I loathe the world.

I loathe everything about it.

I loathe the way it works, I loathe how it treats its inhabitants, I loathe its own inhabitants.

And most of all...

I loathe the god that created everything, the god that watched as everything transpired, the god that watched as everything fell into chaos, the god that watched as millions of lives perished in an instant, the god that didn’t cast its gaze upon the world even to the last minute.

I loathe him.

That is why I have decided to change this loathsome world.

A mission fueled only by my spite for the gods and my yearning for a better future.

From the most basic to the most complicated; wars between borders, uncontrollable famine, political agendas, slavery, poverty, and more…

Everything I loathe I fixed it.

As I came to the realization that the gods that the people have revered for millennials will not bat an eye, that I will do it myself, I’ll change this world I loathe to something more lovable to something more livable not catered towards the strong and not for the weak.

A fair balance.

And I managed to do it, after 38 years of trial and error I’ve achieved it! A world under one banner, a world that I can finally see as something amazing. A world where my sisters and brothers can live peacefully.

...yet why?

Why?!

Why am I lying like this?!

Bleeding from a sword impaled in my abdomen by the siblings and families I’ve sworn to protect and give a happy life.

I did everything I could to make all of you lots have a perfect life!

Even going as far as forgiving every transgression and failure you have done under my wing!

Every last one of you has been equally rewarded for your efforts!

So…

[....why?..]

Reaching for them in a vain attempt to get an answer, I hold out my hand.

Holding out that flickering hope for salvation that is slowly burning away.

[Oh...it seems that our empress here is still alive. Oh right....you must be wondering why right? Well, let’s just say you just became too powerful my Dear Sister. You have the world under your thumb and you dare not share such authority among us, isn’t that quite greedy of you Sister Eris?]

Is that the reason for this betrayal?

A simple petty greed for power?

If you want something a mouth is given to you to ask if it’s not given by just asking then the hands you have there could have earned it by effort and trust.

Yet you relied on such drastic measures, initiating a Coup d'état in my own estates shedding the blood of my knights and my people for a greed that will wither with time.

Breaking everything I have built up for years in my entirety, this palace, this peace, these faces, these people all sullied by your desires!

You people disgust me!

[I-impudents....]

[Is that all you have left to say? Then this is our last farewell then Eris Scotus! Goodbye Dearest Sister!]

I strained my face in disgust and despair, the gladdened face of my family the last thing I saw as the blade cut through my neck and down my chest killing me almost instantly.

At the end of this long life of mine I still....loathe this world and everything in it.

……

[...Huh?]

[Where am I?]

[What….happened to me?]

White, white is all I can see. A never-ending nothingness is filling my vision.

The only thing I can see is a blank slate of the white void, filled with nothing yet filled with everything at the same time.

Baffled by what I’m seeing I tried blinking a few times but to no avail. As I quickly noticed that I can't blink nor feel that I have eyes, to begin with. I started to panic as fear slowly crawled up my spine.

Slowly as seconds that feel like minutes pass by my memories become clearer, bit by bit everything that happened from the moment my room was seized by multiple armed men to my last memories where I was stabbed and killed by my siblings.

[My memories are still hazy but it’s fine, I have to calm down first.]

I tried moving my body in an effort to stand up and look at my surroundings, but to my grim realization my whole body wouldn’t move, No, It feels more like my entire body isn’t there, to begin with.

[This is quite...unsettling.]

A few moments have passed,

After trying everything I could for almost an hour I sighed in defeat.

Despite losing control over my body, my heart has calmed down. I don't know if it's because of my current predicament or just the hopelessness that resulted from that.

As I ponder on about the situation my thoughts began to wander,

What am I doing here? Where am I? What is this place?

My mind raises those questions, but deep down I know the answer to those questions already,

[Hah…..I see this must be the afterlife.]

Though I expected myself to be put in the much more fiery one in all honesty.

After all, the peace I have acquired didn’t come without a cost.

Bloodshed and wars, loss of my trusted men and allies, unwanted casualties from civilians, and loved ones sent to an early grave.

Along with the chains of guilt and the ghost of my failures haunting my every living moment, I could exhaustively say that a price is indeed paid.

Looking back on my life, it was quite an eventful ride, I didn’t enjoy it but it was still a ride nonetheless.

Called by many names, fulfilled many roles, and satisfied many people yet this is what I get in the end?

A betrayal not from the parliament nor from the church pastors but from my own bloodline.

A betrayal more painful that even the largest wounds and bruises from my battles pale to compare, the pain that will not subside with just bandage and medicines.

A pain that won’t stop throbbing from this chest of mine, A pain that won’t seize nor stop, continuing constricting my chest and clogging my breath at every moment's notice.

Why? Just why did it come to this? Everything I have lost, was taken by the people I expected and trusted the most.

It’s painful, I can’t breathe, I want to breathe but I can’t feel my chest, I want to cry yet no tears fell.

It’s a regrettable end, I wanted peace in this loathsome world. I thought I’ve gotten it yet, but in the end, the world didn’t really change, In the end, nothing has changed at all. Nothing.

Frustration, Distraught, Despair, Regret, Anger, Self-Doubt all of these things bubbling up in my core yet unable to let go nor let out.

In the end, I still loathe myself.

『Oh don’t be too hard on yourself Empress Eris』

[Wha?! Is that a voice?]

In the middle of my self-deprecating thoughts a voice cut in like a knife to a butter, shaken and confused I looked around and found nothing but just the empty white void again.

[Am I finally going mad?]

『I’m afraid you’re not.』

There it is again the voice, coming from somewhere yet nowhere, someplace close but sound far? My hearing is in a total mess as I try to discern where the voice is coming from.

『Come on now, where am I doesn’t really matter right now does it? So would you please lend me your unbroken attention just for a little time Empress?』

Getting a bad feeling from the sudden intonation and request I calmed myself and decided to entertain the voice seeing I have no choice.

[I take it that you’re a god of some sort?]

『Still perceptive and quick in things, I guess you didn’t have any brain damage in you.』

What’s with that condescending tone?

But to meet God in my death, how fitting, I guess I've accomplished everything in my life then.

I've got so many questions that I decided to set aside for now as I have a divine being in front of me.

I might hate them with every fiber in my body but still, I know angering them is a stupid thing to do that is quite closer to a death wish.

[And Why did a “god” such as yourself come here to be exact? To mock me? To laugh at me? Or Give me a fate that is worse than death? Mind if you tell?]

『You really hate the gods don’t you.』

[If you’re really a god then you must know why I loathe you guys so much.]

A long silence befalls both of us after that statement. Despite the void of nothingness, I can feel a hint of dissatisfaction from the being in front.

『I’m afraid it will be hard to explain everything in our current state, A change of setting is a need』

[What—khk!]

After a long silence, the voice returned with a reply or rather just a decision, unable to understand the meaning behind those words I tried to question the voice but was stopped as a flashing shine of bright blue light emerged in view engulfing everything in my vision.

As seconds passed I suddenly could feel my body again, surprised I opened my eyes.

Looking down I could see both my arms and legs again, testing both of them I closed and opened my hand and jumped with my legs.

[Still works.]

Letting out a sigh of relief for the return of my body, I turned my head towards the man standing quietly in front, seemingly floating in the void.

Now that I look at my surroundings I too as well am floating in the void.

[Just what in the world is this place.]

Focusing my full attention on the man in front I began to examine him with curiosity in mind.

His clothing is elegant in both literal and metaphorical sense, wearing a golden shirt along with golden gloves and golden shoes, a double-breasted white long coat with a cutaway front, a golden tie, and finally, golden flower ornaments artistically spread across.

His golden hair shone despite lacking a light where it could get the shine from and his deep blue eyes stared with an amused look.

Everything about him screams the word divine, even I have to accept that, his mere presence suffocates my whole being.

[So....—]

『Chronos, I go by the name Chronos, Please call me that.』

[...Then Chronos, what did you bring me here? I doubt it’s for chit chats and based on your initial reaction I guess mocking me is crossed out as well.]

[So tell me then why did you bring me here?]

Retaining a still respectful accent to hide my scorn, I waited for his reply.

I really doubt they came here to congratulate me, In fact, they most likely came here to punish me for my insolence throughout the years.

And hearing his answer I just let out a weary sigh.

『Merely doing a favor I was asked to do, for you see I was tasked to cleanse your soul for you never be reborn nor be reincarnated ever again.』

Heh, Did I really break many boundaries available to achieve such punishment?

At this point I’m torn between being proud or just mad at the special treatment I have been given.

Such punishment would surely be painful but what would a dead person like me even be supposed to do, I’m not a child to not accept losses when it’s plainly obvious.

『That is why I will fake your cleansing due to my acceptance of the favor.』

[Fine, let’s get this cleansing ritu—Eh?......mind if you repeat that I think I misheard.]

I must’ve misheard.

Fake cleansing?

Favor from someone?

『It is just I said, Instead of cleansing I would be reincarnating you to another world.』

Wait, this is all too fast. Going into another world, fake cleansing, someone’s favor?

Is this a proposition to continue living on?

Do I have the right to do such a thing?

I was just killed before this by my own family. I don't have enough time nor patience for this farce.

Holding my head to grasp the sudden drop of information, I slowly raised my head and glared at the man standing in front.

[I don’t know if you’re aware of this but I’m not too fond of jokes such as this.]

This proposition of continuing a cut life is definitely a very enticing offer but for it to be offered just out of nowhere with no good solid reason to back is already a bad sign.

Especially from these “divine beings”, there is nothing free in this world which is why this offer is too dangerous and ambiguous to accept.

Approaching the man slowly, a sudden burst of energy flew me around slowly forming a dice of some sort.

『Let’s see who's joking after this Empress Eris』

Tch! What is this? I tried kicking it to no avail, punching came to no fruition as well. It seems whatever is this cube doesn’t take any kind of damage or my physical prowess just doesn’t compare to that of a god.

I guess this is truly a power held by divine beings.

After trying to force myself out of the cube for a while the cube size shrinks gradually to the point that my movement is restricted with only a few limbs still movable.

[Tch! Get me out of here in this instant!]

『Have a safe journey, Eris』

Waving goodbye with a large smile the cube started to shrink more and more to the point it has started to crush my body in different ways but the pain that should come with it is nowhere.

I can’t move, I can’t escape, Am I really being transported to another world?

Before my thoughts can go any further the cube has gotten so small that the only thing left on my body is my head still fully functioning despite the clear lack of body.

And with only my mouth left to move, I shouted at the amused god.

[Khk! I’ll get you for this Chronos!]

………….

『And there she goes....』

『...It seems that Eris hasn’t changed even one bit, still scary yet still cute as well.』

『I just hoped she doesn’t lose her way this time around.....but then again such wishful thinking doesn't really bear any fruit especially if it’s about her.』

『She is, after all, Chaos Incarnate.』

Cold.

So Cold.

Am I drowning?

My body feels like it was in deep water, I can't move anything.

No...it’s starting to warm up...I can move now.

What happened to me?

Unexpectedly a warm tender arm caresses my face, my whole face to be exact, I tried to open my mouth yet only an unintelligible noise came out.

[Ughhh....]

What a weird feeling.

Gradually my consciousness slowly resurfaced, and along with my blurry vision vague shapes and multiple outlines bombarded my retinas.

Taking my time slowly for my eyes to adapt to my surroundings I was greeted by what seemed to be a white ceiling, opening my eyes more the first human being my eyes have laid to is a woman with long disheveled white hair, her deep ocean eyes reflecting a tender caring look and along with it were tears dripping.

She’s crying? Why? Wait, What am I doing here? Aren’t I sup—Oh!....it seems that I might have let that one slip.

But I remembered a bit of who I am now, I’ve been reincarnated because of that God named Chronos.

As much as I want to ignore those fantasy things, it seems that I can’t as I just got reincarnated a few seconds ago.

I guess...I know now where that feeling of cold and warmth came from. I really feel icky right now to touch anything.

And this woman in front of me is most likely...my mother.

Upon seeing her the first thought in my mind is beautiful. Even with unkempt hair and a tired face full of tears and sweat, her beauty didn’t waver even one bit.

Glancing around the room maids and doctors are also crying upon my birth, is this how it feels to have a child?

I honestly wouldn't know.

As back in my previous life I didn't really entertain the romance aspect of life, I was so focused on my goal that I've just brushed away any potential husband and more so picked quite a different route in terms of romance.

Peering my face to my left I quickly find it odd that there's no man that I could call the father around.

Is he busy or couldn't just care?

Honestly, if he couldn’t even be there for his wife during the birth of their daughter then I have low expectations for him to be a great father.

I guess things will be the same...

“Hmmm...this is odd she won't cry.” amidst my thoughts, one of the maids queried her thoughts out loud.

Noticing my silence, the joy in their faces suddenly turned to worries as they all rushed towards my mother's bedside checking on my well-being.

Ah, I've forgotten I'm supposed to be a newborn at the moment.

Realizing a slight blunder from my silence I swallowed my pride for now and cried.

I cried as loud and as much as I wanted, I thought faking a cry would be hard but with all the things that happened to me, it became easier than I imagined.

The betrayal from my family, the loss of all my dreams, the accomplishment that I have tallied up have all gone down the drain.

I'm back. Yet now with nothing but myself.

Once again I’m all alone.

So I cried like a child that has lost its toy. After 38 years of nothing but pain and hardship, I finally cried again just not the way I expected it to happen.

“Hush...now, everything is fine mama is here with you.”

With a gentle embrace of my new mother, a cathartic fuzzy feeling bloomed in my chest.

Can I really start over like this?

I really don't know the answer to that question but the embrace I was in right now is something I shouldn't question and an embrace I've forgotten what felt like for a long time.

A mother's embrace.

Succumbing to the warmth of my new mother, my mind gradually fell to the call of sleep.