Standing up today I felt emotionally drained. I felt numb and tired. Still having the same clothes on of yesterday. I didnt even change after having dinner. I felt like crying out of embarrassment.

Seeing that she knew about the bullying and cutting, I didn't think I could face her. This is suppose to be meant as secrets. I just glad its finally the weekend, it felt as it has been an entire year already.

The fact that its only the first week of school and so much drama happen with Carla and Ms Isaacs. I never get a break, do I?

Why does everything got to be so difficult? And to top that all off, I have a crush on my English Teacher, the same person kinder cared about and what did I do, I do her to leave me alone.

Right now I just need another vacation because a month long vacation was clearly to short.

Sighing I laid in my bed thinking what I could do for the day.

I didn't have friends to go to the mall, so that thought is out. Call my cousins..... sike I don't have any of that that. I wish my aunt went and fetch kids.

Speaking about 'family' my aunt and uncle are out of the picture seeing as they just wanted to use me for my inheritance. Geez, you can't even trust your own family.

Something I would like to have to experience is a sleepover. I know childish, but someone that did never did anything remotely normal as a kid, I would that should be understandable.

Im really alone in this world, just wonderful. I'm really a sad person.

Turning on my side, I went to sleep again, there's nothing for me to do.

Before I realised the weekend passed by. All I did was sulk in my state of depression. I slit my wrists again.

Rrrrrrrrr

It's Monday. Ahhhhhhh I want to cry. Laying in bed I debated whether I should go to school or not. Deciding to go, I made my wag groggily to the bathroom, it personally felt like forever.

I took off my close and looked at the mess I caused to it. My belly has a muffin top. My hair was a mess, my eye bags seem to have got worst and dry blood stains on my wrist.

No way if to look at myself anymore, I made my way to the shower. I scrubbed my body clean and got out. I water burned my cuts so it was bleeding a bit.

I made my way to the basin opening the tap and brushed my teeth. Once done, I remove the bandages from the draw and wrapped my wrist up.

Walking out I went to my vanity and did my skincare. I hated my face but somehow I always did my skincare no matter what, weird. Putting on my underwear, I looked through my cupboard looking for what to wear. I decided to dress in a pair of blue mom jeans, a tank top and a jacket over it. My boobies looked quite good. Spraying myself with perfume, made my way out of my room.

Making my way to the kitchen, I looked in the fridge for something to eat. Nothing. I really need to go grocery shopping and get out of the house. Again I made toast and jam. But I have no complaints seeing as it is really good.

Once again I have to face my English teacher and Carla.

I wonder if miss Isaacs have a boyfriend. She never wore a ring so I assume she's not married. He is one lucky guy. Being able to kiss those plump juicy lips and just grab it between his teeth and tease her to a end were she just lose self control. In passion and lust.

Heat rise up in between my legs. I crossed it to relief some pressure.

Shaking my head to get rid of my thoughts, I made my way out of my house. I stopped contemplating whether I should walk or take my car.

Choosing the latter, I took my car. Seeing as I never almost used it, I just not want to walk amongst people today.

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