I woke the next morning, feeling regretful. It wasn't until I went to the bathroom that my mood lifted.

"Oh thank goodness!" I felt absolute relief. I cleaned myself up and answered my phone. That must have been what woke me.

"Hello?"

"So? I gave you more than enough time." Gabriel said.

I looked at the time on my phone before putting it back on my ear. "Well good morning to you too. It's only 6:30am here."

"Oh, I'll give you another two hours, then I'm going to bed."

"There's no need." I told her as I walked out of my room. "False alarm."

I heard Gabriel sigh out.

"You sound more relieved than me." I laughed.

"Are you relieved?" She gasped.

"Oh yes, I am. Really relieved. I don't want another baby. I have enough to deal with." I told her as I went to the kettle. "And if I don't get my coffee, I'm not dealing with anything."

Gabriel let out a laugh. "Alright. I've got essays to mark anyway. I'm pooped."

"I thought you were going to bed?" I asked as I placed a teaspoon of coffee in to my cup.

"Well, yeah, it's only 430pm Monday here. I had a huge weekend, turned up slightly hungover, I had screaming kids all day, work at home then bed. Don't judge. You have one child. I have twenty."

I laughed as I hung up. My one toddler can sometimes make up to twenty kids with some of his messes.

The next four days was study, study, study. I handed in my assessment, did some more of my course, spring cleaned my house and had a great chat with Luke on the phone.

The reality of this sabbatical had finally hit me. I was bored. My life wasn't in a rush with Rowan and work.

My monthly cycle had finally finished, always as short as ever and I went to the doctors just to double check I wasn't pregnant, telling the doctor I hadn't got my periods yet.

Thankfully, that came back negative as well. I left his office in a better mood and went straight across the waiting room to the in store chemist to pick up some things.

"Have you read this week's edition?" I heard a cashier ask her colleague. I turned to see her holding up Soul. I hadn't even bothered buying this week's.

"Yeah. The astrological signs were spot on for me this week." The tall blonde woman said.

"Nah, not for me. Do you read the lifestyle section?"

"Sweetie, most of it is lifestyle."

"The advice column."

My ears pricked. Advice column?

I hung around the shelf I was originally looking at, eavesdropping.

"It's a bit mediocre this week. I usually love reading the advice." The short blonde one said.

I went to the counter and paid for my stuff.

"Oh, is that this week's?" I asked casually.

"Yeah." The short blonde said.

"Is it good? I haven't had the chance to buy it yet."

"Here." The lady handed it to me. "I've already read it." She smiled.

"Oh no! I couldn't." I smiled back at her.

"No. Take it." She shoved it in my hands and rang up my items.

"Thank you." I grinned as I left, heading to my car. I sat there, flicking to the section I wanted and read it.

Mediocre was an overstatement. I tossed the magazine to the passenger seat and turned the key in the ignition.

I think I'm gonna have to confront Ashley, again.

****

Taking a deep breathe, I stepped in to my office. Except it didn't look like my office. There was my CD player, playing rock bands and my fake palm tree was thrown into a corner, some shredded paper covering it like tinsel.

I arched an eyebrow and saw my desk. The photo of Rowan gone, the desk cluttered.

I cleared my throat, getting his attention.

Ashley looked up and saw me, not impressed I closed the office door.

I slammed the magazine down on the table. "What the hell is this?" I asked him.

"Hello. How are you? Me? I'm pretty good." He sarcastically said as he leaned back in the chair.

"Where the hell is all my stuff?" I looked around. "It had a nice feng shui environment. Now, it's like a teenage boys room. Oh god, is this what I have to look forward to?" I crinkled my nose up as I looked around again.

"Well, I tried your approach and I couldn't do it. Do you know how hard it is to pretend to be a female if you don't have the parts?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Ew."

"I work more comfortably in my own chaotic mess." He shrugged. "What do you mean this is what you have looking forward to? A teenage boys room?"

"My son. I have a son that will one day be a teenage boy." I snapped at him.

"Is he mine? We did, you know..."

"You're an idiot." I growled as I took the shredded paper of my fake tree. "Why is there water here?" I pointed to the base of the pot.

"What? I thought it was real, the first couple days. Now it's a beach themed Christmas work tree."

I snatched more shredded paper, throwing it in the bin. "That thing we did, the you know... That is never happening again. Trust me." I laughed. I pointed to where the picture frame should be next to the computer monitor. "Where's my son?"

Ashley turned to where I was pointing and went to look back at me when he saw the cotton bud on the inside of my elbow. "What's that?"

"That's why I'm here." I growled. "I was at the doctors and I heard two people complaining about my -"

"Hold up. You were at the doctors? That looks like a blood test."

I blinked several times before plastering on a large fake smile. "Did I say doctors? I meant the blood bank. I donated some blood." I said sweetly. "Any how, I overheard two people talking about this column and how mediocre this week is."

Ashley frowned at me. "Mediocre?"

"Those exact words." I brushed the hair off my shoulders.

"Look, if you wanna come back early, I have no problems with that, talk to Jan or Luke. They are your bosses."

I scrunched my face up. "I'm not looking for excuses to come back early. I'm here to tell you to up your game!"

"Who's the one doing this work?" Ashley smiled.

"You." I gritted out.

"Then let me do it, sugar."

My mouth opened and I was about to blast him when the door swung open and Jan walked in. "Rhea? What are you doing here?" She asked me. I went to answer but she cut me off. "Did you read this week's column? I can't tell if it's you or Ashley!" She smiled.

I closed my jaw and stormed out, leaving the building.

****

I pulled the blankets back over Rowan as I watched him sleep. He has life so easy right now. No responsibilities, no stress. The only thing he worries about is making the toilet in time.

I gently closed the door and started locking the house up.

There was a soft rap at the door and I turned the porch light on and opened the door.

"Ashley. What do I owe for this unpleasant visit?" I snipped.

He held his hands up. "Before you get friendly with that witty tongue, hear me out."

I stood against the door, a hand on my hip. "Go on."

"Being a ghost writer and imitating the opposite sex is harder than what you think."

"No smart ass comments?" I remarked as I stepped aside, inviting him in.

"Well, I can, if you want me too."

I shook my head. "Save it."

"If it helps, you heard Jan, she liked the columns."

I rolled my eyes. "Suck up." I groaned as I closed the door. "So what are you really doing here?"

I watched Ashley look around, his eyes went to my laptop. I went over and closed the screen, putting it in sleep mode.

"Nice place. I didn't really look around last time I was here."

"What do you want?" I repeated.

Ashley turned to me, a grin on his face. "I want," I saw him pretend to think about it. "An apology."

I coughed. "Excuse me? For what, exactly?"

"Storming in and thinking my writing wasn't up to scratch."

I raised my eyebrows.

"It's the same as you thinking you did a wonderful job, filling in for someone and they think you're not good enough."

I pouted as I crossed my arms. Groaning, I looked at him. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Ashley cupped his hand around his ear, stepping closer. "Sorry, what was that?"

I rolled my eyes again. "I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to say anything."

Ashley beamed at me. "Thank you. See, it wasn't that hard."

I shook my head again. "You're an arrogant arsehole."

Ashley shrugged at me. "Arrogance has gotten me places, sweetheart."

I groaned again. "Again with the pet names."

Ashley flashed me a toothy smile. "Just to annoy you."

"Well, I think we had a healthy amount of debating and insulting. I think you should go now."

"Are you sure that's all we needed?"

I frowned at him before I read between the lines. "Oh goodness. Did you come over here expecting a booty call. On no mister. When I said we won't be doing it again, I meant that."

Ashley shrugged his shoulders. A trait I've seen him do often. "How about, one more time? I enjoyed our last tumble."

I heard his laugh as I went to the front door and opened it. "Good bye, Mr Grant."

Ashley grinned as he walked out the door. "Until next week?"

"You wish, buddy." I remarked before closing the door and locking it.

****

Before I knew it, the two weeks was up for Ryder. Rowan wouldn't let me forget it either.

I was craving to see someone, but I just wasn't sure if it was Ryder or Luke. Luke wasn't due back for another week, being in Hong Kong.

"No sleep. Daddy." Rowan cried out.

"I know. You miss him. He misses you too." I told Rowan as I tucked him back in. "I promise, you'll see daddy tomorrow." Even if I have to drag Rowan to his office.

I gently shut the door, my heart yearning for Rowan and his needs as I went and poured myself a glass of wine. I had a textbook in front of me, my glasses on the bridge of my nose and a pen and paper, jotting down notes.

I finished off the glass and went for another, placing it on the bench and checked on Rowan. He was a bit upset earlier and even though he was asleep now, I saw that he had been crying. The poor thing, he cried himself to sleep.

I fixed up his blankets again and left his room, my eyes stinging. It hurt, seeing Rowan like that. He is only three and he doesn't understand yet. Ryder didn't leave him. He just had work.

I picked up my wine glass and my phone, putting on some music on Spotify. I had a ton of play lists, half of which were my relaxing music, some, more modern and today's taste.

But right now, it was country music. I turned the volume up so I could hear it and sipped some more of my wine.

I'm gonna have to ring Ryder tomorrow, see where he is, take Rowan to him if he is in town.

I gave up on my wine glass and picked up the bottle, shifting my laptop and text books to the coffee table as I sat on the couch, my knees drawn up as I cradled the bottle.

I was way past the mood to work or study. I've been keeping my skills close to me, rewriting the letters in my column that Ashley's been doing and I noticed his answers were very close to mine. Mine was just a bit more feminine. Well, I reckon they are anyway.

My heart was breaking for Rowan. It's not Ryder's fault he has work and that takes him to some other country's. But I've noticed he is more busy now than when we were together.

The light constant tapping on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I wouldn't have heard it if the song I was listening to didn't end.

Getting up, still holding the wine, I went to the front door. I couldn't even imagine what my neighbours think of me, people coming and going. At least Sasha's visit yesterday was a nice change.

I passed a mirror on the wall and fixed my hair, pinning the top front parts to the back of my head, letting the rest cascade down and of my face.

I unlocked the door and opened it, blinking at the sight before me.

"Hi." I breathed out.