to her, and on every other occasion she probably would have rebelled against them in all possible ways. The only reason was that she actually found it fun herself to do so, and she felt free to try out new things.
Something about Michael had taken away all the pressure about having to be perfect for a man, and without any danger of losing she felt like playing the game nonetheless just for the sake of playing. She never had many occasions to have fun, and she felt a strange freedom that she hadn’t known before.
The same freedom had been picked up by Eliza, who had used all of her creativity in the opposite direction. Seemingly she had done no effort whatsoever to be pretty, but actually she’d done her best to look as awful as possible. She wore really old pants, an old stained baggy shirt with holes in it, and her hair had been turned into some kind of eldritch abomination straight out of a horror comic. She was quite satisfied with the terrible mess of a girl she had turned herself into, but apart from Megan and possibly Shirley no-one else had gotten the joke. The poor official Greystone had tried to do something about it, but as always Eliza had been beyond his control, and in the end he had just given up. Eliza had reasoned with him that it was important for the bride-to-be to look as pretty as possible, and if the chaperone would look too pretty the poor potential husband could get confused, and fall in love with the wrong girl since she was the second girl he’d see in her life, and she didn’t want her irresistible femininity to confuse the poor boy. Greystone had shaken his head, and left the weird girl to her own reasoning. He didn’t like the idea to have that girl in Seventh City Wife factory until she was 25 and too old to be in a Wife School, but she was really the most unhusbandworthy woman he’d ever seen in all the years that he had had this job, so he didn’t have much hope of getting rid of her soon.
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But ultimately whatever this weird girl did was none of his business. And the boy in question was a Gamma-1, so it was his problem. Any bit of a man would deal with it in appropriate ways, and class one males were out of his league and had their own logic that he couldn’t keep up with. Especially this one it seemed.
Eliza herself had her own reasons to be careful today and to not look too attractive, at least in theory. The chaperone tradition was a bit weird, in that just taking a second girl, and a single one at that, on a date with a Wife School match would usually not give much protection to a future Wife against the man who had chosen her if he was forceful, but maybe in a dark twisted way that was the point of the whole thing. At least that was what she had always thought. No-one had the right to stop a man who had chosen a Wife, or something like that, and the chaperone herself was always a girl that wasn’t taken yet. No-one liked to be in that role, especially when the man in question was too eager, and wanted to take the bride-to-be to his bedroom or a hotel room or so. It certainly taught the single girls themselves something about men. Eliza had been a chaperone once for another girl, and it really hadn’t been a good experience. After that she had found her own special ways to make sure that she would never have to play the chaperone again until now, which involved what Megan called “espionage”.
But today things were different, and for once Eliza was happy to play the chaperone.
‘I’m really glad that you are here for me now, and not Ursula.’ Megan whispered.
‘I already said it wasn’t hard. This school is not really a good preparation for becoming a decent spy, they make it way too easy. It’s not that hard to fool people who are stupider than you but who think you are the one who’s stupid by default,’ she giggled while looking at official Greystone from the corner of her eyes.
‘But where is the young man in question? I seem to remember that a date needs two people if my information is right. It’s true that I’m not the biggest expert, but I know that much.’
Megan pointed at the door. ‘He’s there, and just in time. Perfectly punctual. And wow, he’s even wearing a suit. He’s also playing along with the game. This is going to be fun indeed. Even if nothing will happen.’
‘Oh yeah, baby!’ Eliza said. She was really enjoying the show. This was going to be unforgettable, and unless she was very mistaken about him, they would be safe indeed, and her careful precautions straight out of the secret book of advanced courtship sabotage, which only select girls with the right black market connections knew about, would turn out to be completely unnecessary. That was a rare thing when men were involved, but she welcomed it more than she showed in her reactions. And yet, who in their right mind would ignore a perfect opportunity to improvise on the more advanced techniques of courtship sabotage in a perfectly safe setting?
A well-dressed Michael Adams came in, and dropped some documents in the hands of an emotionless Greystone.
‘You have received the rules for your second meeting, young man Adams?’
‘I have, my dear friend, I have. I’ve read the whole thing, and I don’t have any objections,’ He said cheerfully.
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‘Then don’t forget to fill in the paper afterwards and let us know whether you found your wife-to-be pleasing to you. And thank you for choosing Seventh City Wife Factory.’
Michael looked at him, trying hard not to laugh.
‘Your fiancée will be accompanied by a, eh, chaperone, who will have to fill in a report too. So we can see whether you are truthful in reporting what you did.’
He looked extremely disapprovingly at Eliza again while saying these words, and she smiled innocently back at him.
‘I will, my dear official Greystone, I will.’ She said with a sweet girl voice.
‘Okay, off with you all. Good luck with your date, Mr. Adams.’ He said with a voice that indicated deep doubt about that.
‘Come on, we don’t have all day,’ Michael said to the girls and he took Megan’s hand. She looked a bit surprised at that, but didn’t protest.
They left Seventh City Wife Factory together.
‘Wow, glad to be out. How can you even live there? And what’s that guy’s problem? You’d really think he’s a robot’
Eliza giggled. ‘Official Greystone? Confirmed human. And I say that as a robotics expert. He’s just old and grumpy and likes to follow the rules, and he doesn’t like low-graded girls. I’m not even sure if he likes girls at all, or even people in general, but that’s only better for us. Much safer with him around.’
Michael stopped, and looked at her, puzzled, and then he understood.
‘Ah, not the type that will abuse the girls you mean. Man, what kind of messed-up prison you have to live in. I don’t know what to say, but I’m so sorry for all of you.’
Megan protested. ‘Hey, we went with you to have fun for once, so don’t remind us all the time how miserable we are in Wife School. Please be our escape for once. Never thought I’d say that to a boy, but let’s break all the rules today and have some fun.’
‘Yeah, and tell the unenlightened chaperone what your wild plans are, and also what the alternate version is that I have to put on Greystones paper,’ added Eliza conspiratorially. ‘I suppose you’re not going to do the traditional dump-the-chaperone trick and then smuggle her to your bedroom whether she wants it or not?’
Michael was taken aback. ‘Eh, does that happen? At the second meeting? The papers say it shouldn’t happen, but I am naive again I guess?’
‘Very naive for such an intelligent boy indeed. Why do you think girls get a red “Probably not a Virgin” stamp on their dossier when they are dumped after the first date outside of school when they have been alone with a boy…’ Megan said very matter-of-factly
‘But no. I don’t really have wild plans, I just want to walk around at places where we all can go together and just hang around or so. Which limits the possibilities enormously since this whole freaking Nation is segregated like hell for men and women. But we’ll find something. Hades-brimstone! I can’t even take you both to my favourite bar because that would be too indecent.’
Eliza sighed. ‘If you really are so afraid of being indecent just dump us. Anything that involves boys and girls is indecent, except when you close the door and have a high enough rating. Then it’s don’t ask, don't see stuff and you can do what you want, as long as you keep her more or less alive. And no-one bothers…’
‘Don’t disgust me. We went out together to have fun for once, so don’t remind me how miserable the whole thing with men and women is. And I certainly don’t need any closed doors. Being open and honest is enough to hack the system for now I’d say. Let’s just buy some bottles of Nation-Cola and go to the park. No segregation rules there.’ Michael said.
‘And by the way, you do look good, Megan.’
She smiled, but hesitated to answer. ‘Thanks, I think. And you too.’
Megan was still shy with compliments, and so was Michael, so he just nodded back.
‘And I look terrible. I know. I worked hard on that.’ Eliza broke the uneasy silence, but Michael wasn’t impressed by her little cosplay act.
‘Doesn’t matter, Lizzie. You look very cute too in your own way, like you always do.’
Now it was Eliza’s turn to blush, and Megan’s turn to protest.
‘Are you flirting with the chaperone already? That’s not pleasing to a Wife, you know.’
Michael threw his hands in the air. ‘Okay, I give up. Two girls at the same time is too much for me to handle. I haven’t seen one of your kind since I was five, remember. And never more than one at the same time.’
She chuckled. ‘I was just teasing, don’t be so tense. It’s new for all of us. We’re all are just figuring out how to be together, and you were more than right that finding out how to be friends with the other sex is something we need to do. I think we need that before anyone could ever think of marrying or so. This whole system is rotten to the core, and engineered to create toxic relationships in which people are the worst version of themselves possible.’
‘At least you girls get all kinds of classes on how to deal with a husband and stuff like this. All I’ve ever heard was that I would one day have a wife and that I would like it because I could be her boss.’ Michael said.
Eliza shrugged. ‘I think we’re all on our own together with that now, we’re outside of everything they ever taught us. But that shouldn’t be a problem, should it? We can figure it out together, and maybe try to find people to join if we find a better way. Do a little revolution or so. And then start the Unsegregation of the nation from this park to free all women and men from this nonsense.’
‘You’re going too fast for a first date, Eliza. And no revolutions before we had our first drink please. We need a bit of artificial caffeine to wake us up from this nightmare.’ Megan said.
They were almost at the small grocery store now, and Michael stopped.
‘I’ll go inside. They might react a bit weird if we go in together. You two stay here, and if anyone bothers you then you tell them your fiancee is a level one male who can be very possessive. It’s not even a lie.’
He went inside and the girls started whispering to each other. ‘Thanks for bringing me along, Megan, this is definitely getting interesting, and it’s fun even. I never thought being around a boy could be fun. But do you really think he finds me cute like this? That’s not how boys should react to my look. I went out of my way to go beyond the advanced techniques of courtship sabotage!’ ‘It’s quite clear that he isn’t repulsed by you in any way, so why not? He’s quite honest when he’s not messing around. He’s not even wrong, you are rather cute in your own special way, even in that worst sweater of the universe style with complimentary hair-monster on your head.’
‘Why then did we get all those be-pretty-or-your-husband-will-cheat-on-you sermons from Miss Hunter? If I can make a boy like me by walking around like a half-fossilised zombie, all of that doesn’t make any sense.’
‘Don’t get carried away, It’s not like you’ve seduced him or so. That’s not how he likes you. He still just sees you as his friend and he probably likes you no matter what anyway because of that, just be yourself. You’re his only female contact that wasn’t his mother before me in his life, or something like that. You have the advantage here.’
‘And still he chose you. He was too scared of me. Don’t forget that.’
‘Who wouldn’t with that anger in your eyes and that dark aura that you had around you? You were quite angry at anything male at that point, and I can’t even blame you. Never seen such a bunch of sex-crazed unmannered baboons before like those other boys that day. He was just the wrong guy at the wrong moment to come in with them, and ended up as collateral damage of that situation. And so missed the best match.’
‘And I keep saying it’s okay that he chose you. This is already beyond my comfort zone. And he’s right that you do look great today, Megan. I would never be able to make myself pretty like that. I don’t think any E-girl ever made herself pretty like that before even. You really are perfect for a date in a way that no-one has ever seen on the lower floors.’
‘What are two unguarded girls doing here?’
An unpleasant-looking young man had appeared out of nowhere. Eliza placed herself in between Megan and the boy and summoned the scary look from the Ceremony night again.
‘I am her guardian, and she’s waiting for her man to come. Engaged to a level one male, she is.’
He looked from her hair to her clothes, ignoring her eyes, and then backed off with a bit of fear in his eyes.
‘Oh, calm, miss, I was only asking questions.’
‘So what is your problem, dude? Have anything to say?’ Eliza said, pointing her finger very close to his nose.
‘Nothing, Miss.’ The boy was clearly confused about a girl who spoke back to him in this way, and very uncomfortable by her invading his personal space.
‘Then next time you address a woman, be more respectful, my dear boy. She might kick you somewhere where it’s painful.’
‘Okay, miss.’
The boy seemed to have shrunken to half his size, and appeared to be looking for a way out of the conversation.
‘This is the point where you walk on and forget whatever you wanted to say to us, and go on and enjoy the rest of your day, my dear boy.’ Eliza said.
He nodded a subservient yes and then disappeared as fast as he could.
‘What has just happened?’ Megan asked.
‘Oh, nothing. But your fiancée is right. Too much segregation between the sexes doesn’t help anyone and only makes people hopeless in dealing with each other. The poor guy had no chance against my superior communication skills. And look, if you speak of the devil…’
Michael arrived with the drinks. ‘So, nothing happened while I was gone?’ He asked.
‘Well, there was that one weird guy, but Eliza scared him away with her great personality and communication skills. That’s another boy who’ll dream of her forever…’
‘Hey, he was irritating, and he could have been a harasser. Self-defence is important for a woman. And I only used words to ward him off anyway, I didn’t even touch him. Yuck… The idea alone…’ Eliza said.
‘Well, he’s gone now, come, let’s go to the park.’ Megan said.
They arrived at an empty park with yellowish lawns and an unhealthy-looking tree here and there.
‘Ah, the glorious state parks of The Nation. What a Magnificent sight, isn’t it.’ Eliza said, but no-one replied.
‘Let’s take the bench. There’s no sex segregation sign anywhere so we’re cool I think.’
‘Okay, lead us, great man with the great plan.’ Megan said with playful submissiveness.
‘So, tell me again how does this first date thing officially work? And unofficially?’ He asked.
‘Officially you’re fine I think, except for the flirting with the chaperone maybe. You hang out somewhere to get to know each other I suppose. Nevermind that such a thing is quite impossible with so much sex segregation. Unofficially, well, let’s say that it can happen that the boy just tries whatever he has in his dirty mind after ditching the chaperone. We’ve been warned that is what happens in 75% of those first dates. The percentage is higher for later dates even’
‘Ah, Wow. Really? How come I’ve been naive again? I thought people just followed the official version that’s on the papers. But again it seems like following the official version never gets you anywhere in this Glorious Nation…’
‘Be a Real Man! Be nonverbal. Don’t listen to the words! Follow your impulses! Have no emotions except for anger! They have not been conditioned at all…’ Eliza said.
‘Probably my problem is that I think about stuff, and take the words seriously. And not just do and copy the other doers. So I listen to the instructions and start to think… And then my conclusions are something completely different from the other boys. And I’m suddenly not acting like a Real Man anymore.’
‘Both your instincts and your rational sides keep you from being a Real Man. Good catch for any Nation girl… But relax! You’re always so serious. Let’s not think about hard stuff now and sit in the sun under the trees and watch the sparrows in peace. I’ve never had many opportunities to do that, and now we even have a man to defend us, real or not.’ Megan said.
‘Yeah, this is lame for a patch of nature, but better than the flower garden of the E-quarters in school. It seems someone has forgotten that we’re technically supposed to learn to tend a garden like a sexy flower fairy, or maybe they don’t think husbands of E-class wives care about flower gardens…’ ‘
That actually sounds interesting, taking care of plants.’
‘It’s one of the more relaxing classes we have.’ Megan said dismissively.
For a while they sat together, listening to the twittering birds and looking at the white butterflies that were lazily flying from flower to flower. The park was rather empty today, and for a while they didn’t meet many people, except for an old man who gave the trio a very dirty look. A boy hanging out with girls in public was quite indecent, especially if they were casually laughing and drinking Nation-cola and not doing something specific. But when Eliza addressed him and asked whether she knew him from somewhere, he turned pale and disappeared.
‘They act like I have some dangerous contagious disease. I don’t even need my E-28 score to keep them away.’
She said, rather satisfied. Megan shook her head in disbelief of the variety of her friend's anti-male tactics, which all seemed equally effective against men, except then for the one specimen they had brought themselves. She had studied "The basics of advanced courtship sabotage" well, but she had met an opponent on which it didn’t work at all. But with him that wouldn't be a problem at all.
‘Look, a blackbird.’ Michael interrupted, and they watched the bird together.
It didn’t mind being stared at while pulling an unfortunate worm out of the lawn.
‘It’s the early bird that gets the worm, they say.’ Said Megan.
‘I’d say It’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird.’ Eliza countered.
‘It’s not even early.’ Michael remarked
It was Eliza who needed to have the last word, ‘But for the worm it’s too late anyway.’
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