I watched from my cover, pushed up against the hard bark of a tree on hands and knees, narrowing my head around to take in the thrashed earth of my arrival. My near escape.

My trail back to the tree had been easy to follow, the destination far closer than my expectation. My path had been a bawling zig-zag of torn earth, twisted branches and tossed vines. I couldn't imagine how I'd made it, couldn't make sense of the journey -

It didn't feel important compared to the rumbling buzz that spun into my awareness before pulling away. The occasional bug darted forth from the branches just beyond, patrolling the tree of their refuge, I counted, wondering if my plan could work.

It depended on my inventory.

My possessions floated inside me like a bunch of ideas, they felt far less solid until I called them to the front of my attention. I understood them deeper than I had ever holding them - my water bottle, within I felt the journey of a drop. Snacks that captured the Sun's fuel. Books that tasted like paper and smelled like ink where knowledge sloshed against the pages, offering a drink.

Even the grittiness of sand that covered each thing, the abrasiveness of it - everything at the tip of my fingers...I focused on the lint, the puffs of lost fabric that had accumulated at the bottom of my backpack and pockets, I pushed them out.

They appeared on my palm, a burrow of dust bunnies that clung together before a single breath set them free. I picked up a pebble - and brought it into myself.

My hand suddenly empty - holding nothing.

I brought the scissors out again. leaving the pin that held the separate shears together, within. A blade appeared in each hand and I grinned before vanishing them again.

Altogether it felt like noting compared to the pain the bugs threatened me with and the proof of their prowess. Still mounds rose beneath and around their tree, some even retained their shape, even their fur. Others were long overgrown with grass now, or sprouting bright white bulges that jutted out like mushrooms - the brightest things I had seen in this dark habitat.

Bones.

I crawled closer, tossing another ball of mud - if I could just lure one bug out, take them one at a time...but they ignored me.

How far could they see? How far would they chase me?

Sporadically a green bug would split from the leaves it camouflaged in so well. Flying a loose spiral I had to set my beating heart against. I fought myself each time, the desire to shriek and flee. I took deep breaths, closer -

Pain drilled into my calve with a menacing growl -

Sharp teeth bit into my flesh, parting the cloth of my pants - tearing

I yelped, caught on my knees - I brought my hands up as I looked back round -

To protect my face? To punch out? To panic?

A creature, four legs and a bloody mouth. My blood. Narrow eyes that squinted over my struggle.

-2 HP

Almost an armadillo, bigger - uglier, a wide mouth with snuggled teeth - menacing eyes - claws and jagged teeth covered so thickly in heavy, hard flesh that was gnarled where it grew - a moving stump with all sharp thorns, two dangerous eyes.

Locked onto my leg - following as I tried to spin to face it it stayed behind me, I tried to shake it off = with my surprise.

Just out of reach, I kicked it to push, the impact sent the teeth tearing deeper, threatening a chunk of my flesh. I rolled over, my ass flat and sweeping my legs out - it hung on growling and desperate.

-1 HP

Hissing, twisting and tugging as it chewed, gargling and growling through my blood - tearing away skin, piling on pain -

I leaned forward and punched its head, like punching a rock or a branch, it tore the skin from my knuckles. More pain. Extra pain. Another sharp tear of my calve as another punch landed squarely, for once. The teeth went deeper - I wasn't even threatening it, the pain was just going to get worse! My punches only helping it eat me.

Except - it didn't.

I feel the creature, the teeth inside the barrier of my skin. Mauling me with snarls and sharp swings of its claws and neck. I didn't feel the pain, I was recoiling against the fear of it instead. Seeing my leg mangled and bloody.

I know I can heal...it hurt. But noting like the bugs - that had been such a little sting, this looked terrible, crippling -

A far bigger bite - and it was doing way more damage to me, that's what it looked like.

-1 HP.

One?

All that snarling and tearing just for one more...

Ability: Pain Threshold. You have experienced pain beyond what your physiological system was designed to comprehend and survived. Your physiological and psychological response to pain has adapted to filter your limbic response to pain.

Pain - I hadn't beaten it. I still felt it - but now it was also pain instead of only pain. It was dull. The dullest part of what I was dealing with. No different then the messages - just another sensation feeding me information -

I have to do something, or I will die. But I can think.

I still had to care about it - but for the first time I felt the difference - that the pain wasn't hurting me, and I swung all of my attention away from it and stared at what was.

This Bastard.

Sneaking up - attacking from behind. Unprovoked.

The beast hadn't paused for me to pull myself together, it continued to rip and tear at me in furious movements. I tugged back, accepting the pain pass through me as I felt the torn flesh of my leg way as his jaws finally met - he tried to pull back, to rip his prize away, a part of me along with my pants.

They were pulled down, tangling up at in my ankles with a quick tug, and I was vulnerable. Tangled and exposed -

Just like Derek had -

Laughter.

I let them go, I reached for him -

My hands closed around his neck, and I twisted, swinging my body, my hips, with every inch of force I had, his gloating growls became a sharp yelp as he smashed into the tree.

My enemy struggled, flipping, twisting - shredding my forearms with his claws, I didn't let go. Smashing his spine against the trunk with a grunt that was rewarded me with a pained squeal - he stopped attacking me, eyes full of regret -

Trying to escape.

I swung again, and this time there wasn't a sound, not a struggle. I felt his fight end as he went limp and I released my grip.

Panting, scooting away in surprise - I stared at my hands, at all the blood splashed across my body like paint that covered far more of me then my clothes did. I felt the missing 15 HP from our struggle, my flesh felt so wrong where it was shredded, blood spurted out from a loosed and I stared down at the mess.

I held my arms out pitifully, the air bit at raw nerves that should have hurt more, but somehow had already received the numbing kiss of a needle and now just awaited suture. My father wouldn't be reaching for the superglue and tape if he saw me, but the bag he kept in the truck.

I felt all the pain - I forced myself to savor it. I forced myself to stare at the gore of my injury and see it for what it was. A wet reminder that I was still alive. I couldn't love it, it was too horrible, too cold. But I let myself understand it, and what it meant.

Victory, my first victory.

I had fought brutally against a foe. Against this conniving Bastard, not to run and escape but to win - I did.

I was better.

I licked my lips, tasting the sweat beaded there along with the thick saliva of my exertion, my struggle - ropy and sharp. Wild.

I am alive, that's what it tasted like. My body trembling with adrenaline I'd never tried a drug, addiction, that pulse of power. How could he not smile. How did he keep it to only a half-grin? I'd felt that creatures jaws snap tight around my life and I ripped it back, out of his reach, and then I took his for myself!

He jerked and I flinched back as he twisted, I shouted in surprise, met with a hiss before he dashed toward the bugged tree I'd been watching -

My hands locked onto the leg before I knew I was lunging, diving to clasp around rough flesh, my injured arms forgotten, but in the slickness of my blood I felt the leg slipping as my hands slid down the thigh, caught on the floating knee cap he was going to escape!

*Crack*

It squealed. I pulled him to me ignoring the somersaulting on the ground, the three legs still trying to dance away -

*Crack*

Two front legs, trying to crawl out of my reach, squeaking, digging - anything to get away -

*Crack* *Crack*

He collapsed -

He blinked up at me shocked, had never imagined -

I shook my head slowly, looking down. I rolled him onto his back...

"Turtle...Turtle..." I reminded him.

I carried my prize back with me the short walk to my pit, crouching down - I laid my enemy across from me -

Then I wrung my hands, still imagining the feel of it's hide, the reminder of the popping bones shivered across my flesh with empathetic goosebumps of guilt.

In the fight I wasn't thinking, for the first time I just -

What? Defended myself?

I hurt something. I don't cause pain, because I know. How much it hurts...There's never an excuse, pain is evil, pain is bad. I'm not, I'm -

Weak.

I looked at the twisted legs with disgust, felt the sickness rising in my throat - imagined how awful it was for the creature, I didn't want to be a -

Pussy.

It's against the rules!

Laughter

Before my eyes the legs began to untwist, to pop back into place - retaking shape. The dazed eyes clearing -

I did it again. Without a thought.

*Crack Crack Crack Crack*

Pain!

Flinching back, like doing it had burnt me, like it should have. Was this really what I've been afraid of the whole time? Causing pain - I'd always accepted it, like a gift. I was so selfish.

I never gave any of it back. It was always all mine. How greedy of me, when it felt...so good.

To share.

Wasn't that a rule, too. The golden rule - still a part of me scratched, itched that I still didn't understand. Something more important then a rule...

I remembered my father, taking me hunting.

Bang!

The giant leap, the deer soars so high I swear it will clear the moon, my relief rising in it's rush - as my father missed!

He doesn't.

He strung up the buck by the legs, on the branch above us. My hands are shaking, the blade already slick with sweat.

I feel his solid strength engulf my trembling hand, steading it - the stolid voice you can hear across any room, he guides my cuts - telling me what needs to be done.

I squint my eyes, I look away as blood leaks out -

I can feel it - my resistance. I'm tearing through a layer of life to reveal a deeper truth, a mystery, the the glistening guts that make up -

I puked then, as I almost do now. I'm not even reaching for guts, not even to that part yet.

My hand carves as I lean against his strength, of a memory I tried so hard to forget. He's almost here with me, supporting me.

'Once under the skin you lift up - out...Cut the least to save the most - make a plan for what's important, before you pull the trigger...Use slow, firm pressure - be strong, Son...You don't have to enjoy it, not all of life is fun, but it'll be easier with thicker skin.'

I looked down at my hands, the long panel of hide still wet and glistening. The gnarled brown skin is tough and sturdy, closer to the tread of a tire than any animal I've ever touched. My jeans, just cloth - tissue paper compared to this.

Could I find more? I saw now why it didn't fear the bugs - had ran for the shelter of the tree.

I moved to the rear legs, peeling off the much smaller strip I could hopefully use to cover my arm - I froze. The skin moved.

I thought it was dead! That it would just...expire, and...but, the eyes flicker - clear, staring up at me as I hold the wet blade of the scissors.

I raise them up above me, ready to plunge down into the softness of the revealed abdomen where the hide was gone. Was gone.

My eyes widen as the tough skin grows back, stretching and expanding just like my hand had! Whole and unblemished, not even a scar!

Of course it grew back! It was just skin! I had watched the legs un-break, but it's just...so much, did that mean a whole hand could grow back? What about an eye?

And the skin of it. It was the same. Just as thick as before...

And I didn't feel guilt, because it wasn't just a lesson he had been teaching me. It was something so much deeper. Deeper than laughter. Deeper even, than pain. It was why, as it consumed me something else took over, something else moved me -

Not a lesson. A law.

The Law of Survival -

And if I'm going to survive?

I need thicker skin.

So I told myself what I was doing was right. Even good.

Until I got the Ability.