Ladies and gentleman, after years upon years of waiting, I am now proud to announce that the end of the line is finally in sight ! Only a few kilometer now separate us from our final goal, reincarnation !

Wouhou, yeah, youplaboum and all that.

But please stay calm, for our grand arrival shall be told another time. Now is the time to share with you all the information that I painstakingly gathered over those years.

Numero uno, do not trust anything. This whole line is basically the chinese whispers game, all information get more or less distorted during the transmission, to the point that some don’t even make sense anymore.

Numero duo, we previously told you that the only way to increase the strength of a soul is through reincarnation. This information was actually both correct and incorrect. The only way to strengthen is actually through encountering new things, people and situations, as experiencing those things will slowly but surely refine your soul.

Why ? No fucking idea ... probably some lunatic author said so and everybody just nodded their head like “Yeah, that’s seems shitty enough, let’s do that”.

Anyway, now you would surely tell me ‘Hey, now that you have hope to become a badass soul that can kick the ass of anyone in it’s way, do that !’ and you would be right if this whole plane was not empty as fuck and boring as hell.

There is simply no way for one to experience their youth here …

Thus, ipso facto, no way to strengthen a soul. Reincarnation is still our only hope …

But fear not, for information numero tre brings hope back to the plate.

Now introducing our new game mechanic, soul energy !

Tadaaaa ….

Basically, it’s mana, the stronger a soul, the more you can have at once in your body. This energy allows one to bend the laws of the universe to it’s will, to make object appear out of thin hair, to beat the crap out of peoples, to change appearance, … Pretty much anything really …

It's like a swiss knife … a ‘magic’ swiss knife ...

*insert mind blown gif*

Even better, rumour has it that the higher ups, those we call gods around here, can stock this energy in battery like devices. They can then use it as currency to buy things around … or to dominate the universe with unlimited power, depending on their wishes at the moment.

But this does not concern commoners like me and probably never will sooo … Numero quattro

Mark and me have further bonded, to the point that he can now read my thought.

“Right Mark ?”

“Yup, whatever you say”

See, isn’t that amazing, we have certainly come a long way together.

Also this just in, Janine still mute.

“Right Janine ?”

“...”

Now, numero cinque :

According to rumors, It appears that floaty soul dispose of a small compartment that allow them to carry small object inside themselves.

Much like a human butthole, except without the additional prostate stimulation.

I can kinda feel it somehow but, unfortunately, since none of us seems to posses such an object, this piece of news couldn’t be verified. We apologise in advance to any viewer in case this is later proven untrue.

Now moving on to our top story today with our final piece of incredible news :

It appears that, against all expectation, the higher up may actually give a shit about the line !

The closer you get to the end, the tighter the security is. This is made so that nobody can cut in line near the beginning. The only reason they don’t check all the way to the end is because that shitty line is way too fucking long.

Fortunately when your are spawned in this plane, you are by default spawned near the end of the line, because it’s week's walk away from here …

We can thus proudly announce that our little group of three has now entered the blessed heaven of the 'safe zone’, a place where security is so tight that our coming reincarnation is now guaranteed.

And nothing, absolutely nothing, in this whole universe, can now prevent us to access reincarnation and leave this damned place.

“Isn’t that right Mark ?”

“Yup, goddamn right”

You heard Mark, now see you soon for the grand reincarnation !