《Smoke and Murders》All my Faults part 1
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He…
He really has done it….
After all these years of pain and abuse. He managed to get back them.
His mother would have wanted this. He was at this point more than disgusted by how many of his siblings had been referring to that awful woman as ‘mom’.
She is not mom and never would be her.
If only he could tell them the truth, but he has chosen not to and will continue to do so until the bitter end.
He was not mad at them for seeing her so positively, far from it.
He craved to see that her empty-eyed corps-..
No...
What the hell was wrong with him?
Loukas wiped away the blood dripping from his bruised, bandaged nose, rubbing and wincing at the swelling of his cheek as his thoughts drifted to that meeting he had earlier.
That meeting with his father, a very rare sight at this point and Sir went better than he thought. Sir was still upset about his wife’s ex-communication and…. disappearance. As per usual he showed it with full force on him. He could take it.
His father was a shorter black haired grey-eyed man. The exact opposite of him. Loukas always at times wondered if he was his biological father. A business relationship is the best way he would describe what they had. Not that he particularly minded and for once his father took his side.
Loukas tongue lazily prodded the open tooth sockets, each one once held a tooth sharpen to a point. His tongue dug into the wounds in his mouth as he bearly registered the pain until he felt not bruised swallow gum but a tiny sharp tooth underneath. Ready to fill the gap from the punch.
It was healing already. In a few days, it would be as good as new. A small price to pay in getting that letter for Hide, Loukas felt it was the right thing to do.
A friendly word in for Carole to get her more respect in the educational world once she finishes her term here and getting Hide the actual job he wanted. For their help in this plan and all of them getting off scot-free.
....
It was wrong… so very very very wrong…
If Loukas was to describe himself, he would say he was a very... passionate guy. His passions, though few, and he felt getting fewer. He would put his all into them.
Taking care of his siblings, cooking and at some point gardening, he would always put everything he had into it.
Ildens' was his home, whether he liked it or not. Thus his current passion for getting the ventis to work for him instead of just being some vessel like every heir before him and is something he would do everything in his power to achieve.
He had gotten very good with compliance at this point; he had been doing years by now. But he had to still keep it up a little longer. This whole thing has a peaceful resolution. He knows it does.
Regardless of the blood that was just shed….
Leaving his sparse and barely furnished bedroom, Loukas went out to find his younger brother. Hence why he headed towards the stables.
Although the word horse stables would not be all that accurate to describe what was more akin to horse mansions with the heavily decorated, open space interior with curtains and well-polished floors buried under piles of hay.
Cherly loved his pets. It was always endearing how a demand made on a whim became an immense love to him. It's funny to think how it was allowed just because it may train him to be proper. Well, he is a proper gentleman now.
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Loukas looked around the stable greeting each of the horses; Cinnamon, Lighting, Thunder, Storm and Josh, with a gentle pat on the snout.
The animal of course flinched away from him before he touched them.
He was used to animals being uncomfortable around him. It was not as if he would ever be allowed to have a pet around him anyway.
He then heard slight murmuring from the next corner over thus he quietly made his way to the source. Making sure to not make sound and peeked.
Cherly, despite being in his more down-to-earth style of riding clothing, was still as flashy as ever with him putting back on every ring, bracelet and piercing back into place. Standing nearby was that bucktooth brown hair, horse beast-kin who in contrast with his shabby clothes of cheap slacks and plain white shirt looked out of place next to man. Cherly had his face in the chest of the beast-kin as the horseman looked at him with concern.
“Hey, now, it’ll be alright, not your fault or anything..” he said with his hand on Cheryl's shoulder, giving him a gentle smile.
“I know that, Rodney! I already damn well know that! It's just...,” Cherly moved his hands away from his face and gave Rodney the most forlorn look Loukas had ever seen on the usually proud boy.
“I’ve been with Auntie for years and didn’t even notice what she was doing behind our backs... I just... I just think I could have stopped her or talked her out of it before it got-”
“Mista, I know it ain't ma place to say anything but focusing on that ain't doing ya any good,” Rodney horse tail brushed against his employer, “I know the horses would hate to see their dad all bungled up over something he can’t control ya know.”
Cherly rolled his eye, “it’s honestly not your place to tell Me what to do.”
Rodney released a sigh and was about to back off until “But that doesn’t make you any less right,” causing the horseman to release a happy horse-like snort.
“WELP, it just so happens occasionally I say something smart now and then,” Rodney joked
"You usually say some smart things... with some exceptions.." Cherly smirked.
“Ay..you had to bring up the bird thing. It was one time.”
Loukas wanted to turn away from this.
As the ever-growing feeling of guilt took root, he could not bring himself to look at the two. For what he had done.
However, instead of turning around and walking away silently, he cleared his throat and called out, “Cherry? Where are you, bro?”
Cherly immediately stood right up and put on his usual air of posh indifference as Rodney rolled his eyes at this act and back away as Loukas walked in.
“Ahem, Mr Oris, I feel like Josh has not been his best lately, don’t you think. Maybe you should-”
“Ay, Ay his fine… sir,” Said Rodney dully to Cherly, “I’ll still check his rations.”
“Am I interrupting anything?” Loukas asked innocently. He would play along with this.
“Nah, sir, am just about to head out anyway, ave a good day,” and with that, the horseman picked up his work bag and left the two brothers alone and by themselves.
“Loui, what do you want right now?” Cherly asked as soon as Rodney was out of earshot.
“Aw, I can’t just up and decide to hang out with my little brother,” Loukas did not want to bring up the obvious recent event.
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What was even more disgusting was... He felt more upset that Cherly even liked her, not the fact of his responsibility for her death.
He was upset that she was a loved person.
He was an awful brother.
Cherly looked rather relieved to see Loukas, but wasn’t buying it “Loui, we both know, you wouldn’t just come here for absolutely nothing.”
“Really? Maybe this time I decided might as well,”
Cherry folded his arms and gave him a look of brotherly suspicion
“I know why you’re here..”
Do you even?...
“Ouch, was it that obvious?” Loukas gingerly scratched the back of his head.
He was sorry...
“Louis I know you, You are too obvious, let's just get out of here before we make a scene,” said Cherly as he picked his bags and headed out pulling on his more formal jacket. Even in grief, he had to make himself extravagant. Loukas followed behind him with that carefree smile.
Knows him...
He… He doesn’t…
They were in Cherly’s room within a few minutes, and it still hurts Loukas’ eyes every time he enters his younger brother's room.
Bright blue walls, carpets, an ugly bright green pattern complimented by glistening golden yellow curtains. There was the typical walk-in closet, a giant bed with a canopy, and all over the room were painting supplies and a couple of digital art tools on the bed.
Cherly then came out of his walk-in closet in more casual attire, at least as casual as the man could lower himself to, pulling that black V-neck quarter-length sleeve shirt over his binder.
“Let’s just get to the point Loui,” Said Cherly as he sat upon his bed and folded his arms, but his show of annoyance did little to change the obvious tiredness in his eyes, "I’m fine... Holger’s doing fine, Erna, Enok, we’re all okay... It’s just been.... difficult, but nothing for you to burden yourself with.”
That’s… not… it.
Loukas doubted that statement, this was hitting everyone hard.
“I just want to make sure, Enok’s has locked himself in his room for 3 days since that got announced,” Loukas took a seat in one of the soft plush chairs, “Holger’s fine but you know I can never read him that well but...… he’s been trying to null the whole thing via letter”
Cherly pulled up his drawing pad and released a sigh, “Yeah figured that but what’s done is done,” Cherly lazily doodled in the pad, “The younger ones would take it harder, Auntie Laura was practically a mother to them.”
Loukas' smile barely held on to its usual friendliness and sympathy.
Mom?
That woman… mom?
Not when she married that man, not with what she had been doing to other humans.
How could Cherly-
“Hey Loukas,” Cherly snapped his fingers, breaking Loukas’ thoughts, “I don’t need you staring off into space you know, you are needed on earth.”
Loukas covered his nervousness with a laugh, “Haha, sorry about that Cherly I guess I kinda drifted off a bit, you know.”
Cherly rolled his eyes as he leaned back, “Ugh, seriously Loui,”
“Yeah, I'm kinda been a bit of a space cadet you know.”
“Sheesh, they should make me heir at this point if you plan to space out all the time cus I-”
“Cherly… don’t you dare continue that sentence” his humorous tone disappeared with that joking request and that took Cherly aback, yet seemed to hold an understanding look.
"They can call me whatever they want, I know very well what I am, me taking your place does little to make me feel otherwise. I don't care what they think."
That was not the problem. In begining yes it was but now... no.
“But... Loui, what is your problem?,” Cherly groaned, “We have only an 11-months difference, I think it wouldn’t be that bad either w-”
Loukas, as much as he knew he had to do this at some point, had never raised his voice towards his siblings. Not even as an immature child. But with what Cherly just implied… What his brother, who saw his injuries every day, had the gall to say…
“My problem, I thought you didn’t believe it when they said I was exaggerating!”
“I don’t Loui!,” Cherly snapped back.
Cherly let out a small sigh as he sat at his desk and rested his head upon it as he rubbed his hand over his face
“I'm... I’m..so sorry about that...I should have phrased that better.” He muttered.
Loukas, now no longer blinded by his own detest, switched back to his usual soft tone.
He never wanted to yell at Cherly.
How could he?
He already was going through a lot.
Loukas thought he could take anything; from horrible rumours about him to the pain, to the onslaught of verbal abuse.
He should not have gotten like that.
“Look… no harm done. Its alright. Okay... It’s alright. Our real mom wouldn’t want to see us fight like this.” He said.
Cherly, instead of turning to him and nodding his head at the statement, stared at him in silence and murmured, “Real mom?... easy for you to say, she only cared about you ... even when you ran away”
He then covered his lips and before Loukas could react, he saw a waterfall of tears spill from his eyes.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn't... Just…,” Cherly’s face was in his hands, finally succumbing to his grief. The grief he was all this time had been suppressing and now here it was all spilling out, Loukas came over and embraced the boy in his arms in a hug.
“No...it's okay... it's alright”
He caused this, and he now had to live with it.
Cherly through heavy sniffles said, “Oh please don’t let anyone know of this.”
Loukas gave a soft smile, “Cross my heart Cherry and..” he bit his lips and said, “I'm sorry for not being there when they sent you off…. I promise I’ll never disappear on you all ever again... okay..”
Cherly tried to let out a small laugh, “Loui, none of us thinks you would. You would probably at least leave some rambling apology letter before you would even think of it, right?”
He sighed, "Plus... that boarding school was actually kinda fun... mostly with all the stuff I manage to get away with"
Loukas chuckles, “Doubt a school can change a guy like you. I also wonder if you can also put in a kind word for the new tutor..”
Cherly folded his arms and scoffed, “Even now you want to help people.... fine, whatever. She at least does her job properly, so I’ll give her that.”
As he turned to his desk taking out a pen and paper to work on the letter, Loukas through his self-disgust and hatred said, “Thanks, Cherry berry…”
“Don’t mention it Loui.”
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