《Smoke and Murders》All My Faults Part 2
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WARNING: Self harm, and bloody imagry.
Loukas’s mind drifted to the body of his aunt how she laid there, motionless, eyes that screamed out in their final moment as her skull was shattered by the bullet. He later that day once again vomited the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He felt so sick and disgusted.
He did not feel like facing anyone at the moment.
To look anyone in the eye and lie and fake sympathy over their loss and her disappearance was something he simply could not do now. He did not want to face the fact despite him hating himself for it, he could not bring himself to feel anything towards her. He could not bring himself to like her or regret what he had just done, other than it had hurt the people he loved.
He did however felt was that sick sense of enjoyment at her scream when the bullet finally went through her skull causing that red meat to spill out.
He was so disgusting...
She was right… They were all so very right…
Loukas then bit down on his wrist, deep enough to cause that part to bleed, and he kept going. He was somewhat aware of what he was doing at this point as his tongue tasted copper. He would never allow himself to complete those kinds of thoughts. He was not like that, he will never be like that.
He rolled back down his sleeves over the scared area of his wrists and went back to facing over the balcony watching the sunset.
One of the few things he could consistently enjoy, Ildens was a place, despite his dumb attempts as a kid and teen, he would never leave.
His mind drifted on his next course of action. Just keep his head low until he gets complete control of the corporation and then he would continue to be what his mother before had been...
The cult of Flesh and blood, despite him having his doubts about their Orbis and their intentions for him, was right. He was just a vessel for a monster, but that doesn’t mean he could not use a monster’s birthright to help others. This is for everyone's own good people just do not know what they truly need.
He knew his place even when…..…. even when he can no longer be the Loui they once knew.
He deserved no happy ending.
He’s then once again shifted his thoughts to his admittedly desperate and rushed alliance.
Those two probably must want nothing to do with him after all of this. Not that he blamed them, Carole, whatever his family did to her... He was sorry and he hopes the girl finds her happiness, same for Hide.
They would find happiness without him. He could bring nothing related to that term.
Loukas was fine with that. Something he learnt a while ago, and he was fine with it.
Think of the devil and he would come to you would be an accurate term for when Hide appeared behind him with an innocent smile and his arms behind his back. Loukas gave him the usual carefree smile of his own, betraying how he usually felt.
He doesn’t matter, no one should care about him in that way, anyway.
“There you are! I was afraid you ditched me and Carly or something cus you're too good for our asses,” of course he had to make it rude for no reason.
“Oh, n-no, I just wanted some time to myself, you know. It’s just been a lot…” which was true to an extent.
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Hide’s usual face of mischief had a vague hint of… concern as soon as Loukas turned to him.
“Okay, what happened to your nose and face while you disappeared?” Hide asked.
“Oh, I was just all clumsy and walked into a door, nothing too big,” Loukas lied.
He gripped the balcony anxiously as Hide seemed to analyze his face as he approached him closer and closer.
“Eh, whatever you say, overgrown carrot-top,” Hide himself began leaning over the balcony.
Although Loukas breathed a small sigh of relief in dodging further questions, did he have to still insult him?
Dealing with Hide feels like dealing with his younger brothers… at eight, frustrating and feels like you're chatting up a brick wall.
The two stood on the balcony in silence as they looked out at the slowly darkening sky. Despite the thick smog, Loukas can still see the city below with its lights and occasional colours under the stifling red.
It was beautiful on nights like this.
“So um... how’s Carole?” Loukas might as well ask. Their last encounter was not… pleasant. “I’m sorry for-”
Hide groaned and leaned further over the balcony, “First off she said to stop fucking apologising already, minus the fucking part. Or include it to loosen up already.” Hide then put up a second finger, “Also she said she’s fine, just tired and shit. She wanted to know if you’re okay.”
Loukas bit the inside of his cheek and chuckled, “Of Course I’m fine, just a little-” He couldn’t bring himself to continue and he swiftly changed the subject, “Oh yeah, that letter I sent you.”
“That love letter you sent me?” Hide’s flashed a taunting grin towards him.
“N-no, of course not." he stammered
That man kept embarrassing him, but at least Carole it was hard to tell when she was teasing on the rare occasion she does it.
“Loulou, stop that your face is already as red as your hair. oh yeah, it's orange so even redder,” the beast-kin continued to poke on.
“Wh-what I’m s-saying is-”
Come on, get a grip already, “I mean you don’t have to turn it in if you don't want to work here.”
Loukas gazed towards Ildens, “If you want to, you can turn it in for recommendation anywhere… even places outside Ilden’s in technology.”
Hide could leave. Loukas prepared himself for that Hide immediate excitement at this prospect as the man was very talented and-
“Nah I’m keeping this job.”
What?
“Excuse me?” Loukas wanted to make sure he was hearing this right.
“Well yeah,” Hide said casually, “Would piss off many people to see my ass still walking around. It’ll be awesome.”
Of course.
Loukas placed his head in his hand and asked, “So out of spite?”
Hide smirks back, “Hell yeah, spite is the greatest motivation.”
Loukas gave out a light laugh, “Don’t you have anyone out there you might need to meet? Enjoy their company.”
“Nah, most of those D-bags can live without me for all I care,” Hide muttered harshly, which took Loukas aback.
“Oh, I’m sorry about that, but you must have a family, right?”
Hide shrugs, “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Who gives a damn? I’m free to do whatever, I want when I want and that all that matters here.”
What a life to live.
Hide let out an exaggerated lament, “Well looks like you got it, I’m simply shocked by this too! Flabbergasted even! Fine. I don't have nor ever had something you can call a family. Put me on the cover of some shitty melodrama because I’m the tropey poor orphan boy. Woe is me.”
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He broke down laughing at his brief speech, that cackling laugh.
Loukas felt pity for the guy. He could, of course, be lying through his teeth again, but he was in a way so much like a kid at times. He does not fault him for it. In fact, he was rather envious of his confidence and attitude despite what he was and where he was.
Maybe he was just taking advantage of people who have little outside support. Loukas.... wasn't a good person.
“Now my fellow gentlemen. I should leave this realm instead of hogging the stage as a sad, sad or-”
Loukas patted Hide between his fluffy ears, interrupting his melodramatic speech.
Hide looked like he would punch his lights out, until Loukas looked him in the eye and with a soft smile said, “Don't die on us alright. We still need you and you are wanted in every way here… okay...”
Hide needs to know this and hear this. Despite everything... he was an accomplice, the only one who knows exactly what happened. For someone as volatile as Hide, loyalty and trust may as well be a foreign language. So just letting him know he’s wanted may give him something that he can hold over them.
Loukas felt sick.
Was he just manipulating an affection starved man?
But… He wasn’t a lie…
He needed them...
need him... for…..
For...................
Hide looked up in surprise at the heavy hand between his horns and ears, and looked embarrassed by Loukas’ words.
His surprised expression became one of embarrassment as he looked away in a huff. He after a minute faced Loukas again with an oddly mischievous grin.
“Oh useful, huh? Needed too? Hey, Loulou stops spacing or checking me out and focus on this cool trick.”
Loukas blinked out of his daze as Hide then took one of Loukas’ hands from his head.
“Loulou said he can’t live without me,” He said in a mocking sing-song voice.
Loukas resisted the irresistible urge to openly sigh. At least he seems to enjoy himself.
However, what he did not expect was-
Hide.… licked his hand….
Loukas numbly thought it was most likely Hide just wanted to be gross and mess with him, but all he could focus was on... everything else
His hot breath against the surprisingly sensitive skin and soft lips caressing his fingers. That tongue glided elegantly over his skin causing a shiver to run down Loukas’ spine. And to make matters worse, Hide had to lift his head from his hand and with a cocky, self-satisfied smile and say, “So what's our next course of action, white knight?”
He was teasing.
He was teasing.
Loukas felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He... did not expect that and although he expected himself to get grossed out as intended or annoyed, that shiver confirmed he felt…… slight enjoyment.
He... really needed him to stop.
Loukas then leaned down to meet the man at eye level and firmed his voice to ask, “Are you done?”
Much to Loukas’ relief, Hide looked up at him with at first an odd look.
Was there... something wrong with his tone? Before giving a faux disgusted look on his face.
“Eh, no, I don't know where your creep hands had even been..... or worse going to be,” Hide muttered that last part.
… What is he even implying?
He dramatically dropped Loukas' hand. Loukas pulled back his hand to himself and sighed at the theatrics. He was 89% annoyed by this, and the other percentage is a liar.
To his relief, he heard the door to the balcony open to stop this from getting even more awkward for him.
It was Carole, he never felt more relieved to see another person. However, there was this obvious tension to her that made that relief short live for him as he felt a growing sense of concern.
There was something wrong...
Hide waved to her at her entrance, and called out, “Carly Warly! We’re having a balcony party over here please join in before it gets lame.”
Carole instead of what he usually expects, which would be a groan. She simply looked tired.
“What do you want now, Hide?” she asked
Hide bounded up to her and pointed towards the sky, “Loulou was bored and wanted to do some stargazing. The smog isn’t that thick tonight. Soooo Star GAZING PARTY!!!!”
Carole raised her eyebrow with suspicion at his lie and asked, “Seriously…”
“yup, ” he answered in turn.
Carole pinched the bridge of her nose and said, “You know I don’t get or understand the reason for things like star gazing or cloud watching or-”
“Um, well,” Loukas figured it was all right to chime in, “You could use the stars to travel.”
Carole looked at Loukas with intrigue and inched closer to him. He felt some sense of easement until concern arched her eyebrow and she asked, “What happened to your nose.... and face?”
Loukas bit at his bottom lip again and said, “I ... I don’t want to talk about it…”
“Seriously? Travel?” Hide ignoring the tension, “I have never heard of that one, before.”
“Well, it's kinda old school, from what I've read,” Loukas changed topics, but now that Carole was closer to them, he figured out what felt different. For a split second he could have sworn he saw her wings... inky and black, but just like that he saw nothing.
He was very tired.
Did… did she even notice? He decided not to comment, as Hide did not seem to have noticed himself.
It could be just him then.
Carole's intense purple eyes focused on him as he talked as Hide was... a bit close.
If things were different maybe they would have become better friends instead of mockery of a partnership.
It was still fun pretending everything was normal.
Hide then leaned forward nearly falling over the railing as Carole immediately tugged him backwards.
“Boring! Hey, you know you can find shapes in the sky, right? Stars can make some pretty complex shapes consistently. So the next game is, make the best shapes from the stars”
Carole and Loukas gave each a look at that announcement, Carole shrugged as they then looked up at the night sky.
Within 3 seconds, “I see a blueberry.” Carole then pointed to a simple sphere.
Not an…. imaginative shape….
Hide seeing an opportunity for trouble, “Nah, that's an expensive ass orange, obviously.”
Carole then narrowed her eyes at him. And said, “Did I ask for your opinion?”
Loukas forced to stifle a laugh as he looked on as the pair combated in their truly important debate. The ones who help him are now bickering like little kids, though Carole seemed to be the one trying to maintain some level of professionalism, as difficult as it was.
Loukas looked on at the two with amusement. It made him wonder if...
Did they just murder his Aunt?
Did it even happen?
The thoughts of what had been orchestrated made his previously light-hearted mood fade to that now dulled throb of dread.
With little thinking, he asked, “Had any of you two ever killed anyone... before?”
He did not mean to say it so bluntly it came out his mouth against his wishes as a dull knife to the previous jovial mood.
Carole’s face of course grew to its usual flat feature, Hide was unchanged but, maybe because of his imagination, seemed intensely focused on him.
“That's a dumb question,” Hide said.
“Not everyone lives like you…,” Carole muttered.
He... he had a feeling of Hide's answer to that question. It was... obvious but Carole’s…
“And you Cal-Cal?” He got straight to the point, “um.. You don't have to if don't want to."
Carole sighed, “no… of course not…”
A simple answer with no explanation or elaboration, just a firm confirmation. Hide satisfied with her response backed off without an attempt of a rebuttal or reply.
Loukas looked down at the smoggy buildings below and murmured,” I-I see, Sorry... was just curious that’s all…”
He did drag her into this...
“Let me guess, you never did it before... have you?” Carole asked.
Loukas raised his finger to his lips and bite down before saying, “No I-I never got involved I... I just... I just... I don’t know anymore…”
Carole's bright eyes continued to look up at the sky, She then took a deep breath before saying, “None of us knows anymore... Feeling bad or guilty at this point wouldn’t change anything, you just have to accept it and move on.”
Her eyes gave him a lazy glance, “Not that I feel bad personally…”
Hide sat on the balcony itself, “me neither, bitch deserved to die and I’m here for it. Most people here suck anyway.”
How... How could they say and think that?
“Loukas... what do you want to do?”
Loukas was silent, the answer was obvious. He wanted to continue onwards and take his place.
“To make Ilden’s a better place with the ventis,” He finally said.
Carole observed him before closing her eyes and saying, “Is that what you want?…. then I would not stop you…”
“Yeah, it would get pretty boring and shit if I just did IT analyst work 24/7. You guys provide some excellent entertainment,” Hide said, giving the two a big smile.
Was…
Was that what he wanted?
Of course, it was…
.................................
Was it?….
He….
What… He wanted… His wants are inherently selfish as his church has repeatedly said.
… But what he wanted was…
Loukas did not know what came over him but through his teeth, he let out, “And the fastest way to get it is through blood, you know..”
Loukas swiftly covered his mouth as Carole’s stoic stare analyzed him, and Hide’s gaze glittered with admiration.
“Then do it…” her gaze then went back up at the starry sky.
Hide smiled at Loukas and said, “You are really gonna give me a good time, you know that right?”
Loukas was not sure how to feel. The cogs are spinning and the choices made have led him to this point. What choice does he have? He had dug his grave a long time ago, but it was oddly comforting to not be alone for once.
Thus that night three watchers of the night sky all internally knew there was no turning back. A path self-made and paved, with blood, bone and smog.
END ACT 1
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