Every morning I'm greeted by Ma already in the kitchen, Making oatmeal. Today is no different. Seems no matter how bad things get, There is the one thing I can always count on. Ma's oatmeal, hot and fresh, the smell greeting me the moment I wake up.

"Good morning Levi, thank you again for giving me your room last night. Did you sleep okay in the barn?"

"I was comfortable enough. But had a hard time sleeping regardless."

"With all going on I had trouble sleeping too. I went in and checked on Dad a few times. Did some tidying up. keeping my mind busy, in all honestly, I probably could have slept if I had spent any time actually in bed. Which reminds me, Why are there muddy clothes under your bed?"

I don't want to lie to my Mother. Not that I ever could. She can always tell. Says I do something with my face whenever I lie. But flat out refuses to tell me what, because then I'll stop. Seeing no other options and not wanting to make things worse. I tell her. I tell her everything. I even including going out last night. Sneaking into Susanna's house and nearly getting caught by Yoder. Her expression doesn't change during all this. I'm trying to get a read on how she feels about any of it. I try to rationalize that maybe she'll see my side of it. Maybe she'll agree it's a great way to gain insight into what we can expect next for Dad. She remains expressionless and silent for a few moments after I finish talking.

Tears being to stream down her face.

"Levi, how could you. I raised you better than this. Everything that's going on and you go and make matters worse. Sneaking around at night peeping into people windows. Breaking into their homes. And trying to hide it from your own mother. How can I trust you now? Go. Go pray for forgiveness. I know God can find it in his heart to forgive you. But I'm not sure yet that I can."

I storm out of the house. This went far worse then I could have ever expected. I know everything I had done was wrong. But I was doing it all for the greater good. I thought given the situation she could understand, or at least try too. I thought even if she didn't she'd forgive me. I thought she would always be on my side. Yes I was sneaking around and lying. But so is Yoder. I wouldn't even have to if he wasn't doing the same thing in the first place. We have a right to know what's going on in our own homes. Yoder should be the one to have to go pray for forgiveness, not me.

Still obliged to do my work I go to the Fisher's. Wasting no time knocking on the door, announcing my presence. I head straight into the corn field. Maybe I can get most of it done before they notice me. I don't want Rebecca helping me today. I don't even want to see her. Or anyone else.

Picking the corn passes the time well enough. Gives me a chance to calm down, and realize Ma might be doing the same. Perhaps it was just the initial shock making her so upset. Not just from my actions, but of my findings as well. silver, glowing, flowing vomit would upset anyone. I feel a bit better thinking we can reconcile our differences this evening. In the mean time I'm getting real sick of all this harvesting. Whose to say any of us will even be around to eat any of the food we already have in a week. let alone the surplus from the harvest.

I'm finished by Mid afternoon, If the Fisher's noticed I was out here. they didn't come greet me. It dawns on me that I am starving, having skipped breakfast and lunch. The hunger is becoming too much to ignore. But I don't want to go home yet. Ma will need more time to cool off. I need to find food fast.

I knock on the Fisher's door. I'll tell them I've been here a for hours and finished the work. Saying I came very early in the morning so I did not want to knock and disturb them. Figuring a hearty corn soup or something similar will be waiting for me inside. Instead however my knock is met with no answer.

Knowing the routine at this point I don't stand around debating morality, and just walk right in. My suspicions are immediately confirmed in a really unfortunate way. Poor Rebecca must have been trying to get up to bed when Susanna's flu struck her down. laying in a contorted heap at the bottom of the stairs. I can hear her heavy breathing, Confirming the fall didn't do too much damage. Though it sure looks uncomfortable.

I straighten her out into a more natural position on the floor, and head up the stairs. As expected, Mr.Fisher is in the bed, his wife laying beside him. Same position as everyone else so far propped up, eyes open. Someone has been positioning these people like this. I figure that someone is probably Yoder. If I had to guess why, I'd say it's likely to prevent them from chocking on their vomit. I look again at Rebecca, now laying on her back staring straight up at the ceiling. I consider propping her up like the others. But don't want to make it obvious that I know more than I should. So, I roll her on to her stomach, Head cocked to the side.

My hunger still making its self known, I head to the kitchen and prepare myself a sandwich. Remembering Rebecca has two younger sisters, I search the house to make sure they are well positioned. I check all the rooms and call out their names, but there is no sight of them. If they are here they'll be scared, and may be hiding. I looked under the beds in there room, but find nothing.

In Rebecca's room I'm more thorough. Looking under the bed I reach in and pull out the few clothes that they may be hiding behind. I notice the clothes are worn and smell like Rebecca. I also notice myself smiling as I pull them out. This isn't right, I go to her closet, quickly pushing her clothes out of the way to see if the girls are hiding behind them. Trying to ignore that the fresh smelling clothes are making me smile even more. I tell myself it's natural. It has nothing to do with Rebecca, I've just never been in a girls room before. Save for Susanna's last night. But never in the day light, looking through their things. This doesn't help to wane my shame. I leave her room and head to her parents.

Standing in the doorway the uncomfortable display works to snap me back to reality. There is no risk of making them scream. Because there would be no consequence. But still, it's something I would rather avoid. Going no further than the doorway I lay down and look towards the bed. I don't see the girls under there. I look towards the closet, the doors are open, I don't see any little legs peeking out beneath the clothes. I whisper the girls names, but there is no reply.

On the stairs making my way out I reassure myself. They were probably sent to stay with their aunt while Rebecca took care of her parents. Stepping over Rebecca, laying there on the floor. I think about moving her again. I could lug her up the stairs and set her up face down on her bed. It would look natural enough as to not raise suspicion. Crouching down to do just that, she smells exactly like the clothes under her bed. Fearing where this may lead me, I leave her on the floor and exit the house.

Yoder never gave me a specific time for when he wanted to meet. Now seems as good a time as any, I should tell him about the Fishers. Though he no doubt already knows about the parents, He wouldn't know about Rebecca yet, And I can tell him about the girls. If they are hiding somewhere in the house. They'll come out when he comes around. I don't trust him in all of this. But at least I know he'll make sure they are being well taken care of.