《Toxic Marriage》Chapter # 11
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I was sitting in the hall with a scowl. I pulled my hair in frustration. It's been a month of our marriage and I am amazed at the fact that I survived these dreadful days. Staying in this house filled with extreme horrors is causing me to lose my sanity. I felt so void- like a lifeless being. Used over and over again and breaking painfully slow, it's getting harder to stay normal; Either my fears or my depression eats me up.
Oh, Eugene, please recover quickly, I want to free myself.
I was already filled with intense loathe and abhor and Christian came here to ignite that fire more. He stood in front of me as I stood up and looked at him coldly.
"We are going to a party tonight." He said coldly.
"What party?" I asked with the same tone.
"A business party."
"There's no need for me to come then," I said looking away.
"You have to. You are my wife. Everyone wants to see my wife." He said as I lost myself.
A scornfully derisive laugh escaped my lips as I raised my eyebrow and sneered and looked at Christian who was giving me his usual icy look.
"Well, that's news to me that my worth is more than a mere toy." The sound of my laugh echoed through the empty hall, his eyes are sending me daggers to shut my mouth but I can't do it, at least, just for once, I want to talk back to him.
"I didn't know you considered me as your wife," I said putting a hand on my waist. Living in this hell has made me go insane, comprehending my fears or his intimidation is beyond my capabilities right now and I am thankful for it. The inferno, causing me to burn mercilessly is making me lose my senses and I am grateful for that.
"But you know what? I am fine being called a toy rather than being called your wife. Go alone, they don't want to meet a toy "
"Shut it, Sophie ." He said calmly but threateningly. My lips curved in a smirk as I mocked, "What? I only spoke the truth."
"You are testing my patience." He said in a low voice, holding his anger. I narrowed my eyes at him in anger and retorted,
"What else can you do other than intimidating and ruining me?" And I know that was the last straw as his jaw clenched and he took a step towards me. I, who has no intentions of facing his wrath. I turned and waved my hand and left saying,
"Don't worry, I'll abide by the requirements of the contract. I'll be ready."
I went to our room and grit my teeth in anger. I took a deep breath and fell on the bed and drifted to sleep but before I could feel the reprieve from this tormenting reality, I heard the creaking sound of the door being opened and then closed. My heart skipped a beat as I remained still, in this month, none of my emotions lowered but now I can hide them.
Even when my body was consumed with dread or repulsion, I remained still and cold. I was waiting for him to do anything but instead, I heard his voice,
"Since you have learned how to talk back, I need to elicit those fears again."
I let out an empty laugh and replied without opening my eyes, "Didn't you find this demeanour of mine amusing?"
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My words provoked him as he grabbed my wrist and I can feel his superior presence hovering over my inferior one. I didn't open my eyes but I can feel the anger emerging from him which is disrupting my mind.
"It's still amusing, but love..." He continued and moved to my ears, brushing his lips against my skin and letting out deep breaths evoking aversion and unwanted feelings in me.
"Those apprehensions..." He whispered in my ears and kissed my earlobe slightly. He put my hands above my head with his one hand while his other hand caress my cheek as he whispered on my neck this time,
"That disgust..." He kissed my neck and moved to my shoulder and kissed it and came again to my neck and then moved as I felt his breath on my lips this time,
"And especially this Hate..." He said huskily as our lips brushed against each other and he kissed me. He moved his lips slowly and with such tenderness which always made me think that it is affection but I know it's not. It's just his desires.
"All of them are bliss..." He completed his sentence.
I curled my toes not wanting to feel the heat emitting from him that will taint me more. I slowly opened my eyes and gave him the look he craved to see- Detest.
Letting out a quiet yet menacing laugh, he looks at me like he is so pleased to see that look. His eyes are almost relieved like always. It always lingered on my mind why he likes my hate. Why does he want me to hate him?
He moved back a little as I plopped on my elbows and looked at him,
"Why?" I asked. He raised his eyebrow as I completed my sentence,
"Why do you feel relieved when I look at you with hatred?" I asked him the question that was bothering me a lot. His expression turned into an astonished one for a second but it was soon replaced by such seriousness I have never seen before. It wasn't amusement or anger or dominance, It was such a severe serious look which caused adrenaline to rush through my veins. It was almost unbearable for me.
He held the collar of my shirt and pulled me close, "Tell me, which emotion do you feel for me?" His voice was so stern, it's scary. Not wanting to attempt any wrong move, I cautiously answered,
"Hate." I breathed out because whenever he heard it, he was pleased and it's the only way to escape his dire gaze of mystifying emotions...
"Good." He said as he let me go as I fell on the bed and he stood up.
"None other emotions should exist between us." He said and turned to leave.
"You are deliberately making me hate you, don't you?" I asked again. I am amazed that I said that; such an absurd question. I shouldn't have asked, not in this situation where he is losing his patience but I did.
He ignored my question and turned to look at me,
"Today, I'll embed the actual feeling of being used in you.." He announced as my blood turned cold.
"So you have decided to show your actual desires with or without my consent and sparing me some mercy?" I asked, jeering at him.
"Worst than that... at least for you.." He said and left.
My heart skipped a beat as I lost myself in the apparitions of what will happen to me. Oh my God, I evoked these thoughts in his mind, what he'll do is scaring me.
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But, when he said no emotions will be present between us and now he is the one wanting me to feel hatred for him. Giving me the reason to hate him more than I already do.
****
I looked at my aristocratic form which hides my despair and aversion behind those walls of makeup and expensive dress. I can see a different person there, truly gorgeous but I feel artificial. It's like silver coating on copper. I looked down as I walked out and looked at Christian who seemed flawless as ever. He scanned me for a second from top to bottom and his stare made me even more uncomfortable. I kept looking down and he asked,
"What happened?"
"It's just.. everything is a bit much, don't you think?" I said in a soft tone.
"Why?" He asked again, raising an eyebrow.
"It's... just.." I trailed off.
"Isn't what you desire?" He asked as he put his hands in the pocket of his pants and walked closer.
"I do... But.." My lips formed a thin line as I kept looking away.
Before I could say anything else, he wrapped his arm around me as he pulled me close.
"Don't hesitate. You deserve it." He said as I nodded and we left.
We stopped outside our destination as he looked at me,
"Beware and watch yourself. Don't do anything t-" Before he could say anything I said first because I know he'd say that does not disgrace him or something like that,
"I won't." He looked at me for a second and nodded. But, I am surprised he didn't show a sign like he is ashamed to take me with him.
"That can hurt you." He completed his sentence as I looked at him in disbelief, what is he talking about? I shrugged that thought off and took a deep breath and formed a satisfactory smile as we walked in. I can see everyone here is filthy rich. I never thought, the people, I used to serve, I'll be with them. My heart was racing from nervousness but still, I continued to smile.
Christian introduced me to a few people and it went pretty well. Soon after, he left me alone.
I took a non-alcoholic drink and took a seat as I began to drink it. I never knew it these parties are that boring. I wanna go home.
As I was enjoying my drink in solitude, someone decided to destroy it.
"Hey," I looked up and saw a guy, a raven-haired guy with blue eyes, I was introduced to a few moments ago, if I recall his name is Tyler Moretti. I flashed a smile as I stood up.
"Hi," I said. He offered me his hand as we shook hands.
"Well, You are more beautiful than I have heard about you," Tyler said as I smiled nervously. Did he know me?
"Do you know about me?" I asked.
"Yes, for a while ever since your relationship." My eyes widened for a second but soon I regained my posture.
"He stopped talking about you for the past few years but now he started it again." I continued to smile as I didn't like this conversation at all. Did he know me before? Before I could ask him anything else he spoke up again,
"Christian is my best friend, I have known him for years. I have known about your marriage. You know, the reason for it." He said. Feeling utterly embarrassed I said,
"Pardon? I don't get it." I said politely. He laughed a little and said again,
"I am amazed that guy fulfilled his promise. To be honest, you guys look good together." what promise? I let out a fake chuckle as I said, "Well thank you." He smiled sweetly and spoke up again,
"I am glad you guys are finally together. I know only you can liberate him from his fears."
"What fears?" I asked. What is he talking about? What fears? I never knew him then how can he know me? I don't recall meeting someone like them even once in my life. What is this?
"Hey, What are you doing?" Christian joined the conversation. I looked at him and then away.
"Nothing, just talking to my sister-in-law." He said. I continued to force a smile as my mind was lost in thoughts. I looked at Christian and said with fake sweetness,
"You told him about something I am not aware of?"
He looked at me for a second then turned his head to Tyler and glared at him.
"Don't you believe him, he was just playing around." He said monotonously.
"I know, just want to confirm." I smiled. After a few seconds of silence, Tyler asked,
"So, How's your married life?" I wrapped my arms around Christian's arm as I beamed,
"I feel blessed." Even if my heart stabs to say this but I have to.
"You should be, having all luxury from a middle-class life." A woman's voice joins the conversation. She was smirking mischievously, She was so pretty. She has long black hairs and the edges were dyed crimson, along with beautiful green eyes, her face reminds me of someone I hate deeply; the second wife of my fucking father. That bastard, his wife, her child, all of them to whom he left my mother and us.
I feel like I have seen her before but I couldn't remember but I know she can never be the one I detest. I pass a wide smile and retorted angelically,
"Well, my husband provides all this for me. Don't you think it's none of your business?" Her smile faded but soon after it came back as she stood beside Christian,
"You seemed skilled in manipulation." She sneered.
"Oh yes, I am. But I never need it. My love was enough." I gave Christian a cute look as he smiled at me. I truly hate arguing someone over this guy but I have to. Because no matter what, I am his wife- for others and I can't allow this. I don't know when I thought this but I just can't explain it.
"Well, Christian, I still remember how you love it when I make your coffee." She said as she put her hand over his shoulder. I suddenly remember that she is his ex-wife.
"I bet you don't even know what type of coffee he likes because you would be lost in your generous life." She tried to ridicule me. Christian looked away from me and gave that woman a void look,
"A coffee with milk and lots of sugar." I don't know why, but I said that proudly.
"You-" She was about to say anything but Christian cut her off,
"Merlin, Get away and leave me and my wife alone." He said in his usual dominant tone. I shivered when he said 'my wife' prominently. He smirked when he also felt my shiver. After she left, Tyler also excused himself. I got away from him and gave him a seething look.
"Who told you about my coffee?" He asked. I sighed and said,
"I cook dinner every day. I know you like coffee like this, a strong tea with cardamom, custard in desert and pasta in food" He was taken aback upon hearing this.
"When did you..?" I smirked at his reaction and said,
"When I was left in that house alone, I had no choice. I even know you like reading Lord of the Rings the most and you like animated movies." He was now even more shocked and a little bit embarrassed. But that didn't last long as he smirked and spoke up,
"I know you like dancing alone. You like speaking in a childish voice and later laugh on it. You like stargazing. You like running for no reason. You liked picking fights with other girls back at high school." My jaw dropped when I heard it. This time he smirked victoriously.
"You know me before, don't you?" I asked in a faint tone. He can't possibly know about me that much like this. His smirk faded as it seemed like some kind of realization hit him as his cold nature came back and he turned and left me alone.
"Moody," I mumbled under my breath and sat again.
I was enjoying my drink as the sudden realization hit me when I remembered him saying that he'll make me feel defiled. I shudder in dread. My body lost itself in terror when I felt his sharp gaze upon me, looking at me like a predator as his lips curved upwards in malevolence upon seeing me frightened. My legs went numb and I prayed, not wanting to go back home with him.
I stood up and went to the restroom to calm my racing heart. I stood in front of the mirror as I let out deep breaths and put a hand over my chest. My eyes widened in horror when I saw Christian leaning on the wall. My energy left my body when he smirked as his eyes shone with those evil intentions in them. Under the pressure of this sinister gaze, I clutched the hem of my dress tightly as my other hand held the counter tightly. My dried lips swallowed the lump in my throat as he closed the door and locked it. Becoming absolutely terrified by this action, my legs lost their power, I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't speak. My heart began to pound when he took a step closer.
"You remember what I told you earlier." His voice was dangerously low. My heart skipped a beat as I began to pant furiously. My hands and feet turned cold when he stood in front of me and put his hands on either side of me. My breath hitched when he leaned in and whispered,
"Just imagine, How much I will love it when you scream my name here. And how much humiliated you will feel when others will hear it." My eyes widened in dread, I shook my head no. But his smirk grew wider as he put his hand on my shoulder and tried to move the dress, I put my hand over my chest and didn't let him. I don't want it. Tears began to flow down without any halt over them as I began to let out sobs.
"Don't..." I whispered weeping. He took it as some sort of invitation to some wicked thoughts as he pressed himself against me. I flinched by his action as I was filled with nothing but repugnance. I continued to convulse by this feeling of being utterly helpless and corrupt.
"Shh.." He put his index finger on my lips as a horror-stricken shiver emerged from me and travelled to my very core.
"Remember, every sound you make is going outside.." He whispered again. But I am too petrified to comprehend as I sobbed again and plead him,
"Please Christian, I beg you. Please don't do this. Please... I don't want any intercourse outside the bedroom, please. Don't do this. I can't do it..." I continued to cry.
"And that's how I will taint your soul." He snarled with a suppressed laugh which immersed me in inexplicable distress and appall. His eyes flickered with malice as he held my hand and tried to push off the dress but I stopped him again, begging him to do whatever he wanted behind the door but not here but my cries meant nothing to him as he was determined to shatter me. He became irritated by my misery as my tears and cries turned oblivious to him. He looked at me with those infuriating onyx eyes.
"Remember, I decide, when and how I want you to please me." He hissed as I continued to cry, hoping that somewhere in his heart, he'll feel compassion and listen to me and won't degrade me but he is lost in showing me the superiority he has over me and I am at his mercy.
"Please Christian, I beg you. Please don't. Please, please, please. Do anything you want but please not here." I was crying at my agony which was filling me with dread.
He once again ignored me and continued to push down my dress but I pushed him away and tried to run away. He gripped my hairs and pinned me to the nearest wall. His intense eyes looked at my terrified one with extreme fury as I lost myself in that obsidian rage.
I startled when he leaned in and growled,
"How dare you try to resist me." I opened my mouth to beg him again but he spoke up first,
"Speak one more word and I'll show you what I can do." He scowled. The terrors he invoked within me became more fierce and deadly as they took my life out of me in such a lethal way that I won't be able to look at myself.
My back was pressed against his hard chest, sending unnerving shudders to my soul, stirring my mind in those unbearable thoughts of facing his wrath and lust. My quivering lips swallowed the lump in my throat when I felt him pulling down the zipper of my dress. Silent tears of distress rolled down my cheek. I put my one hand in front of me so that the dress won't fall while curling my other hand in a tight fist. He moved to my neck and implanted an intense kiss. I grit my teeth to not let a voice leave my lips. He unclasped my bra and traced his fingers over my back. Moving it up and down so slowly in a revolting manner, taking my life out of me.
Even after trying so hard to contain my emotions and those unbearable sensations, a sob escaped my lips. I lowered my head, trying to conceal my voice. His hand slid inside and roamed my exposed body as if he owned it- he does. I stood, shaking in repulsion and apprehension. How his fingers trace over my body, etching his name in every inch and taking me to the depth of the abyss.
I tried to plead him to spare me some mercy but to no avail. He turned ignorant of my whimpers as his ruthless form lost itself in showing me my place. His one hand travelled down while his other hand gripped my hairs, refraining my movements. His hot husky breath invoked dread from me, I lost myself in the ravage when he moved to my ears and said seductively,
"I'll show you how it feels to be defiled."
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