I placed my sleeping son on the mattress before leaving the room.

"Thanks, Sash." I whispered to her outside the room door.

"Are you okay?" She asked in concern.

I nodded my head as I wrapped my arms around me. "Yeah."

I told Sasha someone was lurking around my house and before I could even ask her to stay the night at her place, Sasha offered it to me. She had a spare room set up for when her mother pops in from time to time. Her husband was still in bed asleep as well as their two kids.

"I'm fine. Just a bit worried." I answered again.

"You're shaking." She said to me.

"Just shock." I gave her a nervous smile. "I'm just gonna lay with Rowan." I pointed my thumb to the door.

Sasha placed her hand on my arm, comforting me. "Okay."

"I'll see you in the morning." I slid back in to the room and curled up to Rowan. He didn't really wake up through the travels and in a way, I'm glad. I don't really want to rock and soothe him back to sleep when I need to soothe and rock myself to sleep.

"You don't understand. I need that book! I needed it three weeks ago." I stressed out.

"I'm sorry, but it's not here. It says it's been delivered, but we can't find it." The cashier said to me.

"Well, look again!" I snapped at him. I pulled back my loose hair as I waited for his response.

"We looked three times. I'm sorry miss, but, it's not here. I can order you another one, but it won't be here for another three to four weeks." He said to me.

"Ah, no! I have my finals then. I can't cram study in an hour or so. Please, tell me a store I can find the stupid book at."

"Excuse me," A voice threw me off guard, spinning to him in frustration.

"Please wait." I said in a harsh tone before turning to the owner of the voice.

I saw his dark blonde hair, the slight stubble on his face and his bright blue eyes.

I turned back to the cashier. "The Social Animal. How can you lose a freaking book that was on back order!"

"Did you say The Social Animal?" The blonde interrupted me.

"I'm sorry miss, but that's the best I can do."

I groaned. "Great. I'm gonna flunk because of you!" I gave him a death stare before turning to the man. "Yes I did. And if you happen to have it on you right now, I'll pay you double to what it's worth."

The man smiled. "I don't have it on me, but I do own it."

The relief was slowly washing in. "You do? Can I please buy it. I really need it for my finals essay."

"You aren't going to buy it."

I could feel my hopes crashing.

"You can however have it. No charge." He grinned at me.

Before I could register the relief that constantly washes over me, everything changed. But it didn't end how my dreams usually did, me gasping as I woke.

"Rhea! How many times do I have to tell you?" The angry voice came for me. I crouched in to the corner, crying. "Stay away from my shit!"

"I'm sorry, mummy." I cried.

"You've been nothing but a brat! It would have been easier to lose you through an overdose than to raise you!" She screamed at me.

"I'm sorry, mummy." I cried again. I had powder all over my fingers, my face and my clothes. "I'm...." I tried to say it, but I couldn't. I collapsed unconscious on the floor.

I shot up with a small yelp. Where the hell did that come from? I haven't dreamt of my mother in years. I haven't seen her longer.

I was panting and sweating again, but the room was cool when I fell asleep. This is getting ridiculous.

The room I was in with Rowan was still dark as I looked at my phone. No missed calls, no messages. Not even six yet.

My eyes swept over my little boy. So peaceful and innocent. I stared at the roof. What is going on with my dreams?

****

"Thanks for last night, Sasha." I said again.

"All good. How'd you sleep?" She asked me as she cradled her coffee.

I groaned. "Terrible." I admitted. "I keep having the same dream over and over. Except, last night, it brought up a past I thought I had long buried." I watched as our kids at their breakfast. "I mean, it was like a suppressed memory, something I shouldn't remember anyway. Like, who remembers stuff from when they were three?"

I saw Sasha give me a small smile. "That bad, huh?"

I shrugged.

"Why don't you talk to Gwen?"

I coughed back the coffee that I was trying to swallow. "The clairvoyant from work?"

Sasha nodded at me.

"I don't believe in that stuff." I scoffed at her.

Sasha threw me a look. "How are you so good at your job?"

"I dunno. I feel the writers pain." I chewed the words over. "I know it sounds weird, but I do."

"So why would seeing Gwen be hocus pocus when you have a special gift yourself?" I know Sasha believes in that kind of stuff, but me, I'm more of a skeptic, well I feel like it lately.

I bit the inside of my lip. I only feel their pain on the letters. I don't walk up to people and touch them, channelling their emotions. I frowned, or can I? It has been a sense I've ignored until I got this job. I know I want to help people, but I've always ignored this sense till nearly three years ago.

"Fine. I'll see Gwen." I muttered. I don't know what good will come from it, I wanted to add but instead I drank my coffee.

****

Dear R.

I think I've lost my touch. I love my ex very much and I can't think of a way to woo her over again. I can't survive without her, I need her. I want her. She loved me fiercely before, I wish for her to feel the same way again.

Mister.

I rolled my eyes. Another male. What is going on? My readers were females. I picked up another letter as I fixed my glasses.

Dear R.

I need advice please. My daughter is 16 and I believe she is going down the wrong path. We are a religious household but she is defying me at everything. I believe she has gotten herself or about to get herself in trouble. Please help.

A Scared Mum.

This one, I thought to myself. I can't keep writing to people about love all the time. I need a variety in here.

My phone rang and I jumped for it.

"Rhea speaking."

"Rhea, it's Jan."

I rolled my eyes at my boss. "I noticed the letters you are getting are plentiful."

"Yes, more and more every week." I honestly can't keep up.

"Great. I've been approved to thicken the magazine."

Oh no. "Why are you telling me?" I asked cautiously.

"Because the big boss loves your column and wants more."

Please no, some weeks I'm flat out doing five or six.

"I am dedicating from the next magazine on wards, three pages of your column."

I wanted to bang my head against the desk. "Jan, I hardly have time to do six in a week." I complained to her.

"Well, I suggest you get going then." The phone went dead as I groaned. That's about fifteen to twenty letters a week. Why?

I needed to get out off this tiny office. Before I knew it, I was at another little office, knocking on the door.

Gwen looked up to me, a surprised smile on her face.

"Hi, Gwen."

"Rhea, come in, sit down." She spoke softly to me. Gwen was a sixty something year old woman that had pastel purple through her long hair, always done up in a loose top knot bun. Her eyes wrinkled when she smiled, but always emitted kindness out of them.

"Sorry to interrupt you." I spoke in an awkward manner.

"Usually people don't unless they want advise." There was her smile again. "But I'm surprised to see you of all people asking for it. But I'm glad you came in. I've been meaning to talk to you."

I raised my eyebrows. "You have?"

"Yes. It's about your aura. I sense trouble, it's a confusing mixture around your head."

"Conflicting?" I asked her.

"In a way, yes. Are you having bad dreams?" She gently placed her hand on mine.

"Uh, yeah." Wow, two seconds and she is straight to the point. "I usually do and I can handle them, but they are coming more frequently."

Gwen nodded. "Yes, your body is preparing you."

I frowned. "What for?"

"Tell me then, if you can handle them, why are you here?"

"Last night, I dug up a suppressed memory. One I thought I had forgotten. Something that happened when I was three." I shuddered.

"That usually is a foggy area for adults, we tend to forget memories from being young children, but the feelings never really go away." Gwen lifted her hand of mine. "For you to bring something like that up, you have repressed the feelings, because what you're feeling lately is the same from when you were three, but you are ignoring them, just like you ignored your gift. So your subconscious is giving you something that hurts just as much."

I was dumbfounded.

"I'm going to think that what happened when you were three was something terrifying?"

I nodded. "I can't remember exactly what, but all I do remember was being petrified, crying, saying I'm sorry."

"But something happened that changed your life completely." Gwen added.

I nodded again. You could say that. "I died." I whispered out.

Gwen nodded, waiting for me to continue. "All I know is I died, doctors brought me back than I lived with my aunt and uncle." It was a scary time for me back than. It took me years to recover from it, emotionally.

"Rhea!" I heard Jan call out.

I looked behind me. "I better get back to work. I have an extra two pages to fill. Thanks, Gwen." I wasn't sure what exactly I was thanking her for. I got as far as the door when Gwen called out to me.

"Rhea, I died when I was seven. I drowned. When I was brought back, I could see so much more than I use to before that event."

I stared at Gwen. "Uh..."

"Oh and, ask for a pay rise. You'll get it." She smiled as she went back to her computer.

A pay rise? I never thought of that. If I have to do three pages instead of one, hell, I should get a pay rise.

I went to Jan. "You called?" I smiled sweetly at her.

"The day care called. Don't know why I got it."

"What?" I asked in concern.

"Your son has a fever and they want you to pick him up."

I quickly rushed to my office and collected my bags before heading to Jan. "Jan. I can do the three pages, but I want a pay rise."

"What?" She asked in slight shock. I've never demanded this before.

"Well, my hours will be spilling in to my home time to meet the deadline so I think I deserve a pay rise." I kept my chin up, trying my hardest not to run out of here.

Jan smirked at me. "Well, it's about time you got a bit of confidence. Sure, you get your pay rise."

"Thank you." I whispered as I turned on my heel and ran to my car.

****

Flashback

"I did it!" Rhea squealed as she jumped in to Ryder's arms.

"See, I knew you could." He smiled at her.

"All because you let me borrow that book."

"No. It's yours now. I have no need for it." Ryder mumbled against her lips. "You have officially graduated."

Rhea was grinning ear to ear as she stayed pressed against Ryder's chest. "I know how we can celebrate." She whispered haughtily to him.

Ryder grinned back at her. "Come on." He said as he ushered her to his car. Rhea giggled as she opened the door.

"But first, I have a surprise for you." Ryder said cautiously to her.

Rhea's eyes widened as she did up her seat belt. "What?"

"It's not a surprise if you know." Ryder laughed as he turned the car on.

Rhea watched as the drove for a while, her impatience was her asking where they were going every minute or so. Ryder didn't answer as he took her hand.

Rhea turned and smiled at him. Every time he touched her, she felt safe and warm and happy. Even when she was in a black mood.

They pulled in to a car yard as Rhea's eyes widen. The cars were fancy high class models.

"Not to sound selfish," Rhea muttered to him as she tore her eyes away from the cars to his smiling face. "But are you buying me a car?"

"Your graduating present. Since you have no one else, you should at least get something."

Rhea gasped. "I would have been happy with a dinner." She laughed out. They both got out off the car.

"Pick anyone you want." He mumbled to her as he gave her a kiss.

"Ryder, we've only known each other for four weeks." Rhea gasped out. "I can't let you buy me a car."

"Fine, I'll pick it instead." He teased at her.

"Fine." Rhea grumbled. They walked around the car yard till Rhea spotted one.

"That one. The shiny red one." She pointed out.