Flashback

"I think." Rhea said to Ryder as she waved the pregnancy test.

"But imagine if you are!" He gloated.

"But what if I'm not?" Rhea asked as she nervously waited for the timer.

"Why are you being so down about this?" He asked her, taking her to him.

"I don't want to get your hopes up and then crush them. That's why I was trying to be sneaky." Rhea sighed as she placed her head against his chest and raised the test. "See. Negative."

"Maybe wait another minute."

Rhea shook her head. "It's been eight minutes. It's a three minute test. I'm sorry."

Ryder kissed her gently. "Don't be sorry. We can always keep practising."

****

Rhea laid curled up on the lounge, a blanket around her as she flicked through the television channels.

Ryder walked in, noticing the empty chocolate wrappers on the table. "What's all this?" He asked her.

Rhea shrugged as she kept watching the TV.

"Did you try another pregnancy test?" He asked her as he sat next to her, lifting her legs on to his.

"There is no point." She sad sadly.

"Well, it's been a week since you last did one. Maybe now is a better time."

Rhea shrugged again. "What's the point? It will be negative. Why would you care? You have been in a horrible mood for a few days now."

Ryder stiffened under her. "Just work things." He growled. "I brought another test if you want to try it?"

She shook her head and cuddled in to the cushion. "No."

"Why not?" He asked her softly. "Are scared about getting your hopes up now?"

"I know it will be negative."

Ryder lifted his hand and took one of hers. "Don't be so negative about it."

"It's not negativity, it's a fact. I got my periods this morning." She told him in a gloomy matter.

"That's okay. We can always try again." Ryder leaned on to her, taking her lips. "Besides, I enjoy the trying parts."

Now

"Rowan?" Ryder repeated as he stood up straight.

I swept past him as I placed the plate on the table for Rowan.

"Are you going to say anything about this?" He glared at me as I helped Rowan sit at the table.

"I'm not arguing with you." I sighed out as I ushered him back to the kitchen.

"You told me he isn't mine. So why name him Rowan?" Ryder snapped as he raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to continue.

I've danced around this fire for so long now and the past couple weeks I knew I was getting really close to getting burnt. "I'm not discussing this." I told him with my arms akimbo. "I have to get Rowan ready for bed after dinner."

Ryder took my arm as I went to turn away and I gasped as I froze, blinking several times.

I felt it hit me like a bus. The hurt and pain, the sorrow and grief, resentment and suspicion, confusion and jealousy.

I stared at where he was touching me and took my arm back from him.

"What was that?" He asked me.

"I don't know." I mumbled wide eyed. "But don't touch me."

"We will be talking and you will tell me the truth." He told me as I stepped away.

I was about to tell him to get out when I remembered those feelings crashing over me. I know I feel hurt and angry, but I don't feel jealousy or resentment right now.

"Fine." I sighed. "Later." I sat next to Rowan waiting for him as he finished his dinner and I took him to the bathroom for a shower.

"Are you okay, Momma?" Rowan asked as I wiped away a tear.

"Yeah, baby." I smiled as I turned the water on.

Rowan hugged me and I squeezed him back. I gave him a quick shower and he brushed his teeth as I dressed him.

"Let's go to bed." I said as we went to his room. Rowan climbed up and I tucked him in, a book in hand.

"No." He said suddenly. "No sleep."

"Rowan!" I warned him. "One book and then sleep."

"No sleep." He grumbled out.

I sighed as I placed the book down and got up. "Okay. No book."

Rowan immediately sat up. "Yes! Please. I'll sleep."

I gave him a small smile as I sat on his bed and read him his book. I was only on the third page when he nodded off and I finished the fourth page to be sure before I closed the book and left the room, leaving his door ajar.

Ryder was sitting on the sofa, typing away on his phone when I returned. Why now? I thought to myself. I don't wanna do this.

Ryder saw me and locked his phone, placing it on the table.

"Alright," I started as I brushed my hands. "Let's get this over and done with." I sat on the arm of the sofa, far away from Ryder.

"Have you slept with anyone else?"

"That's not what I meant." I snapped at him. "You know what. Forget it."

Ryder flicked his eyes to my hands as I took off the wrist warmers. "How's your hand?"

"It's fine."

"Who is Rowan's father?"

I glared at him. I can't keep going around in circles with this. "Why does it matter?"

"Because I want to know." Ryder said as he placed a leg on top of his other one.

I took a deep breathe and puffed out my cheeks as I exhaled it.

"I can always get a DNA test done."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

Ryder shook his head.

"What do you want me to say? That after you kicked me out that I went and hooked up with someone and carelessly got pregnant?"

"I would be infuriated."

"Why?"

"Because we were trying to have a baby." Ryder snarled at me.

I grimaced at his comment. "No we weren't."

"Well I wanted to!" He snapped. "I got handed photos of you kissing someone and I thought you were getting bored and then you told me you thought you were pregnant but you weren't and I thought that we could try for real then I found more photos. I wanted to have kids with you so I could keep you. But then more photos came, and I knew you were having an affair and the toll, the stress of it all made me snap."

Oh goodness. He is rambling. "I wasn't cheating on you!"

"I know that now!" He growled at me.

The room went quiet as we stared at each other. The tension in the atmosphere was thick.

"Ryder. I've moved on." The problem with that statement is that I thought it was true, but the more times I say it, the less I believe it.

"I haven't."

I groaned.

"Who is Rowan's father?" He asked again.

I turned away from him as I pouted.

"I see. Why couldn't you tell me?"

"No you don't." I snapped as I stood up. "I was alone. You kicked me out. We got divorced, or so I thought. I was sad and alone. I had no one."

"So you went to someone else's bed?" Ryder muttered out in a harsh voice.

"I thought I was divorced!" I groaned.

"Rhea. I want you back."

I looked at him. "No." I told him.

"I don't care if Rowan's not mine." He spoke softly as he got off the sofa.

My eyes widened. He has read this wrong.

"I thought you didn't like the name Rowan?" I saw his playful smile.

I closed my eyes as I rolled them, rubbing my forehead with my hand. "Ryder, this is the problem when you do your stupid background checks. Sometimes they are wrong." I started pacing in the lounge room, trying to think of a way to say it.

"When I slept with this person,"

"I don't want the details." Ryder muttered as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"When I slept with this person," I tried again. "It was only a week later I found out about Rowan."

"So you just did it for a kid?"

I wanted to slap him. "I didn't want a kid. I was too drunk to know any goddamn better!" I snapped. "When I found out about Rowan, I was already eight weeks pregnant!"

I watched Ryder frown as he tried to work it out.

I shook my head at him in cross manner. "The very last time we had sex was about a week before you accused me of having an affair." I bluntly told him.

"So, I'm Rowan's father?"

I looked away again as I went to the arm of the sofa, leaning on it.

"Yes."

The room was so quiet, I could hear ringing in my ears.

Ryder sat back down as I gave him time to process it.

"So I have a son?" He said to himself. I didn't bother answering him.

"Let's get some things straight, Ryder. I'm happy. I like my life exactly as it is. When I became a mother, my priority was and still is to Rowan. I'm his mother. I don't want what you're offering."

Ryder glared at me. "You kept my son away from me for nearly three years and you expect me to walk away from you both?"

I tried to answer him, but Ryder cut me off.

"No. I wont accept that."

"I'll tell him when I believe the time is right." I said defiantly, my head high.

"No. You will tell him as soon as possible."

I tried to say something else. "No -"

"Rhea! You have my child. I have equal say in this too! You will tell him or I will."

I growled as I turned away from him, walking to the kitchen. "Fine. I'll tell him."

"By this weekend."

I snapped back to him. "What?"

"I'm serious. Plus I will want to see him too."

What have I done? "Excuse me?"

"I want to know my son."

I felt shivers go down my back and I immediately regretted doing this, but I pushed that aside.

"Fine. You can visit him here, under my supervision." I saw he was about to disagree when I continued. "Do you seriously think I would agree to let you, a complete stranger to him, take him without me around with him?"

"I'll want to spend time with just him as well." I saw his fists were balled up.

"Then earn my trust." I snapped at him. "If you can do that, then we will work something out."

Ryder groaned as his face softened to me. "Why can't I have you too?"

"I think you should leave." I whispered, going to the door. "I have a big day tomorrow." I always have a big day at work.

Ryder obeyed that request and as he stood mere inches from me at the door, he looked back at me. "Why can't I?"

Oh yes, that question.

"You had me, Ryder." I spoke softly. "Then you threw me out."

Flashback

Rhea groaned as she fluttered her eyes awake. She saw her aunty sitting next to her as she looked around.

The room was painted with mountains and animals and there were curtains everywhere.

"Rhea, honey," She heard the soft voice.

"Aunty Mary?" Rhea asked as she looked at the woman again. "Mummy?" Came her scared voice.

"Mummy isn't here. She won't hurt you again, sweetheart." Marilyn sobbed out as she took the tiny hand.

Rhea couldn't understand what was happening.

"Where's Mummy?" She cried out.

"Mummy is gone, honey. But it's okay, I'll look after you. Me, Uncle Rupert and your cousin, David."

"Really?" Rhea's eyes went wide.

"Yes. You're safe now."

A tall man walked in and Mary turned to him. "She is awake, Rupert." She laughed and cried at the same time.

"That's our little battler. We were so worried." He had a kind smile as Rupert rubbed Mary's shoulder.

"You're in a hospital, Rhea. And when you leave, you'll come live with us. Away from all the bad people." She smiled.

"You are one lucky girl, Missy." Rupert said. "You must have an angel looking out for you."

Mary sobbed again. "We nearly lost her!"

"I know dear."

Rhea looked at her aunt and uncle before turning her eyes to her hand, the one her aunt was holding. She should have felt safe, but instead she was sad. Very sad, as Rhea sat there crying with her aunt. She didn't know why she was crying, but it wouldn't stop.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Okay, I hope you are liking this story so far...

The flashbacks that consists of Rhea as a little girl with her aunt and uncle are the tiny plot holes that have made Rhea the way she is. Her career path in psychology was because of how they helped her and she wanted to do the same for other people.

There won't be much explanation in her back ground, just minor flashbacks so here is the back story real quick:

Rhea was about 3 or 4, her mum was a drug dealer, Rhea found the gear on the table and started eating it, overdosed on it. Child services and police took the mother away while Rhea stayed with her relatives and was raised by them.