《Beware of Zombies》Lawyers are like Gods but wives? Haha, they ARE Gods..
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There was a swarm of ulgy-ass, giant birds. The kind you see in dinosaur movies and know, someone about to die. About to be fed back to baby birds, entrails eating out while they are screaming for mercy.
I glanced back, the thought of going back in at the forefront of my mind.
Hannah’s crinkled eye glare made my stomach crumple. She stood tapping one foot, hand on hip, her other hand clenched into a fist, the tug of her lips said she had thousands of words to say. None of them were for my liking.
I took an even bigger gulp. Swallowing down my man card, I turned to the swarm that was descending towards me at rapid pace.
Run and put up with her nagging?
Fight hundreds of hungry looking birds?
This wasn’t even a choice. Fighting the man-eating birds was the easiest choice. I wouldn’t have to worry about scraping my pride off the pavement. Check random garbage cans for my dick.
I pushed out a thick webbing of electrical webs, expanding until it was six meters in length surrounding me. A bow formed in my hand and I began shooting down birds like this was a normal day at the range.
“Gentlemen, do not go onto the roof, right now.” I bark over the comms.
“I’m sorry, were you expecting us to help you with the man-eating birds? I apologized but my wife called, said I need to be home asap.” Ralph gave a dry laugh.
“Wow, what mighty big balls you have there, friend.” I mocked.
“Hey, your girlfriend is standing there at the hole you made. She looked mighty pissed. Did I mention she had some kind of ability. Whatever she says is law? Yeah, someone tried to pull her away and she said ‘sit’. The bastard hit the floor so hard, I think his ass indented.” Ralph chuckled.
I wiped the cold sweats off my brow and glanced back to see, she was indeed standing there.
Why was she so scary?
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Fuck, lawyers were already scary and now she has such a stupid op ability?
Which one of us was a god?
Picking up my slowly scattering dignity, I created a spear and shot into the swarm. If my field didn’t fry them, my spear cut them down. I twirl and danced like I was walking on the ground. Cutting down these fuckers like they were the way to amp up my man card.
Just a mere glance back was enough to spur me on harder. Turning me into a blinding flash of light. I didn’t care that the swarm was fleeing. I fled with them.
“Fuck, you think I’m scary. Look at the lady glaring at me. Who's scarier?” I muttered.
One of the birds, ‘squawk.’
“Hey, you can come back now. The helicopters enroute.” Ralph giggled.
I had this super danger sense. She was standing next to him. Why did she scare me so much? Oh my god, my paradise is going to be ruined. Should I flee back really fast and get the last of it out?
“Hey, there are ten evolved grey skins standing on the other roof. I think they are going to attack the helicopters.” Dennis broke me out of my cowardice.
It took me a second to return and noticed the same thing. I glanced at our roof to see a pile of people gathering there but Ralph's big form was easy to make out. Hannah standing right behind made it even scarier to proceed forth.
I did the best thing in my case. I flew down to the other roof. Like a bolt of lightning, I was going to land super impressive. Do a pose like superman floating down slowly, arms cross, that bang dancing on his forehead.
Less impressively, they smack me out of the air with a boulder. My body smashed through the glass window. I rolled head over hills and only stopped after going through two offices. Landing before a table to see two people fucking. The guy on guy because I didn’t see any tilts where my head was. Which was awkwardly between their legs.
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“Oh, hey there. Keep going don’t mind me.” I said innocently.
They were frozen there, staring at me with a mixture of fear and embarrassment.
“Dudes, you might want to finish up. Rescue will be here in twenty.” I winked.
Flexing my shoulders and neck as I stood up.
“I still look good, right?” I said offhandedly, glancing around for a mirror.
The top guy nodded his head, speaking as if he had a mouth full of saliva. “Pretty hot but might want to wipe the dust out of your hair.”
I bent down and pointed my head at them. They both stared at each other before wiping my hair and shoulders. They quickly pulled up their pants and I winked at them before flashing out the building.
I guess I ruined their mood. Haha, awkward.
I built up a large spear in my hand and the moment I broke past the edge of the building, I launched the thunder spear.
“You want to slap me like a bitch? Well eat this bitch!” I whispered so nobody would hear my loss of pride.
The thicker than Shaq spear slammed into the roof. I watched it explode and the grey skins hide behind a rather small one. I caught a hint of a ripple before they fell.
A barrier?
I rained down lightning bolts onto the building. Picking up rubbled and slamming it down onto top of them. I didn’t stop until there was a sand bit below me with pieces of metal poking out. Even then I turned the whole thing into ugly ass glass, just to make sure they know. Slapping me like a bitch was a no-no.
“Hey, I know you lost your pride being slapped out the air like that… but is that not a bit overkill?” Ralph said with a healthy dosage of respect.
“Don’t know what you are talking about.” I replied a bit out of breath.
“Hey, I just want to point out that you might have fuck up. Now you don’t have anything to stop you from talking to your girlfriend, right?” Ralph teased. “She looks mighty fierce right now. Her eyes are glowing this weird gold color and I have seen her bite her lip more than three times. I think she wants to jump your bones.”
I glanced back to see Ralph was at a distance from her. The crowd had huddled into one side of the roof with some in the stairwell. Helicopters were clear on the horizon.
My mouth felt dry as I saw that brown eye star tinted with gold.
“Hey, where is Dennis? I think he needs my help.” I said with a parched throat.
“No, thanks.” He replied super fast.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I took a deep breath and dropped down onto the roof. Swing my bangs out my eyes, making sure people caught my dimpled smile that vanished upon seeing the mockery in Hannah’s eyes. I coughed and held out my arms.
“Hey, babe. Sorry about earlier. I just saw my mother and got super stunned then excited. Haha, you remember me telling you about how I never had a mother figure. Come, come. Babe, forgive me?” I beg.
Her lips twisted into a smug smirk and I knew she didn’t forgive me for her eyes still held that intensity. Her brows were too relaxed, lawyers were never relaxed. Plus her stance was like, ‘hey, you are safe now because people are around. Once we get somewhere private, you’re going to learn what hell is.’
I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. Acting like I never wanted to part with her but I was sure my face was crying.
Ralph gave me a thumbs up before lining people up as the first helicopter pulled up at the crest of the roof. The foot thing hovering parallel with the roof’s edge.
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