As I finally, no, finally reached home, I instantly plopped on the sofa and turned on the TV like the lazy asshole I am, completely ignoring the fact the note that was on the table nearby.

Skipping through the channels, I landed on a news report. As always, they were exxagerating things like crazy, but it still made me proud. After all, they were showcasing my work.

To cut it short, a new gang rose up, they decimated a hero group (they didn't say anything about the ambush...) and they claimed a huge portion of the city, quickly wiping out all opposition. This would normally never be put on the news, as it would be hard, but since the gang made a huge announcement (read: I did), the reporters took advantage of that.

Useless blabber aside, it was hard to get those guys to work properly under my command. Well, not exactly, but it's as some saying... not sure which, but I'm sure there's one that says 'A sovreign reigns, s/he doesn't govern', so I'm good. Probably.

They were pretty stubborn little shits. After the first group got under my rule, I mobilized them and used them to gather more subordinates, with my help of course, and then just snowballed my way through that whole area. Technically, it shouldn't be easy, but when you got their souls under your thumb and there's nothing they can do about it, well, it becomes a hell of a lot easier.

Now, I have some good 40 supers under my thumb, some strong and some less, but that's not what's important. I finally have some 'grunt infantry' as they call it in games. Cannon fodder of sorts, and man is there a lot of them.

Why am I doing this? Cause I have nothing else to do. Why don't I be the good guy? Ever tried making a dog stand up on two legs and make a public speech? That's the feeling being the good girl gives me.

Naturally, everything happened under my 'Maniac' persona, and I made it pretty clear what happends to whoever dares to try rebelling/escaping/disobeying/spying me. By now, those people would rather die then do anything that displeases me. Scaredy cats, truly. They know there's no escape, so they simply try their hardest to win. Sort of ironic since they should always be doing that.

My only concern is that when I'm not there, it'll be hard to keep them in check. Sure, they won't try anything funny, but they aren't the smartest people around. No ruler = no order, and I'm definetly a no-good ruler. Problems, problems.

After a couple more hours of brooding and watching random shows, the door opened and a man stepped in. Obviously, I didn't even need to turn to know who it was. I waved at him using my tail since my legs were too comfortable and my hands were occupied changing channels and munching on a chocolate bar.

He sighed and said in a semi-resigned and semi-teasing tone "You didn't read the note, did you?"

"Hmm?" I turned at him with a confused look before remembering the paper on the table. Grabbing it really quickly, although I had to put down my chocolate, I passed my eyes over it before turning towards him with extra-wide eyes.

"... What is this?" I asked, unsure if I was interpreting this thing correctly. He sighed and began explaining.

"It was an idea that came to my mind whilst I was doing all the heroic stuff. Well, to cut the sugar short, I'd like to stage a huge fight involving our two groups. I know you've been building one, and so have I, although our methods are certainly... different? Anyways, the gist of it is that we fight a whole bunch, tear down this city, then I rebuild it much better. Of course, the casualties will include all the people in power, so when they see me as their savior, I get all the power in this region. Obviously, you benefit from this too. Your reputation will soar, plus, I can give you power in the shadows and other privileges if I come in power. I mean, what's losing a couple hundred normals and some supers compared to that?" He asked with a smirk.

"That's... I don't know... I mean, it sounds great and all... but... aren't you, like, supposed to be God? Like, all-benevolent and stuff?" I asked with a complicated expression.

His face went blank before he burst out laughing crazily. So crazily, in fact, that he almost fell down laughing.

After he finally stopped, ignoring my pouting, he claimed "Haha... No, there's no way that's true. The image of all-benevolent is an illusion created by others. I only care about three things, the multiverse's well-being, my life and last but not least, fun. What's a mere city compared to having fun?" He said, almost sounding serious.

"Uuu, still, I'm supposed to be the bad guy here you know?" I said whilst lightly kicking my legs randomly. He smiled and patted my head a bit before adding "I'll add a couple chocolate treats to the whole thing. Agreed?"

"You have a deal!" I immediately said without any of the previous hesitation. What? I'm easily manipulated? What's a bit of manipulation compared to chocolate? And not just any chocolate, but God's chocolate. I salivate at the mere thought of it. Wait, that sounded... wrong? Nah, must be my imagination. The only wrong in this world is wasted food and boredom.

Ignoring my internal debate, or simply not noticing it, God sat down at a table and began scribbling on something. Seeing him doing something so... normal? No... mortal? NMortal? Nomal? Monal? I mean, seeing him doing something without using all of his powers n' stuff got me confused.

I went over to him and peeked from above his shoulder at the stuff he was writing. It seemed like a report, full of sugar and rainbows, but still a professional report.

"What's this?" I asked him. Without stopping his work, he simply answered "A report."

Puffing up my cheeks, I leaned my head down until it rested on his shoulders and poked him from behind. "I know that, what I mean is, why are you doing this? Why not simply make illusions or bend reality to make them believe you anyway? You can do that sorta stuff, right?"

Sighing (I get the feeling he does that a lot lately), He said "Haah, Alysha, the most primitive of things is more often then not, the fun way of doing things. If I simply make everything go the way I want it to, what would I ever do?"

Not understanding his train of thoughts, I chimed in "But wouldn't it be more fun if everything went like you want it to? I mean, where's the fun in failing or suprises?"

Lightly bonking my head, he began explaining "Whilst it's hard to understand this unless you too are semi-omnipotent, I think that with you, it's not hard."

"So explain?" I asked after hearing his silence.

"It's simply... impossible." He added with a bata-tump in the background.

"That was NOT funny at all." I said in a monotone voice, tempted to bite his neck off. Still I didn't for some reason. Might just be me being too lazy to move from the comfy position I was in.

He shrugged whilst saying "I tried. Everybody tells me my sense of humor is non-existent for some reason. Which is ironic if you ask me, since I know all jokes that have ever existed."

Smiling evilly, I began lecturing "Jokes and sense of humor are two different things. You can have jokes without humor and you can have humor without jokes. Also, whose the 'everyone'? Oh wait, I know! Was it Daniel Whodoesntexist?" I said with a laugh at the end. He ignored me and kept on scribbling on his stupid paper. Don't ignore me damnit!

"Don't ignore me you bully!" I pleaded, earning a small chuckle and a mean comment. "Where's all the swearing gone?"

Pursuing my lips, I said "Well, I thought... Well... you know..." I didn't quite wanna explain it, but he simply said "You thought that since I never swear you shouldn't either?"

"Uuh... kinda? Maybe? Possibly? I said shily. He laughed and said "Don't play the innocent type. I know you're just trying to curry favor here. Just be yourself, I don't swear since I don't feel need to."

"Hey! I'm not!" I cried out, but he ignored me and got up, lightly pushing my head away from his shoulders before going out, paper in hand. "Ah well, I was just gonna come here to check if you read the paper and do this thing. I should go now. Also, it's not like you have any friends either, so we're both in the same situation." He added at the end. I felt an invisible arrow pierce my heart. And cupid wasn't the sender.

"Uuuuh... You'll see! I have friends!! In the future!" I shouted after him, but there was no response. Huffing in annoyance, I began mumbling incoherently "I have friends... I mean, my slaves are also friends right?... nah... I want a friend... Is God a friend? A rival? Meh..." I clicked my tongue at him for making me go through this internal war.

By the end of it, I decided to get a friend! Easy to say, easy to do. How to do so? Just summon one!

Rushing into my room, I took out a blood-red chalk and began scribbling strange runes on the floor here and there. Then, after that was done, I went outside for a second before returning with a sufficiently good-looking man (still shit compared to God) who had pleasantly volunteered for the summoning. The fact that he was unconscious will be left out.

Putting the man in the circle, I activated the various runes. Soon, the man began screaming blood-curlingly and also started spasming uncontrollably.

After a minute or so of this, he caught on fire and his body was burned down to ahses. Then, said ashes began to gather up and formed a humanoid shape with wings, horns and tail.

Then, the ashes finally formed up the demon. Suprisingly, a lust demon came out. Well, it shouldn't be that suprising, but I was expecting either a wrath or gluttony demon since that man seemed to be quite the sinner. Still, it's not a bad suprise. Probably meant that the man was a sexual offender though, as the demon that comes out depends on the sacrifice.

The demonness with overly big titties and ass licked her lips before saying "Hello~, you should be my summoner. How wonderful that such a pretty thing like you can be my master~." She said in a sweet tone. I acted shy and said with a stutter "H-hello miss demon! I am Alysha a-and I would like a friend!"

She raised an eyebrow and said "A friend~? My, the cute one we have here. Sure, I'll be your friend~, but you see, us demons have a very, very~ strict friendship code where we must sign a contract that bonds two people together~. Since you're my master, I will do it~..." She said, putting up a suffering air. Inside, I was laughing maniacally at the pathetic attempt. Hell, I could sign the contract, but what would most likely happend would be that my soul, a.k.a my core, would simply devour her until nothing remains.

"I-I... Dad said that I shouldn't sign deals with people though..." I said even more shily. "Ah well~, you see, sweety..."

Before she could continue, I felt strangely angered "Who're you calling sweety, you shitty sex slave? Know your place, you cock-sucking bitch. Or perhaps I should just kill you?" I said with an extremely warped expression. Although I was unsure why, I felt like torturing this bitch brutally. Eh, when confronting my own feelings, just accept them. Why bother with 'why'. That'll just ruin your life.

Now it was her turn to stutter "A-ah, I-I didn't..." But before she could continue, I was already behind her. She froze in place and didn't dare move.

My hand slowly passed around her body before settling on her gigantic breasts. "You see... There are not many things that make me angry... very angry... But... I think I just found one... You know, I like my own body. I'm pretty hot, if I may so myself... But... It feels strangely... lacking..." I said as I began to squeeze at her breast. I continued speaking "This lead me to feel quite angry at those big-titted bitches that always roam around... I'm not sure why myself though, but... Ah, who am I kidding? I'm jealous of your nice hourglass figure..." I whispered in her ears before my hand closed completely. Boob and all.

Blood splattered everywhere and the demoness screamed in pain... and pleasure? Seeing her regenerating quite quickly, flesh appearing at a speed even visible to the human eye, my smile widened. This would be a very, very fun night. After all, friends must have fun together, right? But who said that both of them do?

As I crouched down next to her, her body spasming and screaming, I put my hand on her mouth and said lightly "What's your name... friend?"

Her eyes held a mix of terror and expectation. "S-shia..." She said, and I simply responded "Well, my friend Shia, we are going to spend a long, long time together? So why not get to know each other better? For example, I'm quite curious about what's inside you..."

Screams resounded through the house for the following day. I claim innocence, judge!