The sound of my cries was muffled by my hand over my mouth to prevent from humiliating myself further. He made me do what I never want to, he made me feel so defiled and corrupt as it feels like my soul can never be purified again. I felt immense hate and repulsion for him. He made me hate him so much. He is the worst form of a human, he is a cruel guy with no compassion for anyone. I want to run away to a deserted place and cry out loud. I want to be away from him as much as possible.

I constantly begged this insensitive guy to spare me some dignity and do what he pleases at home; I will quietly submit but he didn't listen. How in the world did he come to know I hate PDA in the first place? It's like he knew what I hate the most and doing what exactly I despise, he wanted to crush any chance of giving our relationship a chance- which never existed in the first place.

After struggling for a while, I stopped my cries and wiped my tears. I washed my face and sniffed to calm myself. I looked at him with eternal resentment.

"I hate you." I hissed. He looked at me for a second and rolled off his eyes.

"It's a toxic marriage." He said calmly adjusting his tie. I looked at my reflection. I felt so shattered, even breathing is suffocating me, I feel like I have died so many times. He humiliated me, he has proven that he is a devil with no feelings other than breaking people and receiving pleasure from it.

"Stop acting like this. What we did is no different from what we would have done at home." He said nonchalantly. "Then we should have done it at home!" I shouted but he put his index finger on his lips and gave me a stern look to shut me up, "Up for a round two? No. Then keep your mouth shut." He warned me which stiffed me in fear. Tears threatened to fall but I held them back and turned my gaze away from him.

"I hate PDA and you forced me to have sex with you right here in this sophisticated party," I whispered, hugging my sides. "So what?" Ruthless beast.

He walked to me, My heart skipped a beat in great apprehension about his round two talk. I don't think I can take it anymore. He put his hands on either side of me, I convulsed under his piercing gaze. I gulped and didn't raise my gaze. "Wear your clothes and do something about your appearance." He ordered. I shivered ferociously and gave him a nod. He moved back. I wore my dress again, I was trying to pull up the zipper but it was stuck. After struggling, Christian helped me to pull the zipper. He didn't let go of the zipper, I whimpered softly, looking the other way. He growled over my neck and said authoritatively, "Don't you dare to tell your mother about anything which happens between us." I shuddered when I heard it. My heart picked its pace, scared to no extent.

He turned me to him and continued, "If You do-" I quickly said, "I won't tell anyone.." I was horrified. He hummed and pulled away.

I then made myself look presentable and was about to walk out but he held my wrist and walked out with me. I bit my cheek and bear the revolting feeling in me. With crushed dignity and a heavy heart, I was feeling utterly ashamed and depraved. I felt my world crashed and there's nothing left for me as I have lost myself in the pools of guilt, hatred and disgust.

People stare at my demeaning form as we leave the party.

We reached home and I held my tears so far. I ran away to our room and locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry out loud.

I let out the loudest cries of my life. I was crying like someone dear to me died. I let out my sobs of despair. I continued to cry so loudly. I want to scream at my suffering. You have given me those scars that will never heal as they leave a deep mark of dis-relish in my heart. You have pushed me deeper in sorrows leaving me depraved. I leaned on the door as I fell on the ground, the sound of my misery was deafening but it seems like it was ignored by everyone and I have to spend my life with a heartless guy who can easily overwhelm me in grief. My body was burning in the fierce fire of everlasting feelings of hatred and contamination. The way he touched me, the way made me feel those disgusting feelings, they are so toxic that I don't think that I can be purged again as I'll be left with those polluted sensations.

Congratulations Christian, You were successful in defiling me. You broke me...

Christian POV:-

We reached home and Sophie ran away. All the emotions she was trying to hold burst as she moved away and ran away to let it out the misery inside her.

I remained motionless as I felt the earth beneath my feet swallowing me up. I loosen my tie and sat on the sofa. I grit my teeth in anger because I did something that caused me to fall low in my own eyes.

I broke her.

What have I done? I promised to protect her. I have protected her from this world all this time, I kept her safe and now I am the one who did to her. I got so lost in the fear that she might be able to figure out that I want her to hate me and because of it, I lost my senses and did something what I never wanted. I broke her body and soul. I tainted her, the look of deep detest and contamination was clear in her eyes. I just lost myself in those insecurities that are preventing me from saving both of us. I covered my mouth with my shaky hands, lost in the bottomless pit of turmoil.

I didn't feel relieved this time, I felt broken. I felt repentant for my deed. I went too far. I shouldn't have done this.

I know she is too shattered to even see my face. I want to punish myself for doing something that never crossed my mind all this time. I understand I can't love her but I can't contaminate her like this too.

To be honest, No one heard us because I asked Tyler to not let anyone come near there. I just want her to break the single chance of being loved and in doing so, I corrupt both of us.

I stood up and went to our room to check up on her, When I held the doorknob, the resonant sound of her cries reached my ears as I bit my tongue, my heart skipped a beat in dread and I felt so morally corrupt for doing something this low. How can I do this? The sound rang in my ears and I felt myself being deluged in penitence. But what's done is done.

Neither my repentance nor her tears can bring back her lost dignity now.

The virtue I broke. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I shouldn't have done this.

Filled with crushing remorse, A tear escaped from the corner of my eyes as I left the house filled with intense hatred and disgust for myself...

Fuck You. You heartless bastard. You pathetic excuse! I mentally cursed myself.

I know my acts are unforgivable and no matter what, I can't justify myself. I have done such low-level acts.

When did I become that cold? I was never like this. What took over me? I have tormented her for something she never did.

Intimidating her, I can still get it but what I have done now is degraded.

I need to talk to someone. Someone who will show me what I should do. I went to see Tyler. I can't go to Aunt Skye, she'll hate me if she comes to know what I have done to her daughter. What if Sophie tells her? Knowing her, I know she won't. Not after I told her not to.

Tyler looked surprised when he saw me. I went inside as he asked,

"What happened man? The party has just finished, so does yours." He smirked as I looked down and began to say,

"Tyler.. listen.. I want to tell you something..." I trailed off, he nodded and took a seat beside me.

"Is everything alright? Did Sophie throw you out?" He joked as I took a deep breath and told him everything that has happened now. He already knew about the promise and Merlin's betrayal, he is also aware of my apprehensions. He knew almost everything about me.

I finished and looked at him. He was stunned for a second but soon he exploded,

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? WHEN DID YOU BECAME LIKE THIS?!" He was beyond angry.

"You're such a chivalrous guy, what took over you. When did you start attempting such inferior acts? How could you do this to her? Are you the same person who crossed every limit just to save her? What wrong she has done that you did this, just because she is yours that doesn't mean you can do something like this. I get it you are scared but Christian, it's far too much. Here, I cannot even talk to my crush let alone force her into an affliction like this even though I can and you... You asshole.

How much of an idiot I was, If I know about your intentions, I would never let you go to the restroom." I kept looking down in shame as he continued,

"You fulfilled your promise but that doesn't give you the right to degrade her. If Aunt came to know about it, she'll be devastated. You know that you guys are made for each other and still disregard that fact. I never stopped you loving Merlin but what happened, she cheated! And here is the girl, who was yours since the beginning and you reject her love. You neglect her and not just this you..." He was exasperated. He is a guy of short temper and when he came to know about what I did, he almost took out his gun in anger because he never thought I would do something like that, especially with her. I couldn't find words to speak.

"You know what? You deserve to be locked in a dark room for at least a week to feel what she felt." He said and rubbed his temples. He then glared at me and threatened,

"If you attempt any low act, I swear I'll tell Aunt Skye everything about what happened and I will also tell Sophie the real reason for your marriage.." I remained silent.

"You're an Idiot!"

Sophie POV:-

The next day, I woke up feeling utterly void and defiled. Not having enough strength to move, I remained still. I am grateful that he didn't come last night. Feeling numb, I stayed in the room as tears rolled down my cheeks and I remained motionless like a lifeless doll. The door knocked,

"Ma'am, Breakfast is served," Gwen said. I closed my eyes and replied,

"I am not hungry..."

I feel like my body is on fire and was being stabbed again and again and no matter how much I want to cry, I couldn't as I am deprived of power. Defiled, shattered, hated...

Falling deeper into the abyss with no intentions of being saved. Losing myself in that deliberate hate arouse by your upheaval. You got so lost in making me hate you that you tore me and left me devoid. I stare aimlessly at the ceiling feeling eternal hate for him. The distraught evoked by his unpleasant acts is filling my mind. The fiery fire of this toxic marriage burned me to ashes and there's nothing left. Overwhelmed by the heartbreak of having a loveless life is stirring my mind. My mind is in a state of calm chaos, wreaking havoc which can't be seen by anyone. A tormenting life filled with endless tribulations giving me immense distress. The consternation of this grief is too much for my vulnerable form to bear.

Desiring liberation from this hell, I remained like this for quite a while, preparing myself to ask him to free me. Time flew by and before I knew it, it was evening and I hadn't moved. I walked out of the room and my heart skipped a beat in the apprehension of facing that revolting guy. My very soul trembles just at the thought of seeing him again but I know I can't avoid him forever as he'll come anytime, dragging me away with him to taint me again leaving me both emotionally and physically broken... like always.

Since I haven't eaten anything at all, I felt weak.

After eating, I asked Gwen, "Where's Christian?" Even saying his name made me feel disgusted.

"I don't know." I nodded and stood up to leave. Determined enough to be released again, I walked around the house. I want to live my previous life, even if Eugene won't recover, I can't take it anymore, it's unbearable.

I walked around and heard a sniff. I stood and turned to see no one. I stood there and heard it again. It was coming from a room.

Mustering some courage, I pushed the door open, it was a dark room, I saw the silhouette of a person sitting on the floor... crying?

I heard another sniffle and turned on the lights only to find out Christian there.

He was trembling in fear, he gasped when he looked at me,

"Turn off the lights!" He shouted. I cannot find words to explain what's in my mind. No words can describe what crossed my mind. A sudden knot was felt by my heart by seeing him like this. He is the last person I want to see this. I cannot fathom what I saw.

He was sitting on the floor hugging his knees, quivering like crazy. Swallowing hard, I walked closer and looked at him. His face was hidden in his knees.

"Turn off the lights... I deserve it.." He sobbed. The sound of his cry made my heart heavy. He made me cry so much then why did his cries make me sad too? I should be happy and let him suffer, but I am not cruel like him. I bend and called his name softly,

"Christian..." I hesitantly put my hand over his back as he flinched, he looked at me with those teary eyes. A strong smell of alcohol filled my nostrils. Is he drunk?

"I hurt you... I deserved to be punished." He said. His body was trembling violently, his cheeks glistened with tears, he was in a state of ravage. Why is he doing this to him? Just at the party, he was unaffected and now he is filled with incomprehensible penitence.

"You're afraid of the dark? Do you suffer from... Nyctophobia?" I asked. He nodded and wiped his tears and said,

"yes... I do... that's why I want to inflict that sanction in me. I hurt you. I was so lost in my fears that I broke you. I deserve this." My lips formed a thin line as I remained still with two choices.

Leave him and let him suffer or soothe him.

Here I was looking for him for liberation and...

I inhaled and slowly rubbed his back,

"Why are you scared?" I asked faintly.

"I am afraid of your love, of my love. I am frightened of loving someone because people I love leave me, Merlin, mother, everyone.." He began to cry again. My expression softened looking at him like that. I sat beside him as I continued to rub his back. After a brief silence, he spoke up again,

"You know why there's a ceiling fan only in this room?..." I looked up and saw a fan and shook my head no. He let out an empty laugh and said, "There used to be our sweet home right here and right here my mother attempt suicide by hanging herself from the fan. This room is the most frightening in the mansion." I felt so bad for him, I pity him. His words are so heartbreaking. I don't even want to know how sorrowful it must be.

"There was darkness everywhere, I used to call for help but no one came.. not even you. I Cried for help, I was so alone... When you were mine then why didn't you come to save me?" He cried. What? I want to ask him what he is talking about but I decided not to.

"But, I am here," I said as I looked at him.

"When you hate me then why aren't you letting me suffer?" I formed a sad smile and lower my gaze,

"Because I know what suffering is and I don't want anyone to go through that.. not even you.." He stared at me for a second and suddenly hugged me, I was taken aback by his action as I moved my hands away from him and dread took over me under his touch. Get Away... I don't care about your condition. Don't you dare to touch me after what you have done?

"I never want to hurt you. I was never like this. I don't want to." He wept again. He began to cry out loud and I felt my heart stabbed his words; they are painful. I pressed my palm on the ground as I bit my lips not wanting to feel any compassion for him. He doesn't deserve any pity from me and I will never give him.

"Everyone says that you can save me from those apprehensions but I am far too insecure. I think that you'll leave me too. That the moment I fall for you, I can no longer hold you close. I am scared!" This is overwhelming for me, I cannot bear to listen to these words. I don't want to feel any sympathy for him. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I remained like that trying to console him with nothing but a shush.

"You think I have hurt you but your presence also hurt me and I lost myself in that and did the unwanted to you. Whenever I look at you, I get terrified that you might save me and then break me and I unintentionally did a lot of wrong things to you. Even if my deeds are unforgivable but please forgive me. Please... I strayed from my path. Please forgive me... I broke my promise."

Not wanting to hear any of those because I know they might melt my heart. I remained silent and helped him to stand.

I wrapped his one hand around my shoulder and mine to his waist and took him to our room. He is drunk, it's better to forget that anything like this ever happened. I am sure neither I nor he wants to remember it.

I put him on the bed and removed his coat then his shoes. I was about to leave but he held my hand and gave me a pleading look,

"Please don't leave, just for today.. hold me close. Please. Please. Please. Please. " he continued to plead. I gave him an infuriated look not wanting to feel his revolting warmth, I still haven't forgotten about last night. I pleaded with him just like that as he never took pity upon me. I begged you in the same way but what did you do? You shattered me! I kept begging but you never give a damn.

I looked at his devastating form for a while and gave him a look filled with hate and pulled my hand away and turned and left him there... all alone in the dark...