《Blue Screen Blues》B2 Chapter 81: "The Tank With No Pants"
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Upon Teleporting back over to the mainland in Staug city, Ryan who was beat up still from his encounter with the Disturbia Anarchy, Rolls his eyes at the city walls in front of him. As he walks inside the city gates the guards gasp at the sight of Breanna and watch her just walk right on through. Sheriff Warren who was outside talking to a local paint maker drinking his coffee sees Breanna encased in the middle of a formation of Ryan’s friends and puts down his coffee. He looks around to see if the Official’s minions are near and darts over to them.
“Breanna, you shouldn’t be here” He warns her while scanning around him and looking back and forth quickly.
“She’s here to surrender” Liz says calmly and professionally.
Warren then quickly barges into the group and gets behind her and grabs her by her arms and gently but firmly drags her toward the jail. He was doing this in such a manner that this “Arrest” appeared to be less of an “Arrest” and more of a protective march toward the jail.
Warren was terrified of what the Officials wanted to do if they ever caught her and quickly whisked her off toward the jail in a hurry for her own protection. The others stood by her side all through the march down through the town.
The Locals who witnessed her and her friends escorting her all the way down to the jail, salute or send a gesture of respect for Breanna. Upon reaching inside the jail, the lead corrupted official was there sitting in Warren’s chair patiently waiting for them with his hands interlaced.
“Warren don’t even think about putting that animal in that cage. I’m extraditing her immediately” He orders while clapping his hands. His royal teleport mage who was waiting outside then jumps in and attempts to forcefully grab her hand. Zephyr quickly blocks his access to her with her arm and pulls out a dagger.
“Don’t even think about it!” Zephyr yells at the slick Teleport mage. She then pushes him out the door.
The Lead corrupted official looks at Zephyr and can’t believe Zephyr just foiled his quick kidnapping scheme of Breanna. He looks at her dagger drawn and looks at Warren.
“Warren Arrest Her! Arrest her for assaulting my Royal mage and brandishing a weapon inside a government building!” He cries at Warren.
Warren rolls his eyes at Zephyr and looks at her feeling demeaned and embarrassed at her.
“Oh, come on Zephyr! Why’d you have to do something like that! You know I have to arrest you for that now, right?” He tells her while opening up the jail cell beside him.
Zephyr rolls her head at the Official and sends him a threating glare.
“I am aware buddy. You better place me in the same cell as Breanna” she says while placing both her daggers on the table gently. She then grabs Breanna’s arm and pulls her into the cell with her and shuts the cage behind her.
The Official who was mad and throwing a fit then balls his fist at Zephyr.
“You… You get out of there right now. You are going to pay for what you have done!” He threatens Breanna.
Liz steps in immediately after he says that.
“Nice try man, but She’s not being extradited back to Deland. The murders occurred in MY state in MY jurisdiction. So, she gets a FAIR trial here by her fellow peers.” She tells the official with an authoritative tone.
“You stay out of this!” He screams at Liz.
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Liz gets angry and postures up to him while getting right in his face.
“YOU DON’T DISSRESPECT ME! I AM NOT LAKE I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR LITTLE CHILDISH HISSY FITS! BREANNA STAYS HERE! SHES INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!” she screams back in his face with such anger that saliva droplets were flying from her mouth onto his face.
“Darling you don’t disrespect me. I am double your age, and I have more power than you think!” He screams back at her trying to get ahead in this argument.
Now annoyed he has tried to use the “Age” card with her, Liz walks over to the jail cell and opens it up.
“Oh, really now? Okay” she says while looking at Zephyr with a mischievous smile.
“Zephyr, with the power invested in me on behalf of the queen I hereby acquit you of all recent charges. You are free to go and do whatever you are pleased” she tells her. Zephyr smiles at her and walks out of the jail cell and shoulder bashes the official right in the mouth knocking him down. She then kicks him in the groin.
Highly Amused, Liz then looks at Zephyr and says: “Oh Come on now Zephyr, you know better than to assault an “Elite” government official” she says sarcastically while bending her two fingers and making a quotation gesture. “You are now under arrest again. Get back in the jail cell, Silly.” She says playfully. Zephyr plays along and reenters the jail cell and shuts the door.
“You fucking bitch!” The man shouts while spitting out a tooth.
He gets up off the floor and Liz smiles at him and says “You know what, I think you learned you lesson. Zephyr you are acquitted of all charges again, you are free to go again” Liz says playfully while opening up the door again.
Zephyr then dashes out and grabs the man by his neck and slams his bloody mouth against the door. Zephyr is then forcefully detained by Warren and thrown back into the cell again with a forceful slam of the jail cell door.
“You know what Zephyr; you are out of control. You better stay here for a couple of days. You better sit here and learn your lesson before returning back to society” Liz playfully orders Zephyr with a wink.
The wounded official who just now learned a painful lesson on insulting Liz in front of her friends then makes a death glare at Liz and Breanna, he then proceeds to leave the building quickly with a bad limp.
“I see what you are doing Hawthorn!! We’ll get your friend in our custody, one way or another! Your little stunt won’t protect HER or this TOWN forever. We got a little surprise awaiting you all in a few days!” The man threatens out loud on his way out the door.
Sherriff Warren who looked really disappointed at Liz and Zephyr throws his hands up and sits down in his “Disappointed” Chair next to the jail cell. As he sits down the official that was limping outside walks by Arcadia, who now had white-blonde hair, hazel eyes no flaming Tierra on, stood there innocently rubbing a cheap blue orbed staff while peering into the building pretending to wonder what the ruckus was about, along with 3 other nosey citizens who were right by the jail. She blended in just right out of sight and eavesdropped on this lead official’s conversation with his teleportation mage and also listened to everything that was going on inside the jail too.
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“What the hell is that supposed to mean? You know what, Zephyr you need to stay here and protect Breanna at all costs. I need to go see what they are scheming. But expect more Snatch and Teleport attempts later on” Liz warns them while getting ready to make her way out the building.
Arcadia who heard that from Liz quickly turns her attention to the men next to her.
“Teleport me back there! I’m going to tell Every single last one of them about this!” He demands to his Teleport mage. While pointing to his bloodied jaw. Arcadia who was innocently looking up at the sky and watching a bird land on a tree, she secretly turns toward the mage and walks by him and ever so carefully nudges him while simultaneously casting a spell on the mage. As they make contact Arcadia drops her cheap staff on the ground and it breaks as planned. The shatter distracts him from the faint blue hue that encircles him for a very brief second.
“Oh no! not again!” She cries as she drops to her knees. “Now I need to make another one!” She says sounding depressed as she starts kicking the glass into the pile. The mage who didn’t even care or notice anything turns to the official and without apologizing quickly teleports them out of the town. Arcadia who was kicking glass into the pile now stops and smiles. She then closes her eyes and inside her head she has the exact real time location of the mage right now.
As Liz walks out the building Arcadia smiles at Liz who currently was surprised by how thrown off guard she was by Arcadia’s disguise. As she makes eye contact with Arcadia she nods at her and they both start walking down the street.
“I put a tracker on that mage for good measure. He’s making his way toward New Boss City.” She whispers to Liz secretively.
“Good. Keep an eye on them. He just admitted they are up to something.” Liz says as she stops in her tracks and turns around.
Arcadia knowing Liz was probably under close surveillance randomly hands Liz her broken throw-a-way staff for no reason and starts walking out and away from the city. When she gets into the woods, she quickly teleports to the mage’s location with another altered appearance and keeps her distance.
She was in the middle of a town near its Well. She quickly hurries over to the bucket and lowers it down and pretends to act as if she was getting water. The teleport mage sees her and gets a little confused. To him he thinks he’s seen this girl before but having just travelled halfway up the world Her different hair color and hair cut makes him rule this hunch out. He turns to his beaten-up boss and escorts him to a building. Arcadia keeps her distance and attempts to stalk them carefully.
Meanwhile back over in Staug, Zephyr who was standing guard inside Breanna’s Cell was arguing with Warren over his “Duties” and Moral compass. Ryan who was hinted by Liz to get out of here with a confident point at the door looks at Zephyr and gives her a quick kiss through the bars, and a playful pat on the head. Playfully annoyed by him petting her she puts her hands on her hips and smirks at him. Liz walks out of the jail with Ryan and quickly sends him back to the house with her teleport spell.
At the house Ryan quickly reports back to Misty on everything that just happened today. As he explains what just happened to her a handful of his guests eavesdrop and listen and one of them chimes in.
“There is no way you jumped into a Volcano and made it explode” One of the bored men says doubtfully.
“Oh, in fact I did. The Royal Cheetoecchi painters even recorded my endeavor on canvas” Ryan assures him as he opens up his void storage vault and pulls out the picture. As he hands him the picture and walks away, the man couldn’t even believe his eyes.
Still Irritated from his legendary feat today, Ryan walks outside and he summons up a group of people to go run a dungeon with. He gets 4 people who are in the mood together and departs to the Aquifer dungeon with them. Halfway toward Blue Cove, the tank has a change of heart and chooses to go fishing instead of running through the dungeon.
Ryan who knew they could pick up a tank at the recruitment area near the mouth of the dungeon doesn’t sweat anything and assures his team things will be fine. When they get to the recruitment circle, He starts shouting: “Escort Run needs a Tank! Leaving in 5 minutes! Any tank with any gear accepted!” he shouts. A few people approach him and start asking questions.
Man 1 approaches him and asks him: “What does Escort run mean?”. Ryan replies with: “I’m Level 58. So, I’m here as a back up to make sure no one dies”
Man one then says: “Ahh No thanks. I’m here to level. I need as much Experience as I can get. You will just leach all of it out” he tells Ryan while walking away.
A well geared woman who was listening to his conversation hears the man’s response and agrees with him and walks away.
Next enters in a man who Ryan will forever be glad he met.
Next came a mess of a low level 8 Paladin. His gear was complete trash and mismatched. On Him he had a flimsy bronze chest plate on, raggedy leather shoes, a sock on one foot, and a 2 handed wooden hammer mace whose handle was held together with a buttload of duct tape. This man was so poor or down on his luck he couldn’t even afford pants. He had White tight briefs on, covering his junk, but that was about it.
The man who desperately looked like he needed a run or two was quickly chosen by Ryan without even saying anything.
“Get in line bud” Ryan tells the stranger.
Enter Austin, Another Dumpster Fire.
The Female healer and Ice mage in the group who were giggling at this sudden turn of events, gives Ryan the thumbs up and they all go through the mouth of the dungeon giggling.
Ryan who knew this tank had trash gear chooses to Carry everyone for 2 full runs through. For the first two runs Ryan kills everything in anger as a result for losing his Halo suit kit. Ryan rejects his cache of the loot, and everyone else chooses to keep what they needed and give Austin any tanking gear they happen to get. They did these two runs in pure silence, until the third Run.
The Ice Mage, The Dispersion priest, the Hunter, and Austin now all had a couple more levels and most of them now had Fair gear. All except Austin. He had Fair-ish gear. He had a steel 2 handed Mace, steel arm guards, shiny Steel boots, a shiny new chest plate and a really good quality combat helm. But still no pants.
Ryan turns to the healer and pulls her aside.
“You think you are able to cover him this run? I was going to let him pull and tank and let you all fight. Do you feel comfortable with him pulling with no pants on?” Ryan asks the woman.
“Yes. I am looking forward to this comical run. Let’s do it!” She says while hugging her staff tightly.
Ryan then turns to Austin and looks at him. He was in the middle of combing his Short blonde hair with his hands.
“Austin, you are tanking this run. Valentina is going to cover you. Are you ready for this?” Ryan asks him.
“Ready as I will ever be mate!” He replies in a natural Australian accent.
The hunter then steps forward appearing a little concerned.
“You sure about that man? Your Family Jewels are going to be exposed this whole run” The hunter says appearing concerned.
“Pants are over-rated mate. Now Let’s get too it” He shouts as he runs in. The rest of the team giggles and follows after him into the next room. Ryan relaxes and regenerates his mana as he watches his team function as a normal team.
45 minutes later, the team defeats the last boss with no problems and the loot drops. Austin gets a pair of pants, and the others get upgraded main weapons. However, Austin straight up refuses to put the pants on. Troubled by his choice, Ryan approaches him and asks what’s wrong.
“So, you’re not going to put your pants on?” Ryan asks him as he points to them on the ground.
“To be truthful Mate, I don’t like wearing pants. They restrict so much movement, and in the sun, they get so bloody damn hot. I prefer this style over anything else I tell you” He replies back to Ryan.
Ryan looks at Austin like he was Crazy and shakes his head.
“But come on man, what about your balls. I mean one good kick, Arrow, Spell or stab and that’s it” he says while pointing out the bulge in his undies.
“Nah man I Ain’t scared of getting hit in the cock mate. Anyone who hits me there got issues” He replies to Ryan.
Ryan steps away for a little bit feeling like this guy is a lost cause but looks at his guests and they appeared ready to go again.
Ryan looks back at Austin and says: “We will run one more time, I’ll stay back and make sure you are all okay. Then we will all head home” He announces to everyone.
Austin smiles and gets up.
“Ryan, Mate I Really want to thank you for taking care of me. Most people think I’m not worth running with, but I do really appreciate you taking the time to do this with me. I mean you are a true community hero. You look out for your mates, and in time I’m pretty sure your mates will always look after you. You are truly a good man” he says as he picks up his 2 Handed mace and runs in. Ryan rolls his eyes and walks in with them, and they go for another spin in the dungeon.
Austin holds his own again against Hugo and his laser blasts, and the skeletons and soaks up damage fearlessly throughout the run better then this last time. At the end of the run Ryan was happy everyone was 5 levels higher and a little better equipped than how he found them. He was also happy he didn’t have to deal with Trolling noobs this run as well.
As his team exits the cave and gets outside, He sees an even bigger crowd outside the recruitment section then there was 4 hours ago and looks at Austin.
He then shouts: “Hey everyone! This guy right here lost a bet!” He shouts while Grabbing Austin and putting him in a playful head lock and pointing to him. “For the 24 hours he’s gotta Tank with no pants on! We got to head out, but who wants to run with to run with this poor bastard who’s willing to honor a bet?” He shouts at the late-night partying crowd.
Suddenly a drunk Dwarf approaches Ryan and asks: “Is he a good tank?”
Ryan nods his head pushes Austin toward the Party leader and says: “He’s got balls of steel and Knows section 4 really well” Ryan replies to him.
“That’s great to hear laddie! We just finished Section 2 when our tank had to head out. His knowledge will come in handy when we go that route. Tell you what, you’re invited to join us” The dwarf says.
Austin looks at Ryan and smiles. He knew Ryan just went out of his way to set him up with another party, and he really appreciated that. When the dwarf hands Austin a Pint of beer that he just poured Austin takes it and nods at Ryan and guzzles it down with the Dwarf.
Ryan and his guests then walk away and head back home.
During the walk home everyone talks shit about Austin, but Ryan tries defending him. He tells everyone his story of Joseph, his last tank and how he was “Different” and appeared useless. But later how he turned out to be bombproof against magic. He told them don’t judge him. Upon Arriving home, Liz and Arcadia were waiting for him at the table with news.
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