《Guild Wars》Chapter 20.1: Enroute!
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The sun has hardly risen when the squadrons are gathered by the harbor. Feno’s watching them by the dock, hugging their loved ones amidst the semicircle of families that came to say teary goodbyes. Wishing them well with myriads of different good luck charms ranging from crystals to handkerchiefs to photographs. Behind him, pirate’s squadron are pulling up the fleets in a neat line, one for each division and lowering down the gangplanks to get ready for embarking.
Once it’s done, he calls out to Vaegil by the guild portal building. He's face planted his head onto Salem’s shoulder, as if he isn’t ready to wake up yet so he doesn’t even hear him. Salem on the other hand, is busy addressing division two, nine and ten’s captains before him, on duties to maintain the guild in Vaegil’s absence. The first admiral is here too leaning against the white walls of the cafe beside it. A voluptuous red-haired woman in a fox fur shawl draping off her elbows and smoking a narrow pipe. Her corset laced tight enough to make her breasts overspill. Truthfully, she looks more like an expensive escort than an admiral.
Salem's instructing her, she’s going to fill Vaegil’s spot as guild leader for the time being, to which, she looks less than enthusiastic about accepting the new responsibilities. Rolling her eyes, she sarcastically requests Salem to stop nagging and points out Salem's still going to be here regardless. Even going as far as to call him mom to intentionally spite him.
It’s only after Blitz, who’s just exited the portal and gives her a fist bump and a hug that makes Lilith realize, that’s his older sister. They’re quite alike actually, their features, their fur heavy and dark outfit choices, down to the way both of them give off the same domineering, headstrong vibes. Blitz’s sister is wishing him well on the journey and precautioning him to not to come back with another scar on his face this time. It’s an eyesore.
It takes a couple more hollers from pirate to finally capture their attention admidst the clamoring goodbyes. At that, Salem hits Vaegil awake. Reprimanding him to sleep on the ship instead. He’s drowsily replying with a, ‘wha- oh. It's morning?’ and stumbling towards the direction of pirate’s voice with his eyes half closed and dazed out from slumber. But before he makes it out of arm’s reach, Salem stops him on the wrist. Hesitantly, he tries to say,
‘Return home safe.’ like it takes great effort, so it came out as a jumbled mess of syllabus. Salem must be one of those types. The type that’s horrible at expressing their feelings, and when Vaegil fails to catch his sentiment with a confused, ‘huh?’ Salem instead, snaps at him,
‘Just be careful.’ stoic as possible with a quick embrace and a slap on the back. That gesture, ironically wakes Vaegil up, sparkly in his eyes,
‘Oh! So, you actually would miss me!’ as though it was all an act to begin with. That man’s awfully sly, despite he’s airily laughing whilst Salem pushes him away and admonishes,
‘Get going.’ with a click of his tongue and a furrow in his brows. With that, Vaegil triumphally skips off with Blitz escorting him, joined by Fray as they shuffle past the crowd to make his way center. Declaring for the squadrons to assemble within their divisions. But, engrossed in their farewells as they are, they aren’t listening to Vaegil. So instead, Blitz is the one that had to shout the message through in a thundering voice to draw their attentions. It’s quite apparent, despite being the guild leader, Vaegil doesn’t have the intimidation skills needed to make people obey him. Either that, or he’s intentionally sucking at his job so someone else does it for him. Given the type of personality traits he’s shown, it’s probably the latter.
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With that, Vaegil nonchalantly strolls towards his own ship in the dead center of the dock. Denoted with a blue flag that has a crown on top of Altyria’s cloud swan sigil. Looking awfully satisfied with himself. Going past Feno, he jerks to a stop, seeing Feno has made him recall something he needs to tell him. But instead, he’s pondering, like it’s slipped his mind again. His eccentric gestures are making Feno raise a brow at him,
‘Is something the matter?’ to finally ring the bell in his head with a little, ‘oh!’ as he slaps his fist against an open palm, Vaegil exclaims,
‘That girl with the pink twin tails yesterday!’ bunching his hair on both sides of his head to demostrate so Feno understands who he's talking about,
‘Nana? What about her?’
‘You should keep an eye on her.’ but it’s strange, because he’s saying it less so with an attitude of, protect her, and more as a warning. Feno’s getting confused,
‘Why’s that?’
Vaegil tilts his head up with an audible hum, thinking of a reason to back his suspicions, but when he can’t, he laughs,
‘She smells like someone that’s killed a lot.’ what does that even smell like? Even stranger perhaps, is that Feno isn’t surprised by the statement,
‘We’re adventurers. Surely even Nana’s killed some bandits and raiders here and there.’
‘But it’s different.’ Vaegil reiterates, finally finding his justifications,
‘It won’t be that alarming if her demeanor matches her scent. But, when there’s a disparity, that usually means, the individual’s actively hiding behind a mask.’ he’s referring to Nana’s shy and timid nature. Now that Vaegil’s pointed it out, it would be quite contradictory if that is the case. Feno puts it bluntly,
‘You mean like you?’
‘Yeah! Exactly!’ this one does take him back a little with how shamelessly Vaegil’s admitted it. Feno can’t help but to chuckle,
‘I’ll keep your advice in mind.’ at that, Vaegil gives him a little wave and skips off again. Disappearing on top of the gangplank. Seemingly heading straight to bed. But he understood Vaegil's intentions. He was instigating Feno to pry about her past.
A few docks down, Blitz is ordering the division captains to embark the squadrons in uniformed lines. It’s cue for Feno to holler for his men. They’re still finalizing their goodbyes with more warm teary hugs.
Demos is the only one without kin, standing off to the side by their ship's stern and looking at the rest of them with a longing gaze, completely spaced out. Whilst waiting for the squadron to gather, Feno approaches Demos to ask,
‘You don’t have anyone to send you off?’ snapping him out of the trance with a startled, ‘huh?’ before he realizes he’s been addressed and sheepishly rubs into his elbow,
‘Everyone I loved died in the previous war... So...’ his voice cuts out, not finishing the rest of the sentence - I’ve been alone for a while now. - Lilith assumes that's what he's wanted to say.
Feno returns him a pitying glance,
‘I’m sorry.’ wondering if there is anything else he can address in this situation. But before the awkward silence brews, Demos starts,
‘The guild is sorta like my family now! And even if my family didn’t die in the war, they’ll probably be gone by now of old age!’ trying to fake a cheeriness more like he’s trying to convince himself than Feno,
‘I mean, the whole situation with being born with more Vita is that you’ll tend to outlive the common folk around you. That’s the tradeoff for Magia.’ adding in a couple more forced chuckles before he quietens. Feno’s prying,
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‘Do you wish, you weren’t born with more Vita than the common folk?’ it’s usually glorified as a gift. Parents are elated to find that that their children are stronger than others. Demos is a little reluctant to answer his question. He’s conflicted. But from the look he’s wearing on his face, he’s probably leaning towards saying yes. Instead, he roundaboutly replies,
‘If that was the case, then I probably wouldn’t have met the many cool adventurers in Altyria that I have.’ he sighs,
‘But I’m never strong enough to become a division captain myself.’ panning down the docks defeatedly where each captain’s standing by the gangplanks of their ship. He’s trying to imply he’s got the shorter end of the stick. He isn’t gifted with combat prowess like the higher-ranking officials, but he’s sacrificing all the same. Yet, he isn't voicing it, so instead, Feno admits,
‘I’m not very strong either.’ rubbing his nape, ‘compared to Lanara, I fall short of her in leagues.’
‘At least you can get stronger. Guild leader Vaegil’s reply to me made me realize, this is my peak. This is far as I could go.’ he sounds a little bitter when he adds jokingly,
‘Reality is often quite harsh when you aren’t written with main character potentials.’
‘I suppose, neither am I a main character then.’ Feno points out forlornly,
‘Main characters won’t run away and let their friends die in their stead.’ before snapping out of it to look at Demos,
‘But combat abilities aren’t all there are to strength. You are a main character in your own right.’ he’s trying to make him feel better,
‘You have the ability to unite the squadron in Lanara’s absence that I can’t achieve.’ Demos is a little surprised by his compliment, he probably hasn’t expected Feno to be saying this after the heated argument they had just two days ago, but Feno continues earnestly,
‘You are someone that most squadron members relate to. Someone that they turn to for advice. That in itself, is something commendable.’ he praises him with a small smile,
‘Honestly, it’s because of you that I am able to convince the rest of them to come with me on this journey.’ Feno’s quite good at pulling heartstrings it seems, because his humility has touched Demos. He’s tearing up,
‘You really are a good guy!’ unwarrantedly throwing his arms around Feno that’s made him flinch backwards. Demos is awfully emotional, when he unironically, theatrically cries,
‘Captain Feno, I am willing to die for you!’ just as the squadron’s gathering up for embarking and giving them curious looks. Amidst the crowd, buzz cut guy raises a brow at Feno,
‘What did you do to get Demos all teary again?’ but Feno’s uncomfortably shuffling against him, like he doesn’t want to come off as rude by pushing him off. He’s returning a wry,
‘I didn’t do anything.’ standing completely still and waiting for Demos to compose himself. He does after a few moments, sniffling and wiping away snot with the back of his hands,
‘I will not fail your expectations, Captain!’ he salutes,
‘Come on brethren!’ and marching up the plank leading the rest of the puzzled squadron forward.
Waving a scroll into existence Feno checks their names off the list as they board the ship one by one. Demos’s heading them forward with an enthusiastic song,
‘Onward to the eastern lands!’ and pointing at the skies to make the dreary reality less dreary. Although, only a few of them are keen to sing with him. It’s too early, and some of them are busy holding back tears, constantly wiping their eyes with the grim reminder that this is a reality, now that they’re actually here. That only calls for Demos to sing even louder as they’re on the deck, trying to rally them up, and questioning them if this the image they want to give to their families, pussy crybabies? How can their families not worry if this is the face, they’re showing them before they leave?
What an easy guy to please. Demos is really putting in more effort after that brief conversation. But his words are getting to them, gathering at the bridge, the squadron’s putting on a brave smile to wave at their loved ones under them. Promising their safe returns and echoing Demos’s song, until their enthusiasm, eventually rubs off onto the other squadrons to join along, lightening this solemn atmosphere with something hopeful and bright.
Beneath the ship, Feno does one last take on the scroll. All the names are ticked off except for one, Nana, she isn’t here yet. Did she oversleep? But just as Feno turns his head up to search the crowd, she’s rummaging through shoulders, hyperventilating from running and slumping her hands on her knees to catch her breath, she wheezes,
‘Thank goodness you haven’t left yet!’ her fringe has matted to her forehead. She's ran all the way here.
‘You’re late.’ Feno checks the last name off before waving the scroll away.
‘S-sorry!’ she bows again, brisk walking forward after catching her breath and following Feno up the ship,
‘I-’ clutching into a brown sling bag strapped across her shoulders, ‘I was packing up.’ she tries to explain. But Feno instead, follows up with the conversation they had from yesterday,
‘Did you get to see your Mama?’
‘Mama told me to come home safe!’ she smiles warmly. She didn’t directly answer his question. Although, he’s holding back and deciding now’s not the best time to ask considering the ships are about to depart so he’s just returning her an unconvinced,
‘Right.’ as they gathered on the deck behind the rest of the squadron. The anchors are being drawn. They’re leaving the harbor. His men, squished up against the stern to salute the crowd beneath that’s waving yellow handkerchiefs in tears. But Nana isn’t joining them to say goodbye. Feno tries again,
‘What kind of person is your Mama? Did she not come to send you off?’ Nana pinches her elbow,
‘She’s busy.’ with a slight hint of irritation in her voice, she’s getting annoyed with the questions. Is Nana’s devotion to her Mama one sided? What could be more important than seeing her adoptive daughter for potentially the last time? Nana’s only further confirming it when she breathes,
‘Soon, Mama will love me more than all those other pricks.’ so quietly, it’s hardly audible. There it is again, this ominous obsession she has that briefly surfaces time to time that makes the air around her reek of bloodlust. But she’s always quick to conceal it with the brilliant sheep’s skin she hides beneath. Feno isn’t letting this one slip after Vaegil's warning,
‘Does your Mama have other children?’ as the holler of the crowd gets left further and further behind. Until eventually, they look like little figurines amidst the shorelines of Athens.
‘Children?’ Nana is confused again,
‘Mama cannot procreate.’ tilting on a side to let squadron members flock past her to watch seagulls fly and dolphins leap once they’re in the open seas. A few of them are climbing up the main mast to get a better view. Others, descending beneath the deck to sulk.
Nana shifts herself closer to the bow spirit to get out of the way. Looking at Feno following her like she’s trying to figure out why he’s suddenly so intrigued about her private life. She’s getting reserved. Not handling out any additional information and waiting for him to reiterate,
‘Your Mama adopted you right?’ Feno's trying to pass it as small talk, ‘I was just wondering if she’s adopted others too.’ he isn’t blatantly pointing out her bizarre actions two lines ago. Hearing that makes Nana giggle,
‘No, silly.’ like it’s such a weird concept, ‘Mama didn’t adopt us. We flocked to her.’ and she doesn’t understand what she’s saying is even more estranged. One thing’s for sure. Nana speaks in a rather vague, selective way. She doesn’t give straightforward answers so Feno’s got to roundaboutly rephrase,
‘Does she run an orphanage?’
She’s weaseling out of this conversation now,
‘Why are you so curious of Mama? Are you trying to hit on her?’ folding her arms, she’s changing up her tactics too, with a puff on her cheeks,
‘I won’t give my Mama to you.’ so she is actively hiding something. Feno attempts a different approach, being more direct this time,
‘What happened to your birth family?’ that statement seems to unease her. She takes a defensive step backwards, dropping her head and clasping tightly onto her bag straps with trembling hands. Looking grimly at the planks as she timidly mutters,
‘They... are bad people.’ the next statement that follows is a whisper, Feno didn't hear her through the rustling waves and the resounding cheers from Blanc and Algo’s fleets next to them. They’ve started partying again.
Very skeptically, Feno tries to ask,
‘What did they do?’ it’s bringing back trauma in her eyes. She’s shaking like a leaf, retreating herself against the crate of potatoes behind her,
‘I-is this an order?’ there’s dread in her voice, ‘do I need to answer you?’ now she’s passed the baton to Feno. He looks reluctant to say,
‘Yes.’ as though he’s starting to feel bad about intruding on things she isn't ready to share. But he couldn’t let this be. Not after Vaegil’s warning. Breathing deeply, Nana bats her eyes close momentarily to find herself the courage to obey the command,
‘I wasn’t what father wanted me to be...’ yet her voice betrays her with how terribly shaken it sounds,
‘I really tried my best to make him happy, I really tried. But it wasn’t enough... I thought, if I put on boy clothes, he’ll be satiated.’ she quietens, distances,
‘But his demands grew more and more sinister, he threatened to mutilate me if I didn’t submit.’ from the looks of it, the way she’s hugging both forearms like she’s looking for shelter, Nana was abused by her own father, swallowing dryly,
‘And when I discovered I could wield Magia, it was like, the heavens gave me a choice. For me to live,’ it’s so much easier for her to say this next sentence,
‘I’ll have to get rid of him. I got rid of him.’
Feno’s starting to look a little sympathetic towards her. Trying to console her,
‘That wasn’t your fault.’ yet, it’s stirring another type of emotion that isn’t trauma and misery anymore. It’s anger, indignation, frustration, Nana already understands it wasn’t her fault,
‘But everyone else in the village said it was. No one believed me. They only saw the consequences, the aftermath.’ she’s grinding her teeth at it, after realizing she’s attracted a few curious glances of the nearby squadron members, she lowers her voice again,
‘They called me a patricidal ingrate, imprisoned me. They said I was sick, and I ought to be fixed. And when I tried to run, mother hired adventurers to kill me.’
"And..." Feno's starting to figure it out. Hesitant as he sounds, "how did you get out of that situation?"
She’s getting is awfully cold and sadistic when she laughs,
‘I killed her and everyone else, they deserved it.’ like it was something that gave her solace. So that’s what Vaegil means by she smells like a killer. She’s quickly reminded of the reality afterwards,
‘But that’s just made it worst. It led to more people trying to kill me, bounties, being posted everywhere.’ that’s why she’s so timid and frightened all the time like a startled mouse. That’s why, there’s such a drastic dualism to her personality. Nana was constantly fighting for her own survival.
With that, Feno sits down on the crate with a laborous heave. Uncertain of what he should commentate so he’s outlooking at his squadron who’s also cracked open a cannister. Leaning over the deck to air toast Algo’s men. Some of the rum overspilling into the oceans beneath as Athens, behind them eventually grew so tiny, it appears like a mere island. Nana’s shaking herself out of it,
‘But Mama made sure no one can come after me anymore. When I was eventually overpowered, surrounded and no longer capable of saving myself, she saved me.’ Mama was Nana’s spark of light. The same way, Lanara was Feno’s.
‘She freed me from my curse and gave me a fresh start, a new name. I’ve sworn her my eternal loyalty, until my last breath, I’ll help Mama fulfil her wish.’ she clutches onto her bag strap,
‘Mama is also trying really hard to survive in this world as it is.’
Finally gathered his thoughts,
‘You have a lot of hatred in you.’ Feno points out with a sigh,
‘Although I can’t fully agree what you did was entirely justified either. As a Magia user, you killed innocent commoners, because they wronged you. It was a one-sided slaughter for them. They never had the chance to retaliate against you.’ this statement’s making her defensive,
‘So I should’ve held back, and continue being a pin cushion for them? I should’ve let my father continue having his way with me? Let them continuously hire bounty hunters to maul me down?’ Feno tries to reason,
‘You could’ve gone to the local guilds and seek help, could’ve talked to someone before you made the decisive blow.’ it isn't connecting, she's provoked by it,
‘Go to the same people, that wanted me dead? The same people who imprisoned me and sided with that monster? Need I be clearer that it was my local adventurers they paid who were trying to kill me.’ Nana is surprisingly argumentative beneath the timid exterior.
‘But by striking back against the misconstrued villagers, you weren’t better than any of them.’
‘So, when is it justified for me to retaliate? When I lose a limb, an eye, or an organ? When I rot my entire life away in a narrow cell? Is that when I am finally deserving of sympathy and forgiveness? I was just a terrified illiterate child who understood jack shit about how the world works.’
‘Why did you think no one would believe you if you asked for help? Why wouldn’t they believe a terrified illiterate child?’
That statement has just made her pause. Chuckling under her breath like it's a painful memory she's lost ages running from,
‘Do you want to know why?’ meandering around to stand stand before him. Blocking off his sight of the rest of the ship. There’s a frigid look to her when she lowers her gaze upon him as Feno glances up to address her face. She grabs his wrist forward,
‘This is why.’ pressing his hand between her legs, she scoffs, ‘changes the narrative, doesn’t it?’ Feno’s uncomfortably snapping his arm back,
‘You’re a...’
‘Yeah. That’s right. I’m a boy. But I’m not enough of a boy, I like wearing dresses, I like tying my hair into pigtails, I like dolls and flowers.’ she’s getting sarcastic, parroting the accusations that were once thrown at her,
‘I liked disgracing my family, I liked making them the laughing stock of the village, I liked deceiving others, I liked attracting impure attention.’ her voice is drowning lower,
‘And guess what my father said? If I wanted to be a girl so much, then he’ll make me one. He raped me, and he liked it. So, he did it again, again, again, to the point, he wanted to castrate me. That way, I can be what I’ve always wanted to be.’ Feno’s incited her to be way more contextual than she had initially intended to share,
‘My mother refused to believe he was capable of doing something so horrendous. Why would she? They’ve been married for decades and he has been nothing but sweet and faithful. I’m the one that was sick, I’m the one that was wrong, I am the mistake that’s seduced him with my twisted sense of self.’ she mocks Feno,
‘Who do you think people believed? A grieving widow with a mutilated corpse to show for, or a murderous cross-dressing sissy who they’ve disdained and derided from the very beginning?’ he has forced it out of her, the true source of her trauma. Nana’s extremely bitter,
‘So, do you intend to punish me for what I did too? For breaking the golden rule of not harming defenseless commoners with my Magia?’ from the way Feno’s reacting to that statement, it’s quite clear that she’s called him out. He was contemplating about it.
‘I thought you were going to be different from the rest of them when I heard your speech.’ Nana scoffs,
‘But I thought wrong. You are exactly the same as all those self-righteous bastards sitting on their moral high horse.’ from the way she’s putting it. It seems, Nana’s still holding a grudge against the guilds. It’s quite ironic she’s decided to join one.
Her outburst of honestly is making Feno rather conflicted now,
‘If we don’t abide by rules and standards, then how are we any different from Rebellion guilds? You’ve undeniably broken a rule of the Elite ten... I’m afraid, I...’ he looks reluctant to say it,
‘I’ll have to humbly request of you to be confined for the time being. I will speak to guild leader Vaegil regarding this matter when we land.’ he’s wavering again,
‘That is what I’m supposed to say. But I’ll be a complete hypocrite if I were to imprison you. If I had the power to kill my tormentors. I would’ve...’ he rephrases,
‘I’d chosen the same, the blood is still on my hands even if I wasn’t the one that’s dealt the blows.’ he’s taking full responsibility for his family’s death. They really are quite similar in their past, more than anyone, Feno probably understood Nana. Rubbing into his temple, Feno admits,
‘I’ve already broken a rule once.’ he’s referring to the fact he’s kept secret about Lanara killing her comrades,
‘And I think, I’m fine with breaking another one, as long as you promise you’ll never do something like this again. You haven’t told anyone else in the guild, have you?’ his heart really is soft.
Nana takes a step backwards, there’s something flickering in her eyes when she stutters,
‘N-no.’ what is that? Hesitancy? She looks like she’s pricked by a rose thorn the way she’s biting into her lips as if she’s undeserving of the kindness Feno’s showing her. As if she’s anticipating to be put in shackles and thrown in a cell beneath the deck. Instead, she sighs, clutching a fist before her heart, muttering completely inaudibly, you shouldn’t have been so nice to me. Feno didn't hear her,
‘Pardon?’ she doesn’t repeat. Excusing herself with another bow, telling him she’ll be unpacking her stuff in her room. Again, skedaddling away to disappear beneath the deck with Feno watching her pink pigtails, whipping wildly behind her.
She really is quite odd.
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