Dear Concerned Friend

I understand that you are concerned about your friend and their choices, but you can't control them. If they choose to be vegan, that's their choice. All that you can do is support their decision.

Maybe if they stop shoving down their throats about the importance of meat, her vegan friend will return the favour by stop going on about meat is murder, I thought to myself.

A lot of people that choose to go vegan realise it's hard work and strong self will. You need to support her decision. Have a chat with her. Tell her your fears and concerns. People aren't mind readers. They need to know.

Best of luck, R

I groaned at the screen. What is this crap? I shook my head as I held a pen in my mouth, going to another letter.

Dear R.

I'm a new mother, all over again. I have two children from my first marriage and now a newborn from my latest marriage. My mother in law doesn't believe in strictly breastfeeding and I strongly do. She wants me to bottle feed so she can have baby for a few hours a day as she calmly stated to me. I fed my last two children and my husband and I have tried telling her that it is my choice on how I feed my baby. But every time we talk to her, she gets highly offended. How can I get through to her that she doesn't have a say in it?

Daughter in Law.

I puffed my cheeks out. How dare her tell her daughter in law on how to feed a baby! That's not her place. I felt extremely angry over the whole situation.

Then I realised I felt more angry than I should have. Woah, Rhea, I thought to myself. It's not even my place to feel that ire. I heard a knock on my office door and looked up.

"Luke, your back!" I smiled at him. I took my glasses off and the pen out off my mouth as I stood. "How was your trip?"

Luke smiled back at me. "Good. Got many things done." He told me. "How are things for you?"

I gave him a small smile. "Busy."

Luke came in to my office and lowered his voice. "How about dinner, tonight?" He asked. "I still owe you a dinner."

I felt like I needed to swallow as my heart raced a little. "Sure." I answered him.

Luke's smile got broader. "Great. I'll pick you up at six?"

I grinned at him. "That will be great."

"Well, I better let you get back to work."

I went back to sitting as I watched Luke walk away before picking up my phone.

I rang Ryder and he answered immediately. "Rhea, what's wrong?" He asked me.

Why did he sounded so alert? "Nothing. I've thought about what you asked on Sunday."

"About us?"

I rolled my eyes. "Give that up. I meant Rowan."

"Oh right." Ryder sounded disappointed.

"You can have him for a few hours. Meet me at my place at three."

"Uh..."

"If it's an inconvenience for you, then don't worry." I snapped at him.

"No. It's fine. I just didn't actually expect you to let me have him."

I was surprised by his answer. "Don't screw it up!" I told him. "My place, three." I hung up as I frowned.

****

"So you've been busy?" Luke asked over our coffees.

I nodded. "More than I thought I would be. I'm sorry, the timing is all wrong." I let out a nervous laugh.

"How?" He smiled.

"It's nothing. Just personal things that are happening." I answered as I finished my coffee. "I thought you were coming back tomorrow?"

"I was. But I have another meeting pop up that I can't avoid. So I will have to fly out tomorrow after my meeting in the morning."

I don't know why but I felt slightly disappointed. "Where to?"

"Los Angeles."

"Do you own businesses there too?" I asked him, intrigued.

"Actually, I do. Los Angeles, Boston and New York are my main companies in America and I think I have another business proposal for you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yes. How are you going on that course?"

Oh crap. "Honestly, I'm a bit behind."

But Luke was understanding. "I thought it might happen. Listen, I'll talk to Jan, let you have a holiday for a month or two, catch up on your studies. I understand it can be hectic with work and being a single parent."

I placed my chin in my hand. "How is it that you're so understanding?" I asked him softly. "Are you a parent yourself?"

Luke laughed. "No. But my brother is a single parent. He has a five year old full time. Plus his career, I know what you're going through. Not completely, but I understand all the barriers single parents have to deal with."

I laughed this time. "I'll think about the holiday, but what's this business venture you want me on?"

Luke grinned as he placed his coffee cup down. "Well, how about after your masters, and six months at the paper, would you like to do a radio segment?"

I batted my eyelids. "A radio segment?" I repeated.

"Yeah. Everyday at about eleven." He boasted.

My heart raced. "You want me to give advice over the radio?" I wasn't sure if I was excited or scared. "I don't know. What station?"

"NY44.98."

I frowned at him. "Where's that? I've never heard it before."

"Well, that's the thing. It's in New York."

My eyes went large. "New York?" I gasped. "You want me to move to New York?" I let out a small laugh.

"I just want you to think about it. You'll have a few months to think about it."

I gave him a nervous smile as I brushed back my hair. "Yeah. I'll think about it."

****

After my date with Luke, I was left leaning on the inside of my front door. "New York?" I muttered.

Gabriel lives in New York. But I've built a life here. I suppose I could put Rowan in the school Gabriel works at. But Ryder. He wouldn't be impressed having Rowan half way across the globe. But Luke said I have a few months.

But New York? A radio station in New York?

I was conflicted. It was a great opportunity, but I wasn't sure how it would work. I usually feel through the letters, more recent with touch.

Just like I did tonight with Luke. I felt him when we hugged good night. He likes me. A lot. I think the feeling is mutual. I know I'm attracted to him. It was a spontaneous move, but instead of a kiss on the cheek, we ended up kissing on the lips outside my front door.

Just like I feel Ryder. I feel his desires too. More physical than I like, with that close call the other weekend, me under him and us kissing, nearly naked. That was too close.

I sighed to myself. Why must I feel such empathy? Is it really because I'm just a compassionate person?

I heard the soft knock on the door as I turned and opened it.

Ryder stood in front off me, carrying a sleeping Rowan. I quickly moved out off the way as Ryder carried him to his bed.

I shut the front door softly as Ryder came back out. I saw his jaw clench. "You look beautiful."

Frowning, I looked down at myself. My silver halter neck dress was still on me. I wanted to change before Ryder got here, but Luke sprung that, radio thing in New York on me.

"Thanks." I mumbled out as I undid my hair, letting it fall before I twisted in a plait. "Was he good?"

Ryder nodded at me. "Yes."

I didn't bother asking Ryder if he filled Rowan up on sweets since the kid was asleep already. "Good. Thanks." I stood there, waiting for Ryder to leave, but he didn't go to the front door. He went to me.

"Rhea,"

"No." I groaned out. "My life is complicated enough, Ryder." I said.

"But you dating isn't an extra complication?" He nearly growled. I know he didn't like the idea, but he needed to let go.

"That is none of your concern, Ryder."

"What if it affects Rowan. Then it does become my concern. Does your date know about son?"

I felt how he said that by intuition. "Yes. He does actually."

Ryder was surprised by my answer as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "So this isn't your first date with him?"

Ah, I thought to myself. Ryder doesn't know it was the same man as the other weekend. "Yes. If you must know. I'm not hiding that I have a son."

Ryder smirked at me. "Of course not, you were just hiding it from me."

I gasped at him. "You don't know how many times I went to ring you. To tell you. I even wrote a letter! When he said his first word, which was Dada by the way. When he use to scream all day and night and I couldn't calm him, when I was in labour, when I found out about him, when he nearly got himself killed! The amount of times I went to tell you is more than none."

I saw Ryder frown as he came closer. "Wait, what do you mean nearly killed himself."

"Over exaggeration. It's nothing."

"No." Ryder snapped. "It's not."

I groaned as I rubbed at my neck from my dress. "The reason why I have the TV up on brackets and all the shelves screwed to the walls is because of Rowan. He was climbing. The TV fell off the unit and the shelves fell as well, landing on him."

I saw how red Ryder's face got. "Where were you?" He growled out.

"If you must know, I only just put him down as I went to get the washing out off the dryer." I snapped at him. "Don't come in here and critique my parenting." The subject had me upset now. "I can't carry him every second of his waking life. I can't watch him make every move."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

I sighed out. "It doesn't matter, but you can leave now, before you find out anything else I've apparently done wrong since you are so good of accusing me of that."

"Rhea."

"I mean it, Ryder." I needed to get this dress off as I took off my shoes. "Thank you for having Rowan, you can go."

I went to turn to go to my room, but Ryder stopped me, taking my hand and spinning me to him. "I know I said I will look after Rowan while you did this, but I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it." I frowned at him, pulling myself from his grip. "I'm not doing this with you, Ryder."

"Why not?" He growled at me, getting closer again.

"Because I don't want to get hurt again!" I cried out. "I don't want to go through all that again. I don't want Rowan to see me like that."

Ryder stilled. "I won't hurt you again, Rhea. I promise."

"I'm sorry, but it's not a chance I want to take." I said softly, stepping away from Ryder even further. "You mentally screwed me up after all that, Ryder. I can't go back to that state. I refuse to. I can't raise a child, a toddler, in that state of mind."

My words must have hit home with Ryder as he nodded. "Goodnight, Rhea." He said softly to me before turning to the door. Ryder let himself out and I quickly rushed to the door, locking it.

I felt myself choke up. "I'm sorry, but I can't." I whispered. "I won't let myself, let alone you."